Beautiful Child (12 page)

‘That’s not for either of us to judge, Canon. It’s for Sean Patrick O’Brien.’   

‘Well then I’m going to have to disappoint you, Angela,’ said Brendan. ‘ I’m afraid all records of the orphanage were destroyed in a fire at diocesan headquarters in the seventies. I’m sorry.’

*

Charlie Baxter got round to Natasha’s house just before seven. He was burdened with worry about Wendy. She’d finally told him her diagnosis and the news had devastated him. This was the woman he’d fallen in love with all those years ago and who’d given him his two wonderful children. The woman he’d let down so badly. .  

‘You said you’d be here at six,’ said Natasha, flatly.

‘I had to go and see Wendy,’ said Charlie, his face barely lifting from staring at the floor. ‘I did tell you.’

‘And I told you that we needed to have an early dinner tonight because Toby and JJ are coming round for drinks later.’

‘JJ?’ he questioned, wondering what the fuck she was talking about.

‘It stands for Jennifer Jane,’ said Natasha, irritably as if she were reminding a child for the sixth time that his Grandma was about to visit. ‘I did tell you.’

‘My ex-wife has been diagnosed with cancer, for God’s sake. I think I can be forgiven for having had one or two little items on my mind that prevented me from holding information about someone called fucking JJ.’

‘Well are you sure she’s not spinning you a yarn?’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Well it just seems very convenient that she comes up with this cancer thing just after you’ve told her you’re going to renegotiate the divorce settlement.’

Charlie didn’t want to lose his temper with her but remarks like that would make it a real struggle. ‘Natasha, Wendy is one of the most honest people I’ve ever known and ever will know. You’re way off the mark with that.’

‘I’m only saying, darling boy,’ said Natasha, sensing that she may have gone too far and moving on him. She wrapped her body around his. ‘I’m only looking out for you, Charles, you know that.’

Charlie pulled her arms off him. ‘Not now, darling.’

‘Charles, I’m not having our evening dictated to by her,’ said Natasha as the scales fell from her eyes. ‘I brought the prawns all the way back from the fish market in Seattle and now they’re overcooked and ruined.’

‘Well if that’s all you’ve got on your mind then you’re a very lucky girl,’ said Charlie as he picked up his car keys and went for the door.

‘Charles! Don’t you walk out on me you bastard!’

‘I think that’s what I am doing.’

‘But what about Toby and JJ?’

‘Fuck Toby and tell whoever JJ is that she’s a pretentious bitch!’

Natasha started crying. Charlie heard her and it made him stop. She wasn’t as strong as Wendy. She wasn’t as mature as Wendy. He couldn’t leave her like this. He turned and went back and embraced her. She was his future. He had to bring her with him or else he’d be lost.

‘Go and have a shower, my darling,’ said Natasha, wiping her face with her fingers. ‘I’ll rustle up something for us to eat for when you come back down. You must be hungry.’

‘Not really, to tell you the truth.’

‘But you must eat something, darling boy,’ said Natasha. ‘ Toby and JJ like their booze and you’ll need to keep up with Toby in particular or else he might think you’re being unsociable.’

‘Natasha, I’m putting a hold on everything,’ he said. ‘The re-negotiation of my divorce settlement from Wendy and the selling of my half of the practice. It’s all going on hold. It wouldn’t feel right to go ahead with any of it just now.’

Natasha had to work hard to contain her anger. She wasn’t going to let something like her lover’s ex-wife’s cancer get in the way of what she wanted.

‘Darling, I know how awful everything is at the moment but don’t you see? This is exactly the right time to make the changes we need.’

‘You mean this is when everybody is feeling vulnerable so let’s kick them when they’re down.’

‘No of course I didn’t mean that, Charles! I’m really hurt that you could even think that.’

Charlie put his arms round her again as she began to get upset. ‘Okay, okay, I’m sorry.’

‘Whatever I do is all for us, you know? Our future happiness is all that matters to me.’

‘I know’ said Charlie who then kissed her head. ‘I’ll go and take that shower’

‘We will need to talk about it though, Charles,’ said Natasha. ‘I’m not comfortable with leaving things as they are.’

‘And there’s the boys to think of, Natasha’ said Charlie.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well they’ll have to come and live with us’ said Charlie. ‘They’re my children and I’ll be the only parent they have left.’

