Baby Before Business (Silhouette Romance) (12 page)

With every button that popped, their kiss grew more heated, until Madelyn felt the pads of his fingers brush the top of her breast at the same time that her fingers met the crisp mat of dark hair on his chest. Arousal flooded through her, a need so sharp and sweet it paralyzed her. His palm covered her breast and she nearly swooned.

Everything felt better, more intense, more powerful because this wasn’t just a sex act. At least not for her. She really was making love. And he…might be.

Damn it! In the car she had decided she wasn’t going to push him into saying that he loved her, but she knew in her heart that he did. Though it seemed insane to need to hear him say it, she wanted the words.

She pulled away. “Ty…” He stared at her with such heat in his eyes that she fell speechless.

“What?”

Knowing what she had to do, she drew a quick, fortifying breath and simply asked, “Do you love me?”

“Don’t even tell me that after teasing me with that kiss at the day care, you’ve changed your mind.”

“I haven’t changed my mind.” She paused, swallowed, then jumped in with both feet. “But I love you. I
really
love you. And I’m just about positive you love me, too.”

He closed his eyes, then opened them again. “We haven’t known each other long enough to be in love. But we do have lots of feelings for each other and there’s nothing wrong with expressing them physically. In fact, there are lots of times…like right now,” he hinted shamelessly, “that expressing feelings physically is very, very good.” He caught her arm, pulled her against him and rubbed his cheek against the soft spot in front of her ear. “I will make it very, very good.”

Desire rippled through her. She had no doubt that he would make it very, very good. But now that they were this close, she realized something else. Making love for him was the physical expression of what he felt, so if they crossed this barrier without him admitting that he loved her, he would never say it. He wouldn’t think he had to. And that wouldn’t hurt her as much as it would deprive him. He needed to know he could love and be loved. He needed to hear the words as much as he needed to say them. Everybody did.

She drew a shaky breath. “I realize that if we sleep together, it will be great.” She caught his gaze. “But I also suspect that if you don’t admit you love me—” she took another drink of air “—you might never say it.”

He closed his eyes. “You’re killing me.”

“Actually, you’re killing
me.”
She stepped close to
him again, hope welling inside her because he hadn’t disagreed. “You love me,” she boldly told him. “No matter how much you think you don’t, I think you do. All you have to do is say it.”

“You think that I love you in a little over three weeks?”

She rubbed her forehead against his chin. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Not to me.”

Though those three words deflated the hope of the moment, Madelyn didn’t feel defeated. “You need more time.”

He shook his head. “Madelyn, I’m really not the kind of man to fall head over heels in love.” He stepped away from the temptation of her. “And I’m almost getting tired of telling you that. I’ve laid all my cards on the table. I told you I don’t want you unless it’s on my terms.”

“And I think you’ve been in denial so long, you don’t see what’s right in front of you.”

“Then you’re wrong, and you should button your blouse.” With that he walked away. He punched the swinging door and burst through like a man who had no intention of ever coming back.

Madelyn stared after him. Regret and fear washed through her, and she cursed herself for wanting him to love her. She’d done the very thing she’d been telling herself not to do for the past few days when he wasn’t speaking to her. She’d lost patience and she’d interfered in his process, and from the tone of his voice she couldn’t believe he would even talk to her civilly again, let alone let his guard down enough to love her.

She’d pushed him too far and she’d lost.

T
y was so angry he couldn’t see straight. With the potent cocktail of fury and sexual heat ricocheting through him, he bounded up the foyer steps and to his bedroom.

He intended only to change into jeans and a T-shirt and retreat to his office for the rest of the afternoon where he would distract himself with work, but decided to take a cold shower. He needed to cool off and not just sexually. He didn’t believe anybody could fall in love in three weeks, but for Madelyn to say she had fallen in love with him—a grouch, a guy who had been making her life miserable most of the time they were together—well, that was just preposterous.

