Be Mine at Christmas (6 page)

She had a strange expression on her face when she twisted to peer up at him.

“Angela?”

She studied him for a moment, then seemed to relax. “She likes them, too. She—she’s never had anything like this.”

He slipped his arms around her, pulling her into full contact with him. He wanted to shelter her from the cold, close the emotional distance she kept putting between them as easily as he could close the physical one. If she’d let him… “Neither have you.”

She didn’t answer.

Lifting her hair, he pressed his lips to her neck. “Why not open up? Give it a try?” he asked softly.

“Matt, I—” He stiffened, afraid she was going to pull away again. “I have something to tell you.”

The tone of her voice didn’t sound promising. “What’s that?”

“It’s about that night, with Stephanie.”

He could tell by how rigid she’d gone that this wouldn’t be good. Could she have warned him and hadn’t? He no longer cared. That was thirteen years ago, and Stephanie had probably dragged her into it. He wasn’t going to allow what had happened then ruin what could happen now. “I don’t want to talk about that night,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned it never took place.”

“But Stephanie—”

“Doesn’t exist.”

“Is that what you want?” she asked fervently. “To forget? To live your life just as it is?”

“This is what I want,” he responded and, keeping their backs to the house in case anyone glanced out, he slid his hand up her smooth, flat stomach.

A
NGELA KNEW BETTER
than to let their relationship get physical. Matt claimed he didn’t care about what had happened thirteen years ago, but he didn’t understand. There was a living, breathing person as a result of that night. Surely, he’d want to know.

Or maybe not. Maybe he liked his life exactly as it was. That was what he’d implied.

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on her worries. His fingers were lightly caressing one breast through the thin fabric of her bra, sending shock waves of pleasure cascading through her.

“Matt,” she murmured, still torn. Her conscience demanded she stop him, but her body begged her to close her eyes and forget. She’d tried to say his name in a commanding tone—but it came out choked and eager, and she could feel how deeply it affected him.

Pulling her along the railing to a set of stairs, he led her down to a small guest room. Set off from the rest of the house, it had a bed and its own bath.

“Let me see you,” he whispered as he shut and locked the door behind them.

In the house above, they could hear Christmas
music, laughter, the tramping of feet. But it seemed far removed from them. Angela imagined Kayla grinning from ear to ear, licking frosting off her fingers. For the moment, everyone was happy. There was no need to ruin the party by blurting out the truth
or
to deny themselves these few stolen minutes. What would that really change?

Slowly, Angela slipped her red sweater over her head, watching carefully for Matt’s reaction as it dropped to the floor—and was gratified when his eyes darkened and his jaw sagged.

“God, you’re more beautiful than I imagined.” Bending his head, he cupped her breasts, kissing the swell of one, then the other.

Angela let her head fall back. She wouldn’t think, she told herself. Not about Denver or Virginia City. Not about the past or the future. She’d only
feel
—the feverish excitement building inside them; his deft hands unhooking her bra and sliding around to touch her; his warm, wet mouth closing over the tip of one breast; his muscular body pressing her into the mattress.

M
ATT COULDN’T BELIEVE
he’d brought Angela into his old bedroom right in the middle of his parents’ Christmas party. He’d meant to kiss her, to catch a tantalizing glimpse of her body, to touch her briefly. But the situation was quickly spiraling out of control. And he couldn’t stop it for fear she’d never let him have another chance. His craving was too great. He had to feel her body’s quivering responses, acquaint
himself with all the little things that made her moan and writhe and cry out.

He hoped to make this as memorable as possible for her, but he didn’t dare take it slow. There wasn’t time. He didn’t want to embarrass her by being gone so long someone would come looking for them. And the way she was tugging impatiently at his clothes told him she was as frantic as he was.

Once they were undressed, he pulled her down on the bed with him and pinned her arms over her head while he rolled on the condom he kept in his wallet.

