Beasts and Savages (The Beastly Series Book 1) (23 page)

I frowned. “How could you say that?”

Locke placed my hand back on his heart. The faint thud of his heart beat pulsed against it. “Do you feel that? Your mother valued my life. She valued the very force you’re feeling. When she let me live, she saved my life.”

“It was your life by chance. She didn’t love you. She didn’t know you. She just didn’t want to kill.” I looked into his eyes. I could now clearly see my own eyes gazing back at me.

“I can’t expect you to understand. She fought herself, her ideas, and her upbringing because my life was more important to her than her own wellbeing. At the time, she valued my life more than I did.”

I had so many questions. “How long have you known you’re- I’m?”

Locke pushed a strand of hair out of my face. “Come now, you didn’t think I wouldn’t recognize my own eyes? I suspected that I was your father from the beginning. Your eyes and face, so much like my own, and your hair: it’s hers. You smelled just like she did. The sweet smell of lavender. The picture of her in your bag confirmed what I already knew.”

“Wait! How is this possible?” The magic of the moment disappeared. Tanner stood and placed his hand on Locke's arm. “Dad, how can you be her father? You picked me, raised me from a baby. You love me. Now she’s here, a female, and you claim that you’re her father? She has a mother. You’re my father.” I could feel the jealousy in his words.

Locke turned to him and put his hands on his shoulders. “You’re right. I’m your father and I do love you. I’m not Lea's father in the way that I’m yours. I need you to try to understand. Lea's mother didn't kill me, but she still... hunted me. Lea is the.... result of that hunt. She is a mix of her mother and me. Her mother took a part of me and made her.”

Tanner crossed his arms and glared at me. “You’re right. I don’t understand. She comes here to kill me and because her mother didn’t kill you, she’s treated like some precious flower.” Heat radiated off of him with every word.

“I wasn’t going to kill you!”

Locke gave me a stern look and turned to Tanner. “Son, hunting is more than killing. Something happens before, something … more.”

For the first time, I was entirely grateful to have learned about mating and hunting sitting in a classroom full of other girls while Ms. Downing droned on. This was the worst explanation I had ever heard for mating. If I hadn't felt pity for the awkward confusion in both of their faces, I would’ve laughed out loud.

“Mating,” I sighed. “It's called mating. When the woman collects the seed from the man. It's the most crucial part of the hunt. My mother knew that she had to mate to have a daughter, but she controlled herself enough not to kill.”

Both males jerked their head to me in astonishment. I suddenly felt like the only adult in the room, talking to kids about something they should already know, but don't.

“But you control yourself. You changed from a beast to a girl and haven't changed back.” Tanner looked at me intently.

I couldn't help but giggle. “No. I change for two or three days at a time once a month. I know when it is going to happen, but I can't control it.” My smile faded. “I'm talking about controlling yourself while changed. Trying to fight the instinct, the hunger. Keeping your mind sharp while every fiber in your being wants you to satisfy that desperate longing deep in your gut.”

His green eyes broke my blank stare. There was still a hint of jealousy in his expression. “You can control it. I remember. That night, you didn't want me. You told me to run away.” Realization spread across his face and he widened his eyes. “You were running away, weren't you? That’s why you were hiding from us and going away from the fire!”

Trance-like, I couldn't pull my eyes away from his. “I didn't want to hunt. My mother told me her story. She pleaded with me to hunt without becoming a killer. She knew I was strong and could control myself better than most during my changings. All I had to do, she said, was find a way to keep my mind sharp. If I could keep control, I could mate without hurting the boy. I didn't tell her I was running away. I was too afraid that I would be weak, that I would kill if I mated. If I went back without mating, they would know. I would be carefully monitored and sent back in.” My mind flashed back to the uncomfortable examination I had to endure while in breeding class.

Tanner finally broke eye contact. “But why did you volunteer if you didn't want to hunt?”

I snorted. “We don't volunteer. We are raised and trained to be hunters. It is expected of us. Everyone who is healthy enough to hunt does so.”

“Couldn't you pretend to be sick?” Tanner sounded like a small child coming up with reasons not to eat his vegetables.

I couldn’t stop myself. I began laughing uncontrollably. The more I tried to stop, the harder I roared. My side heaved in pain. I didn't care; I continued to howl.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Tanner launched across Locke and tackled me. Both of his hand pushed my shoulders down to the bed. The force of his movement rushed the air out of my lungs, ending my laughter abruptly. Locke jumped to his feet, startled by the sudden change.

Tanner swung his leg over me and dug his bony knees into my hips. Instinctively, I put my hands around his throat and lifted my knee, ready to strike. Locke placed his hands on Tanner's shoulders and pulled him backward.

“No!” I yelled as loudly as I could. I looked at Locke, but didn't move my arms or leg. “Let me fight my own fight!”