‘But you’ll be starting your new life with me, Charles’ said Natasha who hadn’t counted on Charles’ brats having to come and live with them. Well she wasn’t going to have it. Why should she have to take them on just because their mother’s dead? She’d see them in care before that happened. They’ve got bloody grandparents to go to for fuck’s sake. Let somebody who cares wipe their bloody noses.

‘Yes’ said Charlie, ‘and that will have to include my kids now that the circumstances have changed so dramatically. They’ll need stability and security and that means being with me, their father. Surely you understand that, darling?’

‘But what about when we have children of our own, darling boy?’

‘What about it?’

‘Well I want people to think that our children are your first.’

Charlie was in disbelief over what he was hearing. He’d always known that Natasha wasn’t the brightest but he’d got carried away with lust for such a pretty girl. And because she made him feel intellectually superior. That was important and that’s why it hadn’t worked with Wendy. 

‘Natasha, the children I’ve already got are my priority for the time being. This is an awful situation and nobody would’ve chosen it, especially not Wendy. But it’s here now and we’re going to have to deal with it in the best way we can. I need your support, Natasha. I really need you to support me on this.’

Natasha decided to play for time whilst she decided what to do. ‘Of course’ she said. ‘And I do support you, darling boy, and of course the boys too. I’m by your side, now and always, no matter what.’

Angela had been less than pleased with her meeting with Canon O’Farrell at Holy Saints church. He’d been good enough to go through the history of the church and how over two hundred children had been dispatched from it’s orphanage into the forced migration programme to Australia that the church had been in cahoots with the government over. He’d been refreshingly frank about how dirty a trade it had been and how he didn’t believe the church should ever have been involved in it. But he hadn’t been able to confirm anything about Sean Patrick O’Brien. Angela didn’t believe a word of his claim that all records relating to the orphanage had been destroyed in a fire. However much of a facade Canon O’Farrell had put up with his charm and his wit and his manner that had bordered on the flirtatious, she couldn’t help but feel that he could help her further if he wanted to.

But two days later when she sat down with Paddy she didn’t know how to break the news to him about Rita Makin. Rita had made such an impression on him when he’d been at his most vulnerable. How was he going to take the news of what had happened to her? He obviously hadn’t found out for himself yet or else he would’ve mentioned it. But still, she decided to wait until it felt like the right moment.

‘Paddy, tell me what happened after you ran away? Did they catch up with you?’

‘No, doc,’ said Paddy, ‘It’s surprising how much you can live off your wits when you’re forced into it. I had almost a year of living rough, running from town to town, not making relationships with anyone.’

‘How did you survive though, Paddy? I mean, how did you eat?’

‘When I could,’ said Paddy. ‘You’d be surprised at how much food people throw away that’s perfectly edible. Well, as long as you’re not fussed about having a table to eat off and plates and knives and forks.’

‘You can’t have been more than what, twelve, thirteen, fourteen?’

‘I was about fourteen,’ said Paddy. ‘Once I was out of the routine of the children’s home I had time to think and all the bewilderment about how my mother could’ve just left me came over me again. The pain from that was truly relentless at times.’

‘How did you deal with that?’

‘I didn’t,’ said Paddy, ‘I just did what I could to get through each day. I didn’t know where the fuck I was going. I only knew where it was I’d come from.’

‘And what followed on from this period?’

‘I was on the outskirts of Melbourne,’ Paddy recalled, ‘I was sitting in a park in some suburb or other. I hadn’t seen the news or anything for days so I didn’t know how dangerous it was for a boy of my age to be in that area on my own at that time.

1972

‘You look a bit lost, mate’ she said.

Sean didn’t answer. He was sitting on a bench in the park next to the street where all the Greek restaurants were. He’d never been to a restaurant. He’d heard of a place called Greece. And now he knew something about Greek food from all the stuff the restaurants throw away that he’d been able to salvage and eat. He didn’t know what any of it was called. But it tasted alright.

‘I’ve seen you round here a few times,’ she carried on, trying to find a way in.

Sean still didn’t say anything. He just kept staring into space and ignoring his companion. As soon as he was able he’d run. He was good at running. He’d been doing it for the last year. If she’d noticed him a few times then others were bound to have done too. It might be time to move on to be on the safe side. Last night he’d found a place in the woods to sleep but he hadn’t had a good night. All he could dream about was the face of his mother on the day she left him with the Nuns. He’d woken up in tears. He wondered what she was doing now and if she ever thought about him. He wondered why she’d sent him to Hell whilst he was still alive. 

