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I told him that he didn't have to call me “sir” or anything like that. I told him that we were equal. I said I didn't want to get anyone into trouble with this plan and that I hoped he had thought the whole thing through as carefully as possible.

According to him there was nothing to worry about. Even though what we were going to do might seem a bit illegal, in actual fact it was an extremely good deed I was getting involved in. Apparently there was a person who needed a break because the person had about a million brothers and sisters whose parents could barely afford to feed them all, and the person would be much better off here at Blackbrick Abbey, where there was food and a lot more room.

I told him it sounded as if whoever this guy was, he was in a pretty socioeconomically disadvantaged situation. I said that it sounded like a very good idea to help him out.

And Kevin said, “It's not a him. She's a girl, and I'm bringing her here to Blackbrick. And now that you're prepared to assist me, there's nothing to stop us from going tomorrow. Tomorrow after my chores are done.”

“A girl?”

“Yes, a girl.
The
girl. The girl I'm going to marry.”

He was only sixteen years old, which was pretty young to be talking like that, but at the time I didn't care, because I could feel a thrill rippling through me. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was obviously talking about my own gran, Granny Deedee. And it was exciting to think that I was going to meet her, too. I knew that as soon as I did, things were going to take a massively brilliant turn for the better. The much, much better.

My gran was the one who was always saying how there are things in life that we can't understand. She was the one who had this theory about there being so much in this world that we have to believe, even if we can't explain it. And I knew for sure that if I met her here, she would definitely believe me when I told her who I was, and when she did, everything was going to be a hundred percent grand.

That night Kevin showed me around my bedroom, which took about two and a half seconds, seeing as all there was in it was a bed and a chair. He picked up a limp pillow and started gently wrestling with it. He said he hoped I'd be comfortable. The chances of that looked quite slim, but still I said thanks.

I told him it had been a very confusing day. He said he'd be in the next room if I needed him but that I should try to get some sleep and maybe things would make more sense
in the morning. I said nothing was probably going to make sense ever again in my whole life.

He asked me if I'd had any upsetting experiences recently, and I said, “I guess that's what you could call them.”

He said, “I think that as soon as you have any distressing or strange thoughts, it's always the best thing to put them right out of your head.”

He asked me to remind him what my name was again, and I said it was Cosmo. And he said, “No, honestly, what's your real name?” and I said seriously, that really was it. He said, “All right, then. Good night. See you in the morning.”

Even though I was dog-tired, it was pretty hard to fall asleep. I don't reckon anyone would be able to go to sleep that easily after a) they'd just found out they were a time traveler who'd b) met their granddad when he was young, and c) were then trying to sleep on an extremely uncomfortable mattress in a very cold room.

There was a crack under the door, and I could hear Kevin still loitering outside, whistling, soft and low. And there was a whooshing noise that was possibly his feet dragging along the flagstones. I heard these clickety footsteps too, coming quite fast, closer and closer. They stopped, and a woman's crackly voice said, “Kevin! Goodness but this is a very late hour of the night for you to be up.” And he said, “I know. I've been waiting to talk to you.” And then he said, “There's something I need to tell you about.” And Crackly said,
“What could you need to be telling me that couldn't wait till the morning?” and Kevin explained all about how he'd found this strange boy on the grounds and now the strange boy was asleep in the spare servant's room.

There was a pause, and I held my breath because it was a bit hard to hear everything.

“And how in the name of God did he get onto the grounds?”

“He had a key. A key to the south gates.”

“Holy Saint Joseph, well, that's certainly a surprise,” said Crackly. “I didn't think there was a single soul who had a key to those gates anymore.”

“Neither did I,” said Kevin. “And you see, the thing is that the fellow seems a bit unhinged. He had a daft story. Didn't seem to want to leave once he'd met me. Was in what you might call a bit of a state. I thought the best thing was to get him to calm down and put him to bed.”

“Oh dear. Didn't you know that every stray boy you meet these days is madder than a brush? Gracious me, but will you ever learn? And you know you're not supposed to linger around those south gates. You know how upset everyone gets. What do you think Lord Corporamore would say? And why didn't you tell me?” she said.

“I'm telling you now, aren't I?” he replied.

The crackly voice laughed and said, “Yes, well, I suppose there's no arguing with that.”

