Bath Tangle (13 page)

‘Oh, I did not! Rotherham sent it to me in a parcel by the mail! I never thought to be so much obliged to him! He says nothing else is being talked of in town, which I can well believe.’

‘
Rotherham
sent it to you?’ he ejaculated, as much astonished as displeased.

‘Yes, why not? Oh, are you vexed because he has written me a letter?’ Serena rallied him. ‘You need not be! Not the most jealous lover, which I hope you are not, could take exception to this single sheet! He is the worst of letterwriters, for this is all he can find to say to me:
My dear Serena, In case it has not come in your way I send you Lady C. Lamb’s latest attempt to set Society by the ears. She succeeds
à merveille.
Nothing else is talked of. The Lambs hoped to be rid of her at last, but W. Lamb stands firm. By the by, if Glenarvon’s final letter in this singular effusion is a copy of the original, you will agree I am eclipsed in incivility. I have some thoughts of visiting Claycross, and may possibly come to Bath next week. Yours, etc. Rotherham.
You will agree that there is nothing to rouse your ire in
that
!’ Serena said, tossing the letter on to the table. ‘Except,’ she added thoughtfully, ‘that I had as lief he did not come to Bath. He would be bound to discover our secret, my love, and if he should be in one of his disagreeable fits there’s no saying how awkward he might not choose to make it for us. I’ll fob him off.’

‘I could wish that you would not!’ he replied. ‘For my part, I would choose to admit him into our confidence, if only that I might have the right to inform him that
I
am
not
very much obliged to him for sending you a novel which you describe as “rather warm���!’

‘Good God, if that is the humour you are in, I will most certainly fob him off!’ she cried. ‘How can you be so absurd, Hector? Do you believe
me
to be an innocent Calantha? Rotherham knows better!’

‘
What?
’ he demanded sharply.

‘No, no, pray – !’ Fanny interposed, in an imploring tone. ‘Major Kirkby, you quite mistake – Serena, consider what you say, dearest! Indeed, your vivacity carries you too far!’

‘Very likely! But it will be well if Hector learns not to place the worst construction upon what I say!’ Serena retorted, her colour considerably heightened.

He said quickly: ‘I beg your pardon! I did not mean – Good God, how could I possibly – ? If you were
not
an innocent Calantha, as you put it – now, don’t eat me! – I am persuaded you would feel as strongly as I do the impropriety of
anyone’s
sending you such a book to read! Throw it away, and let us forget it! You cannot like to see your friends libelled, surely!’

‘Now, this goes beyond the bounds of what may be tolerated!’ declared Serena, between vexation and amusement. ‘
My
friends? The Melbourne House set! Do you take me for a
Whig
? Oh, I was never so insulted! I don’t know what you deserve I should do to you!’

A playful rejoinder would have restored harmony, but the Major’s strong sense of propriety had been too much offended for him to make it. He took her up in all seriousness, endeavouring to make her enter into his sentiments. She grew impatient, thinking him prudish, and only the entrance of Lybster, bringing in the letters which had been fetched from the receiving-office, averted a lively quarrel. Serena broke off short, saying coolly: ‘Ah! Now, if my aunt has written to me, Fanny, we may learn whether Lord Poulett marries Lady Smith Burgess, or whether it was nothing but an
on-dit
! Good gracious! Between us, we have seven letters, no less!’ She handed several of them to Fanny, and glanced at the superscriptions on her own. A gleam of mischief shot into her eyes; she cast a provocative glance at the Major. ‘I can guess the subject of most of
my
correspondence! It will be as well if I don’t break the wafers until you are gone, I daresay! You will not object, however, to my seeing what my aunt has to say. A great deal, apparently: I’m glad she was able to get a frank, for I should have been ruined else!’

He made no reply, but walked away to the window, looking very much displeased. Suddenly Serena uttered a little crow of laughter. ‘Oh, Hector, you are utterly confounded! No, no, don’t look so stiff! It is the funniest thing! My aunt writes to tell me that
she is
sending me
Glenarvon
! She says I shall be
aux anges
over it!’

It was too absurd. In spite of himself, he laughed. She stretched out her hand to him, smiling, and he kissed it, muttering: ‘Forgive me!’

