Beach Side Beds and Sandy Paths (17 page)

Padding my way back to the window, I pull in a few calming breaths and try to relax. It might not even happen today, but there’s something in my gut that says that there’s a good possibility it will. Even if another one of her bras explodes with goop, or if a party starts up downstairs… whatever awkward and unexpected crap that happens, I feel like it won’t matter. Tough to explain all the nervous and excited bees buzzing under my skin, but when I open the curtains and see Lex flat on her back on the beach, letting the sun soak into her bare legs and a gorgeous smile on her face, I can’t wait to get my ass down there.

I take the steps two at a time, and jog along the sand to where my friends are. Kaylee has taken a spot underneath Lex’s head, and she’s braiding her long brown hair. Brett’s dead asleep on a towel a few feet away, and Nate’s flipping a card out through his fingers, then making it disappear.

“Hey,” I say, announcing my presence. Lex looks at me from over her sunglasses, and her two dimples pop on her cheeks. “Do you mind if I steal you?” I ask her. If possible, her
smile gets bigger and she nods, slipping from Kaylee’s hold. My hand instantly claims hers, then I pull her onto my back.

“Where are we going, thief?”

“To be alone.” I tickle under her thighs. She laughs, then peppers my cheek and neck with kisses. When I get some distance between us and our friends, I drop her toes in the sand and pull her down with me. She settles between my legs, grabs my arms and makes sure they take residence on her waist. This whole trip I haven’t been able to just sit with her, and I feel like it’s just what I need before I take her inside.

If
we go inside.

I run the back of my hand down her arm
and watch her skin pucker with goosebumps. A year ago I only fantasized about touching her like this. There was always a fear of losing our friendship if I ever got the courage to tell her how I felt. It lingered in the back of my mind that if I touched her in an intimate way, we’d lose what’s so great about us, which is we can make absolute fools of ourselves and it’s cool.

A grin hits my lips right before I drop them to the pulse in her neck. Now that we have more on top of being friends, I can’t wait for
even more
than that. Not just physically, but falling deeper and deeper, and still being us. She could burp right now and I wouldn’t give a shit.

“Your skin is really hot,” I say, sweeping the braid from her neck.

“I have been outside for a while.” She lets out a breathy laugh. “Your heart is really pounding.”

“Well,” I say, dragging my nose along her collarbone. I inhale the sun-soaked, warm skin. “I have been turned on for a while.”

She reaches up and flicks me on the nose, but it’s light and playful, and we settle back into each other. I think she watches the ocean, but I’m definitely watching her. My hands dip under the fabric of her shirt, and something rumbles around my fingers near her bellybutton.

I laugh as her cheeks fill with blush.

“Well,
that’s
attractive.”

“Hungry?”

She turns her neck toward me, an adorable pout on her lips. “Yes. But I wish I could say no.”

“I’m hungry, too,” I say. “I was up early and food must’ve slipped my mind. And I’m gonna need sugar if you want me awake this afternoon.”

“There’s pudding packs back at the house.”

“T
hat sounds good.”

Getting up, I wipe the sand off the back of my shorts, and pull Lex to her feet. She tucks her hand in mine
, and it feels so good to not think about anything but us right now.

I look over my shoulder when we step up the porch.
Brett’s still passed out on the beach, I heard Nick say he was headed to another house down the road, and true to her word, Kaylee’s keeping Nate occupied. Lex skips into the kitchen the moment we walk in, her shirt coming up enough so I can see the small of her back over her shorts. Damn, she’s sexy as hell.

She op
ens the fridge and pulls out whipped cream and chocolate pudding. As she sets them on the counter, I wrap my arms around her waist. She’s so warm, and smells like salt from the water. Her smile crooks against my cheek as she tears the lid off two pudding packs.

“How much do you want?” she asks, shaking the whipped cream can.

“Surprise me.”

I run my fingers over the skin on her stomach, tickling her bellybutton. She elbows me in the gut, stifling her giggles.

Something clenches in my chest, almost as if my heart decides to do pushups against the breastplate. The shit’s gone. My brain is tuned in on the Lexie station, and I’m not hungry at all anymore. 

