Barbara's Plea (14 page)

Back downstairs, there were only four officers standing, and the woman from what I assumed was a child welfare office was talking to Gloria. Allie had the bear curled up tightly in her arm.

“Is there any way we can keep her here?” I asked as I approached the two women.

“I’m sorry, sir. I have to bring her back to California.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll put her in the car for you. I want to make sure she is strapped in properly.”

“Of course,” she turned to walk out. I glanced at Gloria, tears welled in her eyes.

“Go call her attorney,” I said to her, “and get him over here now.” Gloria nodded and moved off down the hall faster than I had seen her move recently.

Outside, I walked Allie to the car, “Allie, honey, you’re going to go for a ride. I want you to be a good girl, and Mommy and I will see you soon.”

“No, Gay.” She threw her arms around my neck, almost choking me, like the emotions weren’t enough.

“Allie, honey, I know you want to stay, but I will see you soon. I promise, little button.” I opened the back door and got her into the seat while she screamed and bucked against the seat belts. The whole time I fought to control the sobs that were filling my chest.

“You take good care of bear,” I whispered after I had locked her in. My voice cracked and I forced myself not to let the tears flow in front of her.

She wailed as I shut the door, and I had to finally turn away. The sound of another car engine caught my attention. A marked police car drove off with Barb in the back, her head hung down.

The tears began to fall, and as the car with Allie drove down the driveway, my knees crumpled and I fell to the ground.

E
very morning
I woke up feeling on top of the world, and the moment I left the safety of Grey’s arms, my feet would touch the ground and gray clouds would begin to descend over me.

Todd had been too quiet. I was on pins and needles wondering what he was up to. Carl had been in contact with me every few days, but as of yet he had heard nothing either. We had to wait until Todd did something before we could react. He had refused to sign the divorce papers, and we were now in a stalemate.

When the police showed up, I was not surprised. Well, I was and I wasn’t. I was shocked that Todd would really have me arrested, but I never really imagined he would have me arrested for kidnapping a child that he didn’t want to have anything to do with. I knew he was only doing it to hurt me in my greatest weakness.

Every fear I had ever had about what he would do to her flashed through my mind when they told me they were taking Allie back to California and putting her back in his custody.

He was lucky he was not here, because if he had been, I would have tried to kill him with my bare hands.

I saw the panic in Grey’s eyes as he took in the scene. It was the same panic I felt, but somehow I was able to hold it in.

Grey appeared to be in physical pain when he stared into my face. I wanted to tell him it was going to be alright, but I no longer thought it was. They were taking me back to California, and I was going to jail. My stomach rolled so much I thought I would vomit.

Grey took Allie in his arms and the sight melted away the last of my strength as they led me away. The cold metal wrapped around my wrists felt as if it weighed a ton, and my shoulders sagged.

Grey would get the audio files to the attorney before the police could get their hands on them. I wasn’t sure if they would do any good, but I could only hope.

I sat in the police car and waited while the officer spoke with another officer outside the car. I could see the front door from where I sat and watched as Allie and Grey approached another car. Grey put Allie in the back, I could hear her screaming, and each burst was a knife through my heart.

As he stood up, I could see it all inside his eyes: His heart was broken. He loved Allie like his own daughter and having to force her to leave with someone else was killing him. I sobbed as we pulled away.

I had tried so hard to find freedom for Allie and live a good life. I had found a man that I could see having a wonderful life with—a man I had fallen in love with.

I should have told him.

He knew. He had to know.

Panic filled me as I thought that maybe he didn’t know. No, calm down, I told myself, he knows. You have shown him every night for the past two weeks. He knows.

He had to know—but would he want a woman like me when this was all done and over? Now that was another question entirely. I had to believe that he would. That was all I had left to hold on to as we drove slowly along the roadway leading toward an unknown destination.

I ended up being taken to the local police department and processed as a fugitive. As they rolled my fingers on the print machine, I felt numb. The pictures they took of me probably looked as dead as I felt.

I was put into a cell and told that I would be arraigned in front of a judge and then transferred to the prison to await extradition to California.

The clang of the doors rang through my head. I stared at the cold metal bench and the matching toilet in the corner. Was this my future? I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself as I sank down onto the unforgiving bench and leaned back against the cold cement wall to wait.

