Beastly Desires (7 page)
“Both.” Kaisal hung up.
When he returned to the table, Cal’s arguments about not being tired had given way to soft snores. Kam rocked him slowly, humming softly as she ran a hand down his back.
“He always fights it,” she whispered. “And he always loses.”
He watched them both, observed the simple connection between a lioness and her offspring. One would think human genes diluted or reduced the animalistic ones. They would be wrong. The human aspects of shifters only seemed to heighten the need to preserve, to safeguard. There was a glint in Kam’s eye that he’d only encountered while in the presence of a parent defending what or whom they loved. That glint left him breathless.
Exhaling, he said, “There are some battles you lose no matter how strong you think you are.” He reached down and adjusted Cal’s hat. “You can only pray that any wounds sustained aren’t fatal.”
When she looked up, their gazes locked, and he found himself running a finger down her cheek. She didn’t move, didn’t even blink. Her breathing halted and so did Kaisal’s. He wanted to ask her if she felt what he did, if she sensed the almost palpable energy thrumming between the touch of his skin to hers. But he didn’t. He pulled back instead.
“That secluded place you mentioned earlier?” Kaisal cleared his throat. “I think I found it.”
***
“Gun in my face! Gun. In. My. Face!”
Kamali’s lip curled up into a snarl as she pushed the barrel of her revolver just beneath the chin of the male before her. The one who had appeared from seemingly thin air as she and Kaisal finally arrived at what he’d said was a secluded safe haven for herself and Callum. At the moment, it didn’t appear to be too secluded.
The second she stepped outside of her SUV, some dipshit tiger who hadn’t been taught to
never
sneak up on a feline approached her from behind, and she had absolutely no problem slamming him into the side of the vehicle and introducing him to the sensation of cold steel. Too close. He’d gotten too fucking close and she didn’t like it.
“Kam.” Kaisal’s hands eased over her shoulders, his touch gentle, reassuring. “That’s Naresh and he’s here to help.”
“Yeah.” The male panted, nodded. “Help. I’m here to help. Like spermicide on condoms.”
She snarled and he quieted, looking over her shoulder.
Kaisal squeezed her shoulders and his scent lulled her slowly out of her irritation. “I promise you. He’s stupid and harmless.”
“Yeah,” Naresh repeated. “Stupid and… Wait a minute, you son of a bitch…”
Reaching around her, Kaisal lowered her hand then wrapped an arm about her shoulders. “You’re tired and jumpy, sweetheart. We’re going to get things set up for you inside so you and Cal can get some rest.”
Somewhere along the way Kamali had lost her goddamned mind. Maybe it happened the second she’d had to kill again to protect Callum. Maybe it was during her reverie at the deli. Maybe it was when Callum had so solemnly stared at her and asked if Kaisal would be coming with them when they left. No matter when or how, she’d lost it. The fact she was standing in the middle of the woods in Colorado, some foreign tiger pressed up against her back, murmuring to her about how safe she was, was simply a testament to that. What was she doing here? Why hadn’t she taken off yet? What was it about Kaisal’s presence that assuaged every anxiety she’d developed since leaving San Antonio?
Kamali didn’t know. She didn’t understand and the confusion was annoying her. She warred with her lioness, trying to compromise, to reason that she didn’t belong here, didn’t belong to
him
but it wouldn’t listen. Things only seemed to complicate by the second and the longer she remained, the harder it would be to tear herself away. He gave her a reprieve that she hadn’t ever experienced, not even when she’d returned home to her father years ago. This was strange—it was off-putting and she didn’t like it. She didn’t like the emotions he evoked by doing nothing else aside from talking to her son, making him smile, laugh. She didn’t like the fact that he even amused
her
. And she hated the fact she’d only known him for hours but they felt like years.
“There are some battles you lose no matter how strong you think you are.”
Kaisal’s words from earlier had haunted her from the moment she’d started up her SUV and followed him blindly. Because that’s what this was—blind trust.
She dropped her hand and moved away from them both, mumbling, “Sorry.”
Kaisal looked to Naresh. “Go unlock the door.”
The other man blinked. “Have you ever heard of the word ‘please’?”
