Taryn gave her aunt and uncle courtesy hugs, and afterward Ethan proceeded to shake their hands. Once goodbyes were exchanged the two of them walked silently to the vehicle where Ethan opened Taryn’s door for her. She raised an eyebrow at his gesture but he didn’t care. Honestly he always held the door open for the women he dated. When he’d automatically tried to do the same to her when they’d first become friends, she’d exclaimed that she was just one of the guys and to treat her as such. That was about to change.
Once Taryn was situated safely inside, Ethan walked around to the driver’s side door. He lifted his hand in acknowledgement to where Gordon and Lisa still stood watching them and then climbed into the SUV. He started the engine and shifted into gear, slowly maneuvering the vehicle around the circular drive. It would take them down the long black topped drive, past the immaculately manicured grounds, and through the iron and brick gate.
“Spill it.” Ethan looked over at Taryn as he passed the empty pasture to his left. She was staring intently at him as if she could read on his skin what had transpired in Gordon’s office. Her brown eyes practically glowed in the dashboard lights and her natural beauty was evident more so now than ever. Given that he’d taken time to settle in what direction he wanted to take their friendship, he was more certain of his decision now more than ever. He’d lightly broach the subject before they turned in for the evening, already knowing the reaction his proposition would receive. He smiled at the upcoming battle of wills and he didn’t correct her when she’d assumed it was regarding something else entirely. “Ethan, tell me now or so help me I’ll push you out of this vehicle and let the armadillos have their way with you.”
“D
ad had an affair with a married woman?” Taryn sat back against the passenger side seat, digesting the information that Ethan had found out from Uncle Gordon. She’d tried her damnedest to get Aunt Lisa to talk about the past, but she was very well versed in changing the subject when it suited her needs. “I have to say, as relieved as I am to know that Dad didn’t cheat on Mom, I’m not liking what that actually says about his character.”
“Madeline is the woman’s name. She was a close friend of Lisa.” Ethan kept an eye on the road, confidently driving them through the nighttime traffic. Taryn tried to recall if she’d ever met a woman by that name, but came up blank. Her mind kept going back over the fact that her father hadn’t had an affair while married to her mother. Her childhood memories were still secure, and as ridiculous as that sounded it gave her reassurance. Ethan’s voice penetrated through her relief. “Do you remember her?”
“Not at all, which I find odd.” Taryn could see the hotel from where they were, and as it got closer she wished it wasn’t so late so they could investigate further. She already knew she wouldn’t get much sleep tonight. She’d brought her laptop and although she was limited with what applications she had, she could run in this stand-alone configuration. She could still access several programs that would tell her exactly who this Madeline woman was. Taryn had access to the Internet now, however many of the applications she would need for a comprehensive search had to be run on a secure server and required a dedicated Siprnet feed. It was as if a weight had been lifted from Taryn’s shoulders and she could now surge forward, investigating Ryland without thinking her life was about to implode. “I wonder if the affair caused Aunt Lisa and Madeline’s friendship to end.”
“I would tend to agree with that assumption.” Ethan slowed the SUV as he flipped the turn signal to indicate he was pulling into the parking lot of the hotel. Taryn contemplated the various scenarios of what could have happened back then and her fingers itched to fire up her computer. She unfastened her seatbelt well before Ethan had the SUV parked, but she held out of exiting the vehicle when he didn’t immediately shut off the engine. She gave him a questioning look. “Friendship is a delicate thing. A person needs to know when a relationship isn’t healthy, when it’s stable, and when to move things to another level.”
Taryn wasn’t sure what just happened, but it suddenly felt like Ethan was referring to someone else other than her aunt. She stared at him, refusing to acknowledge what was right in front of her. His dimple was nowhere to be seen and the green flecks of his hazel eyes shimmered under the parking lot security lights indicating the significance of his words. The weeks blurred together and slammed into her chest like a 230 grain hydra-shock slug from her .45 ACP. Numerous thoughts ran through her mind as she tried quelling her panic at the direction this night was taking. He didn’t just get to decide something of this monumental proportion without her agreement and springing this on her now, in the middle of a goddamned case that was linked to her father, didn’t cut it. Bottom line—they shouldn’t be having this discussion. Period.
“I’m going inside now,” Taryn said, keeping her tone as even as possible for fear that she would say something she’d regret come morning. She exited the SUV and had made it to the sidewalk before finding that Ethan had done the same and was standing in front of her, blocking the path to the front of the hotel. She held up her hand to stop whatever he was going to say. “Ethan, don’t say another word. I mean it. You’re my best friend and I need you to be there for me…in that capacity.”
Taryn stared at the man who meant the world to her. Actually he was more important than that, which was why he didn’t get to alter their foundation. There was still time to make this better. Hadn’t she just been thankful that her world wasn’t imploding? Now she stood here looking at the match that could detonate everything they’d shared into pieces. He didn’t have to light it. They could each retire to their own rooms and start fresh in the morning. This could easily be forgotten and swept under the rug with several other moments like this from their pasts, although she couldn’t think of one of this mammoth of a magnitude. She inhaled slowly, knowing full well this could be fixed.