To make matters worse, he remembered that this was how Anita had gotten into his life. She’d claimed love at first sight and flattered and teased him until he’d believed her.

He didn’t think Madelyn was as devious as Anita
was. But he also wasn’t stupid. Smart people learned from their mistakes. And Anita had definitely been a mistake. He’d be a fool to forget the lesson she taught him.

The shower didn’t help. Neither did the fact that Sabrina was apparently napping and there was no buffer for him and Madelyn. When Ty ran down the steps, on his way to his office, he saw her pacing in the living room. From the worried expression on her face, it was clear she was upset, but Ty decided she damned well should be. If she was tricking him, her only motive could be to assure she got the job as PR director. But she had to know he would eventually figure that out and when he did, he would deal with her. Most likely, he would fire her. So she damned well better not be teasing him to get the job!

Still, he couldn’t shake the notion that Madelyn wasn’t that devious. If anything, she was naive. Striding down the hall to his office, he couldn’t help drawing the conclusion that if she wasn’t making up feelings to manipulate him, then she genuinely believed she loved him.

Ty stopped short as a foreign emotion paralyzed him. What if she really did love him? How the hell would he handle that? He
liked
her. He lusted after her. He lusted after her so much that he couldn’t sleep. But he didn’t love her. He hadn’t known her long enough to love her, but more than that he wasn’t sure he
could
love her. He wasn’t really sure he could love
anybody.

Walking into his office he acknowledged that his experiences with love were so distorted that he’d quit trying to see if he was capable of loving someone. Since
Anita, if he courted a woman, it was in the city, and it was with a purpose. To have some fun. He’d never courted a woman to fall in love.

Worse, now that he’d spent so much time refusing to love, he could no longer blame Anita. If he couldn’t love, it was because of arrested development. He was a stagnating thirty-five-year-old man who had been hurt and never gotten past it.

Because he didn’t want to be hurt again. Because he didn’t want his company to suffer. Because he didn’t want his community to lose jobs. Because he wanted to keep Bryant Development—his only remaining connection to his parents—strong, vital, alive. For himself…and his brothers.

That was the real bottom line to why he didn’t fall in love. There were more reasons not to fall, not to risk, than to give love another shot.

And that’s what he had to remind himself every time Madelyn tempted him.

On Monday morning, Madelyn walked down the hall to her office, mentally running through her strategy for the arrival of the
Wall Street Journal
reporter.

Ty’s anger with her hadn’t changed the fact that he would be giving his interview that morning. Though he had refused to speak to her on Sunday afternoon, not even to let her prep him, she wasn’t worried about Ty going one-on-one with a reporter. If she had any concern, it was that their argument on Saturday had caused him to revert back to Tyrant Ty. The reporter wouldn’t notice it. He would be gathering facts about the company. But Ty’s employees would see the difference.
After the heartfelt playground presentation they wouldn’t understand why he’d gone back to being gruff and impersonal. A few people would give him the benefit of the doubt and consider that something might have happened in his personal life that caused him to be preoccupied, but most wouldn’t. If the reporter talked to any of Ty’s employees to get background for the article, too many of them would say that Ty had given a nice speech and donated some equipment, but he was still the same old Ty. Distant. Removed. Bossy.

Because Madelyn’s first responsibility to Ty was as his public relations person, she couldn’t dwell on the fact that his refusal to try to love her hurt her. She couldn’t give in to the fear that by ignoring what they felt he was hurting himself. She couldn’t even let herself feel the guilt of remembering that all of this was her fault because she had foolishly pushed him. Those troubles would still be around tomorrow and she could try to sort through them then. Today she had to focus on finding a way to assure that the right employees spoke with the reporter.

“I’m paying you
thousands
of dollars to find my brother!”

Lost in thought, Madelyn almost didn’t hear Seth’s angry voice as she walked past his door. But it eventually penetrated her consciousness and she stopped.