Locke shook his head. “You’re injured and too weak to fight.”

“If I don’t fight him now, this won’t go away. It will get worse.”

Locke reluctantly removed his hands. Tanner's full weight returned to my hips and shoulders. His face was full of rage, but he didn't move. I raised my knee a little higher, refusing to back down. We continued to glare at each other.

Locke paced next to the bed. “Tanner, you can't hurt her. She's too important.”

“To you or the plan?” Tanner spoke through gritted teeth.

“To the plan. And to you. We were going to use her as a bargaining chip. But now that I know how much she knows, how valuable she is, we’re changing the plan.” Locke stopped long enough to see if Tanner would respond to him.

“I won't let her go until you tell us the plan.” It was getting harder for me to grip his neck. He could have overtaken me at any time, yet he didn't.

“It's getting cold. The council doesn't want to wage war over the winter. We will learn everything we can from her during those months. You’ll take her to the old cabin on the far side; keep her safe there until spring. War will ensue on the night of the first sacrifice of the year. She will teach us enough to be victorious.”

My head snapped to Locke. “Lock me up in a cabin? For the entire winter? With Tanner? But I'm still changing!”

Locke met my eyes with an even gaze. “I know.”

“But I'll...he'll...” Was he really going to send his son to die by his own daughter's hand?

He shook his head slightly. “You’ll do what your mother did. You already have much more restraint than she ever showed. We’ll no longer need to sacrifice our boys to survive.”

I looked back to Tanner. I needed to know if he understood what his father was saying. His face hadn't changed, but his body had relaxed. I was no longer being held down by force, just by his weight. He knew. Maybe he had known all along. His eyes flashed that unfamiliar look. My mind raced through emotions as I recognized it. It was a look of yearning, want, much like the look of hunger.

“Is that what you want?” I searched for any doubt in his reaction.  He’d made it clear that he didn’t really know what he was agreeing to. I was not quite a year older than him, yet I felt like I had lived a thousand lifetimes more.

Tanner's expression changed. He was reflecting my own question back to me; trying to get me to approve or dismiss Locke's proposal. Fear crept into my thoughts. This boy was asking me for approval. He trusted my decision, my instinct. The anger he held toward me was real, though I wasn't sure if it was because I was the reason for his father's orders or because I understood them better.

We were both trapped and Tanner looked to me for a way out. I had tried running away on my own and it had gotten me almost killed. Maybe if we helped each other, we could both escape. But first, I would have to squelch Tanner's anger and be sure I could completely trust him. I needed him alone, away from Locke's watchful eye.

I risked a slight nod to Tanner before looking at Locke. “Go to your meeting. He's not going to hurt me.” I sighed, and slid my hands away from Tanner's neck and ran them down his arms, stopping at the back of his elbows.

“As for your plan, I'm too weak to fight and by the time I gather my strength, I'll be changing again and it will be too late.” I relaxed my face and forced a smile.

Locke narrowed his eyes at Tanner. “You’re not to harm her in any way. That is a direct order, do you understand?”

Tanner lifted his hands off of my shoulders and leaned up, squaring all of his weight on to his knees, which were still jabbing my hipbones. I let out a muffled “oomph” from the movement and Tanner gave me an annoyed look before he turned to Locke with a stony face. “I’m not going to hurt her. I promise.”

Locke glanced from Tanner to me and back again. “Fine. Lea, explain mating to Tanner while I'm gone. After the gathering tonight he’s going to hear many rumors. I want him to know the truth firsthand. Tanner, when I return I will come for you. We’ll discuss the details of moving to the cabin and the plan of attack man to man.”

“I’m not explaining -”

Locke interrupted me, “You’ll do as you’re told!”

The door had barely shut behind Locke when Tanner shouted, “What the hell, Lea!”

I watched the door. When it swung back open, I grabbed Tanner's head and pulled it down, smashing my mouth to his. He tried to pull away, but I held on tightly. Locke’s footsteps echoed in the room, and Tanner froze, his eyes widened. We both waited as seconds turned into centuries. I heard Locke's soft laughter, followed by the door closing and the click of the key. Once I could no longer hear his footsteps, I let go of Tanner.

He rose and staggered to the chair. “What. Was. That?”

The irritation in his words made my nerves stand on end. I sat up and turned sideways on the bed, crossing my legs. My answer to him needed to be good. I had to explain everything going through my head, to ask him to help me form a plan of our own.

I shrugged. “We need Locke to think that we are playing his game if we want time to plan our own escape.”

The incredulous look Tanner gave me shouldn't have been a surprise. “You want me to help you escape?”

“No. Our escape. Unless you want to stay here and be helplessly hunted and mated while your father uses us and our child as pawns in their war?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “If so, I promise I’ll try not to kill you during my changings, but I make no guarantees.”