Beat of the Heart (36 page)

I laughed. “Sorry man.”

“Look, since AJ seems to be all right now, I think you two need to get out of here.”

Mia shook her head. “But I have my patients,” she protested.

“I’ll cover for you.”

“Dee, I can’t let you do that.”

He held up a hand to silence her. “This isn’t up for negation, Mimi. You’ve put this shit off for too

long. In case you missed the memo, you two have a lot to talk about, so get your asses out of here.

Now.”

Mia scowled at Dee as she headed for the doorway. I trailed behind her. In silence, we walked

down the hall to the elevators. “Even though Dee’s covering my patients, I don’t want to go far. Is the

hospital cafeteria okay?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

The elevator dinged, and we walked in. We were the only ones on board. “So, um, have you felt

okay?”

Mia made a face. “I got pretty sick around the two month mark. I’d say it was morning sickness, but

since I was sick morning, afternoon and night, it was a little more than that. I had to get on an insulin

pump full of vitamins to regulate me.”

Great, I’d not only knocked her up, but she’d had a hard time with the pregnancy. All alone.

Shifting on my feet, I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets. “Yeah, my sister, Cris, had a really

horrible time with nausea and shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s okay. I’m feeling much better now.”

“You look good,” I said.

“Thanks. The nausea made it hard for me to keep food down, so I haven’t gained a lot of weight.”

“Mia, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she asked, as we stepped off the elevator.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” As we walked into the noisy cafeteria, my hand came

to rest at the small of her back. “You’re beautiful no matter what size you are, so get it out of your

head that being pregnant and gaining weight is going to make you unattractive or undesirable to

anyone…especially me.”

She stared at me for a moment, unblinking and unmoving. Finally, she murmured, “Thank you, AJ.”

Grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket, I motioned to the cafeteria line. “You want something?”

“I can get it,” she argued.

I rolled my eyes. “Just tell me what you fucking want, Mia.”

Instead of answering me, she gave her order to the food service worker. “A grilled chicken salad

with honey mustard and a Mountain Dew.”

“Mountain Dew? Are you insane? You aren’t supposed to have caffeine,” I countered.

Mia turned to glare at me, but then her brows rose in surprise instead. I guess she didn’t think I

would be one to have a lot of baby knowledge. I’d picked up a lot of my knowledge from my sister

and Lily. “My doctor says I can have one a day. Trust me, since I’ve cut out my morning coffee, you

want me to have a little dose, or I’ll cut someone.”

I laughed. “I can totally see you doing that.”

She grinned as we edged down the line. I ordered some pie and a coffee. I followed behind her

with our tray as she picked out a table far away from everyone else. Once we sat down, we fell into a

silence as we ate. After what seemed like a small eternity of scraping silverware and chewing, Mia

glanced worriedly at me across the table. “AJ, there’s something else you need to know.”

“Jesus, Mia, after telling me you’re pregnant, how could there be anything more shocking?”

“I-I’ve been talking to Dev again.”

I slammed my cup of coffee down on the table, sending steaming hot liquid sloshing over the edge.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

She jerked her head slightly. “He came to see me the night after I got in from Jersey City.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” I demanded.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“The hell it’s not. You’re carrying my child.”

Mia’s dark eyes blazed. “Oh, are you ready to tell me about every chick you’ve banged in the four

months we’ve been apart.”

Hunkering over the table, I spat, “You wanna a great big surprise? Well, here it is. I haven’t been

with anyone since you.”

After blinking a few times, she stared at me in shock. “It’s been four months.”

I snorted. “Trust me, cariño. My dick knows exactly how long it’s been.”

Ducking her head, Mia refused to look at me. Instead, she pushed some of the salad on her plate.

“The answer is no.”

“Excuse me?”

“No, I’m not sleeping with Dev.”

Relief flooded me at her revelation. “Are you dating him? I mean, what’s the fucking deal?”

Mia remained silent as she chewed a piece of grilled chicken. “No, I’m not dating him. He wants a

second chance. Somehow he’s convinced he can work for my affection.”

“Oh yeah? And just how hard is he working?”

She pinned me with a stare. “Pretty diligently.”

“He doesn’t care that you’re carrying my kid?”

“Dev always loved and wanted children even more than I did. He says…” Mia’s gaze dropped to

her lap. “He says he’d be willing to raise him or her as his own.”

“Over my dead fucking body,” I growled.

Mia glanced up to narrow her eyes at me. “Have you really thought about this, AJ? I mean, have

you really stopped to think about what a baby means for you? You actually want to be in this for the

long haul? Midnight feedings, diaper duty, teething?”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I said, “It’s my kid. There’s no question I want—no I
will
—be in

its life.”

“This can’t be all part of some machismo act of staking claim on what’s yours.”

