Beale Street Blues (14 page)

"Well, go and find something," her mom urged, "Get out of here and let us finish this." Her mom fanned her hands at them pushing them out of the house.

Jaxon drove with no agenda. The plane that buzzed through the air overhead gave him an idea. Moments later, he pulled up to the lot he frequented as a child with his father. They'd sit for hours and watch the planes come and go. Maybe that's why the old man had a thing for stewardesses. The homes that used to line the perimeter were gone. Vaguely, he remembered something about the airport purchasing a bunch of homes and bulldozing them. But, the park they'd created fit his needs. Funny that all those years, he'd only been around the corner from the woman who left him breathless, he thought. "Your parents do that cook-out often?"

"Every year."

"You have a huge family."

"They're not really members of our family. They're church members and foster children." She opened the door and walked to the front of the car. "My parents have always volunteered or done something…anything anybody needed or asked of them."

He followed behind her tossing a jacket from the trunk of his rental car over the hood. Then, he lifted her and placed her on it. "Your family is loved by a lot of people"

"Everyone they meet." She smiled. Thoughtful silence preceded her words. "Yeah, for as long as I can remember, my parents have formally or informally taken in foster children."

"My mom does a lot of volunteering, too. " He sat on the hood beside her. "Recently, she was nominated and received an award for her work back home in Nashville."

"That's pretty awesome. Maybe that's why she gets along so well with my parents."

"Maybe."

"Why do you say that?"

Jaxon's mother threw herself into her charity work because she was a wonderful woman, but she'd also been lonely. Filling long empty days and longer lonely nights volunteering, he was sure, beat the hell out of crying over a cheating husband and a philandering son. "I think my mom did it to have something to do, instead of spending her days and nights alone."

"But, she still made a difference in people's lives, or they wouldn't have given her an award."

"I'm proud of her. I think what she's done is important." He thought about all the years his mother had spent fundraising for one cause or another. The time she'd spent working with her church's outreach programs. Her favorite project helped fund computer labs in inner-city schools, when she didn't raise the money she needed, she dipped deeper into her own pockets to reach her goal to have the project completed. "It's just that I know a lot of it is because of me."

"Don't be so sure our parents did it for different reasons," she whispered as she raised a hand in the air and squinted one eye shut. "After I left for school, I think my parents felt a little like empty nesters, and they had a ton of love to handout. Especially, because…"

"Because why?"

"I lost a sister, Charity, when she was three." She continued to squeeze something between her fingers. "You know as kids we'd lay on blankets in the front yard, while our parents watched over us, counting and squeezing stars." She laughed, somberly. "My sister thought she could help the planes fly by squishing the stars, then she'd put them back by unsquishing them." With tears in her eyes, she propped herself up on one elbow and rubbed at a faint scar on her leg. "Funny what kids believe, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Darling. I had no idea." He reached for the single tear dangling from her dark lashes, but it splashed to the hood of the car before he could brush it away. "No wonder your parents are so well loved. They put all the love they had for your sister into you and the community around them."

She nodded her head in agreement. "Your mom does the same."

She was right. But, the only problem was his mother hadn't lost him or his father to death. His father left for the woman that would say yes to anything, including sneaking around with a married man until she got what she wanted. He'd left out of shame for being that man's son. "I guess so."

She leaned back against the windshield. "My husband and I never had children." She paused. "At least, not together."

The fact that she hadn't had another man's children did make him happy. "Did the two of you try for kids?"

She crossed her legs at the ankles. "We did, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Darling patted the lower region of her stomach.

The innocent gesture instantly ignited a need deep inside of him. He remembered too well the feel of her soft warm skin as he'd rested his head there briefly before he'd moved further down her body. The lower he'd traveled, the more she'd moaned and begged for the touch of his tongue to her sex. But, he'd held out as long as he could. Torturing both himself and her.

Slowly, her one hand slid down her stomach to her right thigh. "I think that ship has sailed." She paused. "What about you?"

He dragged his eyes away from her hands and the memories they touched before he embarrassed himself. "My mother wants me to be a father. But, I don't know what kind of father I'll be." The confession he'd shared with his mother he was now sharing with the woman he was sure he was beginning to fall in love with.

"Why? Because of your father?"

What could he tell a son about being a good husband or father? What could he tell a daughter about choosing a good man? He could show either pictures of himself and his father, and say don't be like or pick a man like us. "Because he wasn't there and I've spent more time doing anything and everything other than being a good man."

"Role model. That's a hard one. I don't know how good I'd be at that one either." She smiled. "Did you really come to my parents' house because you wanted to see me?"

"Yes."

"You could've called."

He placed his feet on the ground and stood, then he reached for her, pulling her down the length of the hood of the car. Her thighs rested on the outside of his. There were a lot of things he could and wanted to do with her in that position, but tonight he needed to look into her troubled brown eyes and talk. "Darling, if I would've called, you would have shot me down."

Her eyes fell to the ground, briefly. "Maybe."

"There's no maybe. I know we need to think about work, but I own the company. I don't know what's ahead, but if it came to it…you won't have to work."

She leaned back and lowered her torso, resting her weight onto her arms. "There's no way I'd ever stop working. I would never allow myself to be completely reliant on a man to take care of me and my children."

He rubbed his hands up and down the length of her bare legs. "So, you do still want children?" His heart beat a little faster as he waited for her response.

"If I can ever find what I'm looking for and besides there's always adoption."