My
smile covers my whole face as I dip my thumb into the pudding and spread it across her lips.

“Oh, you do not want to start,” she threatens, waving the whipped cream at me.

Tucking her close, I kiss the corner of her chocolate covered mouth. “I’m not starting anything.” I kiss the other corner. “I just want my breakfast like this.”

She wiggles her mouth against mine, soaking my lips in chocolate and laughing. Normally, I’d get her back—tackle her against the floor and dump the whole
cup on her face, but I’m too happy, and way too turned on to retaliate.

Pressing her against the counter, I kiss her like there’s nothing stopping me. I’m not sure if anything
will
stop me this time. She’s smiling, which makes me smile. Her tongue snakes out, licking the chocolate off my upper lip.

“I love you,” I say, because it seems I don’t say it enough.

She gives me two dimples, and her fingers tug at my pants. “I love you, too.”

Before I can dive back to her mouth, my jeans fill up with about a pound of whipped cream.

Lex hops away with the can, laughing her head off.

Oh, she’s getting it now.

I grab the pudding off the counter and charge her. She lets out a high-pitched squeal and sprays the whipped cream at me like crazy. Dodging the onslaught of dessert topping, I manage to spread pudding all over her neck and chest while she sprays the cream in my hair. We tickle each other, laugh, and rub our bodies together, trying to get the other person as messy as we are.

I’ve done this with Lex before when we weren’t dating. There’s something extremely sexy about how I can touch her places
now and know how they affect her. How they affect me.

We end up on the floor. I think I’ve won, since she’s covered neck to knee in chocolate, but when her hands curl into my hair and pluck out a massive clump of whipped cream, maybe we broke even.

“Kiss me now?” she asks, her smile not tainted at all by the mess we made. Her bare legs tangle in mine, and the whipped cream in my pants squishes uncomfortably as we press against each other. Not the best feeling in the world, but with our tongues together and hands gripping stained and wet fabric, I couldn’t give a shit about my dessert filled boxers.

My lips move to her neck, and her breathing softens. I lick the chocolate off, sucking and pulling at the skin behind her ear, not being able to control all the groans ripping through my throat.

Something wet rubs against my cheek. Lex’s breath hitches.

I break from her neck to see quiet streaks of tears rolling down her face.

“Whoa, Lex. What’s wrong?”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”

Damn it. “Don’t lie to me. What is it?” I stroke my thumb across her cheekbone, and smear chocolate on her face. My heart’s pounding with the speed of a Lamborghini. Did I miss my moment? What is wrong this time?

Her eyes pop open, but they won’t look at me. She keeps them locked on my shirt collar as she tugs it. “I just… I
want
you.”

The air going through my lungs stops. I lay frozen on top of her, wishing I could stop the flow of tears going down her cheeks.
Have I pushed her away so much that she doesn’t think this is going to happen? Because damn, I was ready for it to happen.

“Ry, I need you. I want you. I’m tired of holding back.”

“Lex—”

Her grip tightens on my collar. “Why isn’t
it killing you like it is me?”

Ah, shit. Seems by keeping her from me I’ve hurt her more. I
do
want her. It
is
killing me. How could it not be? She’s underneath me, giving herself to me, and I was a damn idiot and couldn’t get past my own head.

But I’m past it now.

“Alexis,” I say, tucking my hand around her brown hair, not caring about the food. Her breath catches at her name. I think mine does too. “I don’t want to hurt you, or use you, or do something wrong. And it has
killed
me.” My lips go down on the corner of her eye, and I breathe in, enjoying what the chocolate has done to Lex’s scent. “But… I want to make love to you.”

“When?” she asks, her voice sticky with tears. I try not to smile, but I can’t help it.

“Now, you goof.”

Her eyes pop wide when I lean back.

“You’re not joking, right?” she asks. “This isn’t because I’m crying, because I don’t mean to cry, and I don’t want you to have sex with me just because I can’t control my emotions. I’m not trying to manipulate you or trick you into doing this, I promise. Please don’t do this because I lost my mind and started cr—”

I cover her mouth with m
y hand and start laughing. She gives me a stink-eye and slugs my arm.

“Ouch, shit.”

