‘You know, since this whole thing blew up in the papers, I’ve been doing just that,’ Joe said. ‘This is my sneaky secret transportation. I drive my Prius to the studio, jump in this baby and then I can go where I want without the paps catching me.’ He tapped on the windows. ‘Total blackout from the outside. They can’t see in.’ He grinned. ‘Couple of days ago, I drove to Vegas. Got a private room, played some poker, kicked back. It was great.’ He stretched back in his seat. ‘Good system, eh? Means I can sneak back to Cascabel for Brian’s last day. I wouldn’t’ve wanted to miss that. Brian’s a good kid. I just needed to figure out a way that the papers can’t get wind of it.’
‘It’s very nice of you to bother,’ Amber said. ‘I know it’ll mean a lot to Brian. He really looked up to you.’
Joe winced. ‘I feel shitty about being there under false pretences,’ he admitted. ‘And then, everything that happened – it’s the least I could do, coming back for him.’
Most people as famous as Joe would walk away and never look back, Amber thought. Joe’s a really good guy.
‘And I kind of like the idea anyway,’ Joe added. ‘I mean, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to anyone. That was a real shame. This way we get to do the thing right.’ He grinned. ‘Get some closure, as the shrinks say.’
‘Daniyel said everyone from our group’s coming,’ Amber said. ‘Even Petal. Brian asked for everyone to be there.’
‘That’s pretty brave of Petal,’ Joe said, grinning. ‘Considering there are plenty of people who’ll be wanting to rip her a new one. I can’t wait to see what Skye says to her.’
Amber glanced at him, trying to gauge his feelings about Skye. ‘Are you looking forward to seeing her? Skye, I mean,’ she prompted.
‘Yeah! Cool! She’s a great girl.’ Joe smiled reminiscently. ‘We had us a lot of fun.’
Amber waited to see if Joe would say anything more about Skye, but instead he cleared his throat and went on a little awkwardly: ‘Honey, I need to ask you something. I’ve been kind of worried about your situation, and now I’ve seen you’re still living with your mom . . .’ He ran one hand through his thick hair. ‘D’you think that’s a great idea? How are you doing with what Dr Raf would call retaining your sobriety?’
Amber clicked off the massage programme and swung round in the chair to look at Joe properly. His handsome face was full of concern.
‘I know it’s not ideal that I’m still living with her,’ she said simply. ‘But I have a lot of stuff to work out. I’ve got an entire life to put together – I have to sort out some way to take care of her, for a start. I’m going to meetings every day, and to a therapist Dr Raf found for me. But if I try to do everything at once, I’m scared I’ll freak myself out, and that
will
endanger my sobriety.’
Joe nodded slowly. ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘I don’t like it, but I get it. Your mom still popping pills like something out of
Valley of the Dolls
?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Amber said wryly. ‘That’ll never change.’
Joe sighed. ‘That’s why I wanted to set you up with Jeff Ringquist,’ he said. ‘Get you some paying work. Give you some income of your own, so you can move out.’ He grinned. ‘Jeff said you nailed the audition.’
‘It wasn’t that different to shooting a commercial,’ Amber admitted. ‘I tried not to think too much about what I was doing.’
Joe burst out laughing. ‘You’re a natural!’ he said cheerfully. ‘You know that’s the hardest thing of all – not thinking too much about it. Just get out there and do it. Most people get stuck in their own heads. They over-think their line readings.’
‘I suppose I’m lucky,’ Amber said, giggling. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever had the problem of thinking too much.’
‘Me neither, baby!’ Joe said, roaring with laughter now. ‘Secret of my success!’
He popped a button on his own control panel, tipping up the footrest and stretching out on it luxuriantly.
I want to talk to him about Skye and the audition, Amber thought, but before she could speak, Joe was saying: ‘Amber, babe, you get that I’m locked into this whole situation with Jennifer, don’t you?’ He groaned. ‘Y’know, I look back and ask myself what the hell I was thinking, agreeing to the setup. But Carmen – that’s my publicist, and Jennifer’s publicist – she and Jennifer are an item, you know. Long-term. Been together for years.’ He grinned. ‘Women, eh? You ladies are
much
better at settling down. Anyway, this is perfect for them. Jennifer gets me to cover up the rumours, she’s got Carmen to boff,
and
the movie makes boatloads of money, which means she can finally make this little indie script she’s been dying to do for years. Thinks it’ll snag her an Oscar. She plays a blind girl with MS who dies, or something.’
