Back to the Drawing Board (5 page)

I settled myself on the couch, knowing I had to stay here tonight. I had to stay away from touching any part of her, or who knew how long my resolve would hold out? I couldn’t wake up with regrets tomorrow. The door to the bathroom swung open, and I fought my mouth not to drop open. She’d lost her clothes and was wearing the hotel robe. It conjured up all sorts of images in my head.

She walked past me and to the mini-bar set up in the corner. She grabbed two tumblers and filled them both with something I didn’t see and walked back to me. “Julia,” I warned.

“Nightcap,” she said, handing me the glass. She clinked hers with mine just like she’d done at the bar and then downed it before I could even touch the glass to my lips. This was a bad idea. A really,
really
bad idea.

I had no idea how many more she handed me, but I had the feeling she was going to be sick. Before I could register what was happening, she climbed onto my lap and nuzzled her face into my neck. “Carter,” she murmured. “Take it away. Just for one night.”

I didn’t know what she was talking about and my head was spinning with too much alcohol and the fact that she was sitting on my lap. Somewhere in my head I know I shouldn’t do this, but when she tipped her face up to mine and pressed her soft lips to mine, I knew I was in deep shit.

An ungodly noise reverberated in my head, and I swung my hand out of the covers to try to stop it. Finally connecting with the culprit, I groaned. My head was pounding, and I knew exactly why. Drinking with Julia last night came flooding back to me. I had to get up, that much I knew. I had a plane to catch this morning. Just when my body was settling back into sleep, I felt a shift in the bed and then something warm touched my leg under the covers. My eyes flew open, my heart pounding. It was still dark, but the second my eyes settled on the figure next to me, cold, heavy regret dropped into my stomach like lead.

Her eyes were still closed; her dark hair fanned behind her on the pillow. She looked so innocent and sweet with her hand under her cheek. My eyes scanned the skin I could see. Her shoulder was bare, as was the calf and subsequent thigh I could see sticking out of the covers.
Julia is in my bed.
Julia Gibbons was in my bed, and it looked like she wasn’t wearing any clothes. How in the
hell
had that happened? I tore my gaze from hers and lifted the covers, noticing that I, too, wasn’t clothed and was sporting quite a morning
predicament
. I closed my eyes, willing my brain to remember. Why was
I
in the bed and not on the couch?

My mind raced a million miles an hour, my body frozen in fear. I watched her, simultaneously wishing that she would wake up and tell me what happened and also stay asleep so I could figure out what I was going to do now. I thought back to what I remembered from last night. I’d brought her back to my hotel room, and she’d gotten us more drinks from the mini bar. I’d known I needed to stop, but she’d been persistent.
Very
persistent. I remembered thinking that she was going to sleep in my bed while I took the couch, but somehow here I was, lying next to her in this large bed, her body close to mine.

I couldn’t remember. Not a thing. I had to fix this. I knew this was going to be the end of me. I could kiss goodbye the opportunity of a lifetime. Whether I did or didn’t cross the line, we were lying in bed together, sans clothes.
You’re a moron, Carter
, I chastised myself.
This is what you get for even entertaining spending time with her last night. You should’ve gotten up and walked away.
Finally, I decided that the best thing was for me to get out of the bed as quietly as I could and leave Julia a note that I had to catch a flight and didn’t want to wake her. I slid my body out of the bed, my eyes trained on her sleeping form.
Please stay asleep
.

I breathed out as I reached the bathroom without her moving. Closing the door softly, I flicked the light on and stared at myself in the large mirror. Bloodshot eyes looked back at me, a reminder that I should’ve never gone that far the night before. My head pounded, and I knew the flight back was going to be brutal. My eyes scanned my body for any signs of what might’ve happened with us. I examined my skin, turning back and forth in the mirror. No marks or signs of having done anything beyond just sleeping.
I can’t believe that if I did sleep with her, I can’t remember it.
Shaking my head at the thought, I turned away from the mirror, disgusted with myself. This wasn’t me. I didn’t do this kind of thing, e
specially
not with the woman who could essentially become my boss.

As quietly as I could, I packed my toiletry bag and made my way back to the door. Somehow, I had to get to my suitcase without waking her. I knew I was behaving like a coward; the man in me told me I should wake her up and make sure she got home safely and that she was okay. But the scared holy-shit-I-just-shot-my-chances-to-hell part of me just wanted to run as far as I could away from everything.

I laid my head on the cool wood of the bathroom door, willing myself to open it and do what I needed to do. Finally forcing my hand to open the door, I turned the handle and cracked it open, my stomach in knots. This was the ultimate walk of shame. I stepped out, my eyes immediately moving across the room to make sure she was still asleep. She was. I strode for the pad of paper and pen on the mini-bar and scribbled her a pitiful excuse of a note.
Had an early flight to catch. Sorry. ~Carter.
I looked back at her one more time, taking note of the way her dark hair looked against the white pillowcase and how the rays of sun just starting to peek through the curtains highlighted her face.
Go, Carter. Before you have even more of an issue
. This wasn’t my forte; I didn’t want to be this guy. But I felt like I didn’t have a choice. It was either this or lose everything. Hell, I might’ve lost everything already.

