Back to You (17 page)

“Why don’t you ask her?” suggests Jason.

“Of course, how rude of me!” exclaims Graham, turning to me with a voice as enchanting as the siren’s song. “I forgot my manners. We haven’t yet introduced ourselves. It’s just that I feel as if I already know you, even if we’ve never met face to face. And sometimes I forget myself.”

Gideon raises his eye to the ceiling. He’s obviously been witness to Graham’s enthusiasm for far too long.

I feel my ears pulsating, as if a hammer is beating away in them, and I take a deep breath. Despite his courteous manners, I doubt if Graham was really expecting a reply. “Nothing’s changed,” I whisper.

“See, Jason? What did I tell you? Aren’t you pleased that what you desired for so long is in your possession again? Things are back to how they were. Or almost.” Graham looks at me again. “Donn has told me about you in a rather peculiar manner.”

Jason stiffens. He seems irritated, tired of these preliminaries. Debra’s composed, impenetrable stare goes back and forth between Donn and me without settling for more than half a second. She can’t manage to tear her eyes from my face for much longer than I can manage to ignore hers.

“Did he say I solve less problems than I create?” I stammer, my voice broken with fear.

Graham fixes me with his bright red eyes. It is impossible for me to look elsewhere. They are hypnotic, foreboding.

“No,” he answers, shaking his head. “He said his talent developed thanks to you. And that it only works with you. For now, at least. But, unfortunately, he has to respect certain limits.”

It’s not easy to follow his wandering line of thought. I make an effort to understand, concentrating on the meaning of each individual word.

“As you know, Donn can read your thoughts,” he continues. “But he needs physical contact, or at least to be very near you to listen in. To hear them from afar… well, that would be a godsend,” he mutters to himself. “But he can’t hear everything your mind thinks, and not all the time either. Sometimes, it is as if you raise a barrier of light which instantly blocks out his power.”

“By ‘barrier of light’ do you mean to say that I have a defect or something like that?” I ask Graham, trying to ignore the apprehension sweeping through my body. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“No,” he bursts out laughing. “On the contrary. It’s a pro not a con. All humans have a radiant aura around their fragile bodies, a sort of shield. Your light, compared to that of others, is stronger and creates a kind of unique protective barrier which blinds him.”

I raise my brows inquisitively and stare at him speechless. Is he messing with me or is he really singing my praises?

“Don’t get too big-headed,” Gideon warns me sourly. “It doesn’t take much to impress Graham, I guarantee you that.” “But anyway, one thing in particular arouses my curiosity.” Graham looks at me inquiringly. “It fascinates me that you are the only exception for Donn. And I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me feel your touch, to understand if you could be an exception for me too. May I?”

He is trying to show me a friendly face, but his bizarre, fragile features give me the creeps. I must seem a little confused, because Jason turns to me to explain in a low voice.

“Graham feels the bonds, the emotions, between people.”

I immediately recall Vuk’s words, spoken earlier today, outside the reading room.

“They must have heard about the pact and my deep bond, my great friendship, with Stella.”

Maybe he meant that Graham had spoken to Jack about my deep bond with Vuk. But I have no idea how the news could have gotten to Adam and his mysterious girlfriend.

I look at Donn, terrified at the idea of letting this man, this thing, touch me, yet I feel strangely attracted to the idea of running my fingers along his translucent skin to see what it feels like.

Before Jason manages to react, Donn throws me a reassuring smile and an encouraging nod. I take a step closer to Graham, sitting in his armchair, and slowly hold my hand out. Suspended in the air, I see how much it is shaking. Graham reaches out, and I keep feeling the odd and frightening desire to touch his skin, to understand if it is as soft as Jason’s and Donn’s, or if it is as powdery as Debra’s seems.

He touches me lightly with his ghostly-white skin. It feels chalky and is far colder than I expected. It is firm but soft at the same time. It feels like I am holding in my hand a fragile thing made of clay.

Graham is concentrating. The faith in his eyes gives way to doubt; it then turns into incredulity. He slowly shakes his head and his normal kindly expression returns as he lets my hand slip away.

My eyes automatically turn to Donn, bursting with questions. He can read the chaos in the brown of my irises. But his expression remains impenetrable, the mask not revealing even a trace of emotion.

