Be in the Real (6 page)

As she drew closer to her destination another odd flutter appeared in her belly. She wasn’t sure if it was fear, excitement or anticipation, only that it made her feel jangled. Kaila wondered if everybody felt like this when they were about to have sex, or if it was just her.

 
Though she predicted many of the events that occurred in her daily life, she had been given no clues on what would happen with Norm. She wasn’t sure if her exclusion from knowing this future made her happy or sad, only that it was the reality.
 

The hallways were empty, making the slight squeak of her white tube socks on the linoleum more noticeable. When she spotted the door of the storage closet at the end of the hallway, her stomach gave another flip. Kaila ignored it; it was what she did when her body gave her signals that were mixed up. Her body was telling her to feel fearful, turn around and go back to her room, yet there was absolutely no reason for her to feel that way. She had seen it happen on too many occasions to allow mindless drivel to affect her reality; fear was nothing unless you let it have its way. And if you were so weak to allow it to take control, to give in and curl into a ball of anxiety, frightened of everything in your world, then you deserved whatever you got.

The door to the storage closet cracked infinitesimally just before she reached it. She noticed Norm’s blade sharp nose poke out and wondered how long he had been waiting, also how close to 2:00 p.m. she was. It would have been easy enough to check the watch strapped to her wrist, but if she had done that it would have spoiled the spool of anticipation that was ready to unwind in her. Norm spotted her moments later. He locked on her with the precision of an expert marksman. His brows knit together in a peak and he mouthed the words
holy shit.

Kaila was a little taken aback by his over-the-top reaction, but when she recalled that she had applied a hefty amount of Pauline’s makeup, she had more of an inkling why he was watching her with such keen interest. As soon as she was a few feet from the door, Norm swung it wide, motioning for her to hurry up. Kaila moved past him, giving him as wide a berth as she could manage. The door clicked behind her just as she crossed the threshold.
 

The place reeked of industrial cleaner and fabric softener. There was little space for them to move amongst the roller-wheeled racks that were piled high with clean linens folded into stiff squares, and scrubs in various colors. As well as an assortment of buckets, mops, and the cleaning supplies that the staff used to sanitize Wildwind, work coveralls in brilliant yellow, hung lifelessly on hooks jutting from the far wall.
All sorts of storage
might have been a more apt name for the space, as it seemed everything the place used to run was contained in the minute area.

Kaila trained her gaze on the makeshift bed that lay on the only free piece of floor. Box weave cotton blankets were piled one atop another, and a mound of towels formed a kind of pillow. Norm had been busy. His attention and care in making their escapade perfect didn’t go unnoticed by Kaila. Though she had no idea what it was, something flickered inside her, like a spark that was so small that she wasn’t sure if it would start a fire or blow out.

Kaila brought her full gaze to Norm. He too looked miles different from normal. He had combed his hair flat to his head; something in all his time in Wildwind she had never seen him do. He wore a black tee that was snug on his petite frame that managed to accentuate how truly scrawny he was. To make matters worse he wore black skinny jeans that made his runners look like boats on his feet. A scent of aftershave clouded the air, though this smell spoke of old men shuffling around, not twenty-two year old guys, she still appreciated his effort. Despite the oddity of his look, Kaila quite liked his attempt at grooming himself. An image of a couple of chimpanzees picking tics from each other’s fur formed in her mind for a fraction of a second.

“So how are we going to do this?” Norm asked.
 

There was an uncharacteristic wariness in his tone, as if he was unsure of himself. Once again Kaila found herself appreciating him, more than she had expected to. Prior to walking into the closet she had felt the whole operation was more of an experiment, where there were no emotions attached just the sexual act. Now she felt warmth push into her heart, but also a slight pain because he would be leaving her forever in a couple of days.
 

“Well, you’re going to put your penis into my…”

Norm released an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

 
“I know that part of the procedure Kaila, its how we’re going to do it when you hate when people touch you, because as far as I know there’s going to be a lot of touching involved.”

 
This too she had predicted, she smiled because the fix was easy. If she did the touching then everything would work out just fine. At least that worked most of the time.

“I’ll touch, you receive.”

Norm scratched his stubble free chin. Even more warmth worked into Kaila, knowing that Norm had shaved for their meeting.

He shrugged.
 

“Okay, you’re the boss,” he said.
 

He folded his arms, waiting for instructions.

“Take all your clothes off so I can see your body and your man parts,” she said.

Norm shot her a sideways grin.
 

“Now they’re called my man parts not my…”
 

He chuckled and shook his head. “Never mind.”

He kicked off his shoes. His socks were stained and his big toe poked through the right one. He tugged his t-shirt over his head revealing his bare torso. Though Kaila had known that he was skinny, she hadn’t known how very emaciated he was until he was half-naked. The absence of flesh on his upper body, the small bumps of his biceps that were the size of Ping-Pong balls, or how his stomach was concave, didn’t faze her. Norm was showing her his body and all she could do was be grateful for his gesture.

He unbuttoned his jeans and zipped down the fly, pushing them down his thighs. His legs reminded Kaila of the chicken drumsticks that they served at dinner, except Norm’s legs were covered in dark hair from the top of his thighs right down to his ankles. It seemed odd that he would have so much hair on a body that was so boyishly small.

“I’m going to get to see you too right?” Norm said after he had kicked his pants to the side. He stood in a pair of navy briefs that pulled tight against the lump that was his penis.

“Okay,” Kaila said.
 

Without fanfare she pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. She stood there for a moment, allowing Norm to study her body. His arms moved instinctively until his hands were inches from her plain beige Wonder bra that was stretched from wear, and slightly smaller than she needed. When she had been given the bra a few years back she had been a C-cup. She had gained a few pounds since then and now her breasts were somewhere in the middle of C and D. She could have asked for a new bra, but she hadn’t bothered. In Kaila’s opinion it wasn’t necessary to replace the garment unless a strap or a clasp broke.
 

