Axman Werebear (Saw Bears Book 5) (7 page)

“My Change isn’t pretty either, and it’s still something I struggle with. Or I did when I was shifting before I got pregnant. It was painful, and the boys always look so powerful when they Change into bears. It will probably always be something I’m insecure with. Even Everly Changes beautifully, and she didn’t even know she had a bear in her for months after she was Turned.”

“Will I be required to Change with everyone else here?”

“No, I don’t imagine it would be required,” Brooke said with a slight frown drawing down her delicate sand-colored brows. “I think that someday you might want to, though. There is something therapeutic about putting yourself out there around these men. They are so accepting it’s hard not to test them.”

“I’ve noticed that. It’s been a strange adjustment, going from my father’s overbearing rule to Asheland, where it seems no one is offended.”

Brooke snorted. “Give that one time. The boys bicker like old married couples. They just never really mean what they say and get over their arguments quickly. How are you settling into ten-ten?”

Diem stretched her legs out and worried her finger over a wrinkle in her jeans. “It will sound strange, but ten-ten feels like more of a home than my room did at my father’s house. Which doesn’t make a lick of sense because I lived there most of my life.”

Brooke patted her leg and nodded. “I understand that exactly. When I first came here, ten-ten was my sanctuary after I’d been through something awful. I found myself again in that old trailer. Have you met Nards?”

“Yes,” Diem said with a giggle. “I fed him a piece of granola bar this morning. I don’t even know if that is what mice eat, but he took it politely and scurried back toward the bedroom.”

“Oh, gosh, you are much braver than I was. I screamed when I first saw him and just about knocked heads with Tagan.”

“How did you and Tagan meet?” Diem asked, unable to control her curious words.

“In ten-ten.”

Diem nodded. Of course they had. It was becoming clear as creak water that old trailer held magic. “And did it happen fast for you two?”

Brooke lifted her chin and cast her a knowing look. “Very fast. Our bond happened so quickly it scared me. That seems to be the way of it with these Ashe boys, though, Diem. The same happened to Danielle and Everly and Skyler. If it’s a good pairing, you’ll know almost instantly.”

Diem didn’t know why, but those words settled something that had been churning in the pit of her stomach since waking up beside Bruiser this morning. So, she wasn’t imagining the intensity of her feelings. This wasn’t just some pathetic attempt for her to connect with another soul out in the universe after being sheltered for so long. Her deep affection for him wasn’t because he’d been the first man to touch her—to kiss her.

Her bone-deep adoration and respect for Bruiser was real.

She let off a relieved smile.

Brooke squeezed her knee, then arched her delicate eyebrows. “You bored yet?”

“About that. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I know Skyler and Everly work with the rest of the Crew on the landing, and that Danielle works for my father doing environmental research, but I don’t really understand where I’ll fit in. I’ve always handled high volume business decisions for my father and ran the books for him as well, and now it feels like I’ve quit work cold-turkey. How do you do the domestic goddess thing?”

Brooke huffed a laugh and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. She snorted, then squeezed her eyes closed as if she was really trying to control her laughter. When she was in control of her mental facilities again, Brooke explained. “I’m no domestic goddess. There is a reason the boys never ask me to help when they do community cooking by the bonfire. I burn the devil out of everything. Honestly, Tagan still handles most of the domestic stuff—dishes and cooking. I help with laundry and tidying up the trailer, but that’s about it. I work, just not up on the landing with the rest of the crew.”

“You do? In town?”

“No, I’m a painter. In fact, I’m painting a picture of this place right now for you and Bruiser. When it’s done, I want to give it to you for a wedding present. Though I may beg to borrow it in a few months for a show I’m doing up in Boulder.”

“Oh, my gosh, that is so nice of you! I’m amazed by creatives. I can’t draw a stick figure or even pick a good color of paint for decorating a wall, so the way your minds work just intrigues me.”

“Well, what do you like to do?”

“I like numbers. They make sense to me.”

“Hmm,” Brooke said, the smile falling from her face. “And you don’t think your dad would want you to work for him anymore?”

“Oh, no. My life, as far as he is concerned, is at its end, as well as my usefulness.”

“What?” Brooke straightened her spine, and her eyes went wide.

“I’m supposed to breed with Bruiser and bear his young. My pregnancy won’t be like yours, though.”

Brooke’s hands went over the swell of her belly. “In what way?”

“I would have to force myself not to Change, and I would grow so weak that having my baby would be the end of my life.”