‘Do you want a smoke, mate?’

Sean looked down at the packet of cigarettes the woman was holding. It was tempting. So was she. She was pretty with blond hair and wearing a short blue dress. She had red painted nails and a curve to her breasts.

‘Go on,’ she said encouragingly, ‘you know you want to.’

Sean took a cigarette and leaned forward to let her light it for him.

‘Thanks’ he said. Smoking had become one of his acquired skills whilst he’d been on the run.

‘Well now you’ve taken one of my ciggies, do I get to know your name?’

‘It’s… Patrick,’ said Sean. Patrick was his middle name and it was the one he’d been using on the run whenever he’d had to engage in conversation with anybody.

‘Why don’t I call you Paddy? It’s a bit more relaxed, right?’

‘Paddy’ shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to admit it but he rather liked the idea of becoming ‘Paddy’. It was like he was becoming someone else. It didn’t make any difference to him being on the run. He’d managed to find newspapers that told him he was wanted for questioning in relation to the deaths of Brother Michael and Andy Cook. No surprise there. Not long after running away from the boys’ home he’d crossed over from New South Wales into Victoria and eventually made his way all the way down to Melbourne. He felt safer in the city. People in the country were too suspicious of unfamiliar faces.

‘Well I’m Eileen,’ she said, offering one of her small hands to shake with Paddy’s.

‘Hello,’ said Paddy who’d been starved of basic human contact for so long that he didn’t know what to do, especially given his circumstances. He decided to shake her hand.

‘That’s very formal,’ she cooed, ‘and quite sweet really. So where are you from Paddy?’

‘Here and there.’

‘Secretive, eh? Good for you, my little vegemite. You don’t want all and bloody sundry knowing your bloody business. You’re fairly boyish looking but I’m guessing you’re a bit older? Just on the edge of being a man?’

Paddy didn’t know why but he laughed. ‘Yeah, I reckon.’

‘Look, Paddy, I reckon we’re likely souls, you and I. Why don’t you come back to my place, have yourself a bath, get yourself something to eat? You look like you’ve been making do for ages.’

‘Who are you?’

‘Nobody you should fear,’ said Eileen. ‘I’m not the police but I’m guessing you’re running from someone or something.’

‘How do I know if I can trust you?’

‘You don’t,’ said Eileen. ‘You just need to take the risk.’

*

‘So why did you take the risk with her, Paddy?’

‘I needed some company, doc’ said Paddy. ‘ I mean, have a fucking heart.’

‘No, I do understand, Paddy,’ said Angela.

‘Yeah, I know you do, doc’ said Paddy as he stretched out his legs under the table and folded his arms across his chest. ‘I guess you have to be a bit obvious, a bit probing to make sure I’m telling the truth.’

‘Well it’s not really like that, Paddy,’ she said, although Angela would have to admit she couldn’t have put it more succinctly than Paddy had done.

‘Are you okay today, doc?’

‘Me? Why do you ask?’

‘You seem a bit… well, tense,’ said Paddy. ‘I’m used to you being all relaxed and sort of laid back. That’s your style. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you don’t care or anything because I know that you do. I’m just giving you my impressions of how you work.’

‘Thanks, Paddy, but you’re supposed to be the patient.’

‘I know but I see it as a fair exchange.’

‘I’m grateful, Paddy,’ said Angela. ‘And once more you’ve surprised me. But I’m okay, truly. Now, tell me what happened after you went back to Eileen’s house?’

‘She turned me into a man, doc.’

‘You had a sexual relationship with her?’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Did she force you into it?’

‘Well if she did then you could say that I was willing to be forced.’

‘Did you enjoy it?’

‘Of course I did’ said Paddy. ‘What fifteen year old boy wouldn’t enjoy sleeping with an older woman who could show him what to do? The only trouble was she had a boyfriend and I didn’t realise that she was only sleeping with me so that I’d work for him.’

‘You couldn’t get out of the situation?’

‘No,’ said Paddy. ‘They found out I was the young lad they’d seen on the news who was on the run. And they used that. That’s when Hell really started.’ He threw his head back and laughed sardonically. ‘I’d thought for just one marvellous second that maybe the Gods were giving me a break when I met Eileen but I really should’ve known.’