He spread his hands wide as the Hummer turned onto the freeway.
‘But me? What do I get out of it, apart from the boatloads of money? Not only am I not getting laid – if I even
try
, I get a ton of crap raining down on me!’ He sighed again. ‘Carmen suckered me in. I swear, that woman’s really good at what she does.’
‘Can you not call off the engagement?’ Amber suggested.
Joe shook his head vehemently. ‘Believe me, I suggested that after the whole rehab fuckup. But no way. It’s not just Carmen and Jen pressuring me now – I had the whole studio come down on my head. They just took a huge hit on that gigantic alien movie that bombed big time, and they’re pinning all their hopes on
Him, Me and Mr Paws.
If Jen and I don’t walk off into the sunset together in “real life” –’ he put the last two words in audible inverted commas – ‘they’re scared the movie will tank.’
‘Do you actually have to get married?’ Amber asked.
He grimaced. ‘I’m hoping to slip out of that one,’ he said. ‘Keep postponing – you know, pressures of work, conflicting shooting schedules . . . and then Jen finally says that she loves me but she’s not in love with me any more, she can’t make her peace with the past, she can’t get over the fact that I cheated. That plays well for her, ’cause she looks like a strong independent woman.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘So we go our separate ways. I’m heartbroken, of course. But finally I move on. Jen doesn’t date for a while, because she’s getting over me – which is perfect for her, natch, as really she’s hooking up with Carmen.’
Amber nodded. ‘That sounds plausible.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’ Joe leaned over to look at her. ‘But you see where it leaves me in the meantime.’
He put his hand over hers. ‘I like women, Amber,’ he said frankly. ‘I can’t just go cold turkey on the ladies for six months to a year while Jen and I get this mess sorted out in the best PR way possible. And obviously, I can’t let off steam in strip clubs any more.’ He looked unexpectedly serious. ‘Plus, I’m asking myself why I’m still doing that. Cascabel got to me, you know? All those sessions with Dr Raf, talking about stuff I never even thought about before. I really do like women. I don’t want to be the dick that pays for a girl half my age to sit on my lap in a thong.’ He grimaced. ‘Well, I want it, but I don’t want it, you know? I mean, what happens when I get older? I don’t want to be a dirty old man. Even Warren Beatty settled down. It’s time for me to start thinking about it. Dr Raf really got to me. He’s a damn good guy.’
‘Yes, he is,’ Amber said so quietly Joe didn’t even hear her.
‘So, I need to date someone grown up enough to get what’s going on,’ he continued. ‘Someone who I can see going forward with, after all the dust clears.’
Joe twined his fingers through hers. ‘Someone like you, babe.’
And just as Amber was opening her mouth to tell him no, he leaned over and kissed her with an expertise that took her breath away.
*
It was a world-class kiss. Joe knew exactly what he was doing; by the time Amber had lifted her hand to push him away, she was already under his spell, and her hand dropped back to her side as he kissed her long and thoroughly. It was Joe who eventually ended it, sitting back with a smug expression on his face, saying: ‘Well, we definitely have chemistry . . .’
‘You’d have chemistry with a dead goat,’ Amber said dazedly, making Joe smirk complacently. She sat for a moment, coming back to full consciousness; then she leaned forward and slapped Joe hard across his cheek.
‘What the—’ Joe looked totally stunned.
‘You’re a slut, Joe Jeffreys!’ she said furiously. ‘Even when we were in Cascabel, you were a slut! Flirting with me, and sneaking off to have sex with Skye!’
‘I didn’t mean to make you feel bad—’ he started.
‘Not me, you idiot! I couldn’t care less about whether you flirt with me!’ she snapped. ‘I’m talking about
Skye
! How do you think that made
her
feel?’
Joe’s jaw dropped. He stared at her blankly.
‘You didn’t even think about her, did you?’ she said angrily. ‘You were happy enough to get your rocks off with her, but the rest of the time you were mooning after me, because you’ve got this ridiculous fallen angel fantasy about me! Oh, yes, don’t think I didn’t know all about that!
Men!
You’re
pathetic
!’
Amber narrowed her eyes in fury. ‘What, you thought you were going to ride in on your white horse and save me?’ she continued. ‘You
moron
! Didn’t it occur to you that I have to save
myself
?’ She pounded at her chest with her fist, completely carried away by now. ‘What good would it do if you, or anyone, did it
for
me?’
