Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Crumpled Capers (4 page)

As the Big Folk farmer jumped into the tractor and started up the engine, one large log rolled off the back and fell heavily to the ground.

Timmy spotted his chance and jumped on top. He rocked it backwards and forwards until it began to roll.

And roll …

“Rock‘n'roll!” shouted Timmy gleefully, running on top as the log rolled along.

“Woooohoooooo!” he squealed as it got faster and faster.

The log sped down the hill, but it was heading straight for the gang.

As the log trundled on, Timmy saw a Big Folk cycle towards him.

“Oh no!” he panicked, just as the cyclist lifted his head and saw the huge log in his path. He swerved just in time and landed in a ditch.

“Phew, that was close!” Timmy breathed a sigh of relief. But his worries were not over yet as the log crunched through the frozen puddles towards the fence at the far end of the lane, gathering even more speed.

The gang, who were rummaging amongst the wheelie bins for scraps of food, heard the sound of ice cracking and a thundering rumble. Pogo Paws looked up and saw the massive log, with Timmy on top, coming closer and closer. He bounced quickly out of the way, yelling to Pickle to do the same.
Lennie, who had his nose stuck in a half-empty tin of Buddy Bites, heard the shouting and, just in time, jumped into the bin.

Snif was nowhere to be seen.

The log hit the fence with full force and came to an abrupt standstill.

All was quiet. Timmy looked around him.

One by one, the gang emerged from cover to see Timmy leap off the log proudly.

“Ta da!” said Timmy with his paws held out. “I did it! Here's your stick. Now, can I join the gang, please?”

The gang was speechless.

“Er … where's Snif?” asked Timmy.

The gang pointed nervously to the massive log behind Timmy.

A clump of white fur was sticking out from underneath. In the silence, he heard a long low groan.

The log shifted slightly as two weary paws appeared over the top. Snif sprackled out from underneath and hauled himself upright.

Timmy cowered.

The gang glowered.

Snif glared.

Catching his breath, Snif yelled at Timmy: “So, is this your idea of a stick? Is this some kind of joke?”

“I couldn't see you. I didn't know you were there. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it. I thought you wanted a stick, so I brought you a stick,” cried Timmy.

Snif pulled some splinters from his paws and brushed himself down. The gang rushed to help him tidy his scruffy fur.

“Right!” yelled Snif. “This stops now. You're trying to make a fool of me.”

“No, I'm not,” said Timmy defensively.

“Okay, I have one final task for you. And if you don't manage it without some sort of tomcat-foolery, then you can forget
ever
joining my gang.”

“Oh, goody! How about
Mission Impossible?”
suggested Pogo Paws bouncing up and down.

“Yes, let's make it a
really
tough one, boss,” snarled Pickle.

“What
is
the task then?” asked Lennie.

“Zip it, Lennie!” said Snif, who was still trying to figure out a challenge big enough for the irritating moggie.

Without warning, Timmy sneezed his biggest sneeze yet, and saturated the gang.

Pickle looked at Lennie and pointed to her umbrella.

“See? That's a snot shield, Lennie. I was thinking ahead.”

As the gang wiped themselves down, Timmy said:

“I know why you're doing this, Snif.”

“Doing
what
?” Snif huffed.

“Setting me impossible challenges; tasks you think I can't do, so that I can never join your gang. Badger the Mystical Mutt said it's all a misunderstanding.”

“Badger the Mystical Mutt said
what?”
spat Snif viciously.

“He just explained why you don't want me in your gang. I'm a cat. It's as simple as that. And cats and dogs aren't supposed to get on together.”

“Correct, Timmy! And by the way, you probably know this, but cats don't like water much either.”

Snif booted a nearby garden tap with his paw and after a few spurtles and gurtles, a hosepipe sprang into life, releasing fierce, icy jets of water.

“Time for a shower, Timmy! Get him, gang!” yelled Snif.

Pogo Paws and Pickle sprang forwards and grabbed
Timmy's front paws. Snif nodded to Lennie to hold down his back legs.

Snif stood cruelly over the little cat and fired the coldest spray of water over him.

Snif cackled. Pogo Paws and Pickle sniggered, Lennie quivered and Timmy cried out.

“It's f-r-e-e-z-i-n-g. Please stop!”

But Snif would not stop.

Back in his garden, Badger was staring hard at a pile of breadcrumbs that had been left out for the birds, thinking of a spell which could turn them into toast when, suddenly, screams pierced the icy air, followed by spine-chilling cat calls and screeches.

“That's Timmy,” panicked Badger. “Uh oh, I need to go.”

He sped through the crack in the fence and raced down the lane.

There, at the far end, he saw Timmy pinned to the ground by Pogo Paws, Pickle and Lennie, while Snif stood over him, firing water from a hosepipe.

“Oi!” shouted Badger. “Leave him alone. Let him go!”

The gang looked up, startled. Snif swirled and pointed the nozzle at Badger.

“Oh, it's the meddling mutt. Here, have some of this,” he snarled.

Badger gasped as the icy cold water drenched him.

“Stop, stop, stop!” he pleaded. “Too cold.”

“Oh, I'm
sorry
! I thought you wanted to join in the fun. After all, you're so clever at telling Timmy why he'll never be able to
join the gang,” said Snif.

Timmy shivered. Pogo Paws tightened his grip, Pickle sniggered and Lennie asked, “Can I let go yet? I'm freezing.”

Snif looked over his shoulder at Lennie and sighed.

Badger stood dripping. His neckerchief was soaked through.

“Maybe we need to hang you both out to dry. Get them, gang,” ordered Snif.

Pickle and Pogo Paws let go of Timmy, ran to Badger and marched him into the nearest garden where a whirligig stood. Snif caught Timmy by the scruff of the neck and followed, with Lennie trailing behind.

“Now, let's get you pegged up,” said Snif, as the gang hoisted them both up on to the whirligig.

Pogo Paws, with four pegs in his teeth, bounced up and pegged them to the line.

“Goodbye, boys,” jeered Snif and the rest of the gang, as they ran off, leaving Badger and Timmy dangling.

Badger looked at Timmy. Timmy looked at Badger.

“Any Badgical-Magical spells to get us out of this one?” Timmy asked hopefully.

“Erm, I might just have an unpegging spell that could work … if I can remember the words,” said Badger.

“Get thinking then, and fast. Otherwise
we're going to become icicles.”

Badger closed his eyes and wrinkled his nose. Soon sparkles of light appeared around him. He uttered the spell:

“Peggie Weggie Whirligiggle
,

Free your grip so we can wriggle
.

Get us dry and spin us round
,