Beast of Venery (24 page)

              "Oh my God!" She screamed, and instantaneously sat straight up in the bed.

              "What the hell is it?" Sleepily he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked for her face in the dark. "Are you awake or are you dreaming?"

              "I know where the frame is from." She whispered in absolute horror and placed her hand in front of her mouth, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe her own mind.

              "What?"

              Not able to comprehend the sudden turn of events, he saw her throw the comforter off her legs, quick feet motioned her out of the bedroom in no time. Rubbing his hands over his eyes, letting them comb slowly through his hair, his body followed the same move and slowly trailed down the dark hallway towards the light of the living room. He found her standing by the side table, still covered in gifts, holding the yellow picture frame in her hands.

              The light from the corner lamp of the room casted a shadow over her body, but he was still able to see the horrifying look on her face when he caught up to her.

              "What is it, babe?" He said tiredly, following the direction of her eyes to the little frame of yellow porcelain. Her head kept shaking as she couldn't believe what she was about to say, and that frightened him.

              "What? Tell me what it is."

She swallowed hard and with constricting hands she held the frame in front of her.

              "These pieces are not from some random porcelain plate. This frame is made of porcelain pieces of my yellow flower pots that used to decorate the windows in the living room where I lived with Brian. I left them behind with so many other things I knew I didn't need again. Who gave me this gift? Who? Who gave me th..."

              "I don't know!" He answered heatedly, his voice rising cutting her of.

              "This was the one gift without a card attached to it. I remember opening it with your mom earlier. Brian wasn't here, so how did it make it into the house? Who the fuck could have brought this?"

              "Hold on. Are you really sure this comes from your pots. I mean, it could in fact be porcelain from any yellow plate or pot, it doesn't have to come from yours."

              "See these two sparkling dots in the frame?" She held it up close to his face, making his tired eyes squint a little in the light.

              "Yeah, so?"

              "Hmm." She laughed mockingly. "Those are the two earrings Brian gifted me for our very first Valentine's Day, before I understood how nuts he was. He enticed me with these, and I was too small-minded to read anything into it. The one and only gift I ever got from him."

              Andy's eyes were suddenly wide open, and he took the frame from her hands to study it closer. Eventually he glanced back at her in silence, but she knew he understood she was not making this up.

              "I have no idea how it made it into the house, babe. I really don't. If someone brought it, I have no clue who it was. When everyone arrived this evening I was too busy greeting people, taking jackets, and serving champagne. I didn't pay attention to the gifts. People just kept them coming, placing them on the table right here. And... there were only friends and family here tonight."

              "I can't believe this!" She shouted and ran her hands through her hair, pacing the living room like a confined animal.

              "Okay, calm down. I'll wake up my parents and we'll leave for the cabin now. Grab your bag and get dressed if you like, or you can just stay in those pajamas. It doesn't matter. The cabin is a while away, you'll probably need to..."

              "Just please stop talking and get your parents so we can go." She pleaded while she rested her hands on top of her head, utter distress rising within her body, making every single cell constrict. Her body was burning up.

              Andy tossed the picture frame back onto the table and strode over to seize her just before she passed out.

              "Hey babe, you're having a panic attack. Breathe, everything will be fine. Listen to how I'm breathing, breathe with me." He pressed her close to his chest and made the twisting muscles of her body pay attention and follow his.

              "Slow, babe. Breathe slowly. In... out... in...out." His hand caressed her back in slow firm strokes, her body shivering with goose bumps from the adrenaline rush leaving her body. He placed his mouth on her forehead, tasting small drops of salt. The fright had juiced every muscle inside her into nothing. She was sweating profusely, but as soon as it hit her skin in turned ice cold.

              "Am I fainting?"

              "No, I'm holding you. Just let the adrenaline rush leave your body and you will go back to normal. Just keep on breathing with me. If you keep up that fast pace you're going to run out of oxygen, and that might make you pass out. Please, just calm down. Calm down." He held her close to his chest, making them both kneel down on the floor.

              "My God." She finally said. "I'm exhausted, what was that?"

              "That was a panic attack. Just overload of everything in your brain. Overload of everything in your life lately. Stress and anxiety can do that to you. Trust me, I know. Tristan from work went through the same thing after his divorce. I've seen it."

              After a while he kissed her forehead and stood them both up. With her legs still rather unsteady, she leaned into his chest and let herself listen to his heartbeat. It was a soothing steady rhythm she could follow.

              "Are you okay to stand on your own?" He asked and leaned back to see her face.

              "Yeah, I think so. I'm going to use the bathroom and then lay down on the bed for a little bit. Shout when it's time to leave." On wobbly legs, shivers still attempting to swathe her body, she wrapped her arms around her damp t-shirt and slowly sauntered back down the hallway.

                                                                      *              *              *

              The road up through the forest was as twisted as the curves of a snake. Never having visited their forest cabin, Danielle clenched the pillow tightly to her chest and rested her forehead on the car window in the backseat, allowing the cool glass to calm down the anxiety still pulsating through every part of her body. In pulses it came, hiding calmly beneath the surface of her skin before awaken again and roar with cascading fire through her body. 

