Beautiful Child (5 page)

‘…the baby?’ said Helen. ‘The baby that she can give you and I can’t?’

Tim took hold of his wife’s hands across the table. ‘That means nothing to me, Helen. I’m not interested in what she can give me. I’m only interested in what you and I can give each other.’

‘So you’re sure about us adopting then?’

‘Of course I am. And are you sure?’

‘Yes. But she got one over on me where you’re concerned and occasionally I don’t think that grown up about it.’

‘But it’s you I love, Helen.’ said Tim, ‘Not Sara.’

Helen had never really doubted that deep down but if a woman turns up and tells a man that she had his baby five years ago but gave him up for adoption it’s bound to have an effect on him. And Helen knew her husband. She knew how sensitive he was. She also knew that his character was strong. Otherwise, how could he carry on working with Sara?

‘I know,’ said Helen, ‘I do know that and I do believe it.’

‘Good,’ said Tim ‘because it’s the truth.’

‘Do you ever think of your son out there?’

‘Now and then,’ said Tim, ‘you don’t mind?’

‘No, of course I don’t.’ said Helen. ‘You’re bound to think of him and of course I don’t mind.’

‘So you are ready to find out who we may be adopting ourselves?’

Helen and Tim had been through the adoption procedures and had passed all the tests. It was now time for them to be given a child and the social worker who was handling their case had called them in tomorrow to discuss it.

‘Oh yes’

‘It’s exciting isn’t it’

‘It is,’ said Helen ‘and you know, if your son decided to find you when he grows up, that’ll all be cool with me. You do know that?’

‘I do,’ said Tim who then lifted her hand and kissed it, ‘and thank you. But let’s see to our immediate future first and that means us becoming a family.’

Helen smiled. ‘Happy anniversary, detective.’

‘Happy anniversary, Mrs. Norris’ said Tim. ‘Now what do you fancy for dessert?’

‘Well it’s not something you’ll find on this menu.’ said Helen, smiling that way that Tim loved. ‘Let’s go home.’

*

Time swept by so fast as it always did when Matt was looking after Charlie’s boys. First of all they played some of the games on the Nintendo that Matt had bought especially for when they came to visit. Then he gave them Chilli con Carne for lunch which was one of their favourites and which he’d made the previous evening knowing that they were coming. After that he took them to see United thrash Sunderland by four goals to nil and then they headed back into Manchester city centre where he bought them a pair of shoes each after Wendy had told Charlie that they needed them. He asked them what they wanted for their tea and the answer was a unanimous ‘pasta!’ so he cooked some ravioli for them and served ice cream for dessert. He found it a joy to look after them and he didn’t care about whatever his reasons for doing it were.  

It was half past seven and he knew that Charlie wouldn’t be coming to collect them now. Any moment he’d get a call from him to ask if he’d keep them overnight. And just as he was thinking that his phone started to ring. The caller ID told him it was Charlie’s mobile.

‘Hi mate’ said Charlie.

‘So what time tomorrow?’

‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’

‘Charlie, I knew you wouldn’t be coming back this evening so they’re already in their pyjamas and watching ‘Thunderbirds’ on DVD.’

‘Put them on and let me wish them goodnight.’

After Charlie had done his fatherly duties over the phone, his youngest son Harry handed the receiver back to Matt.

‘That was short and sweet’ said Charlie.

‘They’re watching Thunderbird 4 come out of the pod that comes out of Thunderbird 2.’ Matt explained. ‘It’s a very complicated procedure and requires the absolute attention of our little International Rescuers here.’

Charlie laughed. ‘I suppose so. Look, thanks Matt, I hope I haven’t spoilt your plans for the weekend.’

Matt stood up and walked through to the kitchen with the cordless receiver in his hand. ‘No, you’re fine,’ he said, ‘but when can I expect you tomorrow?’

‘ Lunch with some more of Natasha’s friends at some posh sort of restaurant in Prestbury’ said Charlie. ‘The boys wouldn’t like it.’

‘So when will you be picking them up?’

‘About five?’ Charlie ventured.

‘So that means that for your entire access weekend the only time you’ll have seen them will be when you drove them here yesterday and when you drive them back again to Wendy’s house tomorrow’

‘Will you take them to your parents with you for lunch?’