Joe was hanging his head in shame by now.
‘And suggesting to me that I be your
secret girlfriend
?’ she continued angrily. ‘Do you really think
that
would be a good idea for me? I’ve been an addict for almost half of my life, and I’ve hidden it from almost everyone. And it nearly killed me! I can’t do any more secrets!’
‘Babe, I’m sorry—’ Joe started, red in the face now.
‘You barely know me!’ she charged on. ‘It’s crazy to think we could jump into a relationship just like that! Especially when there’s someone right under your nose who’d
die
to have you suggest something like that to her! Someone who has real feelings for you – someone you really get on with, who you laugh and joke with – someone you’re
yourself
with! You were never really yourself with me, because you were all tangled up in your
immature
,
teenage
rescue fantasy!’
Joe was holding up both hands in surrender. ‘Stop!’ he pleaded. ‘I get it! I’m an idiot! I’m a total fucking idiot! I’ve got everything completely wrong! Please, just don’t shout at me any more!’
Amber stared at him, panting from her tirade; she didn’t feel she’d got out half of what she wanted to say.
‘You’re talking about Skye, right?’ Joe said. ‘You’re saying Skye has feelings for me?’
‘Of course I’m talking about Skye!’ she said, still loudly enough to make him cower. ‘She really cares about you! I think she’s fallen for you! And you didn’t even bother to get in contact with her after you left Cascabel!’
‘It was all such a mess,’ Joe said apologetically. ‘I meant to. I was just letting the dust settle. And then that story came out in the
Investigator
, and I realized she’d been a plant all along . . .’
‘She’d never have talked to them if you’d got in touch with her!’ Amber insisted. ‘She told me that, and I believe her! She was waiting and hoping that you’d track her down and try to see her again!’
‘Huh,’ Joe said slowly, taking this in.
This isn’t all about Joe, Amber realized suddenly. Part of this is about me being angry with Dr Raf. I wish he’d got in touch with me after I left – to see how I was doing. I’m upset he didn’t, and I’m taking it out on Joe.
The Hummer had pulled to a halt a while ago, but Joe and Amber had been oblivious to the fact that they were no longer in motion. Finally, the driver tapped on the mike of his intercom to get their attention; they both jumped.
‘So sorry, Mr Jeffreys, but we’re at our destination, and I think that your, uh, event is just about to start,’ he said, sounding embarrassed even through the speakers. ‘May I—’
‘Yeah, yeah. You can open the door,’ Joe said, sitting back, grabbing a bottle of water and uncapping it.
The passenger side door swung open, and Amber jumped out without waiting for Joe. She looked back into the Hummer, where Joe was still sitting, drinking water and looking dazed.
‘Give up the fantasies,’ she said to him firmly. ‘Focus on what’s staring you in the face. You don’t need a fallen angel. What you
really
need is a partner in crime.’
Turning on her heel, she walked up the slate path to Cascabel’s main entrance. Behind her, Joe swung out of the Hummer, staring after Amber as the silk skirt of her dress swirled around her long legs. Slowly, he whistled through his teeth, a long, slow, thoughtful whistle, as he watched her disappear into the building.
S
itting in the lobby of Cascabel’s reception, staring at the three huge vases ranged along the front desk, filled with masses of pale yellow orchids that looked like sunshine against the light green walls, Skye had been early for this meeting. She had been checking her appearance in the mirror panels between the vases, but when she saw Amber coming up the path, she jumped to her feet.
She walks like she’s on a catwalk, Skye thought resentfully. Hair bouncing like a shampoo ad, legs stepping high as a pony, just like a runway model. Never looks down once, even though that path is like slate stepping stones. I hate her.
And then, beyond Amber, at the bottom of the winding path, Skye spotted a tall figure, wide-shouldered, long-legged, standing in the shade of the two high palm trees that framed the entrance to Cascabel. He was dressed uncharacteristically smartly in a white shirt and grey trousers, but even if he’d been wearing a floor-length kaftan, Skye – like millions of his fans – would have instantly recognized that handsome face, that distinctive shock of blond hair.
I don’t believe it!
Skye’s hands curled into fists by her sides, her nails digging into her palms.
She got a ride here with Joe! I spilled my heart out to her in that producer’s office, and she let me, and all the time she must have been dating Joe and laughing at me, letting me go on about how much I cared about him – God, I’d like to strangle both of them!