Ty hadn’t mentioned to Madelyn that he had told Seth to look for their brother Cooper, but she knew Seth had looked for his missing sibling once before and she also knew Ty and Seth had lunch together at least twice a week. It was entirely possible Ty had given Seth instructions to begin looking for Cooper and had simply
forgotten to tell her. Still, with the reporter expected in less than an hour, she didn’t want Seth giving Ty bad news.

“Don’t call me back with another excuse! You find Cooper and you find him now!”

When Madelyn heard the slam of the phone receiver into its cradle, she knocked on Seth’s doorframe, then stepped into his office. “Got a minute?”

He drew a quick breath. “I guess you heard that.”

“You were a little loud.”

“This private investigator is so lazy he infuriates me.”

“That’s why I came in,” Madelyn said, closing the door. “Today would not be a good day to tell Ty your investigator isn’t having any luck finding Cooper.”

Seth shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell Ty. He doesn’t even know I’m looking for Cooper.”

Madelyn gasped. “Seth!”

Seth sighed in exasperation. “I didn’t keep this to myself because I’m sneaky.”

“Then why?”

“I didn’t consult Ty about looking for Cooper because this search is fruitless and Ty has enough on his mind.” Frustration contorted Seth’s boyishly handsome features, and Madelyn realized again how different the two Bryant brothers were. Ty had dark hair, dark eyes and dark moods that he seemed to foster to protect himself. Seth was fair-haired with green eyes, and if he currently had dark moods, something had caused them. He was struggling to get beyond it, but couldn’t seem to.

Looking tired and worn down by life, Seth fell to his tall-backed leather chair. “What’s this world coming to, Madelyn?”

She shrugged and took the seat in front of his desk. “I don’t know. But I do know that since I’ve been here, it’s been obvious to me that you have some kind of problem. Something happened to you recently. Why don’t you talk to me?”

“Does my brother talk to you about his problems?”

She drew a quick breath. “No. But…”

“No was a good enough answer, Madelyn.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “And that’s actually the point. Ty gets a problem and he doesn’t talk about it. He handles it. I get a problem and I talk about it because I’m looking for help. And do you know why? Because I trust people. Ty never has. Because of that I’m the one who gets hurt. He’s the one who doesn’t.”

Madelyn took a silent breath. Seth had just outlined Ty’s entire life philosophy in three or four short sentences. He’d also made Madelyn understand why Ty wouldn’t take the last steps to loving her. He couldn’t trust. It didn’t matter that she’d pushed him Saturday afternoon. The real reason he couldn’t fall in love with her was that he couldn’t trust. And
that’s
what he had been trying to tell her all along.

“I’m not saying that it’s good to be a recluse or anything,” Seth continued. “I know Ty goes too far. But there are times when it’s appropriate to let your private life be private.” He caught her gaze. “And I think this is one of them for me. I’m taking Ty’s route this time and handling this alone.”

Madelyn rose from her seat. “Okay. But when the
Wall Street Journal
interview is completed, do me a favor and tell Ty you’re looking for your brother.”

He shook his head. “Madelyn, don’t get your panties
in a bunch over this. My P.I. isn’t going to find Cooper. Thank you for being optimistic enough to think I need to share this with Ty, but I don’t.” He pulled in a shaky breath. “This is my last attempt at finding Cooper. When it fails, I’m done. I simply need something official like a P.I. report that says he’s gone, so I can go on to the next step of my life.”

“I still think you should tell Ty….” Madelyn prodded hopefully.

He shrugged. “I don’t.”

“Seth, Ty’s going to be mad if you find Cooper or if he just shows up one day when he isn’t prepared.”

“Come on, Madelyn, Cooper’s been gone for eight years. Chances are I’m not going to find him.” He caught Madelyn’s gaze. “And neither one of us wants my overburdened big brother worrying about nothing. That’s why you’re also not going to mention this to Ty.”

Madelyn gasped. “Oh, no! You might have hired me, but I report directly to Ty. Because of Sabrina,
I live with him.
If you don’t tell him, I
have to
tell him.”