‘You fucking know I will but that’s not the point, Charlie.’

‘I know, I know, and I’ll make it up to them, I promise.’

‘I hope you mean that,’ said Matt. ‘because they’ll drift away from you otherwise and you’ll only have yourself to blame.’

‘I don’t know what else to say, mate.’

‘No? Well look, you get on with your Cheshire set weekend. I’ve got somebody else’s children to look after.’

*

Penny was desperately upset when she came home from her parents’ house. Her younger sister Natasha had done it again. Natasha had been saying how wonderful things were going with Charles and that she expected him to pop the question any time. Penny was genuinely pleased for her and hoped that Charles did make Natasha happy. But Natasha used her good fortune as an opportunity to have a stab at Penny and told her how she couldn’t understand how Penny could’ve settled for so little in her life.

‘She said what?’ Adrian asked as they shared a coffee in the kitchen. They’d just had dinner and the kids were in the living room watching TV.

‘She said that marrying a policeman and living in a semi with three kids is hardly having arrived. Then Mum joined in.’

‘What did she say for God’s sake?’

‘That she didn’t talk about me to her friends anymore because she thought my life was so boring,’ said Penny. ‘She said she only talked about Natasha now because her life was so exciting compared to mine.’

‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this,’ said Adrian, exasperated at his in-laws insensitivity towards his wife.

‘The thing is, they throw out their nasty remarks but if I retaliate then I’m the one who’s accused of causing trouble. I can’t win with them, Adrian, and it hurts, you know, it really, really hurts.’

‘Oh, baby,’ said Adrian taking her into his arms whilst she sobbed. ‘They’ll never have what we’ve got.’

‘They wouldn’t recognise what we’ve got,’ said Penny. ‘Remember what happened when Natasha split up with Robbie? She woke up and realised she didn’t love him enough to marry him the morning after he told her that his business had failed and he had to file for bankruptcy. Did my parents give her a good talking to like they should’ve done for kicking a man when he was down? No. Did they tell her that they could see through her little gold digging act? No. But me, the one who marries for love and has three wonderful kids, I’m not worthy of being talked about by my own mother.’

‘Your parents have never been able to see through all Natasha’s crap,’ added Adrian,  ‘I really don’t know why.’

‘Because they’re like her, Adrian, especially Mum. I’m the black sheep for leading a normal, happy life without drama.’

‘It must’ve been hard when you were a kid, baby?’

‘Christmas, 1989,’ said Penny, ‘That was a hard time.’

‘You’ve never spoken about it before?’

‘I’d tried to block it all out,’ said Penny.

‘What happened?’

‘After the school Christmas party I stayed out half an hour longer than I’d been given permission to. So Mum said that because I’d been so naughty and disobedient, she was cancelling Christmas for everybody.’

‘What?’

‘She said that I had to explain to Natasha why she wouldn’t be getting any presents and to Dad as to why he wouldn’t be sitting down to his usual Christmas dinner that he liked so much. I felt like the whole world hated me that Christmas. It was horrible. And do you know what? I found out from my grandparents on my Dad’s side that they hadn’t cancelled Christmas because of me. They’d overstretched themselves financially and couldn’t afford it but instead of owning up to that they decided instead to put it all onto my shoulders and use the fact that I’d stayed out half an hour too long one night. Not Natasha who’d been suspended from school for bad behaviour and who’d admitted to having slept with half the boys in our street. Oh no, none of that was naughty enough to suspend Christmas for. But I’m late one time and I’m used to cover up their failings. And Mum could shout. She never hit me but she may as well have done with the way she shouted and bellowed at me in front of everyone all the time.’

Adrian held her tight. ‘But why did she single you out?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Penny. ‘All I do know is that our Natasha could get away with murder but I was wrong every time I took a breath. Natasha said some horrible things today, Adrian. She said that if I wasn’t her sister she wouldn’t want anything to do with me.’

‘Oh, babe.’

‘Mum never offered me one word of comfort or support and when I left the house in tears nether of them came after me to see if I was alright.’

‘I don’t know what the hell is wrong with your Mum and Dad at times.’

‘Natasha also said something else.’

‘What more could she have said?’

‘She said that I was so boring that she couldn’t work out how you’ve stayed with me and had three kids and that you’d be off shagging if you got the chance.’

