Bad Things (46 page)

Less gently, more hungrily now, Xavier kissed his neck, mouthed his ear, bit his nape, unleashing a cascade of electric current down Carson’s chest and back, into his balls and cock.

“God, look at yourself. All lit up with need. Look how gorgeous you are in my arms.”

Holding Carson tight, sliding his hands over his chest and belly, Xavier sank down on his neck, soft sucking kisses making Carson’s dick harder second by second. Nuzzling in under his jaw, teeth raking over electric nerves. Xavier made him look himself in the eyes. Made him look down, watch as Xavier pulled his pants tight against his hard-on, putting his cock in obscene relief.

“This is a gift, the way we can make each other feel.”

Xavier undid Carson’s pants, spread his fly open, ran a fingertip down the length of his hard shaft over his briefs.

“Do you want to see how beautiful we are when we make love?”

Was he blushing at the idea of watching that? Or because Xavier had said,
‘
make love,’ and not
‘
fuck?’

Carson wanted him. God, he wanted him with his whole soul. But the idea of seeing it happening mortified him.

But he let Xavier undress him. Obediently watched Xavier stripping him bare. Then watched Xavier get out of his things, too. Naked, Xavier pressed the length of his body against his, wrapped him up in his arms, nuzzled against him. The sight of their reflection in the mirror shocked him, and aroused the hell out of him at the same time.

Carson was used to being the tall one, the muscular one in group photos. But Xavier made him look small and slight in contrast with his massive body. Seeing himself in front of Xavier made Carson feel fragile. Vulnerable. Even more so than usual when they were together.

Xavier coaxed Carson down onto his knees, then left him there, alone with his reflection, while he went across the room to the night stand for condoms and lube. Why was it so much more shocking to see Xavier’s big cock bobbing as he walked toward him, juxtaposed with his own kneeling reflection? Like watching himself from outside his body, in a scene where he was obviously about to be fucked.

Xavier knelt down behind him, wrapped his arms around him again, held him close and whispered, “You can do this. Learn to love this.”

“I already do.”

Xavier laughed. “You want it. You enjoy it. You need it, even. But you’re afraid of it. Ashamed of it. Repulsed by it. If you weren’t, it wouldn’t be so hard for you to look.”

“I’m sorry.”

“
Ssshhh. Don’t be sorry. It’s not me you’re hurting.” Sweet kisses over his cheek, down his neck. “Be naked to yourself, the way you’ve been naked to me. Give everything to yourself, the way you never hold anything back from me. Look at that beautiful man in the mirror, and try to love him. Try to love us.”

He could do this. He could face that reflection. Watch Xavier caress him, hands exploring, barely touching, almost hovering over his skin. Belly. Chest. Barely grazing his nipples.

In a way it was like the man in the mirror wasn’t him, but a vaguely familiar but distant stranger being touched. And the feel of Xavier was something different. The two had nothing to do with each other.

“
You’re so anxious. And I’ve hardly touched you. But look how hard you are.” Xavier’s warm breath on his neck.

Spark of pleasure as Xavier touched his nipples in sync with the couple in the mirror.

“I love that I can give you that. Give you goose bumps. Make you sigh and make your nipples hard, just one or two light strums.” One after the other, fingertips passing across his nipples. “That I can plant that ache in your balls like a seed, and grow it, for a few minutes, for a few hours, until you’re so full of pleasure the sap bursts out of you.”

Xavier pressed himself close against Carson’s back, and leaned in so their cheeks were touching as they gazed at their reflections in the mirror. Xavier slid his hands down, fingertips barely alighting on the head of Carson’s cock, then down until the whole hard length of him was enveloped between Xavier’s hands.

Fuck, that gentle, cradling touch made Carson want more. Made him want to thrust, to rub his cock against Xavier’s hands. But he kept still, and Xavier slid one hand down between his thighs, teasing his balls.

“
Does it feel good?”

“
Yes.”

“
Then it’s good. Good that I’m touching you. Good that me touching you has your dick hard. Because this,” a tender caress of his cock, “is beautiful, too.”

Xavier’s hands abandoned him, and Carson watched him squeeze a line of lube along the length of his middle finger, then dive under him with that hand while the other wrapped around the shaft of his cock. Carson groaned as Xavier slid that finger up his ass and gave his cock a good squeeze.

He wished Xavier would say it again. “I love you.” But he wouldn’t. Not while they were in the before, during, or after of fucking. Because he hadn’t meant it that way. He’d only meant to fill the hole his father had dug out of him.

“
Carson, what’s wrong?”

“
Nothing. I’m just nervous. But it’s okay.”

A grin. No, a tender smile. “You’re lying to me? Now?”

“Say it again.”

“
Say what?”

As hard, as scary as jumping off the bluff over Lake Powell. “Tell me you love me.”

Carson waited for Xavier’s tender smile to bend into his amused grin. But Xavier met his gaze in the mirror and said it. “I love you.”

“
I love you, too.”

It stunned him, how Xavier’s face lit up at those words. It made his chest ache, made his throat tight and his vision blur.

“Do you?”

“
Yes.”

“
Tell me again.” God, his voice, quiet and rough.

“
I love you, Xavi.”

“
Do you want me to make love to you?”

“
Yes.”

God, it was strange and beautiful, wrapped in Xavier’s arms, feeling him moving inside him, and seeing it all, seeing them, together, a few inches away, kissing and touching and writhing. Watching the way Xavier’s incredible body moved against his, the geometry of his limbs, the topography of his muscles as he lifted and turned Carson to fit their bodies together from a different angle.