“Really? You once told me that the PR director was something like the office confessor, the one who needed to be privy to everybody’s secrets so she would know how to prevent them from becoming public knowledge. Well, I just told you something I need to be kept confidential. Are you telling me that what you said before isn’t true?”

She licked her lips. “This is different.”

“Not from where I’m sitting. You came in here as the PR director, wanting to make sure I didn’t upset Ty by telling him my P.I. can’t find Cooper. Anything I told you I told you as the PR director, expecting confidentiality.”
He held her gaze with his pale green eyes. “Am I going to get it?”

She licked her lips again. Whether she liked it or not, Seth was right.

“I’ll keep your secret. But since you insist I’m speaking as the PR director, I’m also going to give you some advice as the PR director. Tell Ty you’re looking for Cooper.”

Seth laughed. “Well, if that isn’t twisting things around to suit yourself, I don’t know what is.”

“I’m not twisting things around. I’m giving you the advice you need to hear. If Cooper shows up without warning, Ty will be furious.” She turned and began walking to Seth’s door. “And he’s not going to be angry with Cooper. He’ll be furious with
you
for not telling him you were looking for Cooper. Technically, that advice will save your butt…. Which is really why the PR director gets to know everybody’s secrets. It’s not just my job to keep your reputation intact, it’s also my job to tell you how to save your hide.” She paused by the door. Before she opened it, she said, “If you’re smart, you’ll listen.”

Ty was immersed in work when the reporter for the
Wall Street Journal
arrived. Madelyn called him from the front desk to let him know she and the reporter were in the lobby and she was bringing him up. Glad the wait was over, Ty put away the files he had been working on and turned off his computer monitor. A few minutes later, there was a knock on his office door.

“Come in,” he called, rising from his seat as a young man in his twenties entered with Madelyn. Though the
reporter was dressed in a dark suit, white shirt and tie, he didn’t look old enough to have graduated from college let alone be the representative of such a prestigious publication as the
Wall Street Journal.

Madelyn closed the door and said, “Jeff Allen, this is Ty Bryant, Chairman of the Board and CEO for Bryant Development.”

Ty rounded his desk to shake the reporter’s hand. “How do you do?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Have a seat,” Madelyn said, motioning for Ty to return to his seat before she directed Jeff to take one of the two chairs in front of Ty’s desk. She sat beside Jeff.

“Let’s get right to it,” Jeff said. “Why am I here? A privately owned company like Bryant Development doesn’t usually seek the publicity an article will bring. Why are you now?”

“There are some government contracts we want to bid on,” Ty replied, then realized that might have been a question Madelyn wanted to answer. He caught her gaze and she nodded slightly, silently telling him to keep going. He saw the encouragement in her eyes and for a second he wondered why he simply couldn’t believe that she loved him, or didn’t put some faith in her and take the leap. But this was not the time to think about that and he focused on answering Jeff Allen. “Competition for the projects is stiff. The awards don’t go to unknown, untested suppliers and contractors.”

As Ty spoke, his confidence grew. He never had a problem talking about his company. It was human contact where he fell short. “We have a great reputation but that won’t do us any good if no one knows it.”

“And that’s your message? That you have a great reputation?”

“No, the message is that we have an experienced, talented staff. That our field people are the best. That we can do any job we bid on.”

“Lots of companies can say that,” Jeff said, making notations in a small notebook.

“Yeah, but I have reports on successful private-sector projects to back up everything I claim.”

Madelyn rose and faced Jeff Allen. “You two don’t need me here. But once you’re through with Mr. Bryant, Jeff, I’ll give you a tour of the office complex.”

Before she left the room, however, she gave Ty a quick smile and guilt stabbed at him. All she ever asked of him was that he believe her. He took her advice about Sabrina and he was now a good father. He took her advice about his PR and the townspeople showed him respect. So why didn’t he simply let go and trust that she loved him?