beats per minute (18 page)

It was amazing to have a friend she could really count on.
For, as she now confided in Jasper, she was seeing less and less of Bree these
days.

‘When I do see her, she seems so preoccupied,’ Raegan
complained. ‘I keep trying to catch up with her but she’s never in her room.
Even late at night! Who knows
what’s she
up to.’

Jasper cleared his throat. ‘I can imagine.’

Jasper had a huge crush on Bree, and he wasn’t the only one.
According to Jasper, Bree could have anyone she wanted – and she did.
Frequently.
Her complicated lovelife was legendary. Though
it was news to Raegan, she was not really surprised; it was impossible not to
notice Bree’s effect on the opposite sex.

She just wished Bree could still find time for her.

He took her cup.
‘Another brew?’

‘Thanks. I don’t know what to do,’ she said glumly. ‘And I
barely even see Sam, let alone talk to him.’

‘Ah, so that’s it.’

‘What’s what?’ Raegan bristled.

‘That’s the real reason for you being such a misery-guts.’
Jasper nudged a packet of biscuits her way. ‘Here, have a digestive.’

‘Don’t try and get round me with a cruddy old digestive,’
she said grumpily. ‘It doesn’t even have any chocolate.’

‘Garibaldi?’

‘No.’

‘Hob Nob?’

Eventually she took the packet. ‘That’s more like it,’ she conceded,
grudgingly. ‘But I’m not letting it go. What did you mean about Sam?’

‘Oh, come on, Gunner.’ Jasper had quickly turned ‘Raegan’
into ‘Ray-Gun’, then ‘Gun’ and now ‘Gunner’. ‘You fancy him.’

‘I do not!’ Two spots of rosy indignation appeared on her
cheeks. ‘I thought he was a mate, that’s all.’

‘Sure.’

She glared at him.

‘Okay! Chill out, I’m just having a laugh. So where is Sam,
then?’

‘Don’t know.’ She took a big, sulky bite of her Hob Nob. ‘He
didn’t even visit me in hospital. But then he appeared out of nowhere when I
was leaving, offered to carry my bag.’

‘And then...?’ He prompted gently.

‘Then, nothing.
He hasn’t been in
any of my classes for a week. I wonder why? Surely he has duties – I know he
isn’t a tesserarius, but-‘

‘He used to be. I wonder if that has something to do with
it.’

‘What?’ Raegan squeaked. ‘I didn’t know that! He was
tesserarius?
Of what?
Why isn’t he one now?’

Jasper shrank in his chair under the weight of her
high-pitched questioning. ‘Look, I don’t know much about it.’

‘Oh, shut it,’ she scoffed, leaning forward. ‘You were
massively keen to focus on Sam when it was me doing the talking.
Your turn now.
Spill.’

‘I just don’t want to misinform you-‘

‘
Jasper.’

‘Okay, okay!’ He pretended to fan himself. ‘You can be a bit
scary sometimes, you know that? Look, I really
don’t
know that much.
What I heard was that he was tesserarius of Heart for a while, but he had to be
demoted after some family tragedy – I think his brother died. He was really
close to whoever it was, and I guess he couldn’t take it, went off the rails or
something. They didn’t think he was stable enough to assist the teachers
anymore, forced him to take a break.’

Raegan let out a long, surprised breath. ‘Gosh.’

‘Yeah.
Brutal.’

‘Poor, poor Sam.
I wonder why they
put him with
us?
To ease him back
in, maybe?’

‘Could be.’
Jasper dunked a
garibaldi into his tea, which was nearly devoid of milk. ‘They work in
mysterious ways, those centurions.’

‘And Max Savage,’ she muttered. ‘I bet he didn’t give
a stuff
about Sam’s situation.
Probably
annoyed him that he had to give Sam time off.’

‘Max isn’t all bad, you know,’ Jasper reproached gently. ‘He
was decent, taking me on. I really needed this job – but he didn’t know me from
Adam, ‘cept I was Tristan Fettes’ son.’

Raegan didn’t think Max Savage was kind – anything but. If
he took Jasper on for no apparent reason he probably had some ulterior motive.
But she didn’t say anything. Instead, she mused, ‘It’s weird, though, Sam
missing so many classes... I hope there’s nothing else wrong with him.
Nothing new.’

