Beautiful Broken Mess (5 page)

I spring forward, clutching the top sheet to my bare breasts. “What? Jaxon? I thought you said your name was Jace?”

“Oh shit. I didn’t tell you that was my name last night, did I? The last time I pretended to be him, he kicked my ass.”

“No… not last night…” I say, still not understanding.

“Nah, you got the wrong twin, sweetheart.” He shakes his head. “Well on second thought, I guess you got the right twin. Jace is the dull one.” When he winks at me, I feel like I’m about to be sick.

Twins? Jace is an identical twin? This has to be a monumental misunderstanding. First of all, there should never be two guys who look like this set free to roam the female population. Second of all, that should be the first thing that comes out of their mouths! ‘
Hi, I’m Jace and I have an identical twin brother, so don’t accidently kiss him
.’ Anything to help us poor confused girls out.

I start to scan through memories of last night, trying to reassure myself that he’s wrong. Jace is just messing with me; he has to be. I didn’t hear anyone call him Jaxon last night, but then again, I didn’t hear anyone call him Jace either. Well this is fantastic. Just add one more point to the never-ending total on the scoreboard that is the mess of my life. I sit up and begin searching for my clothes. While pulling on my shirt and shorts, I look over to see
Jaxon
eyeing me with curiosity.

“I’m Audrey,” I stammer.

“You’re just gonna leave, Audrey?” he asks, still looking perplexed.

“Yes.”

“Most girls either want my number, breakfast, or to date me after a night together,” he says arrogantly.

“I don’t.”

I know I’m being unnecessarily harsh, but right now my stomach is on the floor and I want to leave before I get any queasier. Last night, I thought I was with the charming, authoritative guy who made my toes tingle and the hair on the back of my neck stick up. I thought I was kissing the same guy who took charge in the parking lot and who rescued me from spilled groceries.

How could I have not taken the strange feelings I had throughout the night more seriously? I remember thinking that his voice sounded off, and then there were the kisses that felt different.
Idiot, idiot, idiot, Audrey!

Jaxon sits up with a smile on his face, looking like he has an idea. “Audrey, let’s hang out today. I want to talk to you about some things.” I try to ignore him and continue for the door. “My mom makes the best French toast…” he trails off enticingly.

I can see the victory on his face when I misstep. Because seriously? French toast just
sounds
delicious, and I’ve never had a homemade breakfast before. But I can’t go back to his house where Jace obviously lives. Oh no, what if he saw me kissing Jaxon last night and that’s why I never saw him? Maybe I
should
go over to his house so I can find Jace and explain.

“Just breakfast, then I’m going home.” I give him a stern look.

“Yes ma’am,” he teases. Then he pulls out his phone and begins tapping the screen. “Let me text Jace, so he can come pick us up. I didn’t drive.” Oh, this won’t be awkward at all… When his phone beeps, signaling an incoming message, Jaxon laughs. “Damn, he’s in a bad mood. His chick…” He pauses and then looks at me. “Sorry, that’s rude. The girl he was interested in must not have shown up last night.” I try to hide my grimace at the mention of ‘the girl he
was
interested in.’

He motions for the door and we walk down the grand staircase. I cringe at the mess scattered throughout the house. There are tables dispersed in the living room, some with red plastic cups lined up in triangle formations and little plastic balls floating in the alcohol. Beer cans have been tossed in the corners and on luxurious couches. There’s even a pair of dirty socks hanging from a silver chandelier and a broken vase on the fireplace mantel. I don’t know Cole’s parents, but I can only assume they will be livid if they see this.

“Wait right here, I’ll grab Cole,” Jaxon says, as he walks down the hallway.

I make my way into the kitchen to find the trash bags. I decide to begin in here and start by tossing all of the cans, bottles, and paper plates into the bag. I have almost filled the second bag when they both walk into the kitchen. I can’t help but notice that the boys on this side of town are achingly handsome; it must be good breeding. I can understand why girls were giving me dirty looks last night for kissing Jaxon. They wanted their turn with him.

Cole grins at me, while grabbing a set of car keys from a nearby cabinet drawer and says, “Don’t worry about that, pretty girl. All of this will be taken care of later.” He shoves Jaxon on our way out the door and says, “Now
this
one is a keeper.” Jaxon looks back and gives me a playful grin.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cole drops us off in front of a beautiful, two-story farmhouse. While this house is also quite massive, it isn’t pretentious like Cole’s. It’s sophisticated yet charming, and has a beautiful wrap-around porch. This house is perfect. I could live happily on the front porch alone. In my head, I picture myself lazing around on the outdoor sectional, reading book after book all day with a glass of sweet tea. Hey, a girl can dream every once in a while.

Jaxon leads me inside the heavy, wooden front door, and before I can fully take in my surroundings, I ask for the bathroom. I need to take a second to compose myself before seeing Jace again.

JACE -

I hear Cole’s Porsche 911 pull away, and I get up to confront my brother about last night. After I left the party, I spent the remainder of the night in the barn, pounding the heavy bag my dad installed for me two summers ago. I tried to let all of my aggression loose, and was doing a good job of it until I split the leather and had to step away, somewhere around two in the morning. I’m pretty sure I can keep myself in check with Jax now.

As soon as I round the corner near the kitchen, I see a familiar set of beautiful brown eyes looking around, as if she doesn’t know which door to approach first. She’s wearing the same clothes I saw her in last night, and damn if that doesn’t make me grind my molars together in frustration.

I watch as her eyes grow wide the second she realizes it’s me standing in front of her. “Jace?” she breathes out.

“Well, I see that you
didn’t
forget who I am,” I reply. I know I sound like an asshole, but because I can’t help myself, I add, “Have fun with my brother last night?”