Brooke gasped and shook her head, blue eyes darkening with horror. “But that’s awful. Why would your father want that?”

“Because he doesn’t want to be alone. He lives forever. My half-brother’s and I do not. He needs us to carry on the line so that he won’t be the only one left. Growing old and gray is for the males of my species. Females, if they are proper dragons, don’t live past their breeding years.”

“You’re a dragon?” Brooke asked so low Diem almost couldn’t hear her.

“Yes. I told everyone that yesterday when Denison asked.”

“Uh, we thought you were joking. So your dad is a…”—Brooke swallowed hard—“dragon?”

“The biggest baddest dragon left. I can’t believe Tagan didn’t tell everyone here. You seem to share everything amongst yourselves.”

“Nope. He and Bruiser have kept quiet about your lineage.” Brooke looked nonplussed about that little revelation.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my father probably asked Tagan not to say anything, and he can be very intimidating.”

“Well, yeah, ’cause he’s a fuckin’ dragon. I’m afraid of him now, and I’ve never seen the man in person. Which, by the way, sucks, because I totally missed your wedding ceremony to Bruiser yesterday. Sorry about that. If I would’ve had any warning, I would’ve been up at the landing as fast as my car could make it.”

“I had about as much warning as you did. No one told me yesterday was my wedding day until I got there.”

“Okay, so let me get this straight. Your dad married you off without your permission, and all because he wants a baby from you that he knows will kill you?”

“Yep.”

“Your family sucks.”

Diem snorted and nodded. “Well put.”

“So, are you going to have a baby then?” Brooke asked in a careful tone.

“No. Bruiser shut that notion down as soon as he found out how sick it would make me. He won’t even sleep with me until we have condoms and birth control.”

“Oh, thank God,” Brooke said on a breath.

“My father is going to be pissed.”

“Well, your father is going to piss off the entire Ashe Crew, as well as the Boarlanders and Gray Backs if he pushes the issue. He messed up bad by giving you to us. We’re not down with sentencing our own to die.”

Diem’s eyes burned with tears, and she dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Brooke asked, squeezing her shoulder.

How did she explain the tidal wave of gratefulness washing over her? “It’s just really nice to have friends who care about my well-being. Who are defensive of me, instead of telling me I’ll be a failure if I don’t do this.”

“Oh, honey,” Brooke crooned, wiping Diem’s tears from her cheeks. “You’ve been through a lot, I can tell, but you’re safe here. You’ll never have pressure from anyone in this place. I know it might not seem like much, living in a shitty little trailer park in the middle of nowhere, but we won’t let anything bad happen to you, okay?”

Nodding, Diem swallowed down the lump in her throat and whispered, “Okay.”

“Good. Now go grab your purse. We’re going to town to do some shopping and eat a nice lunch. I have a craving for gourmet pizza, and I don’t want to eat alone.”

And that was when Diem knew she had found something truly special in this place. She’d hit the jackpot with Bruiser, but there had been hidden treasures that she hadn’t immediately seen.

Here, in this “shitty little trailer park in the middle of nowhere” with a band of strangers who already acted more like friends than the people she’d known her entire life, Diem felt like she finally belonged.

Diem was humming with excitement by the time she saw the first truck picking its way down from the landing. The foliage here was so thick she could only catch glimpses of each truck as they passed through the trees, and when she saw Bruiser’s old clunker third in line coming home, she grinned big enough to crack her face open.

A mixture of nerves and happiness filled her. The uncertainty came from not knowing if they would be as comfortable with each other after ten hours apart, but her excitement overshadowed her doubt.

Brooke waved from across the dirt road as she plodded carefully down the porch steps of her and Tagan’s trailer. Diem waved back and jogged toward her to wait for the crew to return from a long day cutting lumber.

Absently, she waved to the others who drove by like a sexy lumberjack parade, but her eyes drifted time and time again to the nose of Bruiser’s truck. He pulled in front of his trailer, and she bolted for the driver’s side.

He threw open the door, and his gaze collided with hers. Smiling dark eyes and a big old grin just for her, and she was running straight for his outstretched arms. Not even the dirt smears on his cheeks and arms took away from how sexy the man was.

He bent and caught her, then lifted her off her feet and spun in a lazy circle. “Damn, woman, it’s sure good to come home to a greeting like that at the end of a long day.”

She giggled and gave him a half-hearted swat as he nuzzled her neck. “You’re getting me all dirty.”

“Good,” he rumbled against her throat as he gave her biting kisses upward toward her ear. “I need to get you used to this. You aren’t in some fancy dancy mansion anymore, D.”