He went on a bit more about me then, all about how I
looked like I could do with a chance to “steady” myself, and that maybe this was my place of temporary refuge. But he didn't say a single thing about me helping him to bring my young gran into Blackbrick.

It wasn't the best feeling in the world to hear them talking away to each other about how nuts I was. I had enough people in my life who thought I was the world's biggest lunatic.

I'd say anyone who's done any time traveling would probably tell you that it's more or less the best opportunity you can possibly have to reinvent yourself. But in my case, within the space of less than a single night, he obviously already thought I was a loser.

“I suppose we could put him to work to earn his keep,” said the voice, which had continued to soften under Kevin's clever manipulation. “A bit of extra help would come in fierce handy even if it's only for a few days.”

And he said yes, he supposed it would. She told Kevin that on second thought he was very kind and compassionate to have put himself out for a stranger, and how goodness knows everyone deserves to be treated with kindness no matter who they are.

I pulled the blanket over my head and I started to wonder about a few things like, for example, what my gran was going to look like when she was young. And I also wondered what Ted was going to do when the sun came up and he realized I was gone, and whether or not he'd tell my old
Granny Deedee and the middle-aged Dr. Sally. Either way, I reckoned I'd probably be in trouble for pretty much the rest of my life.

The crackly voice trailed away then and so did Kevin's, and the low glow under the door disappeared. I didn't feel like I was going to, but after a while I must have fallen asleep.

Next thing it was early in the morning and thin wisps of light were starting to weave their way around the darkness, and clatters and noises were echoing from down the corridor into my room, and I could tell that someone was making breakfast.

Even when things don't make any sense at all and you're feeling very strange, I've often noticed that there is one smell that can be quite comforting, and that is the smell of toast.

Chapter 8

IT WASN'T only the toast, though. I was already picturing myself explaining everything to my young gran, and I was predicting how me and Kevin and her were all going to have this massive three-way hug and how it was going to be a million percent brilliant. For the first time in a long time, even though it was something like six a.m., I was looking forward to getting out of bed.

Kevin legged it into the room a few minutes later, saying good morning and pulling the thin curtains along their squeaky rails. “Would you like to come along with me while I do my morning chores?” he said.

I said, “Are you sure you really want to hang out with someone as unhinged as me?”

“I don't mind, as long as you keep up, because I move reasonably fast.”

I told him I'd already noticed.

So next thing we were back in the kitchen and I was getting introduced to this woman, and she opened her mouth and the crackly voice came out.

“Welcome to Blackbrick,” she said. “I'm Mrs. Kelly.”

She also said that she'd agreed not to ask any more questions about me, even though creeping into someone's estate late at night is “fierce suspicious,” and not exactly the way to do things. But as long as I was willing to do a few jobs around the place, she wasn't going to pry. Times were tough, she said, but she seemed to be pretty cheerful all the same.

“We're doing our best to get on with things, aren't we, Kevin? We're not griping about anything, sure we're not, Kevin, much and all as the temptation to complain sometimes grabs hold, God forgive me.”

She was old, maybe forty. And she was big and her hands were pink and she had a very clean apron on. And when she sighed, the apron rose on her chest like a huge white wave.

“Now come on in and sit down for a bit.”

She kept on looking at me quite carefully, like she was expecting me to make some wrong or possibly dangerous move, but she was very polite, and she said how she had to tell me the truth, which was that it was a good slice of luck to have another strong boy on the premises, even if it was only for a short stay. She said Blackbrick was once well known for taking very good care of its visitors, and that herself and Kevin would do their best to keep that reputation going even though it was going to be difficult, seeing how there were no other servants there anymore.

“If there's anything you need, all you have to do is ask, she said.”

“Grand, no problem, thanks a lot.”

The first thing Kevin had to do that morning was sweep a whole load of floors. He said that Mrs. Kelly was right about it being handy to have a bit of help for a change. He told me that there used to be more than twenty-five servants at Blackbrick: maids and stable boys and a cook and a butler and farriers and suchlike. Now there was only him and Mrs. Kelly, rattling around having to do all sorts of jobs they'd never have done in the old days. “The Emergency” was on, and not only had a load of the men gone off to fight in the war, but also Lord Corporamore had used the whole situation as an excuse to fire a load more because he was broke.