She frowns and rushes toward me, grabbing my biceps. “You never told me you had a twin.”

“What does that have to do with anything, Audrey?”

“Jace, I thought Jaxon was you. I didn’t realize my mistake ‘til this morning.” Her eyes fill up with tears and as they threaten to spill over, my gut clenches. She thought
I
was arguing with Mike last night, that
I
was the one kissing her while holding her legs around my waist? Shit.

Instantly, I stalk forward, backing her up against the wall and completely surrounding her with my body, not letting her escape. Lifting her chin, I look down into her eyes and seconds later, I devour her lips with mine.

She lets out a long sigh in between our lips and threads her fingers through my hair while grasping it roughly. My tongue flicks into her mouth and her tongue begins to flirt with mine. It takes me a solid minute to come back down from the high of having her mouth on mine again, and that’s when I think about why she’s here now and where she’s been all night.

“You slept with Jax?” I whisper, while firmly holding her face between my hands. She looks surprised, and when her bottom lip begins to quiver, I know what her answer is. I step away, conscious of the fact that I can’t hold her any longer, but I need to hear her reply. “Answer me,” I growl.

I shouldn’t have kissed her, because I can tell by the shock on her face she thought that I would get over that little part. Only focused on her, I just hadn’t fully comprehended it yet.

“Jace…” she whispers, “I thought I was with you.”

“Did you call out my name?” I ask tensely.

She shakes her head ‘no’ and shocks me by adding, “I didn’t call out anything.”

I step forward, lower my forehead to her shoulder, and groan. This only makes me want her more. She should have been with me. Audrey deserves for someone to make their name rip from her mouth, to drive her so absolutely insane it would be impossible for her to hold it in. What a fucking shame.

“Please…” she whispers, begging me with her glistening eyes to let this go. But all I can see now is that my brother has been here.

“The fact that he even brought you here says that you mean something to him,” I say and try to brush her off.

“No--” she interrupts, but I stop her.

“I can’t, Audrey. I can’t be where my brother has been. That’s a line I’m not willing to cross.”

I can tell the moment she fully grasps what I’m saying and then she steps away from me, spinning on her heel slowly and closing herself inside the guest bathroom.

- Three -

AUDREY -
Present day…

“Audrey, if you pick up one more damn box, I swear I’ll lock your ass in my closet until I’m done unpacking this truck!” Lane yells at me, as he’s backing the moving dolly stacked with three large boxes through our front door.

“Lane, I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own boxes,” I laugh, while darting around him. Chuck weaves in and out between the two of us, excited about his new surroundings.

“You weigh basically nothing. I’m afraid you’ll snap in half or something carrying these,” Lane says. Once I set the box down, I reach out and pinch the tiny bit of extra skin on his lower back. I’m surprised I can even grasp anything with how tight and toned he’s become. He swats my hand away and says, “Just start unpacking, I’ll unload.”

“I can help--” I insist, while trying to mess up his sandy brown hair.

He cuts me off with a ridiculous pouty lip. “Please, it’ll make me feel better.” No guy his size should have such a look. He knows that he’s won because I can’t resist his begging.

I was more than hesitant about this move, and I wouldn’t have done it for anyone other than Lane. The fact that we were both accepted into the same Masters of Accounting program doesn’t hurt either. Last year, I was shocked when
both
of our acceptance letters arrived in the mail, considering I had never even applied. Apparently, Lane took the liberty to apply for me. He told me that he didn’t plan on leaving without me, but he needed a reason for me to come along. And besides my cousin, Kennedy, Lane is my only friend so, to be honest, I would follow him anywhere.

The only thing that made me hesitant about moving up here was that I knew I’d now be on the same campus as Jace. It was hard enough living in San Diego, which isn’t too far from LA, for the past three years, but now I run the risk of actually bumping into him on a daily basis. If I see him, I know I’ll act ridiculous again and I can’t chance that. I’ve embarrassed myself enough around the Riley boys.

One year ago…

After more than two years of gabbing about Jace, Lane has finally convinced me to go and do something about it. I’m sweating bullets as he drives me two hours north to where Jace and Jaxon are attending school. I hate that he has to leave and get back to class because this could backfire in my face and I won’t have a place to stay. I realize how bold this is of me to just show up, but this is not something that can be done over the phone, and if I prepare him at all for my arrival, he’ll just shoot me down.

I see their truck parked in a garage outside the apartment building, which tells me I’m at the right place. Lane wishes me luck and drives away with all of my courage sitting safely in his front seat. As I’m making my way up the stairs, Jaxon sees me and hauls me inside his apartment, past the living room, and into his bedroom, without saying a word.
Well, this is going fantastic
.

I can see by the daggers he’s glaring at me that I’m not welcome here already. He’s still mad at me for things that he never cared to find out the truth about, and I don’t see the need to fill him in just to make him feel better. Plus, it wouldn’t make him feel better. He just wouldn’t hate me as much.

“What are you doing here, Audrey? I don’t need this shit right now. Why the hell would you fly all the way out to California? Isn’t this something you could have picked up a damn phone and called me about?”

I begin to tune him out at this point because he’s on a roll that he apparently needs to get out. He has no idea that I only live two hours away and that I sure as hell didn’t come up here to see
him
. The only good part about this little tantrum is that I can sit here and take him in.

He’s all grown up now and I can only imagine that Jace has done the same. Typically, a voice like his wouldn’t bother me, but I’ve associated
this
voice with my big mistake. It was my first hint that something was wrong, the first clue that I should have grabbed onto and shook until I discovered he wasn’t Jace. As I sit here, taking in his large shoulders and long, lean legs, I tune back in to hear him still reprimanding me. If he knew me at all, he would know that I’m an expert at blocking out harsh words. After dealing with it for eighteen and a half years, they just roll off my back now.