“Marvelous!” Graham exclaims. His eyes reveal far more self-confidence than his words. “Truly amazing! How wonderful to see what I saw. The light blinded my eyes! That has never happened before. What a thrilling and unique experience! I see her potential, Donn. I see a sea of opportunities!”

At the sound of Donn’s name being pronounced, an almost imperceptible smirk appears on Debra’s lips, but she never takes her eyes off me. I glance at Donn who, despite his impenetrable mask, seems somewhat pleased with himself.

Jason looks at me out of the corners of his eyes. I struggle to keep my breathing regular when our eyes meet. I know his face well enough to realize that, behind the façade, he is worried about something. The deal.

“I was wondering if she is immune to my powers,” continues Graham enquiringly. “Of course, her reaction aboveground, when she was by Vuk’s side, leaves no room for doubt. That feeling of being tortured, for example, should have affected her, too. Just wondering.”

Things start to make more sense. That is why Vuk was writhing in agony in the second floor corridor. That is why Donn was looking at me in that perplexed, relieved way. The crowd had come to the wrong conclusion. It was Graham, from the tower under the library courtyard, causing Vuk’s pain. What he refers to as torture.

Donn had nothing to do with it. On the contrary, he had shielded me and his roar of refusal had been a clear sign that he disapproved of Graham’s sadism.

“And now, what am I to do with you?” he sighs, looking at us. But he obviously has a very clear idea. “We got off on the wrong foot, that is obvious. I’m sorry you were hounded by that pack of wolves, Stella. But I wasn’t sure I could trust you. But I was wrong about you. This pleasant little chat has helped me understand that the deal can be made. Under certain conditions, of course. Donn, you explain, please. I’m extraordinarily curious to find out what the girl decides.”

He turns to Donn, his voice as soft and fragile as his skin. A wary Jason stiffens, his lip curls almost imperceptibly. This is the part he was waiting for.

I begin to tremble, despite the fact that Donn seems relaxed. I concentrate on the luminous turquoise of his eyes.

“What exactly are your conditions?” I ask.

“Yeah, that’s what I’d like to know,” cuts in Jason, his tone as cutting as the cufflinks on Donn shirt.

I note a ray of hope in his smile that they could be tolerable, but I remain wary.

“Ok,” he murmurs patiently. “I’ll get straight to the point.”

He looks at me again, nothing escapes his scrutinizing eyes that shine like diamonds in the sun. “Stella, I don’t like you being exposed to unnecessary risks. You have to let me guarantee your safety. There are two conditions. The last clause is more of a suggestion than a request.”

“I’m listening.”

“Allow me to act as your guarantor. This is not the first condition. It’s the clause implied in the deal. This is the first condition. You cannot enter New Hampshire, the territory of the wolves.”

That is probably where Vuk lives with his brother.

“The second… well, it regards Jason.” He throws him a dry look then turns back to me.

“I’m afraid that he cannot be trusted, he is still too volatile and inexperienced. He can lose control and turn dangerous at any given moment. At least for now, Stella. You risk getting hurt if you see him more than necessary,” he warns me cautiously.

His voice is both irate and tender at the same time.

“I doubt it,” I shrug.

“If he loses his self-control for even just a second, like at the party, and if you are too close, it would be impossible to repair the damage.”

“No, it was my fault at the party,” I reassure him. “I cut my finger.”

“Oh, right, sorry, Stella. You should have pressed down harder on the wound, shove the blood back inside your finger,” he says severely.

“I could have avoided cutting myself,” I suggest. “Just my usual clumsy self.”

“And for that you deserved to die? Do you really think Jason is still the same kid you met four years ago? Do you honestly not see that something is wrong with him? Don’t blame yourself, Stella.” His voice still velvety smooth.

I look at Jason, confusion in my eyes. Then I turn back to the turquoise eyes.

“It takes some training to learn to control your instincts. But it’s hard for him. The influence of the red moon, his hybrid nature, the need to hunt often … all these things make him unstable and he risks causing serious damage. If you were able to reason logically for a moment, you’d understand that he is too perilous. Stella, you have to understand one thing. Your safety means
everything
to me.”

