Bad Luck Cadet (2 page)

It was probably my hardest workout. I was
beginning to think I might not have it in me. Veronica was a drill
sergeant and wouldn’t let up.

The entire week continued this way.

In the end, I managed to shave a whole minute
off my mile. But I was sure that extra half mile was going to kill
me.

My phone rang at precisely 0800 hours on
Monday morning. I was asked to meet at the track at 0800 the
following day. I decided to give my body a rest and take it easy. I
jumped on the scale and was down another five pounds. I had fifteen
more to go.

The following day was overcast, cold and
gloomy. I again arrived early but this time got out of my car and
went to do my stretches. Veronica had taught me the value of
stretching my old tired body. She just looked so much better doing
them than I did.

Everyone began arriving. There were only five
of us, three men and two women. The other female was a spunky
little thing. She didn’t say much to me, mostly just flirted with
the guys. I’ll call one Mr. Muscle, and the other two, Curly and
Mo. Miss Pony Tail rounded out our crew. Sergeant Spears told us we
would be doing the pushups and sit ups first.

The other four recruits (see I was learning
the terminology) chose each other as partners. I was left with Sgt.
Spears. I actually finished in the excellent category according to
Cooper. Next was the vertical jump. I managed 18 inches and raised
Sgt. Spear’s eyebrows. It was the only test I beat Miss Pony Tail
on. Next, we had the 300 meter run. I finished in 70 seconds, two
seconds to spare. We then had the mile and a half run. I gave it
everything I had. It didn’t matter that I finished last I just
wanted to finish under my time.

Mr. Muscle stopped running about halfway
through and walked a lap. He still beat me. Curly also walked part
of the way and finished before I did. I missed my time by 35
seconds. It put me in the fair category. I didn’t know if it was
enough, but I knew I had given it everything I had.

Sgt. Spears said he would call us all the next
day. I went home and ate a bowl of ice cream. I then ate another
bowlful, but added chocolate syrup on top. I hid my crime by
washing and drying the bowl and spoon. I didn't try to disguise the
empty ice cream carton. Everyone would assume it was my son’s handy
work.

Torn between dread and anticipation, I tossed
and turned for most of the night.

Before my husband left in the morning, he told
me not to feel bad that I hadn’t accomplished my goal. He said I
needed to pick something a little more attainable the next time.
I'm sure somehow he thought that would make me feel
better.

The call came early and I was asked to come
into the station at 0900.

I was the only recruit there. Sgt. Spears did
not look happy. He asked me to sit. I sat.

“Look, I don’t think you have what it takes. I
don’t think you’ll survive a week at the academy," he said. "You
don’t seem tough enough and this is a tough business. I think you
showed guts though by going this far. I had two young strong men
stop running yesterday and take it easy when they could have done
better. I don’t think you could have done better but you never
stopped. Those two men are out of the program. That leaves three of
you. I’m going to include you in the poly and psych tests. I also
want you to have the physical exam. I’ll give you a chance. You
showed “heart” and sometimes as police professionals, that’s all we
have.”

That was it. I thanked him and told him I was
available for the tests.

I called Veronica as soon as I got
to my car. I invited her to meet me for a thank you lunch and then
gave her the news. I was not 'in' yet, but I was a step closer.
Veronica began crying and told me that she was so proud.

And in that moment, I was happy
Veronica’s mother hadn’t drowned her at birth for being so perfect.
She was just what I needed.

Chapter 3 I Think I’m Crazy and a
Liar

I was scheduled for my psychological
examination in Phoenix on Thursday morning and the polygraph test
on Friday. It’s a bit of a drive so I decided to stay Wednesday
night in the city. I loved visiting the city and the biggest reason
was Starbucks coffee. Venti hot mocha, non-fat, with whip, it’s the
only thing I order.

My Starbucks and I arrived early for the exam.
I finished my caffeine chocolate combination and hid the evidence.
I didn’t know what the psychological exam entailed but I didn’t
want them to know I needed caffeine to feel human every
morning.

I was shown to a small room with four tables
and two chairs at each table. I took a seat. Miss Ponytail and Mo
came in a few minutes later. Miss Ponytail took a seat with a good
looking military type guy and Mo was forced to sit by me. He at
least said hi. Miss Ponytail and I were the only
females.

A woman came in and told us we would start
with basic timed tests. We were each given a bubble page and then
our exam. We were told not to begin or look at the test until told
and then the ten minutes began.

This was easy.

Question 1: 1,3,5 – what number comes
next?

And on it went. The questions were basic
sequencing problems. They weren’t all as easy as number one, but I
actually enjoyed doing them. Before the ten minutes were over I had
finished but Mo was having problems. He turned to me and whispered,
“What happens if we don’t finish? Will they make us leave?” His
voice held absolute panic.

I told him to take his time and finish what he
could. I was beginning to understand what the tests were about.
When you’re forty you’ve taken so many tests in your life it
doesn’t throw you to be under pressure or not know an answer. You
just go to the next question. Being young, you return to those
dreaded achievement tests in high school. Just how smart are
you?

For once it was nice to be older. I might not
be in the best physical shape compared to others in the room but I
had it made when it came to these questions. Five more timed tests
were given. I didn’t answer every question but overall I knew I had
done well. Poor Mo was dripping sweat and feeling the pressure.
Miss Ponytail was flirting with her table partner and didn’t appear
any worse for wear.