A soft rumble emanated from her, and he drew back as if he’d been slapped. “Was that her?” he asked in a shocked voice.

Pursing her lips to ward off the embarrassment, Diem nodded.

“Mmm, my sexy dragon,” Bruiser murmured.

He nibbled her bottom lip until she melted against him and the rattling growl came from her again. “You know,” she teased. “Most men would be terrified of that sound coming from a woman he was kissing.”

“Not me. I like my woman dangerous.”

She laughed at the idea that he found her dangerous. She was pretty much the worst dragon ever. Father and her half-brothers were terrifying, but Diem was a newborn kitten compared to them.

“Guess what?” she asked coyly.

“What?”

“I cooked dinner for you.”

Bruiser jerked his strong chin back as his eyes went round. “What? You cooked for me?”

“I did.” And it was at that moment the smell of smoke hit her nostrils. And apparently Bruiser’s, too, because he inhaled deeply and shot a worried look at his trailer.

“Oh, no!” Diem wiggled out of his arms and sprinted for the porch.

Inside, spaghetti-flavored smoke billowed from the skillet on the stove, and she yelped in panic as she pulled it onto a cool coil and rushed to turn off the knob. “No,” she groaned as she lifted the edge of the clumped pasta with a spoon. It was completely charred on the bottom.

Bruiser wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips against her shoulder. His body shook with laughter, and she rounded on him.

“It’s not funny! I had this all planned out. I was going to impress you with my cooking. I wanted to prove to you I’m not just some spoiled rich girl who can’t do anything domestic. The meal looked perfect before I went outside. You were supposed to be proud of me. For once I was going to make someone proud.” Her voice hitched as she fought the sob that clawed its way up the back of her throat. “And now dinner is ruined!”

Bruiser was doing an awful job of hiding his obnoxious grin behind pursed lips. “Diem, I don’t expect for you to cook for me, woman. But this,” he said, gesturing to the kitchen, “is so damned cute and so damned sweet, and if you ignore the smoke, it smells fuckin’ divine. Dinner is perfect.”

“It’s inedible,” she groused, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Look.” Bruiser scooped the top layer of pasta out of the pot and plopped it into a serving bowl. “Perfect. And the green beans and garlic bread look like they cooked up just right. Come here.”

“I failed.”

Bruiser canted his head. “Even if you burned all the food, I’d still eat it. You didn’t fail. This looks delicious.”

“You’re teasing me.”

“I’m not. I’m starving and can’t wait to eat with you.” He approached slowly and gripped her waist, then dragged her against him. “My mate. This is perfect. More than I ever expected.” He leaned down and sipped at her lips until she melted the rest of the way against his taut chest.

It was really hard to stay mad at herself when Bruiser was so forgiving. But then again, perhaps this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe she’d been treated too harshly by the people who had raised her, who made her feel like she was never good enough. Between Father and the nanny he’d hired to bring her up, she’d been scolded often and given praise seldom. Bruiser wasn’t like that, though, and she was going to have to learn to get over her insecurities. He deserved the best of her, burned pasta giggles and all.

“I don’t know about you, but I prefer my food burnt.” Diem wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him tight, a thank-you for being so sweet with her mistake.

“I’m actually surprised you don’t just eat ashes, you little fire-breather.”

“I’m not a fire-breather, but I do like my steak well-done.”

“Oh, now that’s just wrong. Just pass my cow by the fire and I’m ready to eat.”

“Gross,” she said, biting his pec gently. “Go clean up and I’ll get our charred dinner on the table.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, then kissed her right on the hairline and headed for the bedroom.

She watched him saunter away until he ducked under the doorframe, because dang, that man could fill out a pair of old, faded holey work jeans. A dirt-smeared white shirt clung to his defined back, as if he’d entered a wet T-shirt contest just for the benefit of her pervy eyeballs. Ripping her gaze away from the door he’d disappeared through, she set the table double-time. The sooner they ate, the sooner she could get to her naughty plans for him tonight.

Diem had psyched herself up all day for spending another night with Bruiser, but she grew more and more nervous through dinner. Fooling around was one thing, but actually making love to him was
huge
. She was guaranteed not to be very good at it. And she definitely didn’t want to disappoint her mate…

“What’s wrong?” Bruiser asked from across the small two-seater table in his kitchen. “You’ve been quiet the entire meal.”

“I went into town today.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Good.”

