Bang Gang (30 page)

I made up with Jimmy O over drinks at the Drum. We shook hands and grunted apologies and bought each other pints in the usual way of it. No hard fucking feelings and all that shit.

Rutting Eleanor Hartwell always seemed to put the guys in good spirits. Talk of Jodie was off the menu and I kept it that way. No point dwelling on it now. It was already done.

I put a lid on it, but the whole fucking thing was a barrel of shit. I’d be raging one minute, wanting to face off to every single one of them for going anywhere near her, and the next I’d be in the garage toilet, jerking one off to the thought of her face as she came with her eyes on me and another guy’s dick in her pussy.

Just as well I was taking a break from the Bang Gang business, I couldn’t trust my dick to play ball if I’d wanted to. It had a mind of its fucking own these days.

I handed Buck the black book and he stared
at me, raised his eyebrows.

“What’s this for?”

“What do you think?” I said. “Knock yourself out, book in whatever you fucking like. This week, next week, sometime never. I don’t give a shit.”

He didn’t look convinced. “And you? You planning on joining in or what?”

No.

I shrugged. “I’ll play it by ear. Might be there, might not be.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “I’ll let the guys know. If you’re sure?”

Not really.
I pictured the piles of notes I’d be adding to the university box if I could sort my pissing head out.

“I’m sure.”

“Alright,” he said.

“Alright,” I said.

And it was done.

I contemplated just texting her. A
did that mean shit to you?
text that would set my mind at rest one way or the other, but every time I pulled my phone out Lorraine’s stupid smug face put me off again.
It’s embarrassing
.
Christ, Darren, she’s long over you. Let it go, have some dignity.
I thought about them laughing over me at the cafe, Jodie brushing it aside and hoping I didn’t get the wrong fucking idea about her little Bang Gang splurge.

No fear, I wouldn’t be getting the wrong fucking idea. I’m not that much of a soft fucking twat.

At least Lorraine was sorting Petey out. The guy had the permanent balls-emptied kind of grin that we’d all had at some point or other while she was on the scene. Me first, right in the beginning, before we were even a group act. Even the thought of it now gave me the shivers.

“Mum’s getting a tent,” Ruby announced one night after school. She was sitting on a pile of tyres, sucking on a cherry pop while her sister caught up on Facebook in the office.

I stuck my head out from the Citroen’s engine. “That right
?”

She nodded, a big toothy grin on her face. “And Tonya might be coming. Not Nanna, though, Mum says if we put her on an airbed she’d never get back up again.”

I smiled at the image of Nanna slumming it in a sleeping bag. “Your mum might well have a point there,” I said.

“Will I be able to help? With the cars?”

I let out a sigh. “Not sure, Rubes. It’s not like round here, it’s pretty fast, all hectic like while the racing’s going on.”

“But I can help! I can be fast!”

“I know you can,” I smiled. “I’ll make sure you get to see enough of it, don’t you worry.”

“Can I sleep in your tent?”

I thought of the lads along with me, the fact that Buck was already planning to throw a sleeping bag in my tent to save setting up his own. “Probably best you stay with your mum,” I said. “She’ll be worried otherwise.”

She didn’t argue.

I wondered if it meant anything, Jodie coming. Jodie’s never been interested in Rally in her life.

But Ruby was.

Ruby wasn’t interested in a whole lot else.

It was almost certainly for Ruby’s sake and not for mine.

I picked up the girls on Saturday morning, and Jodie seemed shifty, nervous even.

“Good week?” she asked.

I nodded. “Alright. You?”

“Yeah, average,” she said. The girls piled into the truck and I went to follow them but she called me back. “I’m out tonight,” she said. “First time in ages. Just a night in town with Lorraine and Tonya.”

Lorraine.
The thought hit me in the gut.

“Have fun,” I said.

She sighed. “It’s just… I haven’t been out before… not for so long… not so far away…”

“Girls will be fine,” I said.

“It’s not that,” she said. “It’s Nanna. You couldn’t… if she called, I mean. Could you keep an ear out, in case the club’s too loud for me to hear my phone?”

I smiled. “I’ll always keep an ear out for Nanna, Jo, you know that. Any problems she can call me, I’d be straight round.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. “I mean, she’s fine, it’s just sometimes she gets a bit dithery. Her pills are above the sink, the green bottle. Mia’s got a spare key.”

“I know,” I said. Ruby beeped the horn, let out quite a racket. “I promised them a drive out,” I said. “Told them we’d get some lunch up on the Beacons.”

“Nice,” she said. “You’d better go.”

You could come, if you wanted. You and Nanna.
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them.

“I’ll be seeing you,” I said. “Have a good night.”

“You, too,” she said.

