Baby Benefits (16 page)

As the last of her tirade shuddered out of her, she looked—really looked—at his face. At the expression of shock that had settled over those perfect patrician features of his. As she did so, the words that had poured unrestrained from her lips echoed in her mind and flooded her with embarrassment.

She dropped her arms to her side. “Or maybe I got this all wrong and you really don’t want me at all.”

His shocked lingered on his face for only a second before being swept off. And then Derek, who never chuckled, never grinned, never so much as cracked a smile—laughed out loud.

The sound so surprised her, she withdrew from it, immediately backing up a step, stumbling over her own feet.

Yet she didn’t fall. Derek caught her. Snatched her up in his arms and pulled her to him. With one arm at her back and the other behind her head, he dragged her mouth to his and kissed her. Her feet dangled above the floor as he plastered her body to his.

His mouth was hot and powerful over hers. His lips were relentless in forcing a response from her. After a moment, her surprise gave way to elation and she opened her mouth, granting him access, welcoming him into her.

Her legs, still dangling uselessly, automatically snaked around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, her hands plowing into his hair.

His kiss was powerful. Unyielding. Everything she’d ever dreamed of. And somehow so much more. Yet not enough. Not nearly enough.

How long had she dreamed of this moment? How long had she waited, wondering how he would taste again? What it felt like to touch him once more? To have him touch her?

The muscles of his shoulders bunched powerfully beneath her hands. So strong. So wide. So capable of carrying burdens.

His hair, which her fingers had itched to touch so many times, was just as silky as she’d imagined. Plush and full, slightly springy. She imagined spending hours just stroking it. If there weren’t other parts of his body she wanted to stroke more.

For an instant, panic flashed through her, lapping over her desire. What if he stopped? What if he came to his senses? What if this was her one chance? Her only opportunity to touch him? To taste his kiss? To feel his hands on her body?

As transitory as passion was, his could fade at any second. Melancholy mingled with passion as tears prickled at the backs of her eyes. She clasped her hands on either side of his face, trapping his lips against hers in case he decided to pull away.

Only then did she realize he was already moving. Not away from her as she’d feared, but up the stairs. Cradling her body against his, with her legs wrapped around his waist as she clung to him, he was carrying her toward the one room in his house she’d never been in. His bedroom.

Relief surged through her and on its heels a new burst of passion. But not just desire, something else, as well. Joy perhaps, because at last he was hers. Only for this moment. Only for this brief flash of delight. But he was hers.

He made short work of the hall at the top of the stairs, striding past the guest bedrooms and Isabella’s room to the double doors at the end of the hall. Once through them, he kicked them closed behind him. She had only the briefest impression of masculine, dark-stained furniture and pristine cream fabrics before he lowered her to his silken-covered bed. He followed her down, resting his weight beside her, propping himself up on one elbow.

She pulled away from his kiss, retreating just enough to see his face. The face she knew so well, better than her own, better than that of beloved members of her family. Before now, she’d thought she’d seen every emotion he was capable of. Cunning, determination, anger, satisfaction.

But she’d never seen this. This heavy-lidded desire was completely foreign to her. A shiver coursed through her as need washed over her, ratcheting up the heat pumping through her body.

“You’re sure this is what you want.” His voice came out a low rumble, replete with barely restrained passion. As he spoke, his hand burrowed under her shirt, claiming the skin of her body just as he’d claimed her mouth already.

“This is what I’ve always wanted,” she answered honestly.

He pulled back to study her face. “Surely not always?”

She rolled her eyes in exaggerated exasperation. “Yes. Always.”

“Then I was a fool not to see it before.”

“Yes, you were,” she agreed.

Her answer was swallowed by his kiss. Her body gave way to his demands, her breasts surging up to fill his hands, her legs parting to accept his weight. Her hips bucked again him.

All of which only reminded her that they both wore far too many clothes. Her hands sought the wash-worn linen of his shirt, tugging at the buttons, desperate to undo them. To reveal the skin beneath. The chest she’d ached to touch so many times.

Raina’s touch threatened to make him lose all control. He felt as though he’d been waiting forever for this moment. For this chance to peel her clothes from her body. To touch her silken skin and feel her tremble beneath him.

His hands shook as he pulled her T-shirt over her head and cast it aside. Her breasts were encased in a plain, cream-colored bra. Like Raina herself, the garment was simple and unassuming. There was nothing fancy or pretentious about it.

Somehow the simple packaging only enhanced the breasts it contained. He didn’t need luxurious lingerie to desire Raina. She was temptation enough all on her own.

He didn’t need tricks or gimmicks. Raina naked, her bare skin next to his. The heat of her body. The sensation of her heart thundering in her chest when he pressed his palm to her breast. The quick intakes of her breath. The soft sigh of her release. The moisture between her legs wicking through her panties. The physical evidence of her desire.

All that was enough to send him over the edge. She was enough.

She was all he wanted. All he needed. And he’d indeed been a fool not to see it before now. But he was done being foolish. Now that she was his, he would never let her go.

As their clothes fell away, he rolled off of her for the briefest moment, only to return to her, sheathed in a condom, completely ready for her. But he didn’t enter her yet, though her body surged up to meet his, her breasts full and aching, her nipples hard and puckered. Her stomach trembled beneath his palm as anticipation shivered down her spine into the deepest heart of her.

Every cell in her body vibrated with the need to press itself against him. To be absorbed by him. The feel of his naked skin against hers helped stem her agitation, but also made it worse.