‘I’ll bloody swing for her!’

‘It’s not true though, is it, Adrian?’

‘You know it’s not true,’ said Adrian, still holding her tight in his arms. ‘Penny, no other woman could ever hold a candle to you as far as I’m concerned. As for your Mum and Dad, well, I don’t know what goes on inside their heads. What I do know is that they should be proud of their eldest daughter.’

‘They never come and see the kids, do they. That’s because they don’t like me.’

‘Oh Penny, sweetheart,’ said Adrian as his wife broke her heart. ‘They couldn’t be more wrong. Natasha is jealous because we’ve got real love. That’s something she wouldn’t recognise if it leapt up and slapped her across the face.’

‘I nearly slapped her one this afternoon.’

‘You should’ve done.’

‘My parents really would’ve really hated me then.’

‘But you’d have got a lot of satisfaction out of it.’

‘Too right. It’s never even crossed my mind to slap any of our kids but my sister could turn me into a female boxing champion.’

‘Well before you do, let’s wait until the kids are all in bed and then curl up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and talk about how boring we are.’

‘It’s a date,’ said Penny, looking up into her husband’s face and smiling, ‘I am happy, you know. More than I ever could say.’

‘Me too, sweetheart’ said Adrian.

Penny snuggled up to her husband and wondered how she was going to tell him that the familiar feelings of back ache and nausea had been sweeping over her again lately.

The atmosphere among everybody who worked at the surgery was relaxed but it didn’t stop Charlie and Matt falling into the roles of good cop and bad cop with the staff when necessary.

Charlie always got away with murder because he was Charlie and everybody loved him. Any issues that came up were left to Matt to sort out. There used to be two phones on the receptionist’s desk, one for surgery calls and one for appointments, each with different numbers. When Matt witnessed one of the receptionists tell a caller off for ringing on the surgery line and then pick up the appointments phone to the same caller only seconds later, he decided that the surgery’s patients needed to be treated with a bit more respect than that, especially since many of them couldn’t afford to make multiple calls. So he cut the two numbers and now patients ring just one number for whatever they wanted. The receptionists hadn’t liked this because it had taken away some of their perceived power. Then the nurses had been in a sulk with him because he’d asked them to be more civil with the patients after some of them had complained about the nurses being rude. So it had fallen on Matt to tell everyone at the weekly staff meeting that they were going to extend evening surgery by one hour to make visiting the doctor easier for people who worked full-time.

‘It’s about their convenience, not ours.’ Matt had said. ‘We’re not here to serve ourselves, we’re here to provide healthcare in this community. I’m sorry if that doesn’t fall in with your childcare plans but things move on and develop. They don’t stay the same and this practice will not be stuck in the arrogance of thinking that we’re doing everyone we serve a favour.’

‘But you’re all doing a fantastic job,’ Charlie added, ‘we do want you to know that, don’t we Matt?’

‘Of course but this is how we’re going to make a good job even better on behalf of the patients.’

Matt couldn’t stand the mentality of people who think that everything should stand still and nothing should move with the times. Consumers of healthcare had changed, even though many of the practice’s patients didn’t have the stake in society that a job provided. But, in Matt’s mind, that didn’t mean that they were any less deserving than those who did. Even if someone doesn’t have a job they need to prepare for when they do. They need to be part of the same stream in society. That’s what Matt tried to get across to faces that looked back at him as if he was asking them to prostrate themselves before the local Bishop.

‘Thanks for your support in there,’ said Matt sarcastically as he walked into his consulting room followed by Charlie who closed the door behind him.

‘You were doing alright,’ said Charlie, encouragingly, ‘you didn’t need me.’

‘That’s not the fucking point! Why should I always have to be the one who plays the bad guy, Charlie? Why is it never you?’

‘Because you don’t need to be liked like I do?’ Charlie offered, feebly.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake!’

‘I’m just no good at that sort of thing.’

‘Charlie, you are my partner in this place.’

‘Er, that’s something we need to talk about,’ said Charlie.

‘What do you mean?’

Charlie took a deep breath. He knew Matt wasn’t going to like this.

‘I’m thinking of selling my share in the practice,’ Charlie announced.

