Axira Episode One (10 page)

I stood by the doorway, my arms crossed as I stared in,
watching the class. Though my gaze was usually locked on Hendra,
more than once it drifted across the classroom, and of course it
drifted towards her. Cadet Em was sitting with my sister, all the
way at the back of the class. She looked preoccupied with
something, as she always did. If I didn’t know her scores, I would
say from her usual complete lack of attention that she was the
worst recruit in the Academy. The fact was, she was one of the
best, if not the best. Indeed, in many ways I often felt as if she
was measuring her effort, as if she was capable of more, but didn’t
want to stand out from the crowd.

As Hendra continued to introduce the class, the rest of the
recruits continued to look fascinated.

Back in my day, we’d never had an introduction to telepathic
attacks. Then again, back in my day, the galaxy had been a simpler
place, hadn’t it? These days it seemed cadets had to be prepared
for the absolute worst the Milky Way could throw at them, and then
some.

Hendra continued to sit in her chair, the streaming sunlight
playing across her golden robes as she brought up her hands and
gestured wide. “Today I will offer you a unique opportunity. My
race have been known for centuries as healers and counsellors. We
can enter people’s minds, dredge up fears, and resolve them. And it
is the conquering of these fears that will make you not only better
recruits but more resilient to future psychological
attacks.”

I’d had a few mindairs poke around in my thoughts before, and
it was a singularly bizarre experience. I’d also been forced to
endure telepathic attacks, but I wouldn’t use the word bizarre to
describe them. When a creature tried to force its way into your
mind to destroy or harm you, it was one of the most horrible
experiences the galaxy could throw up. It was like having a gun
forced inside your skull.

All the cadets murmured amongst themselves. Excited at what
was about to happen. Well, everyone except Em. She continued to
stare off through the windows, looking blank. Either she was paying
absolutely no attention and didn’t have a clue what this class was
about, or the thought of training in telepathic defense bored her.
Indeed, as the class continued, and the first few recruits were
asked to join Hendra at the front of the stage, Em didn’t once
glance down, despite the potent experience of fellow cadets
reliving and conquering past fears. Em was far too focused on the
view through the window, until it became her turn. When Hendra
selected her from the crowd and waved her forward, the usual hubbub
of the class stopped. In fact, there was a general sense of awe as
Em slowly and carefully took the stairs down to Hendra.

I watched Hendra shoot Em a curious look. “You are guarded,
Cadet,” she commented. She hadn’t made this comment with any other
recruit, and nor had she used the same curious tone. “Please sit,”
Hendra offered as she gestured to the chair in front of
her.

Reluctantly Em sat, undoing her arms and letting them rest by
her sides. Though her body looked relaxed, her expression wasn’t.
It was tight and hard.

The mindair tipped her head to the side, more curiosity
flashing through her gaze. “This will only work if you are
relaxed.”

Em looked as if she wanted to say something. She was never
rude. Brief, yes, but never rude. Yet now as she considered Hendra,
it looked as if Em either wanted to walk out or snap some insult.
Instead she went through all the motions of relaxing: pushing her
shoulders down, opening her palms, and letting her knees fall slack
as she sat in the chair.

“
You must relax your mind,” Hendra said as she took a deep
breath, gesturing with her hands as if encouraging Em to do the
same.

Em didn’t move.

“
If you do not relax your mind,” Hendra began.

“
You won’t be able to force your way into it,” Em finished.
“It’s when you drop the walls that you allow a telepathic attack,”
she continued in a curt, professional tone.

Hendra blinked quickly.

“
This class is meant to teach you how to withstand telepathic
attacks,” Em cut in, “And I’m withstanding yours.”

Hendra looked thrown. “Cadet,” she began in a warning tone,
or at least as warning as a graceful, kind mindair could ever
be.

Em didn’t let her finish. “I don’t see how letting you in
will help me learn how to keep you out.”

“
You must open up to me,” Hendra continued. “I don’t want to
push my way in.”

“
You don’t want to, or you’re not allowed to?” Em questioned
quickly.

I’d never seen her like this. She was challenging Hendra,
cutting her down at every opportunity.

Should I do something? Should I walk into the room and tell
Em she was out of line?

All this class had to do to pass this unit was learn to keep
Hendra out. And it seemed, as I watched Hendra’s hands grip tighter
on her lap, that Em had already passed.

“
I am here to help you,” Hendra tried again, her frustration
peeking through her voice.

“
How could an experience like this help anyone block a
telepathic attack? You’re creating channels that will make it
easier for them to get attacked again. I know how these things work
– the first time you let someone like you in, you make a hole. You
make it easier for telepathic attacks to occur in the future. So
what exactly is the reasoning behind letting you in in the first
place?”

Hendra looked completely flustered now. “This class is
designed to help you become familiar with telepathic attacks and
ultimately help you learn how to rebuff them.”

“
Then it’s badly designed,” Em said flatly. “I’ve faced
telepathic attacks before, and the last thing you want to teach is
how to open up your mind to them.” Em blinked as she said she’d
faced telepathic attacks before, and as soon as the words were out
of her mouth, it was clear she regretted them. It was clear she’d
let something slip. And for a woman usually as controlled as her,
that was a surprise.

Her admission made Hendra hunch, her pretty eyes blinking
quickly as she directed them to the floor. “Yes, I can feel that
you have experience. But what I am offering you is the
opportunity,” she continued, “To benefit from the healing powers of
confronting your fears, of confronting past demons.”

Em’s expression, if it were possible, hardened even further.
Her face looked as if it had been cast from steel. She didn’t say
anything; she stared at Hendra.