‘I’m sure he’s fine.’ Jasper went over to check the
temperature of his blades. ‘Why wouldn’t he be?’

The image of Marie, never far from her thoughts, swam in
front of her eyes.  ‘No reason.’

Raegan might have downplayed her interest in the elusive
ex-Tesserarius to Jasper but she found herself thinking about him more and
more. Days of absence had now stretched into weeks. Where was he? She told
herself that she only wanted to chat about what had happened in the Labyrinth.
She still couldn’t remember much that had happened immediately before she fell
– or why she did. Sam had been monitoring the race. Perhaps he had seen
something.

This was her excuse. The truth was that she didn’t really
care if he’d seen anything.

She just wanted to see him.

She used to look forward to the moment the curfew bell
sounded and training was done for the day. Now she was leaping out of bed in
the mornings, eager to get going. Before each class she got butterflies: maybe
he would be there.

But Raegan was still surprised at just how excited she felt
tonight. She was getting ready for Heart
class,
brushing her hair a million times like always (she’d given up pretending to
herself that she did it for anyone but Sam). Yet… was that all it was? 
She looked more closely at her reflection. The sparkle in her eyes was hard to
recognise: it seemed to come from a different, older place.

And then it hit her. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing
her crush. She was looking forward to training. More than looking forward to
it: she couldn’t wait. Her abilities were now increasing too quickly to keep
track of and she loved it. She had moved from manipulating time with water to
solid objects in movement – slowing down first a vase in flight so that she
could catch it, and then a series of tiny, glass baubles – to a living creature
– a butterfly – with relative ease.

Commanding her heart to slow, waiting patiently as it did,
and then watching as the delicate creature, its wings beating frantically,
appeared to decrease in speed; the purple wings edged with gold eventually
flapping so slowly that she could pick out the silvery veins on each plane...
it was magical. Moments like this, when her body was thrumming with the
rightness
of it all, convinced her to trust. In what, she wasn’t sure. But it was
enough for now.

And a whole week had gone by without any nasty surprises.
Seven glorious days with no faulty equipment, no lost possessions,
no doors shutting on their own.
Things were looking up.

Tonight her feet flew down
the
via
principalis
to Liana’s studio. She hardly even noticed the crispness of the
dusky air. But on pushing open the door the bubbles of her happiness popped
loudly in her ears. There, lounging against the studio
wall,
was Declan.

‘Hey,’ she said flatly. ‘Haven’t you finished yet?’

‘Liana asked me to come at the same time as you tonight.’ He
didn’t even look up from his book as he replied. ‘I don’t know why.’

She didn’t bother responding, though inside she hurled a few
of her favourite four-letter words at him.
Typical.
Just as she was beginning to enjoy herself,
he
had to turn up and ruin
everything. Marching over to the opposite side of the room, she dumped her bag
on a chair. Keeping her back to him, she removed her jacket, earrings and
necklace and zipped them inside the roomy front pocket. She tried to make this
process last for as long as possible, only turning round to sit down when she
absolutely had to.

‘Having fun?’

Raegan started violently. Declan nearly fell into the wall.
Both pairs of eyes swivelled upwards.

Liana was balanced on the uppermost beam of the
high-ceilinged room. Dressed as usual in a brightly coloured boubou with
matching unitard, she was like a glorious, yellow bird. From this dizzying
height, she comprehended them calmly, regally – as if this was incredibly
normal.

Raegan’s mouth fell open.

‘Liana!
Hi.
Um.
I didn’t, uh, see you there.’

‘That was intentional.’ Her voice was serene. Raegan
wondered if she should pinch herself. This was too surreal not to be a dream.

‘I wanted to see if the rumours were true.’

‘What rumours?’ Declan asked, his voice equally hesitant.

 
‘That the two of you couldn’t even
have a civil conversation.’
Barely pausing for breath, with the agility
of a circus acrobat, Liana flipped off the beam. Despite the long distance from
floor to ceiling, she landed perfectly. Her robes settled colourfully around
her. From her position in the centre of the room, she continued to speak in the
same smooth tone. ‘This is not good enough. And I am concerned it is our
fault.’

