Bad Boy: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) (23 page)

W
hy the fuck
did you need Nicky?

F
uck
.

This is exactly why I need to stay the fuck away from her.

I
still don’t understand
what happened. I park my car under the light and look up at my steps. I sit there for a moment. It’s a moment too long. I should get inside. I’m quick like I always am, and I walk straight upstairs. It’s not till the keys fall into the glass bowl on the end table that I realize my hand is shaking.

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. It happens a lot. I thought it would stop eventually. It’s a reaction from the adrenaline and endorphins wearing off. It’s not shock, but it’s not okay, either. I see it as a weakness and I hate it.

I sink into the sofa and try to calm myself down. I can do this. I
have
to do this. Other women are strong enough. Fuck, if a man can do it, so can I. Men use brute strength, while women use leverage, and brains. I truly believe that. But damn, this is fucking hard. It’s so goddamned hard. I thought police academy was rough. And it was. But real-life situations are scary as fuck.

Hand-to-hand combat is its own kind of beast. It’s terrifying at times. Women are worse than men. Way worse. Men sometimes only go a blow or two. They wanna prove a point. I’ve seen them tear each other to pieces in front of me. Even the bang of my gun going off didn’t pull them off each other. But that's rare.

Women are the opposite. When they go at it, they’re going for damage. They want blood. Humiliation. They want to scar their opponent and ruin them. They go for the face and eyes, their hair. Anywhere visible. I’ve pulled men apart on my own before. Men stronger than me. But it's nothing like pulling women apart. They go for damage and they don't give a fuck who goes down with them.

I swallow thickly, trying to just calm down. It only takes a moment to think back to when things were easier. I remember why I’m doing this. Why it’s worth it to continue.

I remember playing with my sister in the front yard with chalk. Her graduation from nursing school. Talking to her on the phone. I remember the last time I heard her voice. I hear the conversation echo in my head.

“You’re such a dork, Melissa. You need to go have some fun,” I say to her.

“I’m seriously fine at home, you go ahead without me.”

“You are truly missing out. Like you have no idea.” I can’t believe she’d hold herself back again; she's gotta learn to live a little. “There’s nothing wrong with going clubbing. You gotta get some from time to time.”

“Oh my God, don’t talk like that!” she admonishes me with a hushed tone.

“Why?” I ask.

“‘Cause you sound like a slut!” I can hear the humor in her voice.

“So?” We both laugh at my joke. “You just need to loosen up is all I’m saying.”

“Well I’m not like you, Tonya.” I can hear a little disappointment in her voice and I hate it. “I don’t have that confidence.” I want to tell her she should. I want to tell her she’s beautiful and deserving of happiness and that includes meeting up with me to go out for drinks. But I don’t want to upset her. I don’t want to be pushy. So I don’t say anything at all.

And because of that, I missed out on one more night that I could’ve had with her.

She really was a prude and an ‘inside person’ as she used to say. She didn’t read the same smutty books as me or enjoy the dirty jokes I liked. But she didn’t hold it against me, either. She never judged me. I’m guilty of judging her, though. I assumed she’d meet a doctor and make lots of babies and drive a minivan in just a few years. I teased her all the time about it. To her, it was a dream. To me, it’s a fucking nightmare.

I shake my hands out and wipe away the stray tears as I walk to the fridge. I grab the opened bottle of wine from the bottom shelf, a cabernet. I take a glass from the cabinet above the sink and ignore the dishes. They can wait. I just need to settle in a bit first.

I close my eyes and watch the scene from the alley play out again. I did everything right, flashed my badge, said hands up. First guy reaches, I shoot him in the hand. Second guy comes at me, but I’m too slow. I play the scene over while I fill the glass about halfway. Both hands were on the gun. There was nothing I could do with the other one coming after me. I needed a hand free.

I replay it over and over, trying to come up with a better strategy. But I don’t think there was one. I definitely did right by going for the armed one first. Maybe if I'd used the butt of the gun to smash in the second fucker's nose, that may have been more effective. I rewind a bit in my mind. I should’ve turned sooner, before I'd gone so far down the alley. Fuck me, I just shouldn’t have gone down there in the first place. That was fucking stupid.

Thomas is why my head is all fucked up. He does something to me. He makes me stupid, that’s his fucking superpower. He blinds me from all this shit that I’ve trained myself to do. He makes me feel...safe, in a weird way. I feel unstoppable around him. That’s not a good thing. Maybe it’s because he gives me hope. When I think about the end to all this shit, when I think about having some sort of closure, I see him there. I can see him handing it to me. Telling me Petrov’s dead. That I don’t have to face my demons, because he’s already killed them for me. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with the failure of not finding Petrov. Maybe I’ve made it all up.