“Taryn—”
“Why don’t you check in with
Crest
while I go and do some research on Madeline?” Taryn walked around him, making sure she wasn’t close enough for him to try and stop her. “It can’t be too difficult to find out who she is. Let’s meet in the lobby at zero seven hundred.”
Whether it was a good or bad thing, Taryn left Ethan standing on the sidewalk. She didn’t slow down as the automated doors slid open nor did she look to see who was on duty for the night. She was always cautious when entering buildings or a new location, particularly since Ryland was still out there. Bypassing the elevator bank, she slammed open the stairwell door and walked up multiple flights of stairs until she’d reached the floor above her floor. She crossed to the opposite side and descended via a second flight of stairs to her own floor. Altering her approach had been ingrained in her since her first class in counter insurgency training at the academy. Besides, it gave her mind time to think. Had she not been in the shape she was in, she figured she’d be sucking in oxygen by now. Unfortunately she was breathing hard but for an entirely different reason.
Taryn pullout out the hotel keycard and slid it inside the slot, waiting for the green light to appear. Once it lit up she turned the handle and then found herself safely secure inside of her hotel room—at least from outside threats. She leaned against the door and desperately tried to think back to what she’d said or done to make Ethan think it was all right to change the status of their relationship. They’d always been partners whenever she ventured out into the field…best friends really. They still were, which was why she had to find a way to go on as if tonight hadn’t happened. Nothing had, really. A few words were said that could have been in reference to her aunt.
A low rap could be hear through the door, although Taryn didn’t need to hear it as she felt the vibrations of Ethan’s heavy knock. She didn’t answer right away, hoping against hope that maybe she had misconstrued what he’d stated earlier. Her life had gotten complicated in a manner she wasn’t sure how to handle. Looking back, she realized that she’d taken everything for granted.
“Taryn, open the door.”
She whipped around at the sound of Ethan’s voice and anger took hold of her the way she hadn’t allowed it to in the parking lot. Twisting the handle, she opened the door to find him leaning one forearm against the metal frame while he studied her for something she wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for.
“I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but snap out of it,” Taryn barked at him, moving back into the room when he stepped across the threshold. The door slowly shut behind Ethan, making the room so much smaller and sucking out all the oxygen. She ignored the signs of his body language, knowing full well his muscles were taut with energy and he wanted to physically ease his frustration. “For over a month you’ve been acting strange—hardly ever cracking your one line jokes, not going to Masters like before, sleeping on my couch more often, and watching fucking chick flicks with me when you used to complain there wasn’t enough action in them. I chalked it up to you worrying about me, but now I think there’s something you’re not telling me. And don’t give me that crap about moving things to another level.”
Ethan hadn’t interrupted her and was standing in front of her with his arms at his sides. His posture made her more apprehensive. He needed to hear what she was saying without acting irrationally and regretting it later, like he was known to do. She knew him almost better than she knew herself…or so she had thought.
“Don’t you dare repeat what you said in the SUV,” Taryn warned, holding up a hand as if she could ward off whatever reply he might give that she wouldn’t agree with. The way she said the next words came out sounding a little desperate, but she was at the end of her rope. “Just tell me what it is that’s been bothering you and we can
fix
this.”
Within a matter of seconds, Ethan had her up against the wall with his warm palms against her cool cheeks. The green flecks in his hazel eyes glowed like before, yet there was something in his gaze that told her he’d not only lit the match that would blow everything sky high, but also that he’d already ignited the fuse. Against everything she’d ever felt or believed, her body came to life in a way it had never done so before.
Ethan’s lips descended on hers and it was if the world stood still. The moist heat of his mouth stole her breath, and as he explored she felt the urge to cry as everything she’d ever believed was ripped out of her hands. His hold on her was firm, and against her will she relished that he took what he wanted. There was a part of her that would never have freely given this to him. His tongue slipped through her parted lips, seeking dominance of hers. It awakened something inside of her and she held onto his forearms, needing the strength that he’d always given her. In an instant he broke off their kiss and laid his forehead against hers while they both struggled for air.
“You tell me how to
fix
this,” Ethan whispered harshly, the raspy tenor of his voice signifying that he was barely holding onto his control. He was staring into her eyes as if she had all of the answers. It was all she could do to hold herself together. “I can’t tell you why things have changed. I can’t explain to you what’s different. If it were that simple, we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation. All I know is that I dream about you at night…I dream that it’s
you
who is underneath me in my bed. You have invaded every part of my life and as damn frustrating as it is, I want you with every fiber of my being. You aren’t the only one who gets the monopoly on unfamiliar territory. This scares the shit out of me too, Squid, but when have we ever backed away from anything in fear?”
Taryn held her breath as Ethan slowly released her, his hands falling back to his sides. This was a different man than before…he acted different, he looked different, and he damn sure felt different. She remained where she was against the wall, needing the drywall for support. She couldn’t get that from him anymore, and with one simple yet complicated action he’d shattered everything she’d come to know.