After the sequencing and math tests we started
the hard part. I’ve always felt I had a strong head on my shoulders
and was pretty self-assured. At the end of four hours I was feeling
quite disturbed. We were given three main tests, each with 200
questions. The questions on all three were only slightly different.
I could see if you lied in any of the first test questions you
would be in trouble. I don’t know if my answers were correct but I
answered honestly.

I was asked over ten times if I loved my
mother or if my mother is deceased, did I love my mother. I
answered yes every time. Next, do I love my father and if my father
is deceased, did I love my father. Every time I answered
no.

Now I was starting to sweat. Was I a horrible
person because I didn’t love my father? My father was a no good
jerk. He left my mom and his three children when we were young. He
needed some space and wanted a different life. He died when I was
in my twenties. I never really knew him. I didn’t hate him any
longer but I don’t remember ever loving him. I was such a terrible
person! I knew they wouldn’t want me as an officer. What a stupid
test.

We were called one by one into the room with
the psychologist. No one ever came back into the testing room after
being called. I was last. This was an omen, I knew it. When I was
finally called I went into another small but quaint room with a
couch and chairs. I sat on the couch and the Doctor sat in a chair.
He went through my evaluation and asked me questions. He never
questioned the dislike of my father he just asked about general
life questions. I left feeling crazy.

I slept poorly but had to be up early for the
polygraph. After hitting Starbucks, I checked in and was given a
questionnaire. It covered everything from juvenile shoplifting to
drug use. I don’t remember ever shoplifting. My mom would have
killed me but I remember my best friend stealing a purse and the
guilt I felt because I was with her.

Drug use was another no brainer because I
didn’t know what most of the drugs were. Marijuana, cocaine, yes,
but mescaline, crank, and methamphetamine, I had no idea. I guess
it didn’t matter because the bottom line was I hadn’t ever used
any. I figured I was just boring.

I finished and was shown into the testing
room. Rob Thomas introduced himself as my polygrapher. He began by
hooking me up to electrodes. My chest, finger and arms were wired
and he explained I was sitting on butt plates so they could measure
how my butt clinched. I was mortified. My butt cheeks were getting
firmer but they still had wobble. I knew they would give a false
impression. This was not going to be good.

Rob asked what police department I was testing
for and what academy I was going to. I told him Small Town and
PAFRA (Police Academy For Rural America). He told me he was also
attending PAFRA in September. I explained I would be starting in
August. Rob was not aware there was a class starting in August and
I knew he felt I had told my first lie. I think the ad said August.
I had looked up PAFRA online but it didn’t give very much
information.

The test began. I was asked the same questions
from the questionnaire I was given earlier. Rob stared at his
computer screen while the test continued. I answered every question
honestly and began relaxing. It was finally over. I was waiting for
Rob to re-question me because on the testing information it stated
any questionable answers would be re-asked. It never happened. I
told Rob I would see him at the academy. His answer, “We’ll
see.”

What if every question showed I was
lying?

I drove home feeling sad. I knew it was my
jello cheeks. Whoever thought they’d measure butt clenching on a
polygraph test?

I was exhausted when I arrived. My husband was
out of town until Sunday, my son was spending the weekend camping
and my daughter went to bed early. I made a Tom Collins and
listened to music until I was tired and then tried to sleep. I
wondered when I’d receive the news good or bad.

Chapter 4

Good News, I Think

It happened on Tuesday morning. The call came
in and essentially I was IN. I would begin the police academy on
August 13. I was told there was a lot to do and they wanted to see
me later that same afternoon.

I arrived at the police department and sat
down next to Miss Ponytail. I found out her name was Stacy and she
was from Montana. She told me she had always wanted to be a police
officer and had seen the ad online. Mo was nowhere in sight and I
was pretty sure it was not good news for him.

Sgt. Spears asked us both to step into his
office. We were given an academy letter laying out the specifics of
what to expect and what would be needed. We were told we would be
issued a check for our uniform allowance and from that we would be
expected to purchase what we needed. He told us to get our
identification cards as soon as we left his office, a secretary
would issue them. He also said we would begin being paid on the
following Monday and would be expected to be at the police
department at 0800 Monday through Friday until we left for
PAFRA.

Sgt. Spears explained Small Town Police
Department (STPD) was in need of female officers and we would be
the first if we succeeded at the academy. I had lived here for over
ten years and never realized there were no female officers. I
believe Sgt. Spears was setting his star on Stacy and did not think
I would make it. He seemed to be speaking to her and I was only a
side bar.

Stacy and I made plans to head to Phoenix for
a uniform store the following morning. We needed to do a turnaround
trip so it would make for a long day. Stacy seemed more likeable as
I got to know her. She was 26-years-old and had a 7-year-old
daughter. Her daughter was living with her ex-husband while Stacy
attended the academy. She told me she was very nervous and heard
the academy was difficult.

I had put a lot of pressure on myself about
getting to the academy but thought very little about actually being
there. I would probably begin getting nervous a few days before we
left but for now I was just relieved. Stacy said she had always
dreamed of being a police officer and this was the beginning of her
dream.

That evening I had to break the news to my
husband. I made his favorite dinner. Cassie my youngest daughter
and my son Roger were home for dinner as well.

“I have news.” This was said in a determined
voice lacking any excitement.

Everyone looked my way and dinner came to a
standstill.

“I’m leaving for the police academy on August
12th. It begins on August 13th. I’ll be gone for 18 weeks and you
will all be fending for yourselves.”

Cassie jumped up and gave me a hug.

“I knew you could do it mom.”

Roger just stared. He then got up from the
table and left the room.

My husband asked, “Is this what you really
want?”