Shocking to witness the brutal carnality of their battle for climax, Xavier hoisting him off the floor, pumping into him from underneath, Carson embarrassed, then almost hypnotized by the rhythmic, carnal dance of his balls and his hard cock.

“
Stroke yourself. Come for me,” Xavier huffed by his ear.

Even after half an hour of fucking in front of the mirror, the idea of doing that embarrassed him so much, he wasn’t sure he could do it.

“Aren’t you aching to come?”

“
Yes.”

“
Go on. Be hungry. Be selfish. Be greedy. Revel in it.”

Xavier grabbed the lube, and when Carson put his hand out, he squirted a fat glob into his palm. At first he was so self-conscious, it didn’t even feel that good. Like his cock had gone numb, or something. But Xavier found a rhythm, thrusting up into him in an unhurried but relentless onslaught of deep penetrations, mouth ravaging Carson’s neck, and that sent bolts of pleasure shooting down his nerves, into his balls.

And fuck, the way Xavier’s eyes fixed on Carson’s hand sliding up and down his glistening cock, lingering at the head when he teased it with his fingertips. The way Xavier was huffing through the exertion of holding Carson up, of thrusting into him, more and more ravenously, there was a thrill, too, to doing that. Fondling and stroking himself as they both watched, and suddenly, just when he’d started to doubt if he’d be able to, he was coming.

Utterly obscene. Utterly beautiful, that surprising, exuberant arc of semen, then the less violent eruption of white avalanching in thick globs down his cock, so meaty looking, red and shiny.

“Fucking gorgeous,” Xavier growled by his ear, already thrusting harder, faster, fucking to come. Even delirious from his climax Carson was awed by the incredible power of that body holding him suspended, vigorously fucking as if he would never run out of energy and strength. Then his thunderous groan as he came, lowering Carson down onto his cock, belting him there, trembling as he pumped into him, wringing his pleasure out drop by drop with each desperate, quivering thrust. Ravenous, demanding, Xavier caged and turned Carson’s head so he could devour him in a consuming kiss.

Xavier was just about to lock up when he noticed Carson crossing the street, heading toward the shop. As soon as Carson stepped inside, Xavier felt the momentous weight of a big, dangerous moment. He composed a stoic expression, garnished with a subtly playful grin, just in case there was a chance of plugging the dyke. Not saying anything, just standing there, gazing at him meaningfully, Carson looked nervous, but so happy it pained Xavier.

“You all done for the day?” Carson asked.

“
Just locking up.”

Carson glanced around. “No one else is here?”

“No.”

God, Carson had the sweetest, most true smile of anyone Xavier had ever known. Especially lately.  When Carson started to undress, Xavier kept his relief out of his expression. Maybe dialed the flirty grin up a couple notches. Carson had just come to play. Thank God.

So damned endearing, the way he stripped himself bare, still so sweetly shy, but even that rosy blush didn’t camouflage his arousal at Xavier watching him take everything off. Xavier curved his hands against his lithe waist, slid his palms over his hips, cupped his luscious round ass, and pulled him to him, pressing him tight against his pelvis and his rising cock. He bent. Touched the underside of Carson’s soft, pink upper lip with his tongue. Then nursed. Then let his want drag him down, down, down into a deep kiss.

Funny how suddenly the urge to fuck could take you hostage. Xavier pivoted them a hundred and eighty degrees and drove Carson toward the back. Toward the padded table. He was already picturing how he’d bend him over it, how he’d lift one of Carson’s knees up onto the edge of the table to give himself full access.

Thank Christ he’d been propositioned enough at the end of his sessions that he kept lube and condoms on hand. Of course, Carson would have brought them, anyway. But now Carson’s things were in a heap by the door at the other end of the shop. Xavier dug into the bottom drawer of his tool cart and got what he needed.

Strange how startled Carson looked. What did he think was going to happen when he walked into the shop after hours and bared that beautiful body, head to toe, like a sacrificial offering? Even his kisses were as shy and tremulous as they’d been that first night in the hotel. Their reconciliation fuck.

But he yielded to every touch so fucking sweetly. Sighing and clinging to him as Xavier buried his nose in his soft waves of hair and sniffed his delicious scent, as he tasted his skin, bit and sucked his flesh. Smooth, tender neck. His stubble-rough jaw. Those unbearably succulent lips.

Big blue eyes wide and startled. Not frightened. Just overwhelmed.

Carson looked like he was on the verge of confessing some long-endured, terrible sadness, but he said, “I can’t believe how fucking good I feel with you. Like you let me out of a sensory deprivation chamber I lived in for twenty-seven years.”

Wild and weird, the tickling heat expanding through his core as Carson said that to him. He didn’t have words. All he had was his hunger.

He could have gone on forever, sucking his swelling lips, fucking his mouth with his tongue, greedily drinking up the way Carson was writhing in his arms, the way their kiss muffled Carson’s fraught groans. But Xavier wanted his nipples, too. The sensation of his tender flesh growing denser, gradually firming, the rising up against his tongue was a fucking siren call to Xavier’s dick, making it ache and strain against his fly. And those sweet whimpers, too. His chant, hardly more than breaths, of “Please, please, please.”

The pungent salt of that tear leaking from his engorged cock head. Fuck, Xavier could lick him, suck him forever, sated and ravenous at the same time. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he took Carson, bent over, splayed open, another breathless incantation of, “Please, please, please,” voiced in time to the pulse of his hips.