She watched him with heavy-lidded eyes, her lips wet and slightly parted. But the gentle kiss he meant to give her quickly turned savage. Soon he was driving into her with powerful, rapid strokes. Minutes later, they were both damp with sweat and gasping for breath. And just when he thought he was too far gone to hold back any longer, it happened. She groaned, met his gaze as if he’d given her the most wonderful gift in the world, and shuddered.

He was only half a second behind her.

S
TEPHANIE LAY ON THE
rumpled bed of the cheap hotel room staring bleary-eyed at the television. She could smell urine and perspiration, but it didn’t bother her. She squinted, trying to decide if she was actually watching a program. It didn’t matter. The flicker itself was fascinating, especially when her mind was floating so freely around the room. Spinning, moving, gliding…

“Hey, get up, bitch.”

Slowly, she turned her head and blinked. A man’s fuzzy shape appeared. Jaydog? “Hey, Jaydog,” she said, the syllables running together.

She tried to make her gaping mouth form a smile, but he didn’t seem happy with her greeting. A sharp pain suddenly dimmed her euphoria. Had he kicked her?

He was
still
kicking her. And screaming. He wanted her to do something. He wanted her to get out.

Climbing to her feet, she swayed unsteadily as she walked, heading for an opening that was blinding in its brightness. That had to be the door. She misjudged the distance and ran into a corner, causing an additional glancing blow to her shoulder. But then she was outside and the door slammed behind her.

She didn’t know how long she stood there before she noticed that she wasn’t wearing any clothes.

H
E’D MADE A MISTAKE
. Matt realized that almost right away. He’d expected his encounter with Angela to bring them closer, to put an end to her cautious reserve.

But after they rejoined the party, she left his side as quickly as she could. He found his gaze trailing after her wherever she went, hoping for a smile or some reassurance that what they’d done was okay—but he got nothing. She wouldn’t even look at him. And if there was any accidental contact, she’d recoil.

What was going on? What they’d shared had been a great deal more than he’d expected. Especially so early in their relationship. But she was leaving in a week. It wasn’t as if they had months or years
stretching out before them. Even if they maintained a relationship, they wouldn’t get to see each other very often. Besides, maybe he’d initiated the contact, but her surprising response had been the match that ignited the powder keg. The encounter had been completely spontaneous. Real. Raw.

He couldn’t regret it.

Yet she was even less open to him now than she’d been before.

What had he done wrong? He supposed he shouldn’t have taken things so far. But he hadn’t
planned
for it to happen—not here, anyway.

He wasn’t sure when he should’ve stopped. Angela had never indicated that she’d wanted him to. She’d acted as if she’d been starved for human touch, love.

He’d wanted to give her both.

He took a seat across the room from her and her daughter as his mother started handing out presents. Angela and Kayla sat with polite smiles fixed on their faces—outsiders looking in, enjoying everyone else’s gifts and excitement without hoping for anything themselves.

He glanced over, but Angela avoided meeting his eyes. Again.

Maybe she’d been so hurt in the past that she was scared to let down her guard, he decided. She must’ve had a lonely childhood, after losing both parents and then living like a guest in someone else’s house.

Then there was Stephanie. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what dealing with her on a daily
basis must’ve been like. Even as an adult Angela seemed to live a pretty solitary life—just her and Kayla. They were both engaging and polite, and he sensed that they wanted closer relationships than they had but didn’t know how to reach out because they had no trust.

He remembered Kayla’s story about her father.
So he walked out, and left my mom to raise me by herself. We don’t even know where he is.

The bastard had caused some deep scars.

“Are you going to open it?”

Matt blinked and focused on his sister-in-law, who’d just shoved a present into his lap.

“Sure,” he said, and unwrapped a bottle of his favorite cologne.

“This is great. I was getting low.” He gave her a hug, then waited for the process to continue around the circle until it was Angela’s and Kayla’s turn.

His uncle, who was sitting next to him, received a basket of salami and cheese. Matt’s father acted excited over a new hand drill.

