Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series) (43 page)

             
He grinned at her strained rescue attempt for politeness and replied in a perfectly civilized manner, “I'm very well, thank you. And you?”

“
I'm okay. Er, thanks.” He smiled and then there was an awkward pause that Swain was secretly relishing in as he watched her squirm. “So... you don't look like you're on your way to the gym?”

             
He shook his head. “I'm here to see you actually.”

“
Me? What could you want with me?”

             
He grinned teasingly and under sultry eyelids he dazzled her with his almond eyes as he whispered, “Is that an invitation?”

             
She leant back, knowing he was joking -at least she
hoped
he was- but still couldn't stop feeling uneasy with the lustful attention he was giving her.

             
He blinked becoming purposeful again. “Join me in the kitchen?” She frowned at him as he half turned smiling light as he asked mischievously, “You don't trust me?”

             
She produced a joke to cover her discomfort around him, “Of course I do. I still owe you for a cramped calf, don't I?”

             
He grinned at her and even she had to admit he had very attractive smile. It had a boyish, but also mature sultry, carefree, and confident-without being arrogant- air to it. Something you could only pull off naturally.

“
When I get one, you'll be the first I'll ask for a massage. Follow me,” he responded, grinning brighter.

             
He led her down a hallway she'd never been through before. It was near the front of the building where the swimming pool took up space, but you had to maneuver through several hallways before you could get to the kitchen.

             
The kitchen was on the very left of the building, right next to a spacious dining room concealed by frosted double doors. They had a thin border of clear glass framing them and Jaz could just make out a grand table. It was so huge she was sure it could seat the whole village and then some.

             
The kitchen, opposite, was tiled with white limestone. The walls were a light sunflower yellow and the ceilings were very high with exposed varnished beams.

             
This part of the building did not possess the curved stone walls that her old cell/bedroom and Nik's room was molded from. They were above ground here. The walls were thick and still had that signature shapely appearance that gave the place character, but apart from that, the design of the upper levels was completely different.

             
The curves of the walls were tamed by the straight lines of the cupboards and worktops. They were made of a sturdy looking white granite. The cupboards were solid oak with charming old brass handles that reminded Jaz of her bedroom desk.

             
There were three -yes three- enormous stainless steel, built in fridges at odd ends of the room, -
just in case one happens to be too far away
, she sniggered in her head- a walk in freezer on the left wall and a pantry on the opposite wall.

             
A very conspicuous stainless steel sink occupied the right hand side corner, where a length-ways window expanded across that one wall stopping inches from one of the three monstrous fridges that stood next to the pantry sliding door.

             
The same window was stretched along the opposite side, leaving the middle wall in front of them dressed in a white splash-back. This wall was swamped by the gigantic, professional ten burner caterer cooker. The stainless steel that clothed it was so shiny she could see herself from that distance reflected in it.

             
In the middle of the kitchen was a solid oak island with the matching granite worktop. Silver barstools with white leather were scattered around it, pans and saucepans hung over it on a metal hanging rack like a stainless steel chandelier. She counted eight  barstools in all and took the one closest to her after watching Swain park himself casually on his.

             
The room was completely empty. Surprising. Seeing how much people ate here. How much she now ate and happily didn't put on any weight. Not in fat anyway.

             
Swain, guessing her thoughts, told her something about the staff being given the day off so it was more of a help-yourself-day, but she barely listened to what he was saying.

             
Then she asked, “So, what is it?”

“
I have a message from Nik.”

             
She managed impassive as a response. “Okay.”

“
He's asked me to invite you to the Council meeting at twelve-thirty today.”

             
Jaz's brow furrowed. “Why? I'm not a council member. I've never even set foot in that room before.”

“
He thought you'd want to be present when they discuss the coming duel,” Swain clearly disagreed with the idea.

             
Jaz bristled at the last word. “What would be the point in that? What could I say that they, let alone
he
, would want to hear? That's if I'm even allowed to say anything at all?”

             
Swain gave her a look that showed he had thought the same thing and found the whole thing pointless. “I guess he wants you to know what's going on. To feel in the loop,
he
said.”

             
Jaz snorted. “It makes no difference to me,” she remarked so indifferently it left Swain with his mouth hanging open, staring at her in disbelief. “He can do what he wants. He's going to anyway whether I come or not.”

“
You don't care if he goes?”

“
Of course I care. He's my sister's- my dead sister's husband. That counts for something in my books. I feel like I have a duty to make sure he's okay, for her sake. But he's already made up his mind. I don't understand why he couldn't just say no. I mean just because some tosser demands a duel he has to accept it? Why?”