“Brooke drove me, and we had a nice lunch together, and I picked up a few things Mason didn’t pack for me, and then I picked up groceries so I could cook the only thing I knew how to, and even that didn’t turn out very good.” She was rambling. “And I went to the doctor.”

The confusion in his coffee-colored eyes turned to worry in an instant. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. I just…well, I got these.” She pulled the tiny pack of pills from her pocket. She’d gulped down the first one before she and Brooke even left the parking lot of the pharmacy.

A slow-simmering grin spread across his face as he stared at the tiny packet. “Damn, woman, I thought something was actually wrong. Are you seducing me with contraceptives?”

“Well, I know you said you didn’t want to be with me until I was on the pill and had condoms. I got those, too, but I didn’t know which ones to get, so I got a party pack of like ten different kinds, and oh, my gosh…” Diem put her clammy palms against the heat in her cheeks to try and relieve what was probably an epic blush. “I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing in the world for you to apologize for, D. I’m really glad you took care of all that today. It was hard enough trying to resist you last night. Tonight would’ve been brutal.”

“For me, too,” she admitted softly. “I like you.” Those last words slipped out unbidden, but she wouldn’t take them back. She felt how she felt, and Bruiser should know he was cared for.

He opened his mouth to say something, but a pounding knock sounded against the front door. Tagan stuck his head in before Bruiser could get a “come on in” past his lips.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” the alpha asked.

“Oh, sure,” Diem said. “I’ll just go in the other room.”

“No.” Tagan shut the door behind him and canted his head at her. “I meant, can I talk to you?”

“Me?” Her voice came out a meek squeak, so she cleared her throat and asked again in a stronger voice, “Me?”

“You want me to leave?” Bruiser asked.

“No,” Diem rushed out at the same time Tagan said, “Yes.”

Bruiser froze, half-standing from his chair.

“Stay then,” the blazing-blue-eyed alpha commanded.

Bruiser took his seat again as Tagan pulled up a rocking chair that was sitting in the corner. “Brooke told me why your dad married you off.” Tagan jerked his head toward Bruiser. “Does he know?”

Bruiser nodded as his lips pressed into a thin, angry line. “I do.”

Tagan’s attention swung back to Diem. “I’m sorry for that. It’s messed up. I wanted your permission to tell the others so they aren’t left out of the loop on this one. I wouldn’t bother normally, because it’s you and Bruiser’s business how to handle all of this, but your dad is a beast, and I’m guessing he isn’t going to take you shunning his traditions well. I get a bad feeling up my neck when I think about it, and I want my crew to know about any risks.”

“I understand,” she murmured, dropping her gaze to the edge of the table. Power crackled in the air and weighed heavy on her chest. Bruiser’s building discomfort mixed with an angry Tagan had her wanting to shrink into the woodwork. “Can you tell them when I’m not around, though? It’s all really embarrassing for me.”

“Of course. Whatever you want.” Tagan sighed and drummed his fingers against the table. When she snuck a glance at him, the corner of his mouth twitched. “You’re one of the crew now, Diem. Your battle is ours, and your worries are ours, too. You aren’t alone, not anymore.”

Diem shook her head, sickened by the thought of the Ashe Crew ever placing themselves in Father’s path of destruction over her. “I’ll handle my father,” she promised, determined to keep her new friends safe from the danger she brought to their little paradise.

“Not alone,” Tagan said, voice stern with finality.

“Not alone,” Bruiser agreed, tone somber.

“Anyway…” Tagan knocked once on the table and stood. “Drew set up a Slip ’N Slide flip-cup challenge, and we could use you two if you aren’t busy.

“What’s that?” Diem asked.

Bruiser’s earlier anger apparently forgotten, a wicked smile commandeered his face as he said, “You’ll see.”

“If you don’t have a bathing suit, Brooke is a hoarder of them and has about ten you can choose from to borrow.”

“Oh, I bought one today in town,” Diem said, growing excited. Beer and water and something about a flipping cup, and this sounded fun. “Brooke said I’d probably need one for hillbilly hot tubs and tubin’ season.” Whatever that meant.

“Good, I’ll see you out there then.” Tagan stood and walked off, but hesitated at the door. “Diem, I didn’t tell you yesterday.”

“Tell me what?”

“Welcome to the Ashe Crew.”

Diem tried to smile, but it came out a pathetically emotional lip quiver. “Thank you,” she rasped through her closing throat.

Tagan nodded once and disappeared out of Bruiser’s trailer, and her sense of belonging slid a little more comfortably over her shoulders.

Diem had a mate and friends, and now she had an alpha.