BBW ROMANCE: Forbidden Desires [BBW Menage Collection] (New Adult Shifter Romance Short Stories, Stepbrother Menage Threesome) (5 page)

Chapter 4 - Second Guessing

I woke up in the middle of the night, Justin’s arm draped over my naked belly, feeling full of regret and doubt. My stomach was tied up in knots and I knew I was going to be unable to fall back asleep. All my thoughts from earlier came crashing back to me, making me wonder if I had made the right decision. I couldn’t help but feel like what we had done was wrong and that we just weren’t meant to be. I kissed Justin’s cheek as softly as I could and he smiled adorably in his sleep. I quietly rolled over and tiptoed out into the living room, where I gathered my clothes, purse, and keys, and let myself out the front door. The moment I shut the door behind me, my heart broke. Earlier that night, I had felt like my life was just beginning. It seemed like that joyous future was already gone.

Part 2

Rapids

Chapter 1 - Trying to Forget

              Three months later, I woke up with tears on my face. I was used to it now. It happened to me all of the time, because of the dreams. I dreamed about Justin just about every night. It was like my unconscious refused to accept that nothing else was going to happen with him, and we continued to have a life together in my dreams. They had started off very sexual, and I would wake up feeling frustrated and confused, looking for him by my side, wanting to finish. Then they turned into us just doing everyday things together, getting beers after work or going for hikes on the weekend. I had dreams where we got married, and even dreams where we had a couple of kids tripping over our feet. One time, we had a black lab puppy. The dreams were my only reprieve from the depression that seemed to overshadow everything since that night three months ago. I hadn’t told anybody about it, of course not, I was ashamed. But Henry still knew that something was wrong, and that it was related to a guy, but even he couldn’t get exactly what had gone wrong out of me.

At first, Justin had called and texted constantly. The morning after, I’ll never forget, he had left me the sweetest voicemail, still full of hope:

              “Hey, Ellie, where are you?” he had started, his voice sounding vulnerable and upset, “did you get sick or something? I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed our time together last night, and I keep getting goosebumps thinking about what our future could hold. Call me back, okay? I…. I really hope everything is okay. I can’t lose you, El.” It took all of my strength of will not to call him back immediately and excuse myself. It took even more strength to not listen to the message on repeat. Even so, I listened to it a lot. It wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t help it. He continued to call and text me over the next two weeks, but they eventually faded off. His last message was heartbreaking, and I wanted so badly to respond, but I knew it was better this way. It said, “El - Okay, message received. I’m sorry if I did anything to scare you away. I’m sorry again for all I did the past few years. Maybe I’m even sorry for inviting you over that night if you’re reacting this way. I wish nothing but the best for you. I miss you.” She had to admire his poise, and the fact that he never got angry or used harsh words with her. God, it hurt. Every message made me cry uncontrollably, and yet it was even worse when they stopped. I would stare at my phone, waiting to receive a message from him. Still, three months later, I wanted nothing but to call him and apologize and pick up where we had left off, but I just couldn’t. I dreaded the day we would have to see each other again, but I already had plans to skip the next few Christmases, at least.

Chapter 2 - A Reminder

              The next day, I got a call from my dad. He knew things had been rough for me for a while, but he had no idea why. He did a great job of not pushing it, of not asking too many questions, but still making it clear that he was there for me. He was calling to remind me about a camping trip that had been scheduled a while ago, that was coming up in just two weeks. Crap, I had totally forgotten about that. There was no way I could go. Him and my step-mom were celebrating their ten-year wedding anniversary and wanted to go rafting down the Deschutes river in eastern Oregon to celebrate. We had done it a few times before, and I loved it. The rapids were exhilarating, the water refreshing, and my mouth was already salivating over the idea of hot dogs, s’mores, and ice-cold beers everyday for a week.

“Of course,” my dad said, cutting into my thoughts, “we’re very disappointed because Justin won’t be able to make it. A work think came up, I guess. But the rest of the gang is all in! Do you want to drive up with us?”

My heart leapt with joy as my stomach simultaneously sunk, part of me had wanted my dad to twist my arm into coming, despite Justin being there. Now, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting out of it or seeing him. But I also would not get to see that handsome face glistening with perspiration, one leg hanging over the side of the raft, his muscular arms holding tight onto an oar. Ugh, I had to stop thinking things like that. The mental image enough was enough to make me feel horny and like I was going to cry at the same time.

“Ells? You there?”

“Yeah, sorry, dad. I’d love to ride up with you guys. Can’t wait.” 