At first, Grandma had tried to boycott the gift exchange because his mother had put a ban on the special eggnog Matt usually provided. But then she relented, opened his brother’s gift, which was a box of chocolate-covered cherries and, with a spiteful glare for his mother, stuffed three in her mouth at once.

“Wow. You go, Grandma,” Ray said, sitting taller for Matt’s benefit. “I guess I’m your new favorite grandson, huh?”

Matt shot his mother a look that said, “Next year
I’m bringing the eggnog.” But he didn’t bother to wait for her response. It was Kayla’s turn to open her gift, and he didn’t want to miss it.

“This is for me?” she asked in surprise when his aunt dug the present out from those that remained.

His mother checked the tag. “Yep. From Matt.”

Kayla smiled shyly at him and tore away the wrapping. When she reached the plush blue box inside, she sent him another questioning glance, then snapped open the lid.

Her smile spread across her whole face. “It’s a gold locket,” she breathed. “I love it!”

Her response filled some of the hollowness Matt had been feeling since he’d left the bedroom downstairs. Especially when she hurried across the room to hug him. Her little arms felt so thin and fragile, as fragile as he imagined her heart must be.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said.

She immediately returned to her mother so Angela could help her put it on, but Sherry insisted they let someone else do that so Angela could open her gift.

Angela’s eyes flew wide when Sherry set a box in her lap, a box that was much, much bigger than Kayla’s. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t bring any gifts,” she said self-consciously.

Matt shrugged. “I didn’t tell you it was a gift exchange.”

She cleared her throat. “You should have.”

He hadn’t wanted her to feel obligated to go out and buy a bunch of presents. He’d just wanted her to come. “It’s fine.” Hadn’t anyone ever given her a gift
she could accept without feeling the obligation to respond in kind?

Probably not. Typically, only parents and grandparents gave gifts like that.

Matt’s mother huddled closer to Angela. “Let’s see what it is.”

“Yeah, open it,” Kayla chimed in, her locket now securely fastened around her neck.

Angela unwrapped the box and pulled out the quilt Matt had found in one of the gift shops. Handmade by a local woman, it showed nine historically significant structures in Virginia City—the First Presbyterian Church on C Street, Mackay Mansion on D Street, Piper’s Opera House at B and Union, the Fourth Ward School on C, St. Mary’s in the Mountains, Storey County Courthouse, the
Territorial Enterprise
Museum, where Mark Twain had begun his career, and the Liberty Engine Company No. 1 State Fireman Museum. In the Fireman square, he’d had the maker stitch
Love, Matt,
along the edge.

“It’s beautiful!” Angela exclaimed.

He could tell she really liked it. “I thought it might give you something to remember us by.”

“Come on, Matt. Who could forget you?” his brother teased.

“She won’t forget you,” his mother announced and slapped a square flat present in her lap.

Matt immediately recognized the size and shape, and groaned. “I left those at home. On purpose. How did you get—”

“I have my own stash,” she said triumphantly.

Sure enough, it was a copy of the calendar.

“He’s May and November,” his aunt informed Angela, and just about ripped it out of her hands so she could turn to the right months. “See? Isn’t he gorgeous? He’s my nephew, but I gotta tell ya, he’s the hottest one in there.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Come on, Aunt Margaret.”

His sister-in-law laughed and pointed. “I never would’ve believed it possible, but I think you’re embarrassing him.”

Matt scowled. “Why would I be embarrassed? I only did it to help the burn victims.”

“Honey, that thing’s started more fires than you’ll ever put out,” his aunt teased.

The whole family had a good laugh at his expense. But Matt didn’t mind too much. Not when Angela finally looked up from the calendar and he saw the heat in her eyes.

Maybe she was trying not to acknowledge what she felt. But whatever had caused the frenzy downstairs wasn’t gone. Not by a long shot.

