She read it. “You can't go,” she said.
“But there's a scholarshipâand I can workâ”
Best of all, I'd be near Tristan. He'd been accepted weeks ago, courted by the coach of the rodeo team. For him, it was a full ride, in more ways than one.
Mom shook her head, and her eyes gleamed suspiciously. I'd never seen her cry before, so I discounted the possibility. “Even with the scholarship and a minimum-wage job, there wouldn't be enough money.”
For years, she'd been telling me to study, so I could get into college. She'd even hinted that my dad, a man I didn't remember, would help out when the time came. Granted, he hadn't paid child support, but he usually sent a card at Christmas, with a twenty-dollar bill inside. Back then, that was my idea of fatherly devotion, I guess.
“Maybe Dadâ”
“He's got another family, Gayle. Two kids in college.”
“You never saidâ”
“He was married,” Mom told me, for the first time. “I was the other woman. He made a lot of promises, but he wasn't interested in keeping them, and I doubt if that's changed. Twenty dollars at Christmas is one thing, and four years of college are another. It would be a tough thing to explain to the wife.”
The disappointment ran deep, and it was more than not being able to go to college. “You led me to believe he was going to help,” I whispered, stricken.
“I thought I could come up with the money, between then and now,” Mom said. She looked worse than I felt, but I can't say I was sympathetic. “I wanted you to think he cared.”
I turned on my heel and fled.
“Gayle!” Mom called after me. “Come back!”
But I didn't go back. I needed to find Tristan. Tell him what had happened. And I'd found him, all right. He was standing in front of the feed and grain, with his arms around Miss Wild West Montana of 1995.
I came back to the here and now with a soul-jarring crash, glaring up at Tristan, who was watching me curiously. He'd probably guessed that I'd just had an out-of-body experience. “You were making out with a rodeo queen!” I cried.
Tristan looked startled. “What the hellâ?”
“The day I left Parable,” I burst out. “I came looking for you, to tell you I couldn't go to college like we planned, and there you were, climbing all over some other girl in broad daylight!”
“
That's
why you left? Your letter said you met somebody elseâ”
“I lied, okay? I wanted to get back at you for cheating on me!”
“I
wasn't
cheating on you.”
“I
saw
you with Miss Rodeo!”
“You
saw
me with an old friend. Cindy Robbins. We went to kindergarten together. The vet had just put her horse down, and she was pretty shook up.”
It was just ridiculous enough to be true.
I
really
got mad then. Mad at myself, not Tristan. I'd been upset, that long ago day, because I'd just learned my dad was a married man and my mother was his lover, and because I wasn't going to college. I hadn't stopped to think, or to ask questions. Instead, I'd gone to the bank, withdrawn my paltry savings, dashed off a brief, vengeful letter to Tristan, explaining my passion for a made-up guy, and caught the four o'clock bus out of town, without so much as packing a suitcase, let alone saying good-bye to my mother.
Rash, yes. But I was only seventeen, and once I'd made my dramatic exit, my pride wouldn't let me go home.
“Hey,” Tristan said, with a gruff tenderness that undid me even further. “You okay?”
“No,” I replied. “I'm
not
okay.”
“There wasn't any other guy, was there?”
I shook my head.
He grinned. I was falling apart, on the street, and he
grinned.
“Bob's not a guy, either,” I said.
“What?” Tristan did the thumb thing again, wiping away my tears.
“He's a vibrator.”
Tristan threw back his head and laughed, then he pulled me close, right there in front of God and everybody. “Hallelujah,” he whispered, and squeezed me even more tightly.
He walked me back to the Lakeside Motel, and I might have invited him in, if the minivan family hadn't been there, swimming again. They smiled and waved, like we were old friends.
“Later,” Tristan said, and kissed me lightly.
With that, he walked away, leaving me standing there with my room key in one hand, feeling like a fool.
I finally let myself in, locked the door, and took a cold shower.
When I got out, I wrapped myself in a towel, turned on my cell phone, and dialed my mother's number. I was expecting the usual redial marathon, but she answered on the second ring. I heard a motorcycle engine purring in the background.
“Hello?”
“Mom? It's me. Gayle.”
She chuckled. “I remember you,” she said. “Are you in Parable?”
“Yes, and you set me up.”
“Sure did,” she replied, without a glimmer of guilt. “The meeting's tomorrow, at Tristan's office. Ten o'clock.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“If you'd bothered to read the documents, you would have known from the first.”
“It was a sneaky thing to do!”
