Away From the Sun (21 page)

He looks up at me again. “It took over an hour,” he says. “Every couple of minutes I would get out to see if he was dead yet.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe I did such a thing.” Tears roll down his cheeks and his chin begins to tremble. “When I see someone like you, I see innocence and beauty. I feel a need to protect you. I feel like I failed my family, but I’ve been given another chance to save someone else.” He bites his lower lip. “I just…I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

I want to reach out to him. I want to comfort him, but I don’t want to see his future. I just want to be able to touch him without my Starborn power going haywire.
 

“Though the man deserved to die,” Ethan says, “I can’t help but wonder what kind of monster I’ve become.”

“You are anything but a monster,” I say. “No one can judge you for what you’ve done. None of us have been through that kind of scenario.” I sigh. “I imagine if a few more people dragged raiders behind their trucks, punishing them for their atrocities, there would be a lot fewer raiders out there. It took guts to go after them. There’s no doubt that you stopped them from doing the same thing to somebody else.”

Ethan swallows and looks back toward the sunset. He pulls himself off the vent and leans against the railing. “I wish there was a way to stop all of it,” he says. “We need a leader. Someone who can unite people together and run the raiders out of our settlements. Not someone that uses raiders for his gain.”

I walk over to the railing and stand next to Ethan. “Maybe you can be that person,” I say.
 

He shakes his head at me. “I’m not a leader. I don’t have the ear of anyone.”

“I would follow you,” I say.
 

He takes a deep breath, looking into my eyes. “I want to touch you,” he says.
 

“I don’t want to see your future,” I say.
 

“I know.” He looks away from me.
 

I want to touch him too. The memory of the vision I had seemed strange at the time, but right now it would feel so right. How comforting would it be to be able to hold someone—to tell each other that everything will be all right? I want to feel his strong arms wrapped around me. I need the feeling of protection—of trust. I don’t want to be alone.
 

“But I want to hold you, too,” I say.
 

He looks at me, his eyes seemingly excited. I reach out to him, giving him permission to hold me.
 

Do not see his future. I don’t want a vision. I only want to be in the moment. I don’t want to see his future!

I repeat the words in my head over and over. My hands wrap around his waist as his arms go around my shoulders and back. He pulls me in tight and I rest my head against his chest, my back now facing the sun. I love this moment, resting in Ethan’s warm embrace. I care about nothing else in the world. I am touching someone and I don’t have to see his future.
 

It’s nice.
 

But what about…the kiss?

I pull my head back from his chest and look into his eyes. He sets a hand against my tender cheek and my lips begin to tremble. A pang of guilt reaches my heart as I think about the ones that I’ve lost—about Lucas.
 

His head moves in and I close my eyes, letting my lips press against his. My heart is beating out of my chest. I’ve wanted this. I don’t know how long—maybe since the day we sat together at the fire. But it wouldn’t have been right then. Now, I can think of nothing more right.

Ethan pulls away from me for a moment, brushing a strand of hair from my face and placing it behind my ear affectionately.
 

“I’m not going to let you die,” I say. “I can’t.”

“If I don’t leave your side, then the future you saw can’t happen.”
 

I hold him tighter to me and I wonder if this is the alternate future to the one where I saw him get shot in the street.

I know it is. This is it. Ethan and I are together now. No other future matters.
 

That is…unless it does.
 

I hate the ignorance of people. When they do things because they think it’s
‘right’
or
‘good’
when it really isn’t
‘right’
or
‘good’
, everything gets screwed up. This is particularly true in the case with Waverly. She has no idea what plan Ashley and I have been working on for months now.
 

Ashley is a mole. An insider. A person who has allied herself to Shadowface only so she can infiltrate the group. She is on my side and always will be until the day she dies. Which, I’m afraid, is soon to come. It kills me to think in such a way because she is the only person that I love. She is the only person that I have ever loved. This flood of emotions that seems to have taken over every facet of my being is nothing like I have ever felt before. I feel like the weight of a skyscraper has just come tumbling down over me.
 

Ashley was from a small settlement called Harlan and it was under the control of this mysterious Shadowface. She knew this because she had been part of Harlan’s governing body. Well, what she saw, she didn’t like one bit. My father and I had visited this settlement a couple of times, asking questions that might lead us to Shadowface. The settlement was gracious enough to put us up for the night, but it was clear that they were not going to talk about Shadowface.
 

Except Ashley.
 

She came to us in the middle of the night and told us everything she knew about the transactions with this mysterious figure. Where they held meetings. Who she had met from Shadowface’s team. But we learned that she knew very little about Shadowface the person.

I remember the meeting so well. Her black hair glistened in the soft glow of the lamplight. Her slender cheeks dimpled on both sides every time she smiled, which, I thought was too seldom. She had a confidence within her that stirred something inside of me the moment we started talking. My father and I spoke with her for several hours, though I had wished that he wasn’t with me on this particular trip because I wanted to get to know Ashley better. But with my father there, it was all business.

We talked strategy. We told her about who we were. We even told her that we meant to kill Shadowface and bring him to justice for his murderous ways, his fraternization with bandits, and plans of domination. We decided that she was going to independently fight against my father and me in hopes that she could get in with Shadowface and help us get close to him so we could take him out.

All of this had to be played delicately. We even had to stage a few near-misses that would have otherwise gotten us killed, just to make her siding with Shadowface seem authentic.
 

Of course, on occasion, my father thought that she might be playing both sides to see which one would come out the winner. But when the two of us fell in love, I couldn’t believe that she would actually be trying to help Shadowface. Our love was true. Pure. It was us and no one else.
 