As his hands moved over her body, desire blossomed within her and she felt herself unfold before him, pulsing and moist, clinging to him, desperate for his touch. For the release only he could give.

Stroke after stroke, his hands pushed her closer and closer to the edge. She clutched at him, pulling him farther on top of her, desperate for all of him. And then he surged into her, dominating her completely.

Pleasure washed over her body in wave after wave, undulating under her skin until she thought she might explode, until she did explode, leaving her fulfilled and satisfied in every way.

In every way except one. For along with the tortured moans of need, there were words trapped on her lips, held there by the last remnants of her common sense. Words that—despite the passion of the moment—some part of her was smart enough to hold inside. I want you. I need you. I love you.

They were words he’d never hear. Because this act of love wouldn’t bind them together. In the end, it would drive them apart.

Twelve

Lying in bed, in Derek’s arms, her body replete and heavy from their lovemaking, Raina should have been as content as she’d ever been in her life. She’d certainly never felt more sexually satisfied.

Despite that, she was acutely aware of how limited her time would be with him. She had, at best, a few short hours before she’d have to rise from his bed, dress and leave him. Possibly forever.

Part of her wanted to simply relish the physical intimacy they shared, however a greater part of her yearned for a more emotional connection. How could she help but be curious about him? She had so many years of questions and this would be her only chance to have them answered.

So she propped herself up on her elbow and asked the first question that popped into her head. “Why did you hire me?”

His eyes blinked open, his expression sleepy and sated. “Because I needed an assistant.”

“Well, yes, I get that.” Absently she ran her hand over the contours of his chest. “But let’s face it, I was young and inexperienced. Surely you could have found someone better.”

He slanted her a look tinged with humor. “What do you mean? The woman I hired was twenty-four and had spent the previous five years working as an assistant for J. P. Morgan.”

She stared blankly at him for a minute. “J. P. Morgan? Was that really the name I put on my résumé?”

He nodded. “That’s right. According to your résumé, you were the assistant to the famous nineteenth century industrialist.”

She laughed, dropping her face to his chest to hide her embarrassment. “Okay, I knew I was lying on my résumé, but I thought I was just making up a name. It must have been stuck in my head from high school history or something.” She looked up, her laughter fading. “So why did you hire me? Obviously you knew I’d lied about my experience on my résumé.”

“Not just about your experience,” he pointed out. “About your age, too. You were only…what was it? Eighteen?”

“Nineteen. But just barely.” She propped her chin on his chest. “At first, I thought I was just lucky. That you didn’t check the references I’d made up or that you hadn’t noticed that the age listed on my résumé was different than the info I filled out for personnel. But I know better than that now. You never would have hired me without checking that stuff. You just chose to ignore it. Why?”

“Pure ruthlessness. Obviously you were desperate for the job. I was desperate for someone who would work really hard. I knew if you were willing to lie for the job, working long hours wouldn’t be a problem. So I took a chance. It worked out for both of us.”

She chuckled. “And here you always pretend to be so conservative. That was a pretty big risk for Mr. Gotta-Plan-Everything-Out. Looks like maybe you have a reckless streak I didn’t know about.”

“Maybe I’m better at taking risks than you think.”

She sucked in a deep breath. Time to stop beating around the bush. “You want to do something really reckless? Get rid of Kitty.”

It was probably stupid of her to bring up Kitty at a time like this, knowing that the very topic of conversation would drive a wedge between them. But how could she not try, one last time, to convince him she was right. Regardless of what happened next, their relationship would end in a matter of hours anyway. This was the end of the line for her. Soon she wouldn’t be his assistant or his lover. She’d have no right to tell him her opinions. Now was all she had.

He said nothing, his expression blank, his emotions carefully controlled.

But this time, he didn’t argue with her about it. She sucked in a preparatory breath. Okay then. Once more into the breach, so to speak.

“You obviously don’t love her, or you wouldn’t have slept with me.” This may be her last chance to convince him, so her words came out of her in a rush. “As far as I can tell, you don’t even find her very attractive. If you do, you do a good job hiding it.”

Derek opened his mouth as if to speak. But she held up her hand and plowed ahead. “And I know you said you admire her as a businesswoman, but frankly, in the time she’s been here, I haven’t seen her work that much. She’s spent way more time at that day spa than she has doing business. And to be honest, I’m not even sure she likes you very much, either, because she’s spent more time there than she has with you.”

She had to pause to breath, but she ended up holding her breath, waiting for Derek’s backlash against her comments.

But instead of the brusque annoyance she expected—which she’d received the last time she’d criticized Kitty—he merely smiled.

The smile was thin and closemouthed, but there was definitely humor there. “Kitty hasn’t been at the day spa all this time. I sent her home three days ago.”

“Sent her home? I don’t understand.” But anxiety pinched her stomach. Had Kitty returned to New York to plan the wedding? Was it possible Raina had misread Derek all along and he had no intention of letting a little sex with his assistant get in the way of his marriage?

“You’re not still going to marry her, are you?” Disgust crept along her nerve endings as she said the words.

“Would that bother you?”

She recoiled back against the headboard. “Are you joking?”

“I am,” he said wryly. “Apparently I’m not very good at it.” But before she could feel anything other than the faintest pang of relief, he added, “I sent Kitty home because I realized you were right. I can’t possibly marry her.”

“Oh.”

“You were right all along. She’d be a horrible stepmother.”

“Wait a second. You sent her home three days ago?”

“Yes.”

“Three days ago?” Annoyance propelled her back onto her knees so she could face him on more even terms. “So all morning, I’ve been throwing myself at you trying to break up an engagement that had already ended?”