Matt felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest. ‘Say that again.’

‘Well the thing is, Natasha has got it into her head that this is a practice with too many poor people and she doesn’t like me working here.’

Matt was livid. ‘Now I’ve heard it all!’

‘She wants me to move to a practice in a more acceptable area.’

‘Acceptable?’ Matt demanded angrily. ‘Fucking acceptable? What the fuck does that mean?’

‘She doesn’t want to have to tell people that I work in inner-city Salford,’ protested Charlie, ‘she wants to be able to tell them that I only deal with the very top people of Cheshire.’

‘And you’ve agreed to this bullshit?’

Charlie just shrugged his shoulders and smiled as best he could.

‘I always knew you were weak where women were concerned but she’s scraped the bottom of your fucking reserve tank.’

‘Hey, that’s not fair! It’s funny though, I’ll give you that.’

‘You’ve only been with one real woman in your life, Charlie’ said Matt. ‘She gave you two beautiful children and, by your own admission, a very happy marriage and yet it still wasn’t enough for you. You broke her heart because you couldn’t keep your trousers on when all the gold-digging tarts came fluttering.’

‘Have you finished?’

‘Alright, well are you seriously telling me that you’re going to piss down the drain everything we’ve worked for in this community for the sake of that airhead who wouldn’t know a principle if it leapt up and slapped her across the face?’

‘Don’t put it like that, mate,’ said Charlie, seeing all over Matt’s face how badly the news was going down. ‘I’ll give you first refusal on buying me out.’

‘Charlie, I’m the only other partner! We set it up that way, remember? So that we could do things our way without any interference from anyone else’

‘I mean before I sell to anybody else.’

Matt took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. ‘Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.’

‘Well it’s what she wants, and women like Natasha are like little girls when they’ve set their heart set on something. And guys like me end up taking over from Daddy as the one who puts the smile back on her face by giving her exactly what she wants.’

Matt scoffed. ‘And they say that women grow up faster than men?’ He shook his head. ‘Christ, I’m so glad I’m not straight and having to pander to this nonsense.’

‘That’s a point of view, mate.’

‘And all so that you can continue to gain access to your girlfriend’s front bottom.’

Charlie laughed. ‘You always blind me with your wisdom, my friend. But look, Matt, can you can afford to buy me out?’

‘Yes’ said Matt. ‘I may have to borrow some but I should be able to manage it. But that’s not the point, Charlie.’

‘I know, mate, I know, but it’s not like we’re ever going to stop being friends.’

‘Well how could we? We’re like a divorced couple with two kids to give us a reason to maintain contact.’

‘Quite,’ said Charlie, who was still feeling guilty about leaving the boys with Matt all through his weekend contact visit. He was feeling guilty about a lot of things to do with his ‘old’ life. ‘It’s just that we won’t be working together, that’s all.’

‘But I’ll miss that, Charlie,’ said Matt with more tenderness than he’d wanted to give away.

‘And I’ll miss it too,’ said Charlie, softly, ‘but life moves on, mate. Sorry, but that’s what it does.’

*

Brendan popped his head round the door of Phillip’s study and saw that he was concentrating on the blank sheet of paper in front of him on his desk.

‘Sorry, Phillip’ said Brendan. I might’ve known that if a priest is sitting alone on a Saturday night it must be because he’s working on his sermon for Sunday.’

Phillip held up the blank sheet of paper. ‘Well as you can see, Brendan, I’m finding the inspiration a little hard to nail down tonight. So any distractions are welcome. Come in.’

Brendan went in and closed the door before sitting in the armchair that was at one end of Phillip’s desk.’ What is it you’re wrestling with? I can tell there’s something by your eyes.’

‘I’ve got a married couple who are set on divorce,’ said Philip, ‘The more I try and talk to them the more intent they seem to be.’

‘Do you think that all marriages should be saved regardless of what is or isn’t going on inside them, Phillip?’

‘Should that be a question a Catholic priest should be asking?’

‘Brendan, we can level with each other, I believe, you’d be exactly like me if you were starting out today.’

‘Would I now?’ asked Brendan who was rather flattered by the young man’s affirmation.

‘You know you would be.’

‘Yes,’ said Brendan, thoughtfully, ‘I believe we’re cut from the same cloth, Phillip. And I don’t believe that marriages should be kept together if the glue isn’t there. We just make people miserable.’