I don’t know, I’m not a fucking shrink.

I tip the glass back and drain it. Mmm, I love the taste. I set the glass down on the counter and strip as I make my way to my bedroom. Most of my things are still in boxes. I need to make time to put that shit away. I toss the clothes into the hamper. At least that’s not overflowing. Score one for me.

My feet patter against the tiled floor as I turn the water on to fucking-scorching, just how I like it. I look at my face in the mirror as the water heats and steam starts to fill the stall.

I look back at a stranger.

This isn’t who I used to be.

I look… tired. That’s exactly how I look. And I am, I’m so damn tired. I’m lonely and angry. And fucking sad and miserable.

The need for justice. The need for vengeance. They’ve taken over a part of me that I miss. But they are needs. I need to know if Petrov is dead. If he’s not, I won’t stop. I hate that I’ve come to the end of this lead, all because Thomas won’t give me an inch.

Suddenly, I wish I had more on his ass. I want something to make him talk. I need him to tell me. I could use what happened today. But that’d be so fucking wrong. I feel like a bitch for even thinking it. Maybe this anger that’s driving me, this desire to fuck him over until I get what I need, maybe that’s what fuels Harrison every fucking day.

The realization snaps me out of my thoughts. No, I can’t do that. I shouldn’t want that.

But I know that Thomas knows. He could tell me where Petrov is, or if he’s dead. I know he can.

I step into the shower deciding I need to push him just a bit more. After all, I’ve given him something. I could have called it in, the scene today. I
should
have called it in.

But he didn’t have to do it. He didn’t have to help me.

Oh fuck, I’m such a bitch. I never even thanked him.

I let the hot water hit my skin and fucking hate the obsession that’s taken me over. Who am I? I shake my head and try to shake off all these unwanted feelings, all these horrible thoughts. I don’t like the person I’ve become. I just want it all to stop.

If only he’d help me.

I
look
out of the peephole and curse under my breath. This broad has a fucking death wish. I stand in front of the closed door and listen as the loud knock echoes in my apartment. Fucking hell. She just won’t let it be.

This is what I get for wanting to find out more about this broad. Vince already bitched at me for involving myself. He couldn’t hold it against me though. Not when I fed him a little lie about how she was shaken up from how they'd roughed her up.

I really think she was a bit messed up from it. But I may have exaggerated some to get myself off the hook.

I decided I was done with this that night, done with her. I should threaten a restraining order. I could do it, too. I’ve told her I don’t want to talk.

And now she’s standing outside my door.

“I know you’re home, Thomas,” she yells from the other side. “I just wanna talk.” I roll my eyes. No shit. That’s all this broad wants from me. ‘
Cause she’s a cop.

I need to send her away. I need to do it now.

I swing the door open and it stops her fist in the air. I look at her clenched hand pointedly until she lowers it and then I stare at her. I keep my face impassive. None of that bullshit I gave into before. This needs to end.

“You wanna talk, go ahead and talk,” I tell her in a no-nonsense tone.

She opens her mouth and then closes it. She clears her throat and looks to the ground before looking back up at me. “Thank you. I just wanted to say thank you.”

I stare at her, not quite understanding. I’m surprised by her sweetness. It catches me off guard. Which isn’t a good thing.

“For helping me with those guys.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I never thanked you for stepping in. It would’ve really sucked if you hadn’t.”
It would have sucked.
That’s putting it mildly.

I should just stare. I shouldn’t respond. She’d get the message loud and clear, but I can’t do that. I look past her and give a curt nod as I say, “No problem.”

She noticeably swallows and asks, “May I come in?”

“No.” It’s easy shutting that down. The only reason I’d bring her in here is to fuck her. And that’s not going to happen. My dick doesn’t like that answer and starts hardening in my pants. I clench my jaw, trying to get it to go down. I’m only in a pair of sweats. She’s gonna see how fucking hard I am for her. Fuck it, I still can’t have her. Doesn’t fucking matter if she knows I want her or not.

I need to push her away.

“You’re in the wrong part of town, Tonya,” I say, keeping my eyes on her with my voice low.

A smile spreads slowly across her face, making her look gorgeous as fuck. She cocks a brow and tries to suppress the laugh that I can practically hear escaping from those full lips of hers. “You’re kidding, right?” She’s not really asking though, and she has a point. I’m a scary fucker, but it’s not like I live in the rough part of town.

“You know what I mean.” She should know not to fuck with me. Maybe I’ve been too easy on her. I’ve given her this idea that I won’t hurt her, and I’m her pal. But I’m not her buddy. She should be fucking careful around me. She should be scared of me.

She rolls her eyes at my words and it’s the last straw.