“I'm a mother. I get to do sneaky things. It's in the contract.”
I paused. My mother is no June Cleaver, but I love her.
“How are you?” I asked, after a couple of breaths. My voice had gone soft.
“Happy. How about you?”
“Beginning to think it's possible.”
“That's progress,” Mom said, and I knew she was smiling.
The Harley engine began to rev. Biker impatience.
“Gotta go,” Mom told me. “I love you, kiddo.”
“I love you, too,” I said, but she had already disconnected.
I shut off the phone, curled up in a fetal position in the middle of the bed, and dropped off to sleep.
When I woke up, it was dark and somebody was rapping on my door.
I dragged myself up from a drugged slumber, rubbing my eyes. “Who is it?”
“Guess.” Tristan's voice.
I hesitated, then padded over and opened the door. “What do you want?”
He grinned. “Hot, slick, sweaty sexâamong other things.” His eyes drifted over my towel-draped body, and something sparked in them. He let out a low whistle. “Lake's all ours,” he drawled. “Wanna go skinny-dipping?”
My nipples hardened, and my skin went all goose-bumpy.
“Yep,” I said.
He scooped me up, just like that, and headed for the lake, leaving my room door wide open. I scanned the windows of the motel as he carried me along the dock, glad to see they were all dark.
I'm all for hot, slick, sweaty sex, but I'm no exhibitionist.
The lake was black velvet, and splashed with starlight, but the moon was in hiding. Tristan set me on my feet, pulled off the towel, and admired me for a few moments before shedding his own clothes.
Then he took my hand, and we jumped into the water together.
When we both surfaced, we kissed. The whole lake rose to a simmer.
He led me deeper into the shadows, where the water was shallow, over smooth sand, and laid me down.
We kissed again, and Tristan parted my legs, let me feel his erection. This time, there was no condom. He slid down far enough to taste my breasts, slick with lake water, and I squirmed with anticipation.
I knew he'd make me wait, and I was right.
He turned onto his back, half on the beach and half in the water, and arranged me for the first of several mustache rides. Each time I came, I came harder, and he put a hand over my mouth so the whole world wouldn't know what we were doing.
Finally, weak with satisfaction, I went down on him in earnest.
He gave himself up to me, but at the edge of climax, he stopped me, hauled me back up onto his chest, rolled me under him. He entered me, but only partially, and the muscles in his shoulders and back quivered under my hands as he strained to hold himself in check.
I lifted my head and caught his right earlobe between my teeth, and he broke. The thrust was so deep and so powerful that it took my breath away.
I'd thought I was exhausted, spent, with nothing more to give, but he soon proved me wrong. Half a dozen strokes, each one harder than the last, and I was coming apart again. That was when he let himself go.
I don't know how long we laid there, with the lake tide splashing over us, but we finally got out of the water, as new and naked as if we'd just been created. Tristan tossed me the towel, and pulled on his jeans. We slipped into my room without a word, made love again under a hot shower, and banged the headboard against the wall twice more before we both fell asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, he was gone, but there was a note on his pillow.
“My office. Ten o'clock sharp. After the meeting, expect another mustache ride.”
Heat washed through me. The man certainly had style.
I skipped breakfast, too excited to eat, and at ten straight up, I was knocking on Tristan's office door. The buyers and other owners had already arrived, and were seated around the conference table. Tristan looked downright edible in his slick three-piece suit, and even though he was all business, his eyes promised sweet mayhem the moment we were alone.
The crotch of my pantyhose felt damp.
The negotiations went smoothly, and when the deposit checks were passed around, I glanced down and noticed my own name on the pay line, instead of Mom's.
“There's been a mistake,” I told Tristan, in a baffled whisper.
“No mistake,” he whispered back. “Josie signed the whole shooting match over to you.”
I stared at him in disbelief.
The meeting concluded amiably, and in good time. Everybody shook hands and left. Everybody but Tristan and me, that is.
Tristan loosened his tie.
I quivered in some very vulnerable places.
“Ever made love on a conference table?” he asked. He locked the door and pulled the shades.
“Not recently,” I admitted.
“Not even with Bob?”
I laughed. “Not even with Bob.”
Tristan took the check out of my hand, damp from my clutching it, and drew me close. He felt so strong, and so warm. “If you plan on having your way with me,” he said, “you're going to have to make a concession first.”
“What kind of concession?”
“Agree to stay in Parable.”