‘So what does that say about my future career?’

‘Maybe you should try social work?’

‘I thought I already was.’

They laughed and then Phillip began to probe Brendan’s free spirit.

‘It must’ve been hard to come into the church at a time of such conservatism, Brendan. Especially when you’ve always been such a radical thinker.’

‘And you think it isn’t wracked with conservatism now? No, it’s been hard at times, I do confess. And I’ve nearly left on a couple of occasions. But my overriding faith in God has kept me here.’

‘What type of occasions were they?’

‘Have you ever heard of a group called the liberation theologists?’

‘Oh yes,’ said Phil, ‘the group of Latin American priests from the eighties.’

‘That’s them. Latin America was one big torture chamber back then. Every government of every country was a fascist dictatorship and the United States under Reagan thought that was okay as long as they weren’t communists. They didn’t care how much the people suffered as long as the allegiance of the nation was to Washington and not Moscow. It used to annoy the hell out of me when I heard Reagan and Thatcher go on about the free world being anywhere that wasn’t communist. They were so ideologically blind. Thousands of people simply disappeared off the streets of those countries during that awful, dark time and yet they call that freedom? Torture and repression, the rape of women, it was all part of the way those countries operated and the Vatican sucked up to every one of the administrations because they were all devoutly Catholic. It turned a blind eye because Pope John Paul II had been brought up in communist Poland and had a view of the world coloured by those experiences. But he should’ve seen beyond that and that’s when I stopped believing in papal infallibility.’

‘I’m glad there are no hidden microphones in this room,’ joked Phillip, ‘but where did the priests come in?’

‘They were a group of priests who’d administered to the poor of Latin America for decades and were tired of the injustice of never seeing people’s lives improve. They wanted the poor to be liberated from the land owners who kept them in poverty but who were in league with the dictatorships. So it brought the priests into conflict with the dictatorships who then turned to the Vatican for help. The Pope insisted that the priests stopped preaching their word of liberation for the poor and stuck instead to the official teachings of the church. Then along comes the Sandinista administration in Nicaragua and things really kicked off. They were a left wing party that took a lot from the liberation theology priests and they were democratically elected by the people. But of course, they wanted liberation from poverty for the people so Washington and the Vatican set themselves against them and made life as difficult as it could for them.’

‘And all because they wanted justice for their people.’

‘Precisely,’ said Brendan, ‘but the church isn’t interested in justice, Phillip. It just craves obedience. It was during this time that the Reagan administration recognised the Holy See as a nation state, thus giving the Vatican the same recognition status as any other nation state even though you and I both know that it’s no more the size of a park and nobody actually lives there, not even the Pope himself. But as a nation state it carries a great deal of influence and that’s what the Reagan administration wanted in it’s support of anything that wasn’t communist, whether democratically elected or not. It’s been a grave sin against the whole of mankind, Phillip.’

‘So what are we doing here?’

‘Because in our own small way we can bring a little Heaven into the lives of our flock. We can advise them as a compassionate Jesus would and not as some white-robed idiot in a dark version of Disneyland would.’

‘You’ve given me a great idea for the sermon tomorrow.’

‘Don’t get yourself into any bother now,’ Brendan advised, ‘We need to keep free thinkers like you, Phillip.’

‘Don’t worry, Brendan,’ said Phillip, ‘I’ll put a cloak around my words.’

*

Susie Schofield was sitting with her fiancé Angus having a sandwich lunch in her office at Schofield Caravan Parks headquarters. The company didn’t have a grand suite of offices and didn’t need one. They occupied half of the second floor of a two storey office block just a stone’s throw from Manchester University on the Oxford Road going south out of the city. Susie had forty staff to help her deliver the company’s objectives and got really pissed off with journalists who turned up to interview her and who only wanted to approach things from the perspective of her being a woman. Did she do anything differently from a man? How would she know? She’d never been one. She was her father’s daughter and had inherited much of his character but she ran the business her way. Some of the staff liked her and some of them didn’t, although she would say that she had more trouble from other women than from her male workforce. Some women really didn’t like working for a female boss and it disturbed her that in this day and age women could still act that way. What about the sisterhood?