It wasn’t long before they called me forward and sat me in a chair to face a computer. A judge came on, asked me a few questions about who I was and other personal information, and then stated that since there was a one million dollar bond on me from the State of California, I would be remanded to the local prison until I could be transferred. I would not be given a chance to post the money here, not that I had it to post anyway.

I was returned to the small cell and locked back inside where a thousand horrifying memories smothered me as I waited. An hour later, a leather waist band was put around my stomach and my hands were cuffed in front. Shackles were placed on my ankles; the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I shuffled out to the waiting van.

There were two other prisoners in the van, both men. No one said anything as we made the drive, and as the van stopped at the first gate to the prison, panic filled my chest.

How had I gotten here? How was it fair that I was trying to protect myself and my daughter and instead we were ripped apart and I was locked up? Where the hell was the justice?

I was led out of the van and into a waiting area. Prison guards joked amongst themselves, and I stared vacantly at the wall wondering what was going to happen next.

The most horrifying part of the whole process was being told to strip naked and put my clothes in a bag. I was searched from head to toe and in places I had never expected to be searched. It was almost more violating than what Todd had done to me.

After I was told to shower, I was given sweatpants, a t-shirt, white underwear, socks, and flip flops. I looked like a homeless person as I was ushered down a long hallway carrying a sheet and a blanket.

I had no idea what questions I had been asked, or what my answers had been. My mind was not my own. I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes or even raise my chin from my chest. Once my cell door was shut, I set my things on the bed and lay down, not even unfolding them.

Within minutes, my body totally shut down, and I fell asleep.

The next morning, I was awakened by the slamming of a door and the sound of a key in the lock. “You must be pretty important if they are rushing the extradition on you.” The heavyset female guard stated as she pulled the door open.

“Why?” I asked as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

“Normally, people are here for several days or weeks before they are sent back. You are being seen in front of a judge today and being sent back right away.”

“Do I get a chance to make a phone call?”

“No, sorry, but I think I heard someone saying your attorney was going to be at the courthouse waiting for you.”

I nodded and followed her out of the cell. Since I was going to be transferred out, they allowed me to change back into my clothes.

I slipped the slacks on and thought about how it had been only a day since I had climbed out of Grey’s bed feeling on top of the world. Now, I was in the lowest echelon of hell.

The trip to the courthouse was fast, and I was taken to yet another cell. They all looked the same now, some were just larger than others. Carl, my attorney, showed up and explained that I should sign the papers immediately and get back to California to get everything moving. The faster we did it, the faster it would all be over.

I didn’t argue with that and signed where he told me. An hour later, a new belt and cuffs were put on me, and I was told they would not shackle me as long as I behaved.

I stared incredulously at the one officer. Did I look like a violent person? Within a few minutes, I was taken out of the courthouse and put into another police car. Two officers delivered me to the airport where I was handed off to yet another two other officers who wore plain clothes. We were shuffled through the security area with lots of paperwork and credentials being shown. Once past security, they led me to a private seating area and let me sit in the corner alone.

They hadn’t said much, and I knew better than to start a conversation. I leaned against the cold glass window and watched the planes land and take off—business as usual. My entire life was in upheaval, yet the world kept spinning—business as usual.

An hour later, they walked me to the plane, and we boarded before anyone else. Lots of people glanced at me furtively and whispered with the people beside them. I was sure they were wondering what kind of crime I had committed, but I didn’t care. I was still numb. My only thoughts were questions, ones that couldn’t be answered.

What was Grey doing now? Where was Allie? The thought of Allie being with strangers shook me to the core, and I bit my lip to keep from sobbing. The two officers, or detectives, as I had learned, allowed me to sit by the window. I closed my eyes and tried to shut everything out.

I slept most of the flight, more to avoid my situation than due to fatigue. We waited until everyone was off the plane, and once again I was paraded through the airport. A marked patrol car waited out front, and I was seated between the two men on the ride to the police station.

No one said much to me until we arrived at the station. There, I was Mirandized for the fourth time and asked questions about myself. They were strictly for my arrest and had nothing to do with the case, so I answered them.

Once again, I was placed in a cell and told that I would see a judge the next day. In the morning, they handed me a cold egg sandwich and a bottle of water. I left the sandwich on the bench and finished the water. The only thing more mortifying than being paraded through the airport was having to use the toilet in this open space.