I loosened his tie further, undid the top button of his shirt. “What's in it for me?” I teased. I thought I knew what his answer would beâafter all, it was burning against my abdomen, practically scorching through our clothesâbut he surprised me.
“A wedding ring,” he said.
I tried to step back, but he pulled me close again.
“It seems a little soonâ” I protested, but my heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out from behind my Wonder bra.
“I've been waiting ten years,” he answered. “I don't think it's all that soon.” He caught my face in his hands. “I loved you then, I love you now, and I've loved you every day in between. The engagement can be as long or as short as you want, but I'm not letting you go.”
My vision blurred. My throat was so constricted that I had to squeeze out my “Yes.”
“Yes, you'll marry me?”
I nodded. The words still felt like a major risk, but they were true, so I said them. “I love you, Tristan.”
He gave me a leisurely, knee-melting kiss. “Time we celebrated,” he said.
I took the lead. Forget foreplay. I wanted him inside me.
I unfastened his belt and opened his pants and took his shaft, already hot and hard, in my hand. And suddenly, I laughed.
Tristan blinked. Laughter and penises don't mix, I guess.
“I was just thinking of Bob,” I explained.
He groaned as I began to work him with long, slow strokes. “Great,” he growled. “I've got a hard-on like a concrete post, and you're comparing me to a vibrator.”
I teased him a little more, making a circle with the pad of my thumb. “Ummm,” I said, easing him into one of the fancy leather chairs surrounding the conference table and kneeling between his legs.
“Oh, God,” he rasped.
“Payback time,” I said.
He moaned my name.
I got down to business, so to speak.
Tristan took it as long as he dared, then pulled me astraddle of his lap, hiked up my skirt, ripped my pantyhose apart, and slammed into me. I was coming before the second thrust.
That's the thing about a flesh-and-blood man.
They never need batteries.
Chapter One
“One last weekend,” insisted Ted Brayley, the Darbys' long-time friend and now their divorce lawyer, facing the couple across the gleaming expanse of his cherrywood desk. “Just spend one weekend together, at the cottage, that's all I'm asking. Then, if you still want to split the proverbial sheets, I'll file the papers.”
Joanna Darby sat very still, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw her soon-to-be-ex husband, Teague, shift in his leather wingback chair, a twin to her own. Distractedly, he extended a hand, not to Joanna, but to pat their golden retriever, Sammy, sitting attentively between them, on the head.
“I don't see what good that would do,” Teague said. At forty-one, he was still handsome and fit, but he was going through a major midlife crisis. He'd sold his highly successful architectural firm for an obscene profit and bought himself a very expensive sports car, and though there was no sweet young thing in the picture yet, as far as Joanna knew, it was only a matter of time. Teague was a cliché waiting to happen. “We've settled everything. We're ready to go our separate ways.”
Ted sat back, cupping his hands behind his head. “Really?” he asked, with a casual nod toward Sammy. “Who gets custody of the dog?”
“I do,” Teague responded immediately.
“Not in this lifetime,” Joanna protested.
Teague looked at her in surprise. It always surprised Teague when anybody expressed an opinion different from his own; he was used to calling the shots, leading the charge, setting the course. Somewhere along the line, he'd forgotten that Joanna didn't work for him. “
I
was the one who sprang him from the pound when he was a pup,” he argued. “He's my dog.”
“Well,” Joanna answered, making an effort not to raise her voice, “
I'm
the one who house-trained him and taught him not to eat sofas. I'm the one who walked him every day. I love Sammy, and I'm not about to give him up.”
“Joanna,” Teague said darkly, “be reasonable.” Translation:
Agree with me. You
know
I'm always right.
“I'm tired of being reasonable,” Joanna said, examining her unmanicured fingernails. “I'm keeping the dog.”
Teague rolled his blue eyes and, shoved a hand through his still-thick, slightly shaggy dark hair.
A corner of Ted's mouth quirked up in a smug little grin. They'd both known Ted since college, and they both trusted him, which was why they'd decided to let him handle the divorce. Now Joanna wondered if a stranger would have been a better choice, and Teague was probably thinking the same thing. “I guess you
haven't
settled everything,” Ted said. “Sammy wouldn't be the first dog in history to be the subject of a custody battleâbut would you really want to put him through that kind of grief?”
“Joint custody, then,” Teague grumbled, a muscle bunching in his cheek. “We'll share him. My place one week, Joanna's the next.”
“Oh, right,” Joanna scoffed. “I'd never see him unless you had a hot date.”