My father hated the idea of the two of us getting involved, but he never said much about it. He thought that it might get in the way of what we were trying to do, but he kept out of it for the most part. My only disappointment was that it seemed Shadowface kept Ashley at arm’s length. Her meetings were always with the assistant named Samuel. Of course, over the months, we got to know Samuel very well. He is a cunning, ruthless man that will cut your heart out if he thinks it will benefit himself.
 

I always felt nervous for Ashley when she would have to go to meetings with Samuel. I never felt like she was safe. But then she met with him a few weeks ago and learned of a special place. She learned by accident that Shadowface was going to be in Sealy. I say
by accident
because Samuel had no intention of telling Ashley about traveling to Sealy, and when it slipped his tongue, he didn’t seem to notice that he had said anything. Of course, Ashley stayed sharp and pretended that she didn’t hear a word.
 

This was our perfect chance to attack them. But it didn’t work out. Shadowface got away and now we’re here in the middle of Elkhorn, hoping to survive the current battle. But, as it would seem, Waverly has other ideas about the mortality of our group. Particularly the one I love.

So, the ignorance of people, in this case, Waverly, has directly affected what we are trying to accomplish here. My father was certain that Shadowface planned to attack Elkhorn after gaining knowledge of Waverly and the vial of blood, but it was Ashley who made sure it would happen. She got in contact with Samuel a week ago. She told him about Waverly. She promised to get Shadowface the blood with the condition that Ashley be allowed to actually meet with Shadowface and not Samuel. Samuel agreed as long as she killed Jeremiah, myself, and any of the other potential enemies. It seemed that once Shadowface discovered the blood was here, there was no interest in taking Elkhorn on as a networked settlement. Shadowface was fine with annihilating everyone here as long as the blood was obtained. But now, Ashley might be dead. And without her, we can’t assassinate Shadowface.
 

I raise my head off the ground and wipe blood from my face. I can’t be sure, but I think my nose is broken. I’d love to smack the butt of a rifle against the side of Ethan’s face and see how he likes it.
 

It’s hard for me to see straight as I bend down to pick up my knife and begin walking down the long hallway toward the conference room. I fear what I will see. I fear that death has already knocked on Ashley’s door and taken her away from this world. But that cannot have happened. If she’s dead then what do I have to live for? Will I live for my father’s dream of destroying this mysterious enemy? An enemy I believe he knows more about than he will ever let on? No. If Ashley is dead…if she’s gone, then so am I. My father can finish this mission without me. What would be the point in staying on? It’s all meaningless without Ashley.

I find her lying on the floor, blood pooling around her. She is breathing, but I don’t know for how long. I tap her cheek lightly to try and get her to wake up.

I have to ignore the sounds of gunfire and the shaking of explosions while I try to wake her. It takes a few minutes, but she finally opens her eyes and smiles.
 

“How bad is it?” she whispers to me.
 

I look closely at her gunshot wound. The bullet had passed just above her kidney and through her torso. It was a wonder she wasn’t dead already.

“I’m no surgeon,” I say pathetically. “But it doesn’t look good.”

She tries to pull herself up.
 

“What are you doing?” I ask, my eyes wide.
 

“I’ve got to finish this,” she says. “I’ve got to meet with Samuel and give him the blood. He’s going to kill everyone.”

I shake my head. “No. You can’t move around. We’ve got to keep pressure on that wound. You need to rest.”

“The blood,” she says. “Waverly has it. If we get it to Shadowface, we can finish this.”

I shake my head again. “You don’t have the strength to go through with it. You must rest.”
 

“I just…I just…” Her eyes close again, and for a moment, I think she is dead, but her steady breaths tell me otherwise.

I pick her up off the ground and set her on the conference room table. While she sleeps, I try to bandage her wound as best I can. There is no leaving this part of the city. There is no place to take her. I suppose I could set her up in one of the converted sleeping rooms, but that part of the building faces the action. Random bullets have sprayed that part of the building all day.
 

I rest a hand on her arm, thinking about the girl that did this to her. What was her reasoning? Why did she try to kill Ashley? There is no logic in it unless she knew we were after the blood.
 

We’ve played this too safe,
I think to myself. We weren’t going to force Waverly to give us the blood until the last minute. We needed to gain Elkhorn’s trust. Waverly’s trust. We never publicized our intentions because we didn’t know who might be in with Shadowface. We didn’t want Stephen and his people to know that we were gladly anticipating this battle so we could get close to Shadowface.

I grind my teeth together and snap my knuckles. I’m trying to release tension, but I feel that the only release would be to break Waverly’s neck. How would she like it if I sent someone she loved to the grave?

I think about what Ashley said about the blood being with Waverly. I can’t help but wonder about its power. Why does Shadowface want it so badly? Ashley had planned to meet Shadowface, but she won’t be able to now. The blood is only a risk now. I can’t let it fall into Shadowface’s hands. I’ve got to find Waverly. Maybe she went to her room, though it’s not likely.
 

I rub Ashley’s arm gently and stand. Surely no one will come to the conference room in the next few minutes. I’m sure it will be all right for me to leave her briefly.

I make my way toward the door when I hear Ashley stir.
 

“Where are you going?” she asks.
 

I turn to her slowly and whisper, “Don’t worry. I will be back in a few minutes.” She turns her head away from me and closes her eyes, breathing slowly.
 

I walk back down the hallway, my head feeling like it might explode. I take one of the exits out of the building and breathe a sigh of relief when I see that the street is mostly empty. There are a couple of greyskins lurking around, and there are many more motionless on the ground. I enter into the next building and make my way up the stairs, trying to remember which room was Waverly’s. I know I’ve passed by it sometime during the week. She and her friend, Ethan, had been discussing something. When I had walked by, they looked up at me like I was an impostor. I suppose I am. I wonder now if they were plotting Ashley’s death. Of course, neither Waverly nor Ethan killed me when they had the chance. The target was specifically Ashley.