“Don’t insult the level of my love and feelings for this child—this flesh of my flesh.” I drew in a

deep breath before adding, “Or my feelings for you.”

“And just how in the world would the baby and I fit into your lifestyle?”

I ran my hand over my face, pausing to rub the stubble along my cheeks. “I don’t know right at the

moment, but I’d make it work—we would make it work. Hell, Bray and Lily have two kids, and they

do just fine.”

“But we barely know each other.”

I shrugged. “Then we’ll get to know each other. You can come out on tour—”

“AJ, I have a very demanding career—one I worked very hard to get. I can’t just leave it, so I can

follow you around city to city on some cramped bus.”

I couldn’t tell if she was bullshitting me with the career thing. I mean, I knew she was serious about

being a nurse, and from Frank’s testimony, she was a damn good one. A part of me understood why

she wouldn’t want to give up her life for the rootless and crazy life of a musician, especially one who

she wasn’t sure she loved. Hell, I wasn’t completely sold on how much I loved her—I mean, I thought

I did. Regardless of the baby, I knew I cared for her more than I had any girl I’d ever been in a

relationship with before. I had even gone so far as to tell Mia I loved her once—of course, I was

chained to a shower head, so I wasn’t sure how much she believed me or thought I was just playing

her to get out.

“Do you love me even a little bit?” I questioned.

“W-What?”

“You heard me.”

Mia sighed. “Don’t ask me that.”

“And why not?”

“Because I don’t have an easy answer for it,” she replied.

“For just a second, let go of the past. Focus on the two weeks we had together.” I leaned forward

on the table with my elbows. “It wasn’t just physical, Mia.”

“I know that,” she whispered.

I threw my hands up in frustration and fought not to growl at her. “Then why are you fighting so

fucking hard against me? Jesus, Mia, I’m sitting here trying to make this work.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m fighting you. After we…broke up or whatever you

want to call it, things have been so crazy.” She gave a slight shake of her head. “But you don’t know

how much I’ve missed you.”

My chest constricted, and I fought to breathe. “You have?” I choked out.

She gave me a sad smile. “Of course I have. I’ve thought of you each and every day—even before I

found out about the baby. If I’m honest with you and myself, I haven’t been as happy as I was when I

was with you in a long, long time.”

I exhaled a ragged breath. This woman was going to be the fucking death of me. I crossed my arms

over my chest. “Listen Mia, I don’t know what you want me to say or do. You have absolutely no

reason not to trust me because I never cheated on you. I told you before that I’ve never been a cheater

and never will, so you should know I would never do that to you. Trust me, I want to work things out

with you, but you’re gonna have to give a little.”

Mia remained silent for some time, twisting the napkin in her lap while chewing on her bottom lip.

“Next Thursday is the early gender sonogram. I would love for you to be there.”

“Wow, we’ll know what it is already?”

“Yes.”

My mind began furiously fast-forwarding a week. “Let’s see. We have a show in Philly on

Wednesday night.” Mia’s brows rose skeptically as if she already suspected I was going to flake out

on her. “But I’m already supposed to be back here on Friday, so I can leave for Mexico. But I can

come back a day early.”

Mia’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving the country?”

“Yeah, I’m going to my cousin’s quinceañera. Well, all my family is going actually. She’s also my

goddaughter so I wouldn’t dream of missing it. Jake and Abby are coming with me to scope out some

places for their wedding.”

“I see,” she murmured.

A thought entered my mind, and I didn’t stop to question it, I just acted on it. Reaching out, I

grabbed her hand in mine. “Come with me to Mexico.”

“AJ, be serious.”

“I’m absolutely fucking serious. The more I think about it, the more perfect it is. My parents are

going to be there, so I can introduce you to everyone—let them know I’m going to be a father. And

then we can spend time getting to know each other.”

“I can’t just up and leave for a strange country in less than a week.”

“Can’t or won’t?” I squeezed her hand in mine. “Come on, lighten up and be a little spontaneous.

It’ll be good practice for life on the road.”

“I can’t.”

“And why the hell not? I’m sure you’ve got to have vacation time stored up. You’re not too far

along to fly.” At her surprised expression, I smiled. “Between Cris, and Lily, I know just enough

about pregnancy and babies to be dangerous.”

The corners of Mia’s lips turned up, and I could tell she was fighting not to laugh. “Okay, fine, you

get to the ultrasound and that will prove you want to be a part of the baby’s life. Then, I’ll come to

Mexico with you.”

Finally, I was getting somewhere with Miss Stubborn. While that fact alone made me stoked as

hell, I was also pumped that in just one week, I was going to find out if I was going to be the father of

a son or daughter. Finding out Mia was pregnant was intense enough, but just the thought of knowing

what it would be, was even more amazing.

With a smile, I replied, “Okay then. It’s a deal.”