Bad News Cowboy (19 page)

“She was cold,” Jack said, knowing he sounded defensive. But she was standing there in a jacket, and he was without one, so he felt as though he had to throw in an explanation.

“You've always helped take care of her,” Connor said. “I appreciate that. I was always busy on the ranch, and Eli had to pick up all the house and Kate slack. Sometimes I think I should have done more.”

“Oh, hell, Connor. When? You were a kid and you were running a ranching operation while your dad soaked his liver in booze.” Jack looked away from Kate and back to his friend.

“Still. I worry about her. A hell of a lot more than I worry about you.”

“She's tough,” Jack said, his throat getting tight, his heart suddenly too large for his chest.

“She is. But she reminds me of a spooked horse. They're scary. Tough. Could mess you the hell up. But they're afraid. Afraid to let you touch them.”

“Because not every horse needs to be broken,” he said, feeling as if the analogy, which was bad to start with, had broken down completely.

“She's pretty amazing when she's wild.”

Another image. Kate with her head thrown back while he thrust deep inside her tight little body...

“She sure is,” Jack said, knowing that if he hadn't been hell bound before, he was now.

“But I don't want her to be alone. I don't want to think we messed up so bad she couldn't...have this,” he said, indicating the decorations, the event around them.

“Maybe she doesn't need this. Maybe she just needs barrels and some dirt. That's happiness, too.”

Connor let out a long sigh. “I suppose. I think sometimes you see her a little bit more clearly than any of us. You were always able to cheer her up when she was a kid.”

Jack waited for the guilt, but he didn't feel any. Yeah. His conscience was seared like flesh stuck in a fire. To the point where he didn't feel a damned thing.

Hell. He was going to hell.

“But you gave her stability,” Jack said, making a belated and weak attempt at atonement. “And she should believe in love and commitment, because you and Eli gave her that. You gave it all up for her. I just came by and made jokes when shit was tough. There's a difference. You both stayed. And you're still here. If she doesn't end up with anyone, it'll be because she chose it, not because you did anything wrong.”

As far as inspiring speeches went, it wasn't bad. It also wasn't his to make. Because he had a feeling if things went south with Kate at any point after this, it would be his fault. That if she didn't end up with a guy, it would be his fault.

Ten-gallon ego you got there, Monaghan.

Yeah. But it was because she'd been a virgin. Because he was the first. If he fucked up, then he would pave a bad road for the bastard who came after him.

A small evil part of him was satisfied by that thought. He wanted things to be hard for the bastard who came after him. He wanted to kill the bastard who came after him and he didn't care whether that was fair or whether or not it made sense.

If he didn't want forever, he couldn't fault everyone who would come once they were over.

But he did.

Because her kisses were for him. Her body was for him.

If she could get a look at his thoughts right now, she would tie him to the train tracks, but he didn't care.

Connor was looking at him funny. “Why are you single?”

“What the hell, man?”

“I mean, that was a good speech. If I was half that good at making speeches, Liss would want me dead a lot less often.”

“I'm single because I'm good in small doses. Like I just said. I'm not the guy who stays.” He let out a long breath and his gaze drifted over to where Eli and Sadie were just leaving the dance floor. “Speaking of, I think the couple is about to leave.”

“Well, then, let's go send them off.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

K
ATE
DIDN
'
T
WASTE
any time getting Roo into the trailer after work. She'd hooked it up to the truck before leaving, and now she was ready to spend the afternoon with Jack.

Practicing her barrel racing, specifically. And also planning the charity event.

Okay, and the sex.

She had spent only a little bit of extra time laboring over her underwear selection. Black. Black cotton was the sexiest she had. She needed to remedy that. Practical underwear took on a whole new meaning when their primary objective wasn't simply not riding up your ass crack. Seduction added a new dimension to panty requirements.

And since seduction panties looked as if they would do just that, she was thinking she'd need seduction panties and everyday panties.

Being a woman was exhausting. She bet Jack was just going to stick with the one kind of underwear.

Her internal muscles clenched unexpectedly as she thought of just how he filled out said underwear.

She blinked and revved the engine on the truck, pulling forward to the long driveway. Her old truck bounced and groaned over the potholes until she turned out onto the two-lane highway. It still groaned as it rolled over the asphalt, but it bounced less.

Sex was a whole thing, she was discovering. She hadn't given it a whole lot of thought before she'd had it, and now she seemed to ponder it a lot. Along with underwear.

She'd known sex would change things between herself and Jack—she wasn't an idiot, even if she was innocent—but she hadn't realized sex would change so much of what she thought about.

That it would change the context of simple things like underwear.

She turned left off the highway and onto Jack's property. A wooden frame arched up over the road, an iron sign hanging down that read Monaghan Ranch.

Every time she came here, she was in awe all over again. About what he'd accomplished with his life. About how far he'd come.

So far from his days in a single-wide buried in the brush by the sea. She'd been to his house only once, and she'd waited in the car on Eli's orders.