While there was no one across from me in the cell block, there were others in the area. One of the guards told me I was lucky it was a quiet night, or I might have had to share the cell. As if I cared. I was practically oblivious to everyone and everything around me.

An hour later, a female officer came to let me out. I was getting used to how things went, hands cuffed at the waist, legs shackled. Then a long walk down a hallway and into another van and—what do you know?—another freaking holding cell at the end of the line.

This one was larger with several benches around the edges and a single scary-looking toilet in the corner. I sank down on the only bench that wasn’t occupied.

I had no idea what was going to happen. I hadn’t bothered to ask. I knew that somehow, sometime, I would get to speak with my attorney.

I glanced around the cell, a lot of the women were roughed up, most dressed scantily, and I assumed they had probably been arrested for prostitution. One tried to talk to me, but I just glanced her way and looked back down at my cuffs.

They called us one by one. Sometimes the people would come back, sometimes they didn’t. I wondered which one I was going to be.

They finally called my name, and I left the cell and was taken by the arm down a hallway. A man dressed in a suit was standing near a door and straightened up when he saw me.

“Mrs. Murphy, I’m Ken Smallwood. Your grandmother hired me to be your attorney. We spoke on the phone a few weeks back.”

“Yes, I remember, Mr. Smallwood. What’s going to happen now?”

“This is just a bail hearing. I’m going to try and get you out on bail, but with the charges, they might not allow that. Whatever happens in there, I need you to trust me and stay quiet.”

I nodded in agreement. I had nothing to say.

The door opened, and I was ushered into a large room. There were two tables up front and rows of benches in the back. The judge sat on a high platform behind a dark-stained wood bench.

I glanced around and saw Grey and Gigi on one of the benches. The sight of Grey almost broke me. He had come all the way to California for me. I blinked back tears and turned to the bench when the judge began to talk.

“This case is the State of California versus Barbara Murphy. How does your client plead?”

“Your Honor, Mrs. Murphy pleads not guilty,” Mr. Smallwood spoke from beside me, his voice loud and clear.

The judge glanced at me, his eyes trailing from my head to my waist before he looked back down at his papers.

“She will be remanded to the county prison until such time as her preliminary hearing.”

“Your Honor, Mrs. Murphy has no criminal record, and I can attest that she will remain here to comply with all instructions. There is no need for her to be kept in jail.”

“Mr. Smallwood, your client kidnapped a child, pretended to be someone else, and ran to the other side of the country. I understand that she is from a very wealthy family, and I’m not willing to take a chance on her disappearing. She will remain in custody.”

I hadn’t expected any differently. I hung my head as I was guided out of the room. I didn’t even have the energy to turn back to look for Grey or Gigi.

Once outside the room, Mr. Smallwood spoke to the officer who was with me, “I’d like to speak with my client alone.”

We were ushered to a small room that contained a table and four chairs. I sank down in one, feeling totally defeated. I looked up at my attorney expectantly. Mr. Smallwood set his briefcase on the floor and pulled out a chair. “I understand there were some serious things going on at home that made you make this particular decision. I’m going to need to know everything.”

“How far back do I need to go?”

“To the beginning, but not now. I’m going to go out and speak with your family. Then I will come by the jail later this afternoon. You are going to have to tell me everything so I can decide how to proceed.”

I cocked my head, suddenly concerned about something, “Do you know my husband?” I didn’t know anything about this man. What if he was friends with Todd?

He nodded, “I know exactly who your husband is. He’s the son of a bitch who was sleeping with my wife before I divorced her.” He paused and his eyes softened, “I also heard the audio recordings, all of them.” I hung my head, embarrassed that someone had to listen to what I had endured. “Trust me, Barb, I’m on your side, and I’d like nothing more than to wipe the smug smile off your husband’s face.” The vehemence in his voice could not have been faked.

I nodded, “I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

“I know these conditions aren’t ideal, but hopefully we can get this taken care of quickly. You are a priority case right now, and I’ll do everything I can do for you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Smallwood.”

“Ken, you can call me Ken. Let me go talk to your family, and I’ll see you later. Is there anything you want me to tell them?”

What could I possibly say to them? How could I even explain to either of them how sorry I was that I had caused all these problems? I couldn’t. “Not right now,” I replied softly.