I was glad I’d had a couple of glasses before we’d hit the town. The place was so much louder than I remembered. Girls that didn’t look much older than Mia drifted about the streets in miniskirts and no sleeves without a care – even in October. I was absolutely freezing in my bodycon dress, my legs goose-pimpled to hell, even though I was wearing a coat.

Lorraine laughed at me. “You feeling your age?”

“I’m feeling something,” I said.

“Get another drink down your neck, you’re still in your twenties, still young enough pull off young, free and single with authentic flair.”

“I have mere months left of my twenties,” I said. “It barely counts.”

She leaned in, wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we crossed the road towards
Club Crystal.
“I’m forty-nine years old,” she said. “Forty-fucking-nine. What I’d give to be thirty all over again. I sure wouldn’t waste it being married to a dickhead like I did last time round.”

Tonya laughed, flashed a grin over her shoulder. “You should go on the pull, Lorraine, plenty of guys love a cougar. You’ll be hot property in here.”

I looked at Lorraine, checking her out as cougar material. She’d definitely pass. Her dress was tighter fitting than mine, her heels higher than mine, too. Her hair had thick blonde highlights over shades of mahogany – a posh salon job, for sure. Her makeup was dramatic but not over the top.

Yes, Lorraine was definitely cougar material.

“I might well pull me a hot young stud,” she laughed. “Or two.” She nudged me. “How about you, Jodie, are you out to meet yourself a fine young man?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I said in a beat.

“No?” she raised her eyebrows. “Why ever not?”

Tonya smirked back at me. “She’s already taken, mentally if not physically.”

I wished she hadn’t had that extra vodka on the way in. I shot her a glare to stop her running her mouth off.

We arrived in the queue, and Lorraine wouldn’t let it go. “You can’t surely mean Trent?” she said. “Please tell me you’re not still pining over that useless imbecile.”

“I’m not pining,” I said. “I’m over it.”

She stared at me. “You’re sure about that?”

I nodded. “Yes.”
No
. “I have the girls to think about, we’re all good as we are. No point rocking the boat with any of that.”

“And that’s putting aside the fact the guy’s a man-whore. For heaven’s sake, Jodie, he’s fucking every paying woman within driving distance. He’s hardly
daddy
material, is he?”

I met her eyes. “Darren’s a great dad. He’s a lot of things, but a crappy father isn’t one of them.”

“If you say so.” She laughed. “I admire your loyalty, but the guy’s nothing more than a filthy waster. Those girls would be better off without him.”

I stepped away from her. “Those girls would never be better off without him, Lorraine, that’s too far.”
And neither would I.

She held up her hands. “Jesus, Jodie, I’m only half serious. You know how I feel about Darren Trent. You know how I feel about what’s best for you.”

Yes. Yes, I did know.

“Trent’s alright,” Tonya chipped in. I could have hugged her. “Got his issues but show me someone who hasn’t. Ain’t not one of us angels, Lorraine, you included. I’m sure your shit stinks just the same as the rest of us.”

“Point taken,” she said, but she didn’t look like she’d taken any point on board. She lit up a cigarette and flashed Tonya a smile that was clearly false. “You must have been there when it all fell apart, Tonya, as I was. You must have seen how much better things were for Jodie and the girls when it was all over.”

“I saw two people breaking their hearts over losing each other. Two people breaking their hearts that their girls wouldn’t have their daddy at home.
That’s
what
I
saw, Lorraine.” She lit up a cigarette herself. “No winners in a situation like that, only losers.”

I wished I smoked. I could have happily puffed away on a whole bloody pack.

“It’s all over now.” I smiled. “Let’s just get dancing, shall we? Forget about Darren and the bloody village for one night, at least.”

I didn’t even wait for a consensus, just hit the bar as soon as we’d checked in our coats.

Tonya leaned in when Lorraine nipped off to the toilets. “I don’t like it,” she said. “There’s something off with her.”

I shook my head. “She’s just looking out for me, that’s all. She only got one side of it when I split up with Darren, she hardly knows him.” I squeezed her arm. “She’s just on team Jodie.”

“
I’m
just on team Jodie,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean I think Trent’s a total fucking tool.”

“You
know
Darren,” I said. “She doesn’t.”

“Not convinced,” Tonya said. “I think she’s acting sketchy, there’s something
about her I don’t like.”

“You don’t like anyone,” I laughed. “You think everyone’s got an agenda.”

She winked. “Everyone
has
got an agenda, I just like to know what it is before I decide I want to bosom buddy it up with them. Lorraine’s cagey with hers. We don’t know shit about her, not even after all these years.”

I scoffed. “I do.”

She shrugged. “Do you? About her home life? Has she had a boyfriend? Got a boyfriend? Wants a boyfriend? Why did she get divorced? What’s she been doing since? Do you know any of this stuff?”

“She
sees
people,” I said. “Just casual. She doesn’t really talk about it.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Cagey.”

“Dating websites probably. She’s probably embarrassed.”