“Why are you
laughing
at me?” She’s still upset, but her lips are upturned in a smile. “You better not be pulling my leg.”

“I’m not, Lex.” I grab her cream-covered hand and hold it in mine. “I’m laughing because I’ve been thinking about it all day. Kaylee promised an empty house, I’ve been talking to a damn condom upstairs, and it’s not because you’re crying. It’s because I love you, and I want you, and I want
all
of you, and you’re sexy as hell, and you’re telling me you want me too and I just can’t believe I got so lucky.”

Her gorgeous dimples appear under the chocolate on her cheeks,
and her eyes meet mine.

“You were talking to a condom?”

I hang my head and chuckle into her neck. “Several of them actually.”

“What did they say?”

“They gave me shit for not knowing how the hell to use one.”

“Hmm… well, lucky for you, we don’t necessarily need one.”

My head whips back up, and I grow harder as the red deepens under the mess on her face.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m on the pill.” She bites back her grin. “Surprise!”

A rush of relief flows through my chest. “Damn, am I happy to hear you say
that.”

She laughs and then kisses my lips briefly. “So…”

Yeah. “So.”

“Now?” Her body goes incredibly still under mine, and m
y hands shake a bit as I run them down her ribs, sliding through the pudding and whipped cream.

“There is a problem, Lex.”

“What’s that?”

“My pants are full of whipped cream.”

I rub against her as she lets out her gorgeous and sexy laugh.

“Well, I can help you get it out,” she offers.

“In the shower?”

S
he nods, smile now spread wide.

Heart thumping, hands shaking, and mind finally free of guilt, I pull us up, carry Lex into the next room, leaving the mess—literal and metaphorical behind us.

I always wondered if I would feel different. If somehow losing my virginity would change me. Now that it has finally happened
, I can honestly say, I’m still me…just happier. A happiness that is all consuming and no matter how hard I try to pull my lips down they just shoot right back up.

I turn on my side and one
glance at Ryan propels that all consuming happiness into pure tranquility. My lip twitches and a single tear escapes my eye.

“You…you okay?”
he breathes.

I smile up at him. “More than okay.” He wipes the tear from my cheek, and I rest my head against his chest.

Two years ago if you told me I’d be lying in bed with my best friend after losing our virginity to each other I would’ve wrinkled my nose and swore it wasn’t true. Though, deep in the back of my mind I’d be the happiest girl because I think I’ve always been in love with him. I trace circles on his abs, running my finger down to his happy trail and back up. “Remember when I tried to paint your nails?” I ask.

“How could I forget?
” He laughs and I can tell his energy level has plummeted. “I’m just happy I’m a light sleeper.”

I swat at his stomach.
“Light sleeper, my ass! You forget I’ve spent a lot of nights with you. I bet I could get those nails painted.”

He
tickles under my chin, making me giggle and I grab his hand linking our fingers.

I
loved you even then,” he says.

“You told me.
”

He nods.
“Lex, I’ve loved you for a long time.”

“Why? I mean, aside from my awesome butt
,” I say jokingly, because I don’t know if my body can possibly handle anymore joy. It’s overfilled and I seriously might burst if he continues.

“You goof.
” I laugh at his nickname for me and cuddle into his side, taking in his Ryan scent. He kisses my forehead then gently urges me to look into his eyes. “I love you for every reason under the sun. Your laugh”—he touches the corner of my mouth—“your dimples, your friendship. And yeah, your body.” He squeezes my middle and I let out a little squeal. “I love that I know that’s exactly what you would do.” He brushes the hair out of my face, cupping my cheek and running his thumb across my skin. “I love all of you.”

Tears well in my eyes because I don’t want this moment to end. I want to stay in this bed forever. Freeze this
exact moment in time and not let anything taint the perfection because reality is just on the other side of that door. Things out of our control. I need to know what we have will be a constant in my life. The one thing that no matter what life throws at us will always be there. “That won’t change, right?” I ask.

His
brows crinkle and I run my finger across the creases. “Never. Why?”

“Sometimes this step…”
I gesture to our intertwined bodies. “Changes things.”