Her fingers pressed his. ‘Oh, fudge! Such a foolish
tracasserie
as it was! Now, let us see what my aunt has to say to me! Lady Cowper looking hagged and frightened: I don’t wonder at it, and shall shed no tears! I believe she has been Lady Caroline’s enemy from the start, and think her a false, malicious woman behind those smiles and protestations of hers. Oh, she has been so obliging as to send me a key to the book! Fanny, she thinks Lady Morganet is not wholly a portrait of Lady Bessborough, but has a good deal of the Duchess of Devonshire mixed in it. Well! if one puts one’s husband in a novel, I suppose it would be over-nice to exclude one’s mama and one’s aunt – even if the aunt be dead, and unable to protest!’ Her eye ran down the closely written sheets; she gave a gurgle, but folded the letter, and laid it aside. ‘The rest is mere town-gossip, and will keep. Hector, where is Stanton-drew? I am told I should not neglect to visit it. Druidical monuments, or some such thing. If I engage to sit primly beside Fanny in the barouche, will you escort us?’

He agreed very readily, promised to discover the exact whereabouts of the place, and soon after took his leave. Serena said, as soon as he had left the house: ‘I would not read you the rest of my aunt’s letter while Hector was with us, for he is unacquainted with the people she writes of, and I daresay it would have bored him excessively. My dear, where
did
he learn his antiquated notions? From his mother, I should judge – the very picture of provincial respectability! Poor woman! I pity her – but not more than she pities herself, I fancy! It must be a trial to have such a
volage
creature as I am foisted upon her!’

Fanny, her tender heart wrung by the difficulties she clearly perceived to lie in the Major’s path, said: ‘Indeed, Serena, you did not behave as you ought! I could not but think that his feelings upon this occasion did him honour!’

‘Could you not?’ Serena said, surprised. ‘I thought they showed him to be imbued with some pretty Gothic notions! But never mind that! My aunt writes me an enchanting description of the Laleham-woman’s progress – or regress! I don’t know which it may be! Only listen!’ She picked up Lady Theresa’s letter, and read aloud: ‘
It is now impossible to avoid meeting that Laleham-Creature, who is everywhere to be seen. You would have been diverted to have been a spectator of the comedy enacted last week at Mrs Egerton’s party. The Creature was there, with Miss Laleham – who, though well enough, is not, in my opinion, pretty
au fait de beauté
and in high croak. The D. of Devonshire coming in, she took care to place herself in his way, claiming to have made his acquaintance at the Salmesburys’ Cotillion-ball, and overwhelming him with simpering civilities. But he, not hearing a word, as you may suppose, favoured her with no more than a bow, and some indifferent response, and passed on. She was obliged to fall back upon a mere Marquis – Rotherham, who was so complaisant as to remain by her for some ten minutes, and to take notice of Miss Laleham. His attention then being claimed by Mrs Martindale, the descent of the Creature down the social ladder was rapid, not a single Earl being present, and the only Viscount Lord Castlereagh, whom she did not attempt,
pour cause.
A handful of paltry barons, all of them married, reduced her to the level of an Esquire, after which, she retired, I must suppose, disconsolate.
A propos,
Cordelia Monksleigh is thrown into rage by the Creature’s having dropped her, she says, because her usefulness ended with her procuring for the Creature the invitation-card to the Rotherham ball; but I suspect the cause is farther to seek, Master Gerard having become vastly épris during the Easter vacation. Reason enough!
That
connection would by no means suit the Creature’s ambition, nor Cordelia’s either, if she had but the wit to perceive it.
’ Serena lowered the sheet. ‘You will own that my aunt, whatever may be her faults, is the most entertaining correspondent, Fanny! What would I not have given to have been at that party – ! You know, if the Laleham-woman should have written to Mrs Floore, boasting of her friendship with Devonshire, I doubt if I shall be able to convince the dear old lady that although his Grace may be as deaf as a post, he is neither cross-eyed nor an octogenarian! As for attempting to persuade her that the Creature might as well lay siege to one of the Royal Dukes as to him, or to Rotherham, for that matter, I shall not do it! It would be too unkind! She believes there does not exist a man who would not fall instantly in love with Emily! Would you not have liked to have seen Rotherham caught in the toils? I think it no more than his just desert, for having attended that Quenbury Assembly!’