She'd been little, but she remembered. She'd rolled down the windows and taken a good look at the little yellow mobile. Stained by salt, moss climbing the side, a product of the eternal dampness.

The smell of cigarettes had soaked through the walls, pushing on to the driveway, combatting the brine-and-seaweed scent that lay heavy in the air.

Bleak, washed out, so unlike the young man she knew. It had made her wonder where Jack got all his humor. Because he certainly hadn't collected it on the dirty, bramble-covered beach near his house.

This ranch, the place he had built for himself, was much more in keeping with who he was. A little bit over the top, a little bit showy, but functional, and pure country. She drove past the house, headed toward the arena. Jack was already there, facing away from her, his arms spread wide, hands rested on the top rail of the fence. She took a moment to admire that broad chest, narrow waist and very, very fine ass.

An ass she had touched.

She couldn't hold back the smug smile that pulled at the edges of her mouth.

She put the truck in Park, killed the engine and took the keys out of the ignition, hesitating for a second before opening the door and climbing out. “Hey,” she said, walking over to where he stood.

He turned, a blue flame flickering in his eyes for a moment. “Hey.”

For a moment she wasn't sure what to do. Her instinct was to launch herself at him and kiss him, but she wasn't sure if that would be okay. She wasn't really sure what the protocol was for a temporary sexual arrangement with your brothers' best friend. And then she figured she didn't really care. Because this was only temporary. And anyway, she and Jack had already waded through a whole swamp of awkward. If emphatic greetings weren't acceptable they would talk about it. And it couldn't possibly be more of a minefield than previous discussions.

She picked up her pace and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck and stretching up on her tiptoes, kissing him as deep and long as she wanted. Jack put his hands on her hips and held her steady while she explored his mouth. The slow glide of his tongue against hers, the warm firmness of his lips. She slipped her hand from around his neck, sliding her fingertips across his jaw, his stubble rough beneath her fingertips.

She pulled away, rubbing her nose against his, following some instinct she hadn't known she'd possessed. “You remind me of a sexy outlaw,” she said, then kissed him quickly again.

He arched a dark brow. “An outlaw?”

That question knocked a bit of the shine off that perfect moment of clarity and confidence she'd just experienced. For a while she had been convinced that there was nothing she could do wrong. Now she was questioning that. She was a novice, after all. A novice who still possessed nothing more than cotton panties of the most demure variety.

“Yeah,” she said, her tone less certain now. “Because...kind of...dark and dangerous. And...”

He cupped the back of her head and pulled her in for a hard kiss. “Dangerous?”

“Stop making me feel silly.”

“You shouldn't feel silly. I like hearing what you think about me. It's a lot better than having you snipe at me.”

She pulled away from him, snorting. “I do not snipe.”

That earned her a smack on the butt. She yelped and rubbed the spot he'd just made contact with. It didn't hurt. If anything, she liked it. “You snipe.”

“If I do, you deserve it.”

“Honestly, I like talking to you rather than just circling you. I feel like that's what we've been doing for a while.”

Kate took hold of her own hand and started picking at the dirt beneath her thumbnail. “Maybe. But it was pretty off-putting to realize I wanted to kiss you more than I wanted to punch you.”

“Out of curiosity, when did you realize that?”

She dug deeper beneath her nail, putting most of her focus and energy onto that task. “I don't know if I fully realized it until after.”

“After we kissed?”

“After we had sex.” She cleared her throat. “Before that, I was still on the fence about whether or not kissing would be more satisfying than punching.”

A strange smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “But sex officially tipped you over.”

She dug harder at her thumbnail, then realized she was standing there picking dirt out from under her nails in front of her lover. Reflexively, she grimaced and put her hands down at her sides. Her lover. Jack was her lover. Having a lover was weird enough; having it be Jack was weirder still. Or maybe not. She couldn't actually imagine assigning that label to anyone else.

“Well, you presented a convincing argument.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. Your um...body made a very convincing argument.”

“Stands to reason. My dick did very well on the debate team in high school.”

“Debate? I would have thought that PE was more your dick's forte.”

“Possibly. Though my member is very convincing. Even without words.”

This was weird, talking about more intimate things in a tone they would have used prior to actually having experienced anything intimate together. A strange mixture of old and new.

“Well, as difficult as it is to believe, Monaghan, I did not come here to discuss your penis, or the virtues thereof. I came here to ride.”

“That begs the question if we're still on the subject of my manhood, or you actually brought a horse in the trailer.”

“I brought a horse. And if you don't behave yourself when I'm done riding Roo, I might not
ride
you.”

“I don't believe that, baby.”

Kate's heart fluttered and she rolled her eyes, mainly at herself, but she was content to let Jack believe that the expression was directed at him.

“Your ego is stunning.”

“It is, isn't it? I'm glad you notice, because I just got it resized.”

“Did you?”