Chapter 3 - An Unexpected Visitor

              With my arm hanging out the window of my dad’s car and my hair blowing in the wind, I closed my eyes and felt the rays of the sun on my face. I felt good. Like, really good. I felt like I just might be able to start getting over Justin, or at the very least enjoying life. It was summer, I was headed to one of my favorite places in the world, and life was good.

We arrived at the campground a few hours later and set up our tents. I left my dad and step mom to start cooking dinner and went for a walk down by the river. I heard children laughing and smelled crackling fires and once again felt almost happy. It was the first time I had felt this way in such a long time, and it felt good. I couldn’t wait to take on the rapids early the next morning. I sat down on the embankment and pulled out my book, a collection of short stories that Henry had lent me by some French author. It was good, and I lost track of time. I had my feet in the water, and watched the sun begin to sink. I noticed my  stomach rumbling and decided to make my way back to the campsite to see how dinner was coming along.

As I approached, I heard what sounded like a familiar voice. I knew it was just my imagination, as I heard and saw Justin everywhere I went. Just wishful thinking that our relationship was possible and that he was here with me. But my goodness, it did sound just like him. Once at the edge of the campsite, I could no longer deny my ears. Or my eyes. Standing just twenty feet in front of me was Justin. Just as handsome as ever, his skin more tanned than the last time we had seen each other. I immediately regretted driving here with my dad, I was officially stuck. I felt frozen; I didn’t know if I should turn around and immediately hitch-hike back to Portland, or if I should bite the bullet and try to handle it. Before I could make the decision myself, my dad saw me.

“Ells! You’ll never believe who surprised us! Come on over and say hi.”

I walked over as slowly as humanely possible without seeming too weird. “Hey, Justin. That’s nice you could make it in the end.” Those 10 words were the hardest thing I’ve ever had to make come out of my mouth while keeping my cool. Inside, I wanted to die. It hurt so badly to see him.

“Nice to see you, Ellie. It’s been too long,” He approached me and I tensed. I wanted to drop dead right then. He gave me a side-hug. It was the most brotherly thing in the world, and yet it made me feel like I was about to catch on fire. I found myself once again wanting to both burst into tears and jump his bones at the same time.

“Want a hot-dog, Ellie?” My step-mom cut in, “they’re ready,” she said, extending her arm with a plate of food towards me.

“You know, I’ve had a long week and I think all of that sun got to me. I don’t feel so great, but I think just a good night’s sleep will do the trick. Sorry to be a party pooper,” I said all this while slowly backing towards my tent, and brushing off everyone’s expressions of concern. Thankfully, I had a tent all to myself. I waved goodnight to everyone and zipped myself inside. 

Chapter 4 - Time for a Swim

Of course I didn’t sleep that night. I stayed up all night listening to the sounds of everyone enjoying a good time, and the sounds of all my family and friends getting progressively drunker. Good, I thought, I can have the morning to myself. I stayed up into the late hours of the night, alternatively trying to read and trying to not think about the fact that I was stuck with Justin for the next week. I kept breaking into bouts of silent tears. Exhausted from so much crying, I finally dozed off to sleep.

A few short hours later, I woke up when the first rays of the sun entered my tent.

I decided that a cold dip in the river would refresh me, and maybe make my puffy eyes a little less so, so I donned my bikini, grabbed a towel, and made my way out of camp. Just a little ways up the river there was a little cove, a place that had long been my favorite secret swimming hole and place to think. It was for the most part hidden by trees, but it got its fair share of sun and was hidden to all but the most observant.  Sometimes while I was in the city I would even think about it, closing my eyes and envisioning the clear, cold water and imagining that I was there instead. I put down my towel, peeled off my sun-dress, and looked around. It was just before six, and I was sure no one would be around for a good hour or two. I decided to let myself bathe nude, hoping that the river water would maybe heal my inner wounds just a little bit. I untied my bikini top, slipped out of my bottoms, and laid them on top of my towel. I walked up to a rock just about fifteen feet above the water, and took a swan-dive into the swimming hole. I dived deep, using my momentum from the dive to swim into the depths of the profound little pool. I emerged, already feeling more clear.