“Yes,” Kaisal answered. “And if you don’t move I’m going to make sure you say it several times over, accompanied by the words ‘
ouch’, ‘no’, ‘that hurts’
and ‘
can someone call a medic?’
Door. Open.
Now
.”
Grumbling, he did as he was told and Kamali got the feeling this was how the majority of their conversations went. Kaisal turned his attention to her, answering her unspoken question. “Younger brother.” Then he opened the rear passenger side door of her vehicle.
She watched as he carefully unbuckled Callum from his booster seat and lifted him out. Kamali expected Kaisal to hand him over but he only motioned toward the cabin with his head, pressing a hand to Callum’s back. “Let me show you the inside.”
Silently, she followed him and wondered when she’d lost control of her life. At some point, she would have to stop underestimating his casual statements about hotels, restaurants, and apparently cabins in the woods. It wasn’t overtly large at only one story, but it was beautifully designed inside and out with three bedrooms, two full baths, and enclosed back deck. It was enough room for her to comfortably move about in but not so spacious that she couldn’t hear a pin drop should she need to.
It was nestled away from prying eyes but close enough to the main road that she could find her way back at any time. Kamali could rest for a few days and be gone without a backwards glance. She had no idea where she was going next but it needed to be a place where she could blend in. This meant she might have to dye her and Callum’s hair, get colored contact lenses for herself, and find understated work as an artist in some backwoods city. All of these were doable. The problem was, her beast seemed to object to departing from a certain tiger who was gazing at her intently from the doorway of what she’d chosen to be her bedroom. She’d rifled through bags until she found pajamas warm enough for Callum, and then she’d done her best to redress him without disturbing his slumber. This wasn’t hard considering the cub could sleep through an apocalypse and only get up to pee.
“Thank you,” Kamali whispered, avoiding Kaisal’s stare. “It shouldn’t take me long to map out a route further upstate and get a plan together to—”
“Stop.”
She froze, her hands clenching around the comforter she was tucking around Callum.
“You leave when you’re safe and not a day, hour, minute, or second before then,” he softly commanded. “And you leave with the option of coming back at
any
time. No questions, no hesitation. Do we understand one another?”
Kamali nodded, too tired to argue. The appeal of climbing into an actual bed, of eating food that wasn’t mixed with byproducts and substitutes, appealed to her way more than trying to stem Kaisal’s clearly domineering nature. His brother was less pushy, more charming, and had been surprisingly gracious. What was it with their family? Were they used to strays shoving weapons in their faces?
“Good.” His voice was gentle, the rumble making her hands quiver.
She felt a whisper of a touch on the side of her face but when she turned around, he was gone.
By the time she got settled in beside Callum, all Kamali could hear aside from her son’s deep, even breathing was Kaisal’s voice reverberating on the edges of her sluggish mind.
“
You can only pray that any wounds sustained aren’t fatal.”
Was that really all she could pray for?
All he’d asked for was peace and quiet. That was all he wanted—his only request. So why was it that as Kaisal sat on his back porch, staring through the copse of trees in his line of sight, he had to hear all that goddamned groaning? Granted, the groaning was his fault, but when he said he wanted peace and quiet, he
meant
it. Unfortunately, Naresh didn’t seem to get that, which was why he was currently trussed up, covered in bruises, and hanging from a rather sturdy tree branch by his ankles. Every time he moved, the ropes that confined him simply tightened like living vines. Why? Because that was the way Kaisal wanted it, dammit.
“You Boy Scout bastard!”
Taking a slow sip from his coffee mug, Kaisal kept his eyes focused on those trees, watched a small herd of deer traipse through the snow-covered ground and wondered if they would go further, if they’d make their way toward a certain cabin. “Sorry to disappoint you, but we have the same fallen angel to thank for our genetic relation, and I was never in Boy Scouts. It was the nature club.”
“Same difference, asshole.”
He sighed. “Do you plan to continue your whining—which by the way is starting to make my eye twitch and you know what happens when the eye twitching begins—all morning? I’m trying to brood. I can’t brood with the whining.” His brother had thought it a good idea to harass him early in the day concerning things Kaisal didn’t want to talk about;
lionesses
he didn’t want to talk about. The consequences were swift and brutal.
“You can’t brood if you’re slowly bleeding out in a shallow grave, either!”