Sammy whimpered softly, resembling a forlorn spectator at a tennis match as he turned his head from Joanna to Teague and back again. He wasn't used to harsh tonesâthe Darby marriage had slowly caved in on itself, by degrees, after Teague and Joanna's only child, Caitlin, went off to college. There had been no screaming fights, no accusationsâor objectsâflying back and forth. This was no
War of the Roses
.
It might have been easier if it had been.
“One weekend,” Ted reiterated. He gestured toward Elliott Bay, sparkling blue-gray beyond his office windows. “You've got that great cottage on Firefly Island. When was the last time you went out there, just the two of you? Walked the beach? Sipped wine in front of the fireplace? Really talked?”
Joanna felt a sharp pang, remembering happier times. She hadn't been to the cottage in monthsânot once since she'd holed up there the previous summer, after Caitlin's wedding, to finish her latest cookbook, with only Sammy for company. Teague had gone on a sailing trip, off the coast of Mexico. It had been a lonely time for Joanna, endurable only because she'd been buried in work.
Now Teague got up from his chair, went to the windows, and stood with his back to the room, looking out over downtown Seattle and the waters beyond. “Are you a divorce lawyer or a marriage counselor?” he muttered.
Sammy started to follow Teague, paused in the middle of the spacious office, then turned uncertainly to look at Joanna.
She blinked back sudden, burning tears. Gestured for Sammy to go ahead, to Teague. Instead, he came back to her and laid his muzzle on her lap with a sad sigh.
As Joanna watched her husband, an unexpected question popped into her mind.
When did we lose each other?
She'd loved Teague Darby since her first day of college, when he'd knocked on her door in their coed dorm and introduced himself. They'd married early in their senior year at the University of Washington, and Caitlin had been born a week after graduation. Joanna, having majored in business and intending to attend culinary school after college and eventually open her own restaurant, had happily set aside those plans to stay home with Caitlin and help Teague start his company. The early years had been hard financially, but he'd worked out of their converted garage behind their first tiny house, and they'd been happy.
So happy.
They'd given Caitlin a secure, sunny childhood. While they'd both wanted more children, it simply didn't happen. The disappointment surfaced only occasionally; after all, they had a beautiful daughter, a good life together. What more could two people ask for?
And they'd loved each other passionately.
There had been no single inciting incident, no affairs, no traumas, nothing like that.
As the company grew, expanding at a breathtaking rate, so did the demands on Teague's time. They'd moved into progressively larger houses until they'd finally ended up in a mansion on Mercer Island, hired a housekeeper, and entertained lavishly. But they'd still had time for each other, even then. They'd
made
time.
Secretly, Joanna had always thought of the cottage as home, not the mansion. And the idea of going to Firefly Island for a last weekend with Teague broke her heart. They'd both been living in the main house, Teague on the first floor, Joanna on the second, and the place was so large that avoiding each other was easy. It would be more of a challenge at the cottage.
“If you won't do this for yourselves,” Ted said evenly, “or for Caitlin, then do it for Sammy. The poor dog is beside himself.”
Since Teague's back was still turned, Joanna took the opportunity to dry her eyes with the back of one hand. Sammy looked up at her with limpid brown eyes, imploring.
“I'll do it,” Joanna said, resigned.
“Okay,” Teague said, at exactly the same moment.
Ted consulted his watch. “The next ferry leaves in an hour,” he said.
“An hour?” Joanna marveled. “But I'd need to pack a bagâand Sammy's foodâ”
“You have clothes at the cottage,” Teague reminded her, “and there's a supermarket on the island. I'm sure they carry Sammy's brand of kibble.”
Joanna opened her mouth, then closed it again. The truth was, she'd gained five pounds since her last visit to the cottage, and she wasn't sure her island clothes would fit. Since she was too proud to admit that, she decided to take her chances. Most likely, the experience would be a total bust anyway, and she and Teague would both be on the next ferry back to Seattle. She probably wouldn't even be there long enough to need a toothbrush.
Teague made that pretty much of a sure thing when he added, “Come on, Sammy. Let's get this over with.”
Inwardly, Joanna seethed.
Ted gave her a sympathetic look as she rose. Teague and Sammy were already on their way out, though the dog paused every few steps, looking back, clearly waiting for Joanna to follow.
For Sammy's sake rather than Teague's, she did.
Leaving the suite housing Ted's office, they took the elevator down to the underground lot, where Teague's sports car was parked alongside Joanna's stylish but practical compact.