He
pulls my face to his, kissing me passionately, and I lose myself in him just like I have every time since that first kiss. His forehead rests against mine and I listen to his breaths. “I won’t ever love someone like I love you. So even if things change, that won’t. I promise.”

I don’t know if he realizes it, but he always knows the right things to say. “You’re good you know. With the charming stuff.”

“Just being honest.”

“I know. No eyebrow twitch.” I reach up and push at his brow, then tuck into his side. Resting my head against his chest, I listen to the beat of his heart and let the memories of our afternoon together fill my mind.

“Lex?
”

“Mmm?”
I manage through my sleepy haze.

“I love you for that too.”

“For what?”

“For knowing who I am and still loving me.”

I lightly kisses his chest, and he tightens his arm around me, pulling me close, trailing kisses from my forehead down my cheek, to my dimple.

I kept waiting for this
perfect moment because I thought it needed to be planned. For everything to work out, and all the pieces to be just right. The thing is. There is no one perfect moment because with Ryan every second together is perfect.

And even though I don’t know what will happen in the future, I’m certain of one thing. Ryan will be there just as he always has.

I snuggle into the crook of his neck and press my lips to his jaw. “I love you,” I whisper and finally allow myself to succumb to sleep.

***

I open my eyes amazed the sun is no longer high above the horizon. It has slipped back into hiding for the night replaced by a full moon, creating a shimmering path on the ocean’s surface.

Other than the waves crashing on the shore, the only thing I hear is Ryan’s deep breathing. His arm wraps snug around me
, and for a single second I think I might have died and gone to heaven. Because let’s be honest. Does it get better than this?

For months, each time Ryan kissed me, I wanted him more than I ever wanted him before. It made me crazy, emotional
, and completely irrational. I just knew…
know
he’s the one. I didn’t want to wait a second longer.

I didn’t need the perfect moment. The perfect place. Or the perfect background music. Because when Ryan brought me back to the house for a pudding cup
, the last thing I expected was that would be the moment that changed everything.

It wasn’t planned. It was completely unsuspected.
It was just me and him being us. And it was the absolute perfect moment. No planning in the world could have got it as right as it was.

I smile at the thought of sticking the can of whip
ped cream down Ryan’s pants and pushing on the nozzle. In response my stomach growls like a ravenous mountain lion. Other than the chocolate pudding Ryan smeared across my lip, I haven’t eaten a single thing.

Very slowly, so I don’t wake him—he looks too peaceful—I slide out of the bed and then slap a hand over my mouth as a giggle slips out at the memory of our ski trip and my less than graceful sneak out. Even back then I knew Ryan was the one. I was just too dumb or blind or whatever to realize it.

Before I head to the kitchen and ransack the cabinets, I lean against the floor to ceiling window and watch Ryan sleep. I’m a little sore, but Kaylee prepared me for that so I’m not thinking that he ripped my lady bits to shreds.

His back rises and falls and I smile at his sexy bed head and the way the pillow pushes his cheek into his lips. The way his other cheek twitches and the slow smile that tugs at the corner. I wonder if he’s dreaming about me.

I slip a pair of shorts on and pull one of Ryan’s T-shirts over my head. It’s baggy enough I don’t have to put a bra on. I go to walk and…Okay so it’s not as bad as that time at the gyno, but it’s still a little…wet down there.

I grab a tissue and wipe it up and tip toe over to the garbage and push my hand into it to hide the tissue. Not that there’s anything criminal on it, but still eww.

My hand smacks something solid. Kind of soft and…I don’t even know. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I pull whatever it is out of the garbage. I have to push my mouth shut because I don’t think I have the ability to have it close on its own.

The last thing I expected when I pulled my hand out of that garbage was a banana wearing a raincoat.

After staring at it for what feels like a century, I drop it back in the garbage and cover it up, vowing to permanently forget that ever happened. Nail polish remover to the brain!

The floor creaks as I take a step toward the door
, and I freeze, but Ryan is still smiling, I could totally paint his nails right now, and he’d never wake up. As tempting as that is, I have too much energy to have a steady hand. Besides I need my bestie.

I open the door then carefully close it. My first
step, and I kick something hard. “What the…?”