She reached behind her and undid the clasp; sliding the bra down the length of her arms until it too dropped to the floor between them. Kaila noticed with amusement that Norm’s penis had taken on more shape in his underpants. She smiled, knowing that she had played a large part in activating his body. Her sweatpants came off next.

“Nice, even better than I pictured,” Norm said, bobbing his head up and down.

“You pictured my bare breasts?” Kaila said.
 

She had predicted much of their encounter, but had never imagined that Norm had wondered what lay beneath her clothes.

“More times than I can count, they’ve played the starring role in more than a few of my…” He paused as if gauging what to say next.
 

“Yes, I’ve pictured them,” he said in a husky voice, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Kaila felt a blush work up her cheeks, past her hairline, then down the base of her skull. Since nothing much ever embarrassed her, she found her reaction as odd as the idea that Norm had been thinking about having sex with her, even before she had started imagining it. It also made her wonder who had been first to come up with the idea, and if her mind had affected his like ESP, planting a thought into his brain, or if it had been vice versa. Questions filled her mind and as was the case with her more times than not, she became lost in the thickness of her subconscious.
 

“Hey, Kaila, are you still with me?”
 

Norm’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Yes, I’m here,” she answered, still a little disjointed after her trip away.
 

As odd as it felt, for a few moments she had allowed Trillian to take up residence in her body, which itself was crazy since she didn’t have her computer and Trillian usually abided the rules, and only came out when she had it.

“We should probably move this along, it’s not like we can be in here forever, eventually someone will come looking for us, meds are in less than an hour.

“I am Trillian,” Kaila said without provocation. Norm stared at her oddly.

“But you can’t be Trillian, you don’t have your computer?”
 

It felt strange that Norm would know this about her. Nobody usually knew this much about her, or so she thought. She wondered if Trillian was playing tricks on her.

Kaila shook her head and felt Trillian fade back into her mind.

 
“I know, but somehow I am,” she said.

“Take off your underpants,” Kaila said, shifting the subject away from something that didn’t have an easy answer. She knew that if she spent too much time thinking about how Trillian had shown up she would once again lose her place; she wasn’t sure how rapidly she would find her way back.

Norm obeyed her immediately, pulling his briefs down to his knees before he let them dropped to the floor. He kicked the balled up fabric to the side and for the first time since Kaila had met him, Norm looked vulnerable, like a newborn puppy that was searching for its mother’s protection. As soon as she was comfortable with Norm’s muted demeanor she shifted her gaze to his penis.
 

She had never seen a penis in real before then. She hadn’t expected him to have the same size appendage as the men she had watched having sex on online porno, but she had expected more. Certainly not the Vienna sausage size member that lay partially erect, below a triangular patch of thick curly pubic hair that trailed a dark line to his navel.

Norm shifted his stance, clearly discomfited by her appraising stare.

“It’s not all the way hard yet, it’s cold in this place you know…”

She shrugged in response.

“Now you, that’s when things will get cooking,” he said, motioning to her white cotton underwear, the ones Pauline loved to call Grannie panties. Pauline liked satin and lace thongs and infinitesimal pieces of fabric that did little to cover any part of her sex.
 
Kaila understood the differences in their undergarments, but preferred the extra material that covered all parts of her buttocks and pubic area, to something that pulled and tugged in all the wrong places. She slipped the underpants down the length of her slender hips until she too had stripped naked.
 

Somehow she had imagined the moment so different from how it was right then. Kaila hadn’t known that she had placed herself into the stream of sex and moaning that she had witnessed on her computer screen. Either way, she hadn’t until that very second understood that she actually had had predictions for how everything would unfold.

“I like a girl who doesn’t trim away all the stuff that says she’s a woman, all that baby smooth shit makes you feel like you’re doing it with a kid,” Norm said.
 

Kaila detected that he was attempting to sound relaxed and calm but the waver in his voice said he was none of that.

Kaila glanced down at her nakedness, letting her eyes graze over the fine strawberry blond hair that formed a v between her legs. She had never really paid much attention to her body, washing it, dressing it, feeding it and using it to take her where she wanted to go. Now she saw it as something other than a vessel, now it was something more, though what exactly that meant she wasn’t sure.
 

She felt Trillian drift forward again, attempting to take over her consciousness, like a familiar song that played in your head that made you feel like you understood everything around you. Trillian wanted to know how it all felt to be with a man, the sensations, the smells, and everything that went with it. Trillian wanted to snatch the experience away from Kaila.

“I am Trillian,” Kaila said in a high-pitched voice that seemed amplified by the confines of the room.

“Shit Kaila, lower your voice someone will hear,” Norm said, advancing on her. Kaila drew in a deep breath and took a few steps closer to Norm until she could feel his breath, hot against her skin. And she wanted to touch his bare flesh, feel the coarse hair that covered his lower stomach. She placed her hand lightly on his half-shrunken penis, stroking it gently as if she were petting a dog. Though she knew that the women in the porn shows did things much differently, she didn’t try to replicate their moves, and was happy instead to experiment.
 

Kaila felt Norm’s member respond to her fingers and his breathing sped up a little. It excited her that despite not knowing anything about sex she was in fact effecting a change in the workings of his body. Suddenly Norm clasped her breast in his hand and squeezed. Her whole body stiffened. The spiders that weren’t supposed to appear when she was going to have sex skittered up the soft skin of her breast.
 

Kaila slapped Norm’s hand away with more control than she felt capable of.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I want to touch you Kaila, I want to make you feel good too.”