Be My Baby (31 page)

I kicked my shoes off and tossed my jacket
on to one of the chairs in the corner. I gently climbed up next to
him on his sterile bed, careful not to disturb any of the IV's, his
feeding tube or the multiple monitors attached to him. It was odd
for me to be so close to him - close enough to feel his warmth -
and yet not have him pulling me closer to him with his strong arms;
wrapping himself around me; burying his face into my hair.

I gently put one arm over him so that we
were touching. I needed to feel his body, his strong and loving
body.

I reached my fingers up to touch his chin
dimple; he was in need of a shave. His five o'clock shadow was now
at 11:00 p.m. I made a mental note that I would get a shaving kit
for him so that I could shave his face tomorrow. His skin was warm
to my touch. He didn't seem to feel my touch but then I hadn't
figured that he would.

"Trey," I said quietly, but
firmly, "Don't you
leave
me. Do you hear what I am saying to you? If you
leave me I will never forgive you, Trey Michael. We’ve got things
to do yet. We've got our daughter to raise. She adores you and so
do I. What about our unborn children? You are a stickler that
Preston not be an 'only' child, remember? Well if you leave, she
will be an only child, Trey."

I stopped to watch his face. I needed to see
something. The twitch of a muscle; the movement of his eyes beneath
his eyelids - something! But there was nothing; the machines were
doing all of the work for him right now.

"Then, there is also the matter of how much
I love you. Do you think I arbitrarily give my love to just anyone?
You know me, Trey. You know me in some ways better than I know
myself. You forced me to deal with my fears and my nightmares. You
forced me to face the truth about my past and deal with my demons.
I did it Trey; I did it because of you. I thank you for that, baby.
Now, I want you to do something for me. I need for you to wake up
baby. I need for you to come home to me and Preston, please?"

The tears were flowing down my cheeks now. I
laid there on my side next to my comatose husband and I waited. I
waited for his thumb to reach up and brush my tears away; I waited
for his lips to find my tear stains and kiss them away; I waited
for his lips then to claim mine as he possessed them with his. It
didn't happen. All I saw was my Trey beneath his life-saving
equipment. His eyelids didn't flutter; he body didn't respond to my
touch.

"I get that you're tired, Trey. I get that
you need to heal. You've been through a lot. I will be here with
you every day until you are better and ready to come home. I need
to see that you're trying to get better, sweetheart. I need to make
sure that you don't stop. If you leave me, Trey, I'm just not sure
that I could go on without you. Oh - I know that pisses you off to
hear me say that. You're hearing it now, and it's the truth - I
don't want to live if I have to live without you."

I leaned over and kissed his chin, his nose
and his bruised and swollen cheeks.

"I love you Trey, I love you, Trey.”

CHAPTER 26

“I love you, Trey . . . I love you,
Trey.”

Dear God! Is that Tylar’s voice? Why is
there such an echo to it? Why can’t I see her at the moment? Where
in the hell am I? I freaking feel like I’ve stepped through some
looking glass into a tunnel – just like that stupid book I had to
read in grade school – what the hell was the name of it? Oh yeah –
'Alice in Wonderland'. Rumor had it that the author was tripping on
acid when he wrote it. Is that what’s happening to me at the
moment?

Can’t be. I don’t do drugs. This has to be a
dream; as far as dreams go, it’s fairly pleasant. I need to find my
wife in this dream and then it will be even better. She makes
everything better for me. I think about her smile, her sexiness,
her scent – all of it is what makes her Tylar, my Tylar. I’m
betting she pops into this dream. I just need to go with the flow
and catch up to her.

I feel like I’m floating now as this long
tunnel is finally opening up to some gigantic ballroom. Up ahead I
can see lots of people milling about. Several of them are looking
my way and beckoning me to come closer. Everyone sort of looks like
they’re floating just like me. I feel enveloped in peace and
serenity; this dream is unfolding so differently than all of the
ones I’ve had before.

I’m finally at the end of this tunnel and
the grand ballroom is magnificent. I am looking around for Tylar in
the crowd of people. Suddenly I spot her only she’s different. She
looks a little bit younger. She smiles and approaches me with a
baby in her arms . . .a very tiny baby – not Preston. Tylar is

wearing a beautiful red sweater dress. It's
both familiar and not familiar, if that makes sense. I see that she
has fixed her hair a bit differently.

She glides effortlessly over to me, cradling
our little bundle of joy next to her.

“Hey baby,” I say to her, “You look great.
Where have you been? Whose baby?"

She is quiet as she tilts the baby upward to
give me a peek beneath the soft white blanket.

I look down into the little cherub face.
It’s Marley! My look of surprise is evident as I look back at Tylar
and see her smiling at me with her green eyes twinkling.

Whoa – wait a minute. Tylar’s eyes are tawny
brown; I look back at the baby and then at the woman. My God – it’s
Marla!

“Marla?” I hear my voice but I don’t
recognize it. It has a melodic quality to it that is not familiar
to me.

“Yes, Trey, it’s Marla,” she answers in a
sweet and melodic voice of her own. “I’m watching over Marley for
you and Tylar. She is quite exquisite, isn’t she?”

My eyes drop to my baby
daughter - the one that I had never known. She
is
beautiful. Her eyes flutter open.
I had never seen them because she was 'born silent.' That is how
the hospital staff had put it. It sounded so much better than
'stillborn.'

Her eyes are tawny brown; just like Tylar's.
She smiles up at me displaying a dimple just like mine. I am filled
with love for this child but happiness as well. It is a very
strange emotion that I am feeling. I am not familiar with it.

"Her eyes," I comment, Marla interrupts.

"Those are the eyes of Preston Tylar," she
finishes for me. "They are the most beautiful shade of brown I've
ever seen. My Tylar has those eyes; my beautiful Tylar Jamie."