The cold shock was amazing. I could not think of anything besides the frigid water that was touching every inch of my person. I treaded water, then floated on my back, my eyes closed. I was still freezing, but could not imagine getting out of the water just yet. I slowly opened my eyes, and as my vision came into focus, I saw him. Somehow, I was not the least bit surprised. He was standing up on the same rock I had jumped from just five minutes earlier, and he too was entirely nude. Somehow, I didn’t feel anxious. The water had calmed me, and I knew that everything would work out fine. I continued treading water as Justin, who seemed not to see me, gracefully dived into the pool. He surfaced, and threw back his hair, the drops flinging off of it and hitting my face. He looked at me and broke out into a huge grin.

“Time for a morning swim, huh?”

I looked straight into his blue eyes, which now matched the color of the water around us. I wasn’t nervous, but someone I couldn’t say anything. He gave him a little bit of a smile, and gave him an inquisitive look.

“Look, Ellie,” he said, his voice trembling, I don’t know if it was from the cold or from nerves, “I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I came here. I’m sorry I told our parents that I wasn’t, but I knew you would never show up if you believed I would be here. I couldn’t stand the thought of not ever seeing you again. I’m sorry I followed you here, but when I heard you open your tent this morning I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to talk. I just wanted to know why. I’ve been going crazy these past few months, you can’t imagine. I’ve been so sad. I’ve been so confused. I don’t understand what happened that night and… and… the worst part is, ever since you didn’t answer that first call the morning after, I’ve been sure of something. I’ve been sure that I’m completely, one hundred percent in love with you, and there’s been nothing I could do about it.” His eyes had started to fill with tears about halfway through his little speech, and mine were doing the same. He was so sincere, so genuine, but I still couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth.

“Please,” he said, “say something.”

Here was the reason I hadn’t reached out to him after so many months, I knew when the moment came, I would melt. I had no self-control left. I swam two strokes to be next to him, took his face in my hands, and firmly kissed him. At first he was adorably surprised, but he quickly caught on and kissed me back. I wrapped my legs around him, letting him keep us both afloat and we continued to kiss each other. It was like no time had passed at all. I pulled back and we both laughed.

“I’m freezing,” I said, “should we get out? Maybe put some clothes on?” I said, freeing him from my leg-lock.

“Race you to the edge!” He said, and swam away.

We got out of the water and dried off with my towel. Still naked, I walked up behind him and encircled him in my arms. I placed my head on his shoulder, which I noticed for the first time was covered in a large tattoo of fir tree silhouettes. I traced it with my fingers. “I love this,” I said, pressing my lips to the outlines. Justin turned around and held me at arm’s distance. “Ellie, let’s put our clothes on. I think we need to talk.”

We both redressed ourselves and sat with the water lapping at our feet. I felt a little bit apprehensive, not knowing how I was going to answer the questions that he had every right to ask of me.

“What happened, Ellie? I’ve been in emotional turmoil for the past three months.”

“I guess I just freaked out. It seemed like we could never be together, like our parents would hate it and… and it all seems so silly now. Who cares what they think? We aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s not like we are actually related.” Justin looked over and smiled at her. He scooted closer and put his hand on her thigh. “I feel exactly the same way, Ells. What do you say we try this thing for real?”

In response, I leaned over and kissed him again. He took me in his arms, and snaked a hand under my dress. He found my underwear and slithered them off. I took the opportunity of his hands being busy to free him of his cargo shorts. We both stepped out of our undergarments, and started kissing in earnest. I took his ear in my mouth, gently sucking on his lobe until he sighed with pleasure. I took his member in my other hand, and started massaging it. At first slowly, then with more intensity. “Ellie,” he sighed, “I need you. Now.” He grabbed my leg and lifted it up, placing it on a rock near us. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my neck and my breasts, filling me with fire, as he used one hand to guide his thick cock inside of me. We moved together for a while like that, before he picked me up, just like that night months ago, and placed me on a sun-soaked flat rock.

“I want to taste you,” he told me, pushing himself off me and making his way for my vagina. I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up to kiss me. “Not so fast,” I answered, going up on my knees and pushing him down onto his back. “I want to taste you, too,” with that I straddled his face and began sucking him off. It was difficult at first, he was so skilled with his tongue that it distracted me. I thought at first that I was going to come instantly, it felt so good. But I held on, and tried to focus on my task. I wrapped my fingers around his cock, working them up and down, as I let my mouth focus on the tip. I heard him groan with pleasure as I did so. He slid two fingers into my pulsating vagina, and that was just about it for me. “Oh, Justin,” I sighed and let myself ride the waves of pleasure that he was giving me. I somehow continued to suck his dick, and realized that he, too, had reached his limit. I wrapped my lips tightly around his cock and welcome the stream of pure pleasure that was entering my mouth.