S
HEILA
G
ILBERT LOOKED
much the same as she had in high school. Barely over five feet tall, with shoulder-length blond hair, blue eyes and a curvaceous figure, she’d gained a smoker’s voice and somehow lost her ready smile—but those appeared to be the only changes.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” Angela said as she and Kayla led the way to a table at the Silver Dollar Café, where Sheila had suggested they meet. A mom-and-pop place that had opened since Angela had left town, the restaurant was located across the street from Matt’s parents’ jewelry store. Angela had noticed that little detail the moment they’d driven up. Every few seconds, she found her attention drifting to the window—just in case she spotted a member of his family on the street outside. She’d liked the Jacksons. She’d liked them all—

“When did you get in?” Sheila asked.

Angela forced herself to focus. “Last Sunday.”

“What brings you back?”

She shrugged as the waitress delivered their water, and Sheila ordered coffee. “I missed it, wanted to see the town,” she said when the waitress had hurried away.

“You missed
this
place?” Sheila raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right?”

Kayla’s nose appeared above the top of her menu. “You don’t like it here, Sheila?”

“What’s to like?” she asked.

“Everything,”
Kayla replied earnestly. “The mountains and the trees and the buildings. And Matt, and his parents and cousins. And his funny grandma.”

Obviously, Kayla liked them, too.

“Matt?” Sheila turned to Angela expectantly.

“Matthew Jackson,” she said. “We ran into him the first day we got here.”

Sheila released a low whistle. “Now I understand. If you’ve seen Matt, you’ve seen the very best Virginia City has to offer.”

Kayla proudly lifted her locket. “He gave me this at the Christmas party last night.”

Sheila held it in her own hand for a moment. “Very nice.” She grinned wryly. “See? That’s my problem. He’s never given me a locket.”

“But you like him,” Angela said.

“Who doesn’t?” Her voice grew dreamy. “He’s a tough catch, so be forewarned. But maybe you’re better at big-game hunting than I am. Anyway, he’s nice, sexy and brave. He keeps us all safe while looking like a dream in that uniform.” She leaned forward. “And have you seen the calendar? I have May permanently taped to my ceiling. The mere sight of that picture makes me—”

Angela cleared her throat.

Sheila’s eyes darted toward Kayla. “—makes me
proud of our local firemen,” she finished. But her smile said what she hadn’t been able to say. And Angela completely understood. After Kayla had gone to sleep last night, Angela had sat up staring at the picture that featured Matt with a fire hose slung over one muscular shoulder. He was wearing nothing but a fireman’s hat and a pair of pants slung so low on his narrow hips that they revealed the line of hair descending from his navel—the line of hair she’d seen for herself last night, along with what the picture
didn’t
show.

The memory of his hands on her body, of his body joining perfectly with hers, played in her mind again.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to stem the tide of mortification, arousal and embarrassment rising to her face. When he’d brought her home, he’d asked her to call him after she got settled in the room, had murmured that he wanted to talk to her about what had happened between them. She’d mumbled something noncommittal, thanked him for the quilt and turned away before he could give her even a peck on the cheek. But she hadn’t been able to make herself dial his number. She felt too guilty for taking advantage of his ignorance where Kayla was concerned, knew it would make him hate her when he found out.

When
he found out…

Now it was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? Because she’d already fallen in love with him and every member of his family. And if Kayla had the chance to
be part of them, of what they had, Angela wouldn’t let anything stand in the way—least of all herself.

Instinctively, she reached across the table to take Kayla’s hand.

“What is it, Angie?” she asked, the question in her voice telling Angela she was squeezing a little too hard.

She
had
to do it, right? She had to tell for Kayla’s sake.

The lump in Angela’s throat made it difficult to speak. “Nothing. I just—I love you,” she said.

Kayla smiled sweetly as Sheila looked on. “I love you, too. I’m so glad you brought me here.”

A crushing pain made it difficult to breathe. Letting go, Angela tried to smile. “Me, too,” she said, then hid behind her menu because Sheila was watching her strangely, and she knew she’d start crying if she didn’t.

God, it’s going to be tough to give you up,
she thought.