I lower my face to my daughter's and brush a
kiss across her soft, baby skin. She grins up at me and I feel as
if I will burst with pride and with joy.

"Can I hold her?"

Marla continues to smile down at Marley. She
clearly has taken to being a grandmother even though she looks like
a teenager.

"I thank you so much for caring for her,
Marla, but I really think I need to take her now; I have to take
her home to Tylar. She will be so happy to have Marley home with
us. Preston will be excited to see her sissy. Our family will be
just as we planned it."

Marla doesn't answer me. She continues to
cuddle the baby as if she hasn't heard a word that I've said. I
certainly do not want to have mother-in-law problems in this
otherwise perfect dream, but being Marley's father supersedes her
as grandmother. I need to take our baby girl home.

"Marla, I'm sorry, but I really must insist
you hand my daughter over to me so that we can get home."

I reach for the baby but my hands seem to go
right through her as if she is nothing more than an image. What the
hell? I look at Marla and she is slowly fading; the image of her
and Marley are fading from my view as are the rest of the people in
the grand ballroom. I must be awakening from this very strange but
very calming dream. I don't want to wake up until I can bring our
baby home. I don't want Tylar sad anymore about not having Marley
with us.

I am startled by the tunnel voices again. It
is Tylar and Tristan. They seem to be arguing. It is unusual for
Tristan to be arguing with anyone - other than me I think to myself
chuckling. I can hear their conversation but it's puzzling to me. I
need to wake up and find out what the fuck is going on!

___________________________________________________

I was jostled awake where I had been
sleeping in a hospital chair that doubled as a lazy boy. It was
Tristan. The open blinds revealed that it was dark out now.

"What time is it?"

"It's late, Tylar. It's time for you to go
back to your hotel and get something to eat and go to bed. I'll
stay here tonight with Trey."

"No," I argued, "I am not leaving here until
Trey wakes up."

"Tylar," his voice was now
taking on the same strict tone that Trey's did when he meant
business, "You are
not
staying here around the clock. Trey would not want that; as
his brother, I intend to carry out his wishes while he is
temporarily incapacitated. End of discussion."

"Tristan - please? I need to be here with
him."

"We will take shifts. Right now this is my
shift. I had dinner already and I am relieving you. Your limo is
outside waiting. I will see you in the morning, Tylar."

I reluctantly took my leave when I realized
that Tristan was not going to budge. I went over and kissed Trey
several times. I assured him that I would be back in the
morning.

As promised the limo was waiting outside for
me. I was driven the short distance to my hotel where I showered
and collapsed into bed exhausted. I wanted morning to come quickly
so that I could be with Trey again.

CHAPTER 27

The days ahead were more of the same;
Tristan and I took shifts staying in Trey's hospital room. Watching
and waiting for some miraculous change in his condition, but there
was none. His doctors were still 'guardedly' optimistic about his
recovery.

My father arrived in Nashville on Saturday
afternoon as promised. He had brought Preston with him. Trey had
been moved to a step-down unit that morning. Tristan had flown back
to Atlanta the night before to spend time with Gina and Reese. His
parents were still there helping out.

Now that Trey was in a regular room, the
hospital permitted more family to be present. Preston was allowed
to be in the room with me during visiting hours. I hadn't seen her
since the night before Trey and I had left for our cruise nearly
two weeks prior.

Seeing my father carry her into Trey's room
brought a rush of emotion to me. She was dressed in the beautiful
coat and hat that Susan and Clive had given her for Christmas last
year.

"Mommie," she squealed, reaching for me. I
was on my feet taking her from Dad and settling her down on the
sofa that doubled as a pull-out bed in the hospital room.

"Hi, baby girl," I cooed to her, taking off
her hat and coat, and giving her a visual inspection. I hugged her
closely to me.

"Mommy missed you, Preston. Have you been a
good girl for Aunt Gina and Grandma?"

"Un huh," she said, shaking her head up and
down. Her big blue eyes were taking in all of the monitors and
gadgets in the room. She immediately spotted Trey, her little arm
outstretched, her finger pointing over to him.

"Daddy seeping?"

"Yes, honey," I answered, "Daddy is resting
so that he can get all better."

I looked over at my father. What should I
tell her?

He immediately came over and reached for her
to take her.

"Let me show you something, Preston," he
said, lifting her into his arms. He carried her over closer to
Trey's bed.

"You remember what I explained to you on the
plane this morning about sometimes people have accidents and get
boo-boos?"

She was watching my father intently nodding
her head up and down, her little index finger in her mouth.

"Remember how I told you that hospitals are
places that help people that have been hurt get all better?"

"Uh huh. Daddy got boo-boos?"

"Yes, honey, he does. But they are getting
better. I'm sure your daddy would like it very much if you gave him
a kiss. Do you want Grandpa to lower you down so you can give Daddy
a kiss on his cheek?"

"Un unh," she said, shaking her head
'no.'

My father looked over at me clearly
distressed. It was apparent that Preston was a bit apprehensive
about seeing Trey in his present condition.

"Tylar," he said, "This is probably a bit
difficult for her to comprehend."

"I know, Dad. Let's not push it. I'd like to
spend some time with her. Will you stay with Trey?"

"Of course, I will."

"Come on, Preston," I said taking her. "Do
you want to go and have some ice cream with Mommy?"

I took her to the cafeteria and we had ice
cream together. She chatted away about Reese in her own little
'baby' language. It suddenly dawned on me that Preston was 19
months old this very day. She was growing up so fast. I didn't want
Trey to miss any of it.

Dad stayed with Trey while I took Preston
back to the hotel and we napped together. I made dinner for her and
then showered and changed my clothes. We headed back to the
hospital so that I could relieve Dad.