“You think you’re such a bad ass bitch, don’t you?” I walk into her space, pushing her farther out into the hallway.

She seems taken aback by my tone, and it takes a moment for her to square her shoulders. I can see her changing before my eyes. Like she just realized who I am, and that she’s a cop. She may think she doesn’t have to take any shit from me, but I’m about to prove her wrong.

“You think you can play this good girl act with me, but I know who you really are.”

She looks confused and then pissed. “I never said I was a good girl, and I’m not putting on an act.” She speaks through clenched teeth with her hands balled at her side. It really pisses her off when I call her that. That’s good to know. I like pissing her off and getting her riled up.

“So what? You’re a bad girl then? Just like I said, you think you’re a bad ass. You’re not.”

She huffs a laugh and rolls her eyes. She literally doesn’t give a shit. I need to instill fear into this broad. I’ve given her too much length on her leash.

I look her in her eyes and lower my voice. “I could fuck you raw in the front of this building, and no one would stop me. No one would say shit to me.”

Her lips part, and her eyes soften with lust at my words. Fuck me, that’s so fucking hot. That’s not at all the reaction I expected. I anticipated disgust. I would think she’d pull out the cop card. But she doesn’t.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I ask as I grip her hips and turn her around to pin her to the wall next to my open door. “'Cause you’re such a bad girl.” I lower my lips to her neck and whisper in her ear. My lips barely touch her. “You’d love it so fucking much, you’d cum on my dick as I fucked your greedy cunt however I wanted.”

I shove her back against the wall. I’m not gentle, but only because I can see how much she likes it rough. I grab her ass with both hands and hold her against the wall with my hips. My hard dick pushes against her thigh, digging into her. I can see the moment she realizes she’s about to get fucked. Her eyes widen and she pushes her hands against my chest. I pull back slightly, but my hands and hips keep her in place.

My heart beats wildly in my chest. My blood’s laced with desire and races with a primal need to fuck her against the wall. She’d fucking love it. We both want it.

I lean forward and barely hear her say, “Ssst.” She knows she should say it, but she hasn’t yet. She likes me pushing her boundaries.

“Stop?” I ask with a lopsided grin. “Is that what you were gonna say?” She presses her lips together and turns her head to the side, refusing to look at me and refusing to answer. I heard it on the tip of her tongue. But she doesn’t want this to stop. She wants to be impaled on my dick.

“You'd better fucking say it, Tonya.” Her eyes whip up to mine with a flash of anger. She doesn’t like me telling her what to do. Good. It’s going to be fun getting her so worked up. I love it already.

I wrap my hand around her throat and give her a gentle squeeze. My left hand grabs hold of her thigh and she spreads her legs for me. I cup her pussy and rock my palm against her clit. I can feel how hot and wet she is. Her eyes go half-lidded, and her lips part with a small moan of pleasure. It’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I bend my head down and hesitate just a second before taking her bottom lip in between my teeth.

This is dangerous. At first it felt like a game. But the more I push, the more she gives me. I’m already addicted, and I haven’t even had a taste of her yet. I should stop this before it begins, but I can’t. I want her, and now that I know how much she wants me, I’m taking her.

I’m going to have to fuck this broad out of my system. Just once. Just once, so I can satisfy this beast clawing at me to fuck her into submission.

I lower my lips to the crook of her neck and bite down hard enough so she knows I won’t be gentle. She rocks her hips and rubs her hot pussy against my dick. Fuck, yes. I growl into her ear, “Get your ass inside.”

I pull back and stare into her green eyes. They spark with a challenge. “Thought you said you could fuck me out here.” My dick jumps in my pants.

“Bad girl.” I back away so I’m not touching her. “Get inside.” I see the defiance in her eyes. She fucking loves this. She’s coming alive with my touch, and I love that I can do this to her. She bites down on her lip and looks to the stairs. For a moment, one split second, I think she’s going to leave, but then her cute ass starts walking inside, and I know I’ve got her.

After I close and lock her door, I grip her waist and lead her to the bedroom. I’m not wasting any time. I don’t want to give either of us a second to think and realize what a fucking disaster this is.

I kick the door shut behind me and give her another command. “Strip.” I fucking love how she turns on her heels and looks back at me like she’s debating on giving me a hard time.

“You have this coming. For teasing me like that. You better take them off before I rip them off of you.” Her mouth parts and the moan I was fantasizing about hearing finally hits my ears. “I don't give a fuck if you have to walk back home naked.” Yes. Yes I really fucking do give a shit, but that gets her ass moving to obey.

Her hands slowly remove her jeans, and then her top. She reaches around behind her to remove her bra, but I can’t wait any longer.