Scratching the back of his neck, Kaisal asked, “Are you threatening me?”
“Yes!” Naresh bellowed, swinging back and forth as he wiggled.
“Oh…just checking to make sure.” And with an acute sense of calm, Kaisal went back to his coffee and his brooding. The brooding was important. If he brooded, it kept him focused and away from thinking too hard. It kept him away from allowing his tiger to take over. It kept him away from Kam.
Kam.
His beast purred, flashed him a coaxing grin.
Ours.
No,
Kaisal argued.
Not ours.
Yes,
his tiger insisted.
Ours. The cub too. I like him. He amuses me.
Not talking about this right now. Leave me alone, you pushy bastard.
There was a chuff.
You can’t fight it forever.
Quiet. Down.
Silence. Blessed silence.
Sadly, it most likely wouldn’t remain that way. Kaisal wasn’t naïve enough to think he could hide Kam much longer before his pride began to ask questions. They’d smell her and he’d have to atone for it.
It had been three days since he’d left her at Naresh’s cabin, consistently throwing himself into work, into pride business, into whatever he could to forget about those golden eyes ringed in green, tinged in fury and terror, set into a face that haunted him. Kaisal squeezed his mug and exhaled. He could still smell her, still see the complete confusion in her expression. Why? Why was it that everything inside him protested the moment he was away from her? Away from Cal?
It didn’t matter what he did or how many times he did it, his thoughts returned to them. Was there enough food in the cabin, or did she want to go hunting but refrained for fear of being spotted by his pride? Was it warm enough or should he have chopped more wood for the multiple fireplaces? Was the electricity working correctly or was Cal sitting idly by, wishing he could watch cartoons until his head exploded? Was the water heater functioning properly? Was Kam getting any rest? Did she feel safe enough to close her eyes? Was Cal sleeping through the night? Had there been any—
STOP!
Kaisal mentally roared.
Fucking. Stop
. He sucked in a deep breath and then another until his anxiety calmed. Was this how his father felt away on business when he couldn’t be near his mate and kits? Taras had traveled frequently when Kaisal was young. It had taken him years to move all his businesses and vested interests from the Primorye province of Russia and centralize them in the U.S.
Colorado hadn’t been his first choice of where to live, but since its weather and open space slightly mirrored what he was used to at home, it was the most comfortable compromise for himself, those who’d followed him, and Kaisal’s mother. In truth, Kaisal didn’t
need
to work. The Verochka name was stamped across everything from technological industries to vehicle manufacturers and smaller franchises. While Taras had primarily handled the money and investments, Asha handled negotiations. Her manner was a bit gentler and her stare was not as disturbingly borderline demonic as Taras’.
Despite the success that weighed on his identity, Kaisal had still felt the need to do something aside from propping his feet up and benefiting from the efforts of others. Becoming a SEAL allotted him the opportunity to work his way up in rank, to learn what it was to simply start out as a grunt in life—no special treatment, no respect received without earning it. He’d never really ever be able to determine the exact moment he began to enjoy it too much; the moment he no longer did it unselfishly but because loosening his leash gave him pleasure. Anyone who tasted the end of his bayonet or felt the discharge of his Beretta deserved the justice he’d doled out, but his darker inclinations—the ones that told him hunting was in his nature, that
killing
was in his nature—perturbed him. Perhaps it was that he never wanted to carry the reputation his father had before settling down, or maybe it was the fear that those darker inclinations would rise once more and he wouldn’t be in control, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.
Coming home had been his best choice, the most viable option. But he was aware of the way others saw him. He knew Naresh and Basanti were the only ones who didn’t avoid him because they didn’t see a killer—they saw a brother, a cousin, a leader. They didn’t look at him as though he could snap at any moment.
Neither had Kam or Cal…
“What is
wrong
with me?”
“Well, my theory is,” a soft voice stated from just to the right of Kaisal, scaring the fuck out of him, “you were dropped as a child. Several times.”
“Baz,” he quietly said, resisting the urge to scream like a startled babe. “How many times have we discussed your making actual
noise
when you enter the presence of someone else?”