Fanny assented to it, but absently. Serena put up the letter, saying: ‘I must think of some way of stopping Rotherham’s projected visit to us. A pity! After the insipidities of Bath, his caustic tongue would come as a relief. However, in the mood Hector is in, it will not do. I shall be obliged to write an excuse so thin as to put him in a passion.’

She went away, not perceiving the expression of startled reproach in Fanny’s face. What, in fact, she wrote to Rotherham she did not disclose; but a few days later she received a brief note from him, read it with raised brows, and said: ‘Well! I have succeeded in my object. Rotherham does not come.’

Fanny could almost have believed her to be disappointed. The note was torn up, and Serena began to talk of something else.

Fanny herself was profoundly relieved. If Rotherham should dislike the match, as she feared he would, he would not scruple, she thought, to treat the Major with wounding contempt. Her imagination quailed at the scene; she felt that she could almost have interposed her own shrinking person between the Marquis and his prey; and was thankful that for the present, at any rate, this deed of heroism would not be necessary. She did not know that Fate had another trial in store for her. Her father arrived in Bath, without invitation or advertisement.

He was ushered into the drawing-room in Laura Place when, as ill-luck would have it, Major Kirkby was with her. She was not precisely discomposed, but she was certainly startled, and jumped up with a cry of: ‘Papa!’

He embraced her kindly enough, but his countenance was severe, and the glance he cast at the Major repulsive.

‘Papa, I had no notion I was to have this pleasure! Oh, is there something amiss at home? Mama? My sisters?’

‘All perfectly stout!’ he replied. ‘I have been spending a few days with my friend, Abberley, at Cheltenham, and while I was in the west I thought I would come to see how you go on.’

‘How very much obliged to you I am! Very comfortably, I assure you! Oh, I must introduce Major Kirkby! My father, Sir William Claypole, Major!’

The Major bowed; Sir William nodded, in no very encouraging style, saying briefly: ‘How d’ye do?’

‘The Major,’ said Fanny perseveringly, ‘has spent some years in the Peninsula, Papa. Only fancy! He thinks he once met my cousin Harry, when they were both in Lisbon!’

‘Ay, did you so? Very likely! Are you on furlough, sir?’

‘I’ve sold out, sir.’

This information appeared to displease Sir William. He said: ‘Ha!’ and turned to ask Fanny how she liked her situation in Laura Place. She was distressed by his evident dislike of her visitor, and could not forbear looking at the Major, to see whether he was as much offended as she feared he must be. She encountered such a rueful smile, so much amused understanding in his eyes, that she was at once reassured and embarrassed. Within a few minutes, he recollected an engagement, and took his leave, saying in an undervoice, as she gave him her hand: ‘It will be better if I don’t ride with Serena tomorrow.’

He went away, and she turned to face her father. He broke in immediately upon her enquiries after the other members of her family. ‘Fanny, how is this? I promise you I thought the whole tale a Banbury story, but, upon my soul, what do I find but that fellow closeted with you!’

‘The whole tale?’ she repeated. ‘What tale, if you please?’

‘Why, that there is some half-pay officer dangling after you, and making you the talk of the town!’

‘It is untrue!’

‘Very well, very well, it appears he has sold out, but that’s mere quibbling!’ he said testily.

‘He is not dangling after me.’

The quiet dignity of her tone seemed to strike him. She had, indeed, never looked more the great lady. He said, in a milder voice: ‘Well, I am happy to receive your assurance on that head, my dear, but I did not expect to find you entertaining a young man tête-à-tête.’

‘Papa, I think you must forget my condition! I am not a girl! If my widowhood –’

‘The fact is, my dear, your widowhood is no protection!’ he interrupted bluntly. ‘I don’t say, if you were older – But you’re little more than a child, and a deal too pretty to rely upon that cap you wear to save you from having advances made to you! I knew how it would be, the instant you informed us you were removing to Bath!’

‘Pray, Papa, will you tell me, if you please, who has had the monstrous impertinence to tell such stories about me?’

‘I had it from that old fool, Dorrington, and you may suppose I did not enquire who might be his informant. I daresay he may have friends in Bath. I gave him a pretty sharp set-down, and let him see I did not relish his style of humour.’

‘Oh, how right Serena is!’ she cried, pressing her hands to her hot cheeks. ‘Of all the odious people in the world there can be none so detestable as the Bath quizzes! I wonder you have not been told that General Hendy is dangling after me!’