I pick her ass up, a cheek in each hand and let my knees hit the edge of the mattress. She’s quick to wrap her legs around mine. Her heels dig into my ass as my lips crush hers. I fall onto my bed with her beneath me and push down my sweats. My cock smacks against her clit as it bounces out, and the force of it makes her break our kiss. She moans into the hot air and it fuels me to grip my dick in my hand and smack it against her swollen nub. I want to hear that sound again and again. Her back arches and her head digs into the mattress. I move my cock through her folds from her entrance to her clit, making sure to watch her body for her reaction. She fucking loves this. She’s loving what I’m doing to her.

She still isn’t looking at me though, and I don’t like that. I want her eyes on me as I sink deep into her heat. I line my cock up and then grip her chin in my hand. She looks back at me with half-lidded eyes. She’s already so close. My bad girl is dying to be fucked.

I hold her gaze as I slowly push into her tight cunt. Fuck, she feels so fucking good. My thick cock stretches her walls as I slowly thrust deep inside her. Her eyes widen and her lips form a perfect “o”. I’d smirk at her if I could, but I can’t. I’m lost in how fucking good she feels.

I rock into her once, twice, and then a third time, keeping my pace slow and steady with short, shallow strokes letting her adjust to my size and then I thrust into her hard enough that the bed slams against the wall. She screams out and I capture her screams of pleasure with my kiss. My fingertips dig into her hips, holding her in place as I continue mercilessly fucking her into the mattress. The bed groans and creaks as I pound into her pussy with a relentless pace.

Her thighs tighten around my hips as she bites down on her lip to keep from screaming out from the intense pleasure.

The bed smacks against the wall with each thrust. As I fuck her harder it gets louder, and I fucking hate that she looks up at the headboard. It was only a glance, but it’s enough that I want to drag her ass onto the floor and fuck her there. She can hear the creaking and groaning and it’s distracting her. It pisses me off. That’s not going to fucking happen. I want her so far gone that she can’t think about anything but my dick giving her the release she so desperately needs.

I pick her ass up in one hand and press my thumb against her clit. I push down hard and ignore her body trying to thrash in my arms. I don’t stop. I don’t let up on my ruthless thrusts as I circle her clit, taking her higher and higher. Her head thrashes from side to side as her pussy spasms around my dick. I feel her hot arousal and groan as the sound of my dick slamming into her gets louder and messier. I fucking love that I made her cum. I want it again. I want more of her.

I ride through her orgasm and push her to another level of ecstasy. I rub her clit with the rough pad of my thumb and keep up my pace. My spine tingles and my toes curl, wanting my release, but I hold it back, waiting for her to go off again. I need it again. I want to take her over the edge. She claws at the comforter and screams out as I pinch her clit.

Only when I feel her body trembling and see her back bow with her own orgasm, only then do I let the sensation wash over me. I cum violently deep inside her and groan into the crook of her next as the pleasure runs through every inch of my body. I brace my forearms above her head, and we sink into the mattress as I pump short, shallow thrusts until I’m completely spent and have nothing left.

I roll onto my back and pull her close to me while we both catch our breath. It’s been a long time, a really long fucking time, but it’s never felt like
that
before. More than anything, I feel triumphant. Like I've tamed the untamable.

I let a few minutes go by for my heart to calm down. You’d think I held my breath the whole fucking time. My lips travel along her shoulder and I leave a sweet kiss on the tender part of her neck, just behind her ear before getting up. She was so fucking good, better than I fucking hoped she'd be.

I need to get her something to clean up with.

When I get back from the bathroom, she’s sitting up on the bed holding the comforter across her chest. Her hair’s a mess, her lips are swollen from my kiss, and her skin looks radiant. She looks like she got fucked, and it looks damn good on her.

I pass her the washcloth and pretend like I’m looking away while I pull on my boxers.

She rolls off the bed and sashays her ass in my face. I know she did that shit on purpose. I smack my hand playfully across that perky, lush ass, and smile as she jumps and turns around to face me. A deep red blush colors her cheeks as she smiles shyly back at me.

That’s when it hits me.

This broad is getting to me. I watch as she grabs her clothes. All the bits of happiness leave me in an instant. I didn’t check for a wire. Fuck. Fuck, how could I forget she’s a cop?

I didn’t say anything, though. I know I didn’t. I replay the scene in my head.

It’s like snapping back to reality. I don’t know what the fuck happened.

Shit. Maybe she wanted this. She wanted to get close to me. Fuck. Fuck. I keep fucking this up. I’m so drawn to her. I run a hand down my face in exasperation. What the hell was I thinking? I keep losing my shit when she’s around.

I look at her from across the room as she pulls her jeans up and over her sweet ass. Fuck, even right now as I’m telling myself this is wrong, my dick is hardening at the chance to be inside her again.