‘Your fault?’
Raegan felt a nervous
giggle bubble in her chest.
‘No way.’

‘You may be wrong.’ Liana began to pace up and down,
covering the space between the pair in a few powerful strides. She eyeballed
them fiercely.

‘Clearly, we have been focusing hard on honing your
individual powers. And of course, we have been teaching individually – yes,
note this display of skill, how impressive it was!’ She gestured towards the
beams.

‘It was awesome,’ Declan enthused. Raegan agreed, but not
out loud. Liana was going somewhere with this, and Raegan was sure the lesson
would turn out to be something more important than ‘how to climb up the beams
and flip off like a badass’ - though she was sure this was what Declan the
dumbo was hoping. He was such a show off.

‘But how much more I could have achieved
if Yali was here, too!’
Liana cut him off quickly, eyes blazing. ‘You
would not have been able to take your eyes off us! It occurs to me that we have
not taught you the importance of teamwork.
How dangerous it
can be to separate from your peers.’
She folded her arms. ‘You two have
little idea of what the Fay can do to Regents who isolate themselves. In fact,
you have little idea of what the Fay can do, full stop. This was our mistake.’

‘I’ve seen firsthand what the Fay can do,’ Raegan said
quietly. The force of the memory sent the blood rushing to her head. Her hands
began to shake. She stuffed them in her pockets before Declan could see.

‘This is true.’ Liana inclined her head. ‘But forgive me
when I say that you were easy prey, then.’ Raegan opened her mouth to protest,
but Liana held up a hand to silence her. ‘Please, let me finish. I do not doubt
that you put up a fight, do not misunderstand me. But the manner of this
encounter... this was something else. To you, it may have appeared the biggest
challenge you could ever face. The playing field was uneven. You faced the Fay
as a novice, completely without tutelage. You were unable to truly interact.’

There was a gleam of triumph in Liana’s eyes as she regarded
the two bewildered faces staring back at her. ‘Yes: I picked that word
deliberately: to
interact
, not
fight.
 You see, the Fay
are
unusual, wild creatures – and their hunger for the hunt
might seem very peculiar.
For would you not think that those
who steal time as a matter of habit, to prolong their own existence, would
desire nothing more than an easy victory?
Not so. They are a proud race,
and consider themselves warriors. They also enjoy the thrill of battle, of
overcoming a difficult challenge. This is why certain Fay have been known to
stalk Regents for months, selecting the Regent felt to be the most skilled, and
then carefully plotting the time and place in which to pick him or her off.’

Raegan couldn’t help but sneak a look at Declan, sure that
he was rolling his eyes at this – he always thought he knew better than the
teachers. To her surprise, he was listening intently. In fact, his profile was
drawn with tension.

Liana must have noticed this, too, because she focused
sharply on him. Her eyes were serious but not unkind. ‘I’m not trying to scare
you. But it is important for you to know what it is you must face. Alone, you
cannot win. You must look outside of yourself.’

At that moment the door opened, startling the cadets. But it
was only Sam. He entered, unsmiling, with the briefest nod to Raegan. In the
cold light of the studio, Liana’s words hanging in the air, the reunion was a
bit of an anti-climax.

Sam immediately crossed the room to take up position behind
their mentor. He waited patiently. Liana did not look at him, but tilted her
head in acknowledgment.

‘Words do little. You must feel for yourself.’

Like the calm before a storm, Liana’s stillness evaporated
into a blur of movement. Out came the salt from the pouch around her waist, and
she darted in and out of them, sprinkling it in a large figure of eight.
Whirling, she pointed to Raegan, and then to one of the circles.

‘There!’

Raegan tried to move with a confidence she did not feel but
her wobbly legs gave her away. As she reached her place, she forced herself to
think of Bree, to coil her muscles into readiness, commanding them into steely
obedience as Bree had shown her. The taut energy of the room filled her with adrenaline.
That was the unpredictability of training. Though she was nervous, she became
aware of an unfurling excitement, a sense of grim relish: she was eager to
begin.