Kaylee sits up rubbing her head. “Ouch!” she yells
, and I tackle her to the floor holding my hand over her mouth.

Her big cartoon
-like eyes widen in shock. I hold my finger up and shush her. Then point to the door and mouth, “Sleeping.”

She nods then grabs my hand
. My feet practically fall out from under me as she yanks me towards the kitchen. She pushes me into a stool, and I jump back up. “I’m starving.”

“I’ll feed you. You talk,” she says
with an
ü
ber goober smile on her face.

“How do you know there is anything to talk about?” I ask, playing it completely coy even though I want to spill my guts across the counter.

“Oh come on. You disappear in the middle of the day and don’t resurface until the middle of the night. You had sex.”

No beating around the bush with this one.
I smile just as dorky as she is, and she starts jumping up and down like the hyped up cheerleader she should’ve been. I’m expecting pom poms to come out and her to start cheering S-E-X.

A high pitch noise echoes through the kitchen
, and I’m not sure if it came from her mouth or her nose. Then as if the over the top antics aren’t enough she starts clapping. Doesn’t she realize this isn’t a concert? Or the Olympics. No need to clap.

“
Tell me. Tell me. Tell me,” she finally says. “I’ve been waiting all night to get the details.”

My mind drifts back to the hallway when I kicked her in the head. “Wait a minute! Were you waiting outside my door all night?”

Kaylee’s eyes go wide again, and she shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Oh my…
Kaylee what if we were still… you know…?”

“It was his first time, Lex. I bet
my magazine collection that Ryan is passed out cold. Mother Nature could be PMS-ing right now and turn that ocean”—she point to the glass doors—“into a raging sea of death and swallow him whole, and he’d still be sleeping with a big ol’ smile on his face.”

I laugh. How can I not? If it wasn’t for that sexy smile on his face
, I would’ve thought he was dead.

“Not your magazine collection,” I say in mock shock.

“Talk,” she says and places a plate of crackers in front of me then walks to the fridge and gets a block of cheese and starts cutting it into small slices.

My stomach growls just at the sight, and I toss a cracker in my mouth before my stomach takes it upon itself to reach out and grab it on its own.

“What do you want to know?” From the minute I woke up from my sex induced coma, I wanted to find Kaylee and tell her everything, but now…I don’t know what to say.

“Did it hurt?” she ask
s, placing a piece of cheese on a cracker and handing it to me.

“At first. But he was so slow and gentle that it didn’t really bother me. He was saying all these adorable things and…” I let the words drift off as my mind recalls all the words.

“Okay. You need to go back to the very beginning. No leaving out details. Well except for the really graphic stuff. I know how it all works.”

I throw a cracker at her head
, and she cocks a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. “I’m not Ryan. A food fight won’t distract me from the impending issue.”

“Funny that you say that.
It started with a food fight.”

“I figured. You forgot to clean up. Lucky I got to the house first while the boys helped Nick build a bonfire. I took care of it before there were any questions.”

“I owe you one,”

“No you don’t.” She waves her hand at me. “Just talk.”

I tell Kaylee about the whipped cream and pudding fight and how I never would have been able to plan that perfect of a moment.

She puts the knife down and rests her elbow on the counter, her chin on the palm of her hand, and her eyes glue to me as she hangs on every word I say.

“You know in the movies how they have all those shower scenes and they look so romantic and sexy.”

She nods.

“Well, what a crock that is. We started out in the shower and when he started kissing my neck, I got all lightheaded in the
oh my God this is amazing
kind of way, and my body relaxed and I kind of leaned back, but my foot slipped out from under me, and I went flying towards the wall. Ryan reached out to grab me, but then he smacked his hand on that rack with all our toiletries on it and a shampoo bottle fell out, landing right on his foot. You should see the bruise!”

Kaylee bursts out
laughing, her 34B’s bouncing with each intake of breath.

“It’s so not funny.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I’m not even done.”

“Please continue,” she says, waving her hand at me.

“The bottle hit his foot
, so he pulled it up to him and started jumping up and down, but then
he
slipped, and I reached out to grab him, but that boy is solid and my hand slid off of him. I went to grab for anything and grabbed his…you know.”