"What are you looking for?" He leaned a little closer spreading her legs a little wider.

Darling slid up the car away from him. The planes overhead stirred the air around them nearly drowning out her words. "I don't know."

The night breeze that wrapped around them mingled her perfume with his cologne and the earthiness of the nearby trees. The scent intoxicated him. "I don't think I knew what I was looking for, but now that I've met you…I want you to give me a chance." He leaned in a little more.

This time, she didn't move. "A chance for what? You're my boss, and my divorce isn't even final."

"Do we have to label it, or know much more than how we feel when we're around each other?"

She didn't respond quickly. "How do you feel?"

"I think about you a lot. When I think about the weeks and months ahead, I think about how you can be a part of them."

Her eyes fell to her stomach. "I don't know. I'm not sure."

Jaxon placed his hand underneath her chin and lifted her eyes to his. "Stop thinking so much." This time, her perfume reached out and grabbed him. He wanted to get closer. She might bite him, but he kissed her anyway. Instead of biting him, she teased him by only allowing him the quickest touch before she pulled away.

"I'm sorry." He moved to step back.

She reached for him and twisted her fingers into the folds of the t-shirt he wore. Tightening her grip, she pulled him to her. Lengthwise, they stretched out on the hood of his car. As the metal popped and pinged, they explored each other's bodies underneath the rumbles of the planes with only the trees around them to protect them from would-be onlookers.

The feel of her body excited him almost beyond his control. As many nights as he'd dreamed of this moment again, he wasn't going to let it happen on the hood of his rental car. Pushing up from the car, he kept her body pressed hard against his own. Too close to his own climax, he broke her kiss. "Let's go back to my hotel."

Heavily hooded eyes began to clear as she slid her hands along her body assessing what he'd done. "Maybe, you should take me back to my parents' house before…"

She'd already changed her mind. "Before what?"

"Before we go too far."

"What's too far, Darling?" He continued to hold her close. "I want to be with you. And just now, I'm pretty sure you wanted to be with me too."

"I'm just not sure we should do this. Too much would change."

Whatever she wanted is what would be done, but damn he needed to hear her answer, so he wouldn't keep making a fool of himself. "If you want this to end right now, it will. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself on you."

She softly pushed him away, threw her legs over the side of the car and hopped down. "Let's go."

CHAPTER TWELVE

D
arling wasn't sure how long they'd sat inside the car before Jaxon started the engine. But, when the engine roared something inside of her screamed. She lunged yanking the key from the ignition. "Why are you playing games with the poor divorcee?"

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked with brows pinched and a thin-lipped expression.

The first night, she understood. They'd been drinking and dancing. But, he wasn't stopping. He didn't have to lie to her to get her into his bed. He'd already had her in his bed. "Why are you trying so hard to have sex with me?"

He held his hand out. "Give me my keys."

"Not until you explain why?" She didn't have time to be a temporary trophy for another man.

"Darling, if you think this is just about sex, we don't need to do this now or ever."

His words upset her more than she expected anything he said to her could. Damn it! Why did the hurt in his voice wound her, too? She wanted to feel the warm firmness of his chest against her body. She needed the comfort and safety of his arms as he'd offered the night she showed up at his hotel unannounced. "I'm sorry. I don't know…"

This stiffness of his back and the coldness of his expression softened. "Darling, I told you I want you. I'm not playing any sort of games with you. I know you're concerned because of the job."

"Concerned!" She threw the keys at him. "I pay my bills with the money you pay me. Sleeping with you would just make me a hooker."
Or, a fool.
Maybe both.

"Hooker?" He searched for the keys between his legs. "That's really what you think?"

"How would you describe it?"

He cranked up the car. "What do you want me to do? Fire you? Or, quit myself?"

She frowned as she let his statement sink in. What was he supposed to do? "That doesn't make sense."

"That's my point." He turned the car off. "I want you Darling, but I don't know what to do. Everything I try seems to be wrong." He rested his head against his headrest.

For the first time, Darling allowed her eyes to take their time. Not with a gaze filtered through the bottom of an empty vodka glass, or from across a conference table, or through a crowd of women lined up at a grill waiting for seconds, but unhindered by anything except her heart—she took in all of him. From the black curls of his hair, some kissed with hints of grey, to his thick brows, fuller nose, well-kept mustached mouth—he was gorgeous. His eyes were closed, but when they opened and he turned his gaze toward her, she wanted to twist her fingers through the curls of his hair, grab hold and pull him close. "You don't understand," she said.

"Then how about you explain it to me."

The sincerity of his green gaze fired through her. "It's too late to drag out my past." Darling closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. It'd been months, but still nausea rolled over her at the thought of Steve loving another. Why? She didn't love him. She didn't hate him. She just didn't. Not anymore. "I'm tired of it all."

"Darling, what…tell me? What do you need from me?"

"I've been down this road before."

"What road?"

The warmth of his hand to her cheek both calmed and excited her body.

"Open your eyes. Talk to me."

She wanted to cry. Not for Steve. But, for herself. It'd been too long since she'd allowed herself the tenderness of a man. The kindness. The warmth. As the memories of her life with Steve flooded her mind, she began to hope a little that what Jaxon offered might be real. "It feels like ages ago—when he came into my life." She moved his hand from her face to her lap and held it between her own. His nearness grounded her in reality and provided her contact that she desperately needed. "He was what I thought I wanted in a man and I fought hard for him…"