“Yes, it's gone up about three sizes ever since Ms. Kate Garrett decided it was better to kiss me than punch me.”

How did he do that? It was a stupid thing to say. Arrogant and obnoxious. And yet somehow it made her feel all warm inside.

“Well, Kate Garrett giveth, and Kate Garrett taketh away. I'm expecting you to coach me through a few runs on the course first. Otherwise, I will have to leave you with nothing but a shrunken ego.”

“Shrinkage is never good. Get your pony out, and let's do this.”

She shot him a deadly look before turning, heading back toward the trailer and opening it up. She readied Roo and led her out, the horse's hooves clopping on the ramp that went down to the gravel, where the sound changed to a muted crunch. Kate brought her to the arena and looped the lead rope over the fence before opening up the side of the trailer and setting out to get her tack ready.

“Roo is not a pony, just so you know.”

“Thoroughbred. I know. I was being an ass.”

“You
should
know, Mr. Rodeo. I'm counting on the fact that you have actual expertise to help me through all of this.”

“I do, I promise you. Not just from the rodeo.” He hesitated and she looked at him. He reached back and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “You know, the breeding operation is going really well.”

She was tempted to say something in the same smart-ass vein as he just had. To banter back. But somehow she sensed it wasn't the time. He was looking for something.

Approval
. Her approval.

Which was strange, because she had never thought of Jack as needing approval from anyone, least of all her. And yet it was there in his voice. She couldn't deny it. And she wouldn't deny him.

She offered him a smile, continuing her work on Roo. “This whole place is amazing.” She turned her focus back to Roo's tack. “And I've never liked all this talk about luck where you're concerned. I've never seen anyone work as hard as you and change their position in life so drastically.”

He shrugged, a halfhearted laugh on his lips. “I only moved about five miles down the road. Not sure that counts as changing position.”

“You did,” she said, thinking about that washed-out trailer again.

“I think you're the only one who sees it that way.”

“Well, everyone else is an idiot. I'm pretty confident in that assessment.”

“One of the many things I like about you.”

Kate tightened the girth on Roo's saddle and straightened. “Okay, I'm riding right now. So I guess you just stand there and yell at me if I do a bad job?”

“Yeah, I can handle that.”

Kate mounted Roo and rode her over to the open gate, staring down the course with determination. She remembered the last ride. The one that Jack had walked away from. The one she'd never seen the time for, because her timekeeper had taken off after the angry kiss.

She had been thinking of
him
during that ride. Not about success, not about failure, but about Jack.

Of course, thinking about Jack was as natural as breathing.

She took a deep breath, made her mind a blank space until she saw nothing but the barrels in front of her.

And then she went.

Her movements blended with Roo's body, adjusting to the rhythm. It felt easy to slide into it, to follow the leads of Roo's movements. And she felt that in turn Roo followed hers.

Kind of like kissing. She hadn't known what she was doing, but paying attention to the subtle way Jack moved his lips, flicked his tongue, had made following along intuitive.

This was similar in a way. Required an awareness of her whole body so that she could sense subtle shifts and respond with perfect control.

Memory blended with the present, memory of what it had been like to be pressed up against Jack only a few moments ago, her muscles languid as she let arousal roll over her. Every touch, every taste, every shift of his hands working together.

And before she knew it, she had rounded the last barrel. Nothing was knocked over, and nothing felt slow.

“Holy shit!” She didn't bother to hold back the exclamation. “It was good.”

“Yeah, it was,” Jack said, smiling. He was holding a stopwatch that he hadn't shown her before, and he looked at the time. “Damn good, Katie.”

“One more?”

He nodded. “Do one more, and then we'll get on with this charity stuff.”

And get on with the rest of their afternoon together.

He left the rest of it unspoken, but she heard it all the same.

The second run was as successful as the first, and Kate was on a high by the time they sat down in Jack's living room with the details of the charity rodeo day spread out in front of them.

Kate picked up one of the spreadsheets, reading the extensive list of business names. “I can't believe you got all these vendors confirmed.”

Jack leaned back on the couch, his hands behind his head, displaying his extremely tantalizing biceps, thanks to his very tight black T-shirt. Another thing about sex. It made her think of words like
tantalizing
. Usually words like that were reserved only for pie.

“Lydia had a hand in it—I can't take all the credit. Plus, Eileen has been on top of things. And Ace is overly generous. When Ace gets involved with something, the other business owners tend to follow. Plus, the guy is always willing to donate beer, and that is about the most valuable thing I can think of.”

They were both sitting on the couch, with about a foot of space between them, trying to keep focus on the task at hand. Kate wanted to close the space and press her body against his. Just so she could touch him. Though like the “kiss or not to kiss?” dilemma from earlier, that wasn't strictly sex, either.

The spreadsheets for the charity event were working so well she was considering suggesting making a spreadsheet of the particulars of their arrangement. An arrangement was all it was, really. It wasn't a relationship, that much was certain.