The second the door clicked shut behind me, I breathed out in relief. Scrubbing my hand over my face, I checked my phone for the time. I had the incredible urge to call Hayden and beg him to help me through this. We had been best friends since I started college, and he was so much more suave than me with the ladies. Calling him would mean me having to admit to him that I was just the biggest asshole jerk ever. It was bad enough I already knew that; I didn’t need his confirmation of it. What if she told her dad that we had sex? What if we didn’t? But what if we
did?

I hit the elevator button a little too hard, sending up a silent thank you when it opened immediately. Leaning my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes and breathed out. I couldn’t believe I’d just done that. I’d left a stunning woman, a woman that could be overseeing me, naked in my bed.
My bed
.
In a hotel
. I’d
left
without knowing what happened between us. I’d left without knowing if she was okay. I was the worst possible person in the world.

Sliding my hotel key across the counter, I met the weary eyes of the hotel employee. “I’m checking out, but I still have a—-” God, what was Julia? “—-guest, in my room. I’d like to request a late check out.”

“That’ll be fine, sir. I’ll make note of it.”

“Great. Thanks. Can you charge some coffee, toast, and orange juice to my account and have them sent up in the next hour?”

James eyed me, and then clicked a few buttons. “Got it. Thank you for your business, Mr. McIntyre. We hope you will visit Denver again soon.”

Me too
, I thought, smiling politely and darting out of the automatic doors.
But I have a feeling I put a nail in that coffin already.
I needed to get home and talk to my dad. I had no idea where to go from here.

JULIA’S LONG HAIR CASCADED OVER
my face as I gripped her slim hips with my fingers. I fought against the sensation to close my eyes because I had to keep looking at her. As she slid herself up and down on top of me, I couldn’t stop the groan from escaping my mouth. Her smile quirked up one side of her lip, and I watched as my body made her body quiver with need, with anticipation. Neither of us said a word, our soft groans and heavy breathing all the sound we needed to know how good this felt, how right. She threw her head back, breaking our eye contact as we sped up, both of us chasing a release. “Carter . . .” My name fell from her lips like a prayer. I reached between us, needing to touch her like I needed my next breath . . .

I felt a jerking sensation and my eyes flew open. My chest heaved as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. Looking around, I realized the plane had just hit the runway. People were looking out the windows as we careened towards the terminal. I’d been dreaming. I looked down to make sure I wasn’t going to give the guy next to me an eyeful, and then I rested my head back onto the seat. I’d been dreaming of Julia riding me. Had that really happened? Was that my brain’s way of telling me that we
had
slept together? God. I could almost feel her soft skin under my fingertips; the sensation of being inside of her so real I almost groaned out loud.

Desperate to turn off the feelings I knew I shouldn’t have for a girl I just met, I powered my phone back on.
Home
. I was so glad to be here because I needed some guidance. Big time. Even though for me this wasn’t where I grew up, it was where my parents lived, and that was enough.

My phone began buzzing just as the plane slowed and came to a stop at the gate. A text from my mom, another from Hayden, and a missed call from a number I didn’t recognize. I clicked on the text icon and read my mom’s message telling me they couldn’t wait to see me. Hayden’s text asked me how the interview went and told me he would arrive at Sanibel later this afternoon and couldn’t wait to catch up.

People around me stood up, grabbed their overhead carry-on items and waited for the plane to start disembarking. Knowing I’d be there for at least a few more minutes before anyone started moving, I chose to stay in my seat. I clicked on the voicemail icon and put the phone to my ear.

“Carter.” The second I heard my name come across the speaker, I closed my eyes as the rise and fall of her voice surrounded me. The mystery number was Julia. “I’m sorry. I got your number from your application. It’s Julia. I’m sorry. . . . about everything. I shouldn’t . . . I couldn’t . . .” she paused, and I willed her voice to keep going so I could listen to it forever. “I don’t expect you to call me back, but I want you to. I know it’s complicated. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. And I might be your boss . . . well kind of. I’m rambling. I know you’re flying home. I just . . . I like you, Carter. I don’t normally act like I did last night. I don’t want you to think that’s the kind of girl I am. I . . . I’m sorry. I put you in a terrible position. Thanks for being such a gentleman.” With that, the voicemail ended. No goodbye, nothing.

I was a
gentleman
? The dream or vision or whatever you want to call it didn’t portray me as a gentleman. If we did what I think we did, then I not only had too much to drink and made a rash decision with a beautiful girl, but I took advantage of the fact that she also had too much to drink. Let’s not forget leaving her sleeping in a hotel room, too. I sighed, thinking of my dad. He was an alcoholic, recovering but always considered to be one. He would be disappointed in my choice to drink so much I couldn’t even remember what I’d done.