“That’s not true.”

“What do you mean, it’s not true?” roars Donn. “That’s what I feel!” His eyes are wide, sincere, but I don’t trust him.

“It’s not the
whole
truth!”

“Your scent could distract Jason. His thirst could return and make him lose control.”

“Jason would never hurt me.”

“Not intentionally. But wolves have no self-control and Jason inevitably falls into this category, even if he’s only a half-blood. He would have talked to you about it this evening at Jeff’s house. Stella, Jason is not merely a young vampire. His blood is … impure.”

My mouth opens to speak, but he silences me.

“Yes, Jason is half vampire, but also part wolf influenced by the orbiting of the red moon. At the ceremony, Jack will receive the punishment he deserves.”

My palm wipes my brow, I think for a few moments.

“He broke the fundamental rule,” I mumble to myself. “Feeding in public. That was all it took to risk the secret being revealed, their existence being exposed. Jason…”

Graham and Gideon wait expectantly. A tortured Donn averts his eyes as silent tears streak my cheeks. He can’t bear to see me cry and not be able to do anything about it, but another person’s arm is wrapped tightly around my waist.

With his free hand, his fingers velvety smooth, Jason strokes my cheek and brings his lips to my forehead. I feel them, cold and hard, for a slight instant. Then he draws his face back, his burning eyes looking searchingly into mine. I turn to look at him, my eyes wide with bewilderment. I examine his impatiently.

Donn nods at my disjointed reflection, capturing me with the devastating power of his hypnotic gaze. The terrifying fear that looms at the edge of my conscience is stopped in its tracks by his attentive control over my emotions.

I cross my arms, hugging my body tight, to stop myself from crumbling. Rationally, I know that my lungs are still intact, but I feel myself suffocating. My head spins, it won’t stop thudding, as if my effort to breathe in oxygen was in vain. My heart must be beating, but I can’t feel it. Despite all this, I turn around again.

I see Jason by my side and know that he hasn’t let go of me for an instant. I scrutinize his angelic face, and nothing else. The change in him matters.

“I’ll explain the dynamics and what has happened in the summary before the banquet,” Donn promises, but something tells me he would prefer not to. Probably because he knows Jack will be there. At the realization that I will find out the whole truth, I suddenly become more alert.

“Banquet?” I ask, distraught. I try to maintain a calm edge to my voice. The word recalls to my mind the earlier conversation. He mentioned this part of the ceremony, and each time I hear it, I get shivers down my spine.

“Yes, my dear,” replies Debra kindly. “You can come. If you like.”

Donn snaps his head round, his piercing stare boring into Debra.

“As a dinner guest, obviously. If she wants to help,” Debra takes a defensive stance.

Donn shakes his head, narrows his eyes at her tellingly, and then turns to me with a more relaxed expression. I say nothing and he studies my face to make sure I’m paying attention.

“So you will understand,” he continues cautiously, “that, at least in the beginning, you can never ever see Jason unless he has obtained Aaron’s approval. Aaron is willing to vouch for him. This means that, as his legal guardian, he will have to answer to any contravention.”

“Why does the harshest restriction on me have to do with me seeing Jason?” I ask, my eyes swollen with tears. I try to swallow them back.

“Don’t worry, Stella,” Donn reassures me. “I know you care for him. I would never do anything that goes against your will. But Jason is a half-blood vampire. He’s not handling it well. Just two days ago, he was still a pup. The blood running in your veins creates a kind of conflict within him, making him unpredictable. Not enough time has passed since his transformation. I hope you understand that, as your guarantor, I cannot allow you to be exposed in this way, putting your life on the line. This is my second and last condition.”

Donn’s eyes and mine remain locked. He is on the other side of the desk, far away but attentive.

“You know you’re wrong, don’t you?” he says quietly.

“About what?” I whisper.

“I can feel what you’re feeling right now, and I’m telling you that you’re wrong.” A tender smile grows on his face.

“No.”

“I’m sure you’re worth it,” Donn concludes, before changing the subject, bringing the conversation back around to the deal. “Stella, you are requested to avoid the East Coast, especially the area of Cape Cod, and not to enter Vermont, the territory of the cougars.”