S
TEPHANIE’S HEAD POUNDED
as the voices of the other people droned on and on. She was in a shelter, she realized slowly, lying on a mattress, gazing at the cavernous ceiling. She didn’t know how long she’d been there or who had brought her in. But she could tell they’d given her something to help her deal with the spasms that racked her body. She could also tell it wasn’t enough.

Getting up, she started for the door. She wanted to go back. Jaydog would fix her up. He always did. For a few tricks, he’d get her exactly what she needed.

A woman wearing nurse’s scrubs caught hold of
her arm before she could reach freedom. “Miss, I don’t think you want to go out there. The help you need is right here.”

“You don’t have what I need,” she argued.

“It isn’t easy, but you can do it.”

“Let me go.” She tried to jerk away, but the woman’s grip only tightened.

“Listen to me,” the woman said, her voice low, harsh. “Is this the kind of life you want? Look at yourself!” She handed her a mirror, and Stephanie almost didn’t recognize the face that stared back at her. When had she gotten so gaunt and haggard? So old? And what had happened to her hair? Had someone set fire to it? Or had she set fire to it herself?

“I need some sleep,” she insisted. “I—I’ll get a haircut. I’m not as bad as you make me sound.”

“Do you want to
live?
” the woman asked.

Stephanie blinked at her in surprise. “
What?
”

“If you want to make it another year, give me the number of someone I can call.”

Stephanie took a second look at the stranger in the mirror. Who was that person? Where was she going? What had she done?

She had no answers. She had nothing.

“Who can I call?” the woman repeated, more forcefully.

Stephanie didn’t have Angela’s cell-phone number. Their relationship had become so rocky Angela had changed the number and wouldn’t give it to her. But Stephanie did remember the name of the place where Angela worked.

“W
HAT’S WRONG
?” Lewis asked, poking his head inside Matt’s office.

Matt yanked himself out of the lethargic stupor that seemed to swallow him whole every time he stopped moving, and shuffled some papers around. “Nothing, why?”

“You’re not yourself today.”

Angela hadn’t called him last night. She hadn’t even squeezed his hand or thrown him a quick smile when they’d parted. She’d made passionate love to him for about ten minutes, then…no real interaction at all. “Thanks,” she’d said as he’d dropped them off. “For everything.” And then she’d gone and he hadn’t heard from her since.

He shouldn’t have taken her into that bedroom. She probably thought he didn’t respect her. Or that he was only interested in what he could get from her while she was in town. Or…

Hell, he didn’t know. He’d never gotten so many mixed signals in his life. He was thoroughly confused.

“So how was the big gift exchange?”

Lewis was still standing in the doorway of his office.

Matt tried to rouse himself again. “Great. Fun. Grandma didn’t get her special eggnog, for which she’ll never forgive me. But other than that…” Other than that, it had definitely had its high points. Like the moment Angela had frantically stripped off his pants and greedily touched him everywhere, arching into him when he’d first covered her body with his.

She’d wanted to make love, too, hadn’t she? Because if that was
no,
how would he ever know
yes?

“I ran into Ray a few minutes ago,” Lewis said.

“Oh, really? Where?” Matt could hear the flatness in his own voice, but Lewis didn’t comment on his lack of enthusiasm.

“At your parents’ store. I stopped by to pick up the necklace I bought for Peggy.”

“Peg’s going to have a nice Christmas.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good.”

Lewis stepped into the room and leaned on the back of one of the chairs. “Anyway, Peg and I plan to invite Kayla to come to Reno with us tonight.”

The mention of Kayla instantly raised Matt’s level of interest. “What for?”

“We’re going to Circus Circus, you know, for the kids. Then we’ll be staying over to have a buffet breakfast and do a little shopping. Christmas Eve is the day after tomorrow, so it’s pretty much our last chance. I thought I’d let you know in case you wanted to take the opportunity to be alone with Angela.”