“
He doesn't
have
to. And in past times he hasn't. But this time it's different. Things are very tense at the moment. He doesn't want to look vulnerable or chicken to anyone. I know it must be hard to understand-”

“
Huh! The part about not looking weak? I understand perfectly. It's all about pride and status and power.
Men
. They're all the same no matter where they are.” She folded her arms in annoyance. “But if he wants people to see him as a guy who thinks for himself. Who's strong and doesn't take any crap from anyone then he should have declined it. In fact he should have told Kain to go fuck himself.” Swain's face lit up in amusement. “The fact Nik's scared that he has to keep up an appearance,  to look tough by accepting this duel, actually just makes him look weak. Appearing strong and
being
strong are not the same thing. He's doing it because he feels he's got no other choice, but he does. He should give the other Packs who doubt his strength a big 'Up Yours' by not doing what everyone expects of him. That he doesn't care what people think.”

             
Swain smiled and released a small laugh. “Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. Not when you have a whole community to think about. I think if it was just him, he'd have done exactly what you've said. And I'm getting the feeling you think he's going to lose the dual? He could win, then what? You wouldn't think it was a mistake then.”

             
She shook her head in disagreement. “Firstly, I know he's a great fighter. I've seen him fight and no one can even touch him.”

“
You
did,” he reminded her. She couldn't help smiling at that. Swain's expression hinted that he had been impressed when he'd found out.

             
She sighed, “But I don't know what it will be like with Kain against Nik, in a duel. The circumstances are different than in his own gym back home with friends. And secondly, lets say he did kill Kain. As much as I hate Kain for getting his mutt to do this to me,” she signalled at her bandaged jaw, “it's still killing someone. A nasty someone, but still. He probably has people in his Pack who care about him. Loved ones. A mate. Parents, children... brothers, sisters, cousins. Friends. I just don't see how that is winning. That
has
to get to you. Knowing you killed a person who meant something to someone.”

             
Swain gazed at her thoughtfully. “And if he didn't have anyone back home to miss him?”

             
Jaz looked levelly at him. “Then I'd feel even more sorry for him.”

             
Swain's eyes stared unblinking at her as if transfixed. What she'd said had moved him. Surprised him. So much so that he was staring at her for a full minute before she had to break the silence. “Anyway, tell Nik I said thanks but no thanks.” And with that she got up and walked out.

             
In his mind he'd done his job and was relieved she'd turned the offer down.

             
In her mind she'd done her job and was relieved he hadn't suspected she'd known he would come, and had declined because Nik had asked her to the night before.

                                                                                    *

             
Jaz spent the day going through angry arguments with Driver in her head. Everything she wanted to say to him she spewed in her brain, a set annoyed expression on her face. She didn't speak to anyone, not even Edda, but inside she couldn't stop talking. Well, more like
yelling
, at Driver.

How could you do that!? Are you a bloody idiot!? How could you just accept an invitation to your possible demise like you were
being invited to a frickin' tea party!?

Did your brain fall out of your ass this morning!?

What did we all risk our behinds for if you'd gladly give yours to that slithering slimeball and his hairy biker gang!? Just bend over backwards and let him stick his foot up your backside, it would've been less submissive!

She imagined his response to that being,
Wow, I thought you'd come out with something fouler in language than that. And your speech had the largest amount of variations of arse in it, I've ever heard
.

             
She hated herself for smiling when that thought came to her. It was like even her most private thoughts were under his control and influence.

             
She huffed furiously, scowling at the salad she was chopping. When she started aggressively hacking the lettuce to smithereens, Edda took the knife from her and made her sit down.

             
From dinner until bedtime and beyond, she went through several similar scenarios in her head of what she'd say, what he'd say, how she'd react if he walked into the cabin right at that moment.

             
But all the things that she'd wanted to say. All the strength that she imagined herself having. All the fire and feistiness she worked so hard to keep up just so it would replace the sadness – or the chance of bawling in front of people- vanished when he really did visit her that night.

             
She'd not been able to sleep after having countless nightmares of random things.               Rufus attacking her.

             
Lora resenting her for Nik and turning her back on Jaz in anger.

             
Ronnie being killed- though she'd been told he was fine but had stayed overnight in the infirmary, just to be safe.

             
And then Driver. Being slashed to ribbons by Kain. She'd tried to scream but her voice wasn't there, and then she was choking. Brutus's grip around her throat, cutting off her air.

             
And then she'd sprang up from her damp pillow. Her whole body covered in cold sweat, trembling, her breath erratic and wild.  When her breathing had finally settled back down to a normal pace she'd climbed out of bed to the bathroom.

             
On her way back she stopped mid-step, thinking she had smelt him, but put it down to her imagination. Or just that his scent was still lingering around from a previous visit. She sidled back into her room.

             
This time she did let out a noise that could have been a full on scream had it not been very hastily muffled by Nik's hand over her mouth, as he pressed her up to the door.

             
He gave her a moment to collect herself before he released her. She stayed deathly still as he took a step back.

             
She knew he was waiting for her to behave like she always did. A vigorous slap, a reprimand, a swearword here or there. But she said nothing. The words just wouldn't come out.