Rather than subject Sammy to another debate, Joanna didn't insist that the dog ride with her instead of Teague. The ferry terminal was only minutes away, and once they were aboard the large, state-operated boat, the ride to Firefly Island would take less than half an hour.
Teague had the top down on his high-powered phallic symbol, and Sammy loved an open-air ride, whatever the weather. Although the morning had been pristinely sunny, one of those days that seem to mock Seattle's reputation for unrelenting rain, the sky was darkening now, its gray tone reflected by the choppy waters of the bay.
In the old days, Joanna thought, with a quiet sigh, she and Teague wouldn't even have considered taking two cars to the cottage. If Caitlin was going along, she'd have had at least one friend with her, and they would have all crammed themselves into Teague's big SUV. On the occasions when Sammy and Caitlin stayed home, in the expert care of the recently retired Mrs. Smills, their housekeeper, they would have stayed in the car for the short duration of the crossing, willing the boat to go faster.
Back then, as soon as the front door of the cottage closed behind them, they'd have left a trail of clothes behind them, laughing as they raced for the bedroom.
Joanna waited in the short line of cars just behind Teague and Sammyânot as many people heading for the island as there usually were on Friday afternoons, she thoughtâpaid her fare when her turn came, and drove into the belly of the ferry.
They practically had the whole boat to themselves.
Joanna waved reassuringly to Sammy, who responded with a doggy grin, but Teague sat staring straight ahead as though they were strangers, he and Joanna, not two people who had raised a child together.
She leaned back in the car seat and closed her eyes. Ted's heart had been in the right placeâhe hoped she and Teague would reconsider, of course, and decide not to go through with the divorce. Maybe he figured they'd fall into each other's arms, alone in a romantic island cottage, and rekindle the old flame that had once burned so brightly that it glowed within both of them.
When had it gone out?
The last time she and Teague had made loveâweeks ago, nowâthey'd both been satisfied, but nothing more. Two bodies, colliding, responding reflexively, biologicallyâand then drawing apart. Afterward, Teague had quietly left their bedroom and gone upstairs to sleep in one of the guest rooms.
Remembering, Joanna felt humiliated all over again.
She went to the gym three times a week, but she was forty-one, after all, and soft all over, a little saggy in places. And even though she tried to watch what she ate, she was forever testing recipes for her cookbooks, and that involved a lot of tasting.
Hence the extra five pounds.
Was it the extra five pounds?
A brisk rap on her driver's side window startled her, and she turned to see Teague peering in at her.
She had put the key in the ignition in order to operate the power windows, and she'd done it before she realized she could have simply opened the door.
“I'm going upstairs for some coffee,” Teague said, unsmiling. “Want some?”
“No,” Joanna said. “Too late in the day for me. I'd be up half the night.”
That familiar muscle in Teague's jaw tightened again. “Right,” he said. “Keep an eye on Sammy while I'm gone, will you?”
“Of course,” Joanna replied. As soon as Teague had made his way to the steel staircase leading to the upper deck, she got out of her car, crossed to Sammy, and stroked his silky golden head. The water was a little rough that day, and Joanna felt slightly queasy.
Boats, even cruise ships, made her seasick.
Teague loved anything that floated, and dreamed of building a craft of his own.
Just one of the many things they
didn't
have in common.
When Teague returned, carrying a steaming foam cup in one hand, Joanna got back in her own car.
Within a few minutes, the captain blew the horn, which meant they'd be docking on Firefly Island soon.
Joanna's spirits rose a little at the prospect of being at the cottage again, even though the place was probably full of dust and in need of airing out. But Teague would build a fire on the hearth in the living room, and she would brew tea in the old-fashioned kitchen, and if nothing else, they could talk about Caitlin or Sammy.
Or they could not talk at all, which was the most likely scenario.
Since it had begun to drizzle, Teague hastily raised the top on his sports car while the first cars to board started off the boat. Sammy seemed to droop a little, as if disappointed.
The cottage was several miles from the ferry terminal, which was little more than a toll booth on that side of the water, and Teague led the way along the narrow, winding road, passing the supermarket without even slowing down.
Irritated, Joanna pulled into the lot, parking as close to the entrance as she could, and dashed inside to buy kibble, coffee, a toothbrush and paste, and the makings of a seafood salad.
By the time she arrived at the cottage, Teague had turned on all the lights and built a fire. With a grocery bag in each arm, Joanna plunged out of the car into the rain, now coming down hard, and dashed for the front door.
Just as she reached it, Teague flung it open and Sammy burst through to greet her, almost sending her toppling backward off the small porch.