Matt felt a sudden flicker of hope. Last night, he’d handled her the way he would a house fire—urgently and without finesse. She must’ve been disappointed. So…what if he brought her some flowers, took her out for a romantic dinner, spent the evening just getting to know her? If she didn’t touch him, he wouldn’t touch her. Then maybe she’d forgive him, let him start over… This time, he’d take it slower.

But she hadn’t called him even after he’d asked her to.

It was too late.

He shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m not going to bother her again. I don’t think she wants to see me anymore.”

“C
AN WE GET IT FOR HIM
? Please?” Kayla begged.

Angela didn’t have to ask
For who?
After breakfast, when they’d set off to do some Christmas shopping, Kayla had wanted to find a gift for Matt. Angela did, too. She just hadn’t expected to find anything quite like this.

“Please say yes,” Kayla said.

Angela lifted the sculpture of a fireman carrying a child to safety and read the plaque at the bottom.
Safe from Imminent Danger.

Tracing a finger lightly over the face of the child, she took in the details—the smile, the rounded cheeks, the pigtails. It was a girl, which struck Angela as very significant.

“Angie?”

Angela blinked and finally answered. “Yes?”

“It’s perfect for him, don’t you think?”

It
was
perfect. It was also expensive, but his gifts to them hadn’t been cheap, and it said everything Angela wanted to say.
Shelter her from harm. Keep her safe. Be a good daddy.

She could trust a fireman, right?

W
HEN HE HEARD
A
NGELA
at the station, asking to see him, Matt couldn’t believe it. He’d just decided
she didn’t want anything to do with him. And now she was here?

Ruben, one of his men, directed her to Matt’s office.

Matt rounded the desk as Kayla came hurrying through the door.

“We got you a present,” she said breathlessly.

Angela followed, carrying a large square box wrapped in a paper decorated with little Christmas trees.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said. But since it had brought them to the station, he was damn glad they had.

Kayla clasped her hands in front of her as if she could scarcely contain the excitement. “Open it!”

He would have, right away. Except Angela’s gaze swept over him from head to toe, so hot and hungry it nearly stole his breath. He hadn’t made any mistake last night—she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. So what was the problem?

He didn’t know, but he’d certainly ask. Because he now understood that his other plan would never have worked. Considering the force of what they were feeling, what they wanted, there was no way they’d be able to let their relationship develop slowly.

“Hi,” he said, his eyes locking with hers.

“Hi,” she murmured and gave him such a sexy, mysterious smile he got lost in it for a while—until Kayla tugged on his arm.

“Don’t you want to see what we got you?”

He doubted it could compare with what Angela
had given him last night. Grinning, he took the package, set it on his desk and tore off the paper.

It was a bronze statue of a fireman saving a child.

“Do you like it?” Kayla asked.

He smiled as he stared at it. “I do. Very much. Thank you.”

“Now every time you look at it you’ll think of us,” she said.

He didn’t admit it, but he was afraid he couldn’t forget them even if he wanted to.

A
NGELA REACHED FOR
the phone half a dozen times without picking it up. Tonight was the night to tell him. Kayla had gone to Reno with Lewis and his family, so Angela was alone. She could talk to Matt, explain the pregnancy that had resulted from what had happened thirteen years ago and see what he’d like to do about it before she broke the news to Kayla.

Maybe he’d settle for annual or biannual visits. Why not? He wasn’t used to having a child. And it wasn’t as if Angela needed him for financial support. She did fine on her own. She’d suggest they share Kayla.

But what if he didn’t want to share? He didn’t seem like the type to have a part-time daughter. He seemed like the kind of man who claimed what belonged to him and took care of his own.

She wiped her sweaty palms on the old jeans she’d pulled on, along with a sweatshirt. She was scared. But picturing that essay, those question marks that had replaced Kayla’s last name, made Angela reach for the handset with enough resolve to
get the job done. Kayla Jackson had a nice ring to it. Matt was a father to be proud of.

The phone rang just as Angela touched it. Taking a deep breath, she brought it to her ear. “Hello?”

“I want to see you. Will you come over?”

It was Matt. Of course. She’d known it would be.