Hendra rearranged her hands on her lap, and I watched her
eyes half close. It was clear she was trying to break through Em’s
defenses. But as several seconds turned into a minute, it was also
clear she couldn’t do it. After a few uncomfortable blinks, Hendra
shook her head. “Very well, if you are going to be difficult,
Cadet, I will note this in my report.”

Em stood up. “That’s your prerogative.” She turned and walked
away, returning to her seat and somehow ignoring all the stares the
other cadets shot her. Elle immediately leaned in and patted her
comfortingly on the arm.

I stared. What had that been about? Em had faced telepathic
attacks before? Where and how? What exactly had she been before
she’d joined the Academy? If she were any other recruit, I’d find
the fact she had experience with telepathic attacks hard to
believe, but it almost made sense when it came to Em. She had more
experience than any of the other recruits, a keener battle sense,
and generally better skills.

Why?

What was her secret?

Chapter 6

Axira

I was thankful for one thing and one thing alone: Elle.
Though it sounded crazy, as I’d spent the last several months
trying to shake her off. But today she was being comforting. She
hadn’t mentioned my inability to interact during the spacer lecture
and nor had she mentioned my episode with the mindair. Instead she
was chatting happily, as always. Trying to distract me with a
midday walk through the grounds.

It seemed nothing phased her. I had just bordered on
insubordinate in the way I’d dealt with Hendra, the mindair, but
Elle didn’t seem bothered. Or if she was bothered, she had the
compassion not to speak about it.

“
We should go away this weekend. Some of the other recruits
are planning a training session in the mountains. You keep on
saying I need to get some experience in different
terrains.”

I smiled at her and said, “I’ll think about it.”

To be honest, the only thing I was thinking about today was
how I’d been incapable of controlling myself, twice. To be fair,
both times I hadn’t expected my classes to cut so close to the
bone. If I’d thought the spacer lecture was bad, the mindair was
worse, far worse. I’d felt her try to push her way in through my
mind, and it had reminded me – reminded my whole body – of him. Of
the control he’d exerted for so many centuries. It was a surprise
I’d only been snide and hadn’t leapt up and pushed her off her
chair. I’d wanted to. Okay, maybe I hadn’t wanted to use violence,
but I had wanted to run away. At the first hint of her trying to
wheedle her way past my defenses, I’d wanted to space jump right
out of the room and up into the sky.

Fortunately I’d held myself together. And while that had been
a personal feat, my inability to control my reaction to her would
likely attract a reprimand.

Even though the mindair was not a tenured member of staff,
and nor was she technically a member of the Coalition Forces, I was
still insubordinate. I was still rude. And yet I was still within
my rights. For that entire lecture and the entire unit were a waste
of time. I was right: it was a bad idea to teach recruits how to
fend off a telepathic attack by making them learn how to open up
for one. I knew better than most that as soon as you created tracks
in your mind – doors by which the telepathically possessed can
travel – you invite them in.

It was yet another example of a growing list of
inefficiencies the Academy had in its training program. If I were
in charge, I would overhaul the whole thing. There was little
wonder that their cadets were insufficiently prepared for this
rapidly changing galaxy. When they weren’t taught useless theory,
they were taught a watered-down method of combat that would not
prepare them for the true brutality of the galaxy.

“
I keep seeing my brother popping up everywhere. It’s already
been several months, and I can’t believe he’s still checking up on
me,” Elle suddenly said.

At the mention of her brother, I tuned in subconsciously, his
name coming to the forefront of my mind. “It seemed as if he was
escorting our lecturers. Perhaps you are mistaken, and he isn’t
checking up on you, but rather doing his job,” I defended Jason
Singh, and I wasn’t sure why.

Elle shook her head vigorously and flopped a hand at me. “You
don’t know what he’s like. He’s like my mother. Once they think
they’ve found a problem with something, they won’t stop until they
fix it. And look at me,” she grabbed the sleeves of her uniform and
pulled, “I’m just full of problems. I’m a middling recruit with a
family who expects she can do so much more.”

My lips crunched up into a smile of their own accord. “Your
academic grades are sound.”

Elle brought up a finger and waggled it at me. “And yet my
combat grades are the worst in the class.” Though she was
reprimanding herself, she still had a smile on her face. It seemed
that no matter what got her down, she would always bounce
back.

Me, on the other hand, I was still trapped in the whirlwind
of my thoughts, hating the fact I hadn’t been capable of
controlling myself. Considering I didn’t sleep, I knew I would be
spending the whole night staring up at my ceiling,
ruminating.

“
There’s a party on for the first years at Barney’s Bar
tonight,” Elle suddenly pointed out, “Everyone has to
go.”

“
That doesn’t sound like a party; it sounds like an
assignment,” I pointed out dryly. Several years ago, even several
months ago, I’d been incapable of humor. But the more time I spent
with Elle, the more I adapted to it.

She offered a light chuckle. “Tell me about it. Our superiors
are going to be there. Apparently it’s meant to be a chance to
mingle outside of classes, a chance to create camaraderie. Because
this is the Coalition Academy, and loyalty and camaraderie are the
glue that keep us stuck together.” She waggled her finger
again.

I considered it as I considered her.

I didn’t want to attend this party. I didn’t want yet another
chance to mingle with my peers. Though I understood the truth of
what she’d said, and knew for a fact that the Coalition valued
loyalty and camaraderie above all else, I could not deny I was a
solitary creature. Socialization was a lesson I could not excel at,
and one I had completely failed, aside from with Cadet Elle
Singh.

“
Anyhow we should go together. What’s that saying? Safety in
numbers?”

I doubted Elle could provide me any more safety than I could
provide for myself, but I nodded nonetheless.

Fortunately the rest of that day passed without further
incident. Which, in a way, simply meant I had more time to ponder
what I’d done and whether, in fact, I was cut out for
this.