              When Andy spilled the contents of his heart prior to her meltdown, it had felt as if the blood running under her skin was catching fire, and it still hadn't stopped. Across the surface of the skin covering her chest, carmine colored red streaks had developed and when she now peeked down inside her sweater, the streaks were still there. Her body and mind didn't cooperate, and what her heart said seemed to be completely out of the picture. Her body was fighting an internal battle she didn't seem to rule over.

              The obscurity of the backseat made it hard to look anywhere but out, watching light pole after light pole rush by the window, but she felt him. A warm hand searched hers and took it away from the firm hold of the pillow. Andy's hand held hers in the dark, letting it rest in the empty seat between them. He didn't have to say anything, she was content he even touched her. Maybe their marriage wasn't going to shatter into small ill-fitting pieces after all? His subtle gesture meant a lot.

              “Lean back and relax. Fall asleep if you want. We're still miles away, so take a snoozer and I'll wake you when we get there.”

              Just hearing the low baritone of his voice made her sleepy. The richness of his voice carried through the layers of anxiety and dismay, soothed the painful tremble inside her. His smooth voice gave soft commands and it allow her head to lean back against the seat, still trying to sort through the million of thoughts rushing in light speed through her mind.

              What a maddening long day this turned out to be. The length of weeks or years could have fitted inside this day, yet it hadn't taken more than twenty-four hours for everything to happen. Maybe even less than that.

              Interrupted in her dream by a shake to the shoulder, she opened her eyes and sucked in a sudden gasp of cool air. She swiftly shoved the hand off shoulder and sat straight up in the seat, ready to punch whatever threat that approached her.

              “What? Where are we?”

              “Mom and dad had to stop for gas and use the restroom at the gas station. You want anything to eat, or do you need to use the restroom as well?” Andy asked calmly.

              “I... I'm just going to go back to sleep... or no, I need to use the restroom as well.”

              She pushed the pillow up to the window behind her, letting it block out the ominous light shining down from the fluorescing lamps outside. As she reached for the handle of the door, Andy gently grabbed her arm not wanting her to leave the warm confinement of the car quite yet.

              “I'm sorry I said all those things back home. I didn't mean it. I'm not tired of us. I'm tired of him. I was just so frustrated at the whole situation and that we had to leave our home because of him. He should be the one leaving, having to run away from us. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. You know I do.” He pleaded quietly.

              “So you let me suffer for a whole awful night thinking I might wake up this morning with you packing your bag and leaving me? Thanks for not letting me know about your true feelings sooner. Last night was dreadful.”

              “I'm sorry.” He whispered, his warm hand holding her arm gently.

              “That's alright, it's not like it's your ex or anything. It's mine and I have to be the one dealing with him. I'm sorry I dragged you and your whole family into this shit. But it is what it is, and somehow I need to figure out how to fix it. Until I do I guess I have to keep running. With or without you.”

              She yanked her arm out of his grip and stepped out in the cool air of the night. Just before the car door slammed shut, she heard his response. Unfortunately it felt a bit too late.

              “It's with me baby, with me.”

              "Yeah, right. Like this wasn't Brian's plan all along. To split them up. To get them to give up on each other, to irritate each other, and to argue. If this continued, who knew what their future might look like?"
Her mind was racing in the same speed as her flat shoes over the cemented parking lot into the station.

              The lone bell to the front door jingled brightly as she stepped inside and again she squinted her eyes under the florescent lights hanging in the ceiling.

              “Hey, darling, you hungry?”

              Jo was her sweet self and nothing seemed to affect her at all. She on the other hand was a tired, grumpy, wreck. Wishing to give the world the finger and then ask everyone to leave her alone.

              “No, just have to use the bathroom that's all. Be out in a minute.”

              “Okay, darling. I'll be in the car. We'll be filling up the tank while we wait for you.”

              With a small nod she watched Jo step back out in the darkness and join her husband by the pump. Andy was still inside the backseat doing whatever. Maybe he was even able to go back to sleep. It seemed like she was the only one going all haywire inside. But maybe it was just because she knew, firsthand, what Brian's rage could do if he ever found her again. They were always just the bystanders.

              The trend of florescent lighting seemed to continue into the bathroom. The beige walls made the bathroom look tired and old. Possibly only used my truck drivers who didn't want to wait in line for the men's room. Without any luck feeling for a sheet of paper for the toilet seat she came to the conclusion, which every woman does when they can't sit down, she would have to squat midair over the toilet seat and pray to God her tush didn't come in contact with the dirty beige ring. Sitting down bare-assed would not be an option unless a vaccination shot could be provided at the check-out counter.

              In the midst of squatting and trying to hold her pants up, her cell phone beeped in the back pocket of her jeans. Knowing her luck, and her tired state of being, she would probably drop it in the toilet by accident trying to wiggle it out of her pants. It was most likely Andy wondering when she was coming back out. But in the mood she was in, he could certainly wait.

              She let the phone beep, not once but twice, while she finished her business and stood back up. She unhurriedly zipped up her pants and took a few steps over to the sink hanging half-way of the wall, and peered into the scratched up mirror on the tiled wall in front of her.

              God, she looked like crap. If Andy decided to take out a divorce tonight, this would be the perfect time. It would be difficult to look any worse than she already did. Pale skin with a few breakouts, most definitely from all the stress and anxiety the last hours had provided. She was just glad she hadn't had a heart attack after all the events today. Being threatened by Brian, face the guests at the party, finding the picture frame, and having Andy confess he was tired of dragging her past history behind them constantly.