His cousin rolled her small shoulders casually, and Kaisal would swear that someone somewhere was rocking in a corner, whimpering at the memory of their encounter with her. To say she was horrifying was an accurate description. She growled at just about anything, small children often screamed in her presence, and there wasn’t a precise description for the color of her eyes, but she was family. Family that scared the general populace and somehow managed to move like a kitten walking across feathers, but family nonetheless.
Kaisal’s parents had adopted Basanti as a cub when her own were killed in a fatal crash, leaving her in a pride where no one wanted to assume responsibility for another child. Her father had been Asha’s brother. Although communication was cut upon her leaving when she mated Taras, she’d still given Basanti a place in her home at the urging of her mate, who had a soft spot for the niece who’d become a daughter.
“Making noise goes against the natural instinct to silently approach my prey.”
Kaisal eyed her.
“We’ve also gone over the fact that not everything that moves in your line of sight is prey.”
Dark brows flicked upwards. “I remember no such conversation.”
“Un-hunh…”
“Why is that one strung up like a game for my amusement?” Basanti questioned, nodding toward Naresh, whom Kaisal had been mentally blocking out.
“Because your cousin is a bastard!” his brother yelled.
She pushed thick hair over one shoulder. “He seems unnecessarily angry.”
“Yeah. He does.”
“Perhaps he should do a few curl ups while there.” Her head tilted. “He’s starting to get doughy around the middle. I briefly thought about telling him the other night. Then watching him cry as he realized he’s a shell of his former self.”
Kaisal swallowed more coffee to keep from laughing as Naresh swung around, now screaming that he would declaw Basanti in her sleep. “Why do you antagonize him?”
“Because when I hurt his feelings it brings me infinite amounts of joy.”
“Ah,” he grunted. “Good reason.”
She leaned back on her elbows. “So I discovered something interesting this morning while hunting.”
“Really?” Kaisal asked distractedly.
“Yes.”
“And that was?”
“A lioness in Naresh’s cabin.”
Kaisal tensed.
“But being that she seemed so comfortable, I’m assuming she’s there by invite and so is her offspring.” His cousin stretched out her legs. “I wouldn’t be wrong in my assumption, would I?’
“No.”
“Good.”
There was silence for a few seconds.
“Is that all?” Kaisal questioned.
“Yes. I also assume that she’s the reason you’re currently pouting.
”
“I’m not pouting,” he disputed. “I’m
brooding.
There’s a distinct difference.”
“No, there isn’t,” Naresh hissed. “Because you’re dickless!”
“That’s a sexist statement, little brother. This is why you don’t know what a vagina looks like. Because you’ve no idea how to speak properly to those who own them.”
“I know what my foot in your ass looks like! Pure nirvana, fuckface!”
“If you two are done tickling one another’s tummies,” Basanti interrupted dryly, “I asked you a question.”
“No, you didn’t,” Kaisal retorted.
“Pretend I did. The same way that I pretend I don’t fantasize about twisting your brother’s tiny little head off and bouncing it around like a toy.”
“I really don’t understand the relationship the two of you have.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Obviously.”
“Now.” She sat forward. “Why is the lioness here?”
“Because she needs to be,” he answered vaguely. Going into detail would be a pointless. Kaisal wouldn’t be able to answer every question she had. He didn’t even have all the answers to his own questions as of yet. Starting with his curiosity about what had taken place between Kam and the Oriade pride. Who pushed her out and why?
“Hmm.” Basanti stood. “Does
she
need to be here or do
you
need her to be here?”
“Your verbal riddles and silent insinuations annoy me, female. Take a stick and beat Naresh. Leave me to my brooding.”
“Before you get too deep into the brooding, I should warn you that if you send me to deal with Dublhainn Monahan again, I will skin him alive, stitch him back together again, and fill him with helium so he can be used as a balloon when the mood strikes me.”
Ah. Yes. There was something happening between the pack alpha and Kaisal’s cousin that couldn’t be put into words exactly. He’d been so focused on Kam the other night that he hadn’t stopped to think about it. At some point he’d ask. Just not today.
Kaisal lifted his mug in a toast. “Consider me sufficiently warned and completely disturbed by your vivid imagery.”
She smirked but said nothing else and Kaisal once again sat backwards, his eyes on the tree line as he blocked out the sounds of Basanti doing as he’d directed and beating Naresh like a piñata.