‘Drink.’
Liana was in front of her
with a silver cup; it smelled odd, like burnt sugar mixed with pungent herbs,
but not wholly unpleasant. She didn’t allow herself to question or hesitate. It
scalded her throat as she knocked it back, enveloping her with a peculiar
sensation: like a scented, tingling wind had rushed up her body.

Carefully she put her cup on the floor.  Out of the
corner of her eye, she glimpsed Sam and Declan doing the same thing.

When she stood up the world had changed.

The air shimmered. There was no other way to describe it. It
looked tangible, like
a fine
muslin wafting through
the room, shot through with silver threads and crystals. Wrapped within the
gauzy air, objects were dark, like tiny black holes; in fact, the room as a
whole was dimmer, lit only by the glowing forms of Liana, Declan, and Sam. That
wasn’t all. Trying to see more closely, making useless movements with her hands
to brush the sparkling film out of her way, Raegan peered at the other Regents.
They were surrounded by a golden halo of light; but there was also a glow
coming from inside each of their chests, pulsing balls of illumination. These
sun-like orbs were wonderful colours. Sam’s was purple, deep and rich; Liana’s
was brilliant white, and Declan’s was bright blue.

Drunkenly, she put her chin on her chest and looked down,
trying to see if she had one, too. ‘Wow,’ she breathed, dabbing at it with one
finger. Hers really was a like a sun; yellow, calm, pulsating steadily.

Liana’s voice filled her. She wasn’t sure if the sound
echoed in her ears or within her mind. Everything was a little fuzzy.

‘Sam is opposite you.’ And he was, suddenly, standing in the
other circle made by the figure of eight, the distance between them connected
by the lines of salt. ‘Focus on your heartbeat. Can you hear it?’

She nodded; at least, she thought she did. Maybe she imagined
it.

‘Now.
Can you hear
his?’

Her first instinct was to say
what?
She had never
been asked a question like that before. Hear his heartbeat? What did she mean?

‘Reach out with your senses. Power is all around you. You
can see it. You can see the power within yourself. Trust in this.’

Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden – a weirdly mundane
sensation, like sobering up to find sick down your front - she strained her
ears.
Nothing.
She wanted to cry. She didn’t know what
she was supposed to do.

Her own heartbeat, steady and sure, began to jump, slightly.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath, commanding
it to slow. It did. She didn’t know why, but it suddenly occurred to her to
think of her power like a harness, something she could throw away from herself
and hook onto something else. In her mind’s eye, she pushed out from herself,
grasping.

And at last, there it was.
A faint
thumpa
thumpa.
She strained towards it.

There! The beat was strong, loud, and a little faster
than her own
. She knew without needing confirmation that it
was Sam’s.

Liana knew, too. She always knew.

 ‘Good. Now I want you to try and hold onto his
heartbeat, and pull it toward your centre. His bpm must be matched to yours.
You are trying to subdue his will to your own, do you understand?’

She didn’t, really, but knew she had to try. Now that she
knew where the heartbeat was, it would be easier, surely.

‘But you must be fully
Awake
. You
know how to prepare. Do it. Keep his heartbeat in your sights. And keep your
eyes open at all times: this is something you need to see.’

She could see Sam preparing himself, seeming to vibrate
slightly; she could feel his heart swelling and the beat becoming stronger. She
went inside herself, and with a surge of satisfaction she was almost
immediately greeted with the little charge, the current zooming up her veins,
the sensation of a key sliding into a lock. It was muscle memory, just like
Bree had said. She was zoning more quickly than ever before.

‘Yes! The clock is now cradled in your hand, to speed or
slow as you desire. But this is not where the lesson ends, this time. Raegan!
Find his bpm. Conquer it- conquer him.’

Spurred on by her mentor, Raegan locked eyes with Sam and reached
for his heartbeat as he reached for hers. A curious feeling pinched at her, a
little tug. It was invasive and she was not prepared. She faltered.

The intrusive, unpleasant sensation continued, growing
almost painful. Then she gave a little cry; the little yellow bead inside her
had begun to move, pulled out of her chest by the advancing purple sun. Sam’s
face was tense with concentration, his heartbeat pounding in her ears. She
began to feel weaker and disorientated; what was he doing to her?