Beautiful Disaster 02 Walking Disaster (8 page)

“You want breakfast?” I tucked my hands behind my head.

“I’m not hungry.”

She seemed pissed about something, but I ignored it. She probably just wasn’t a morning person. Although with that logic, she wasn’t really an afternoon or night person, either. Come
to think of it, she was kind of a cranky bitch . . . and I
liked
it.

“Well, I am. Why don’t you ride with me down the street to the café?”

“I don’t think I can handle your lack of driving skills this early in the morning.” She wiggled her bony little feet into her slippers, and then shuffled to the door.

“Where are you going?”

She was instantly annoyed. “To get dressed and go to class. Do you need an itinerary while I’m here?”

She wanted to play hardball? Okay. I’d play. I walked over to her and cupped her shoulders in my hands. Damn, her skin felt good against mine. “Are you always so temperamental, or
will that taper off once you believe I’m not just creating some elaborate scheme to get in your pants?”

“I’m
not
temperamental.”

I leaned in, whispering in her ear. “I don’t want to sleep with you, Pidge. I like you too much.”

Her body grew tense, and then I left without another word. Jumping up and down to celebrate the thrill of victory would have been a bit obvious, so I restrained myself until I was sufficiently
hidden behind the door, and then made a few celebratory air punches. Keeping her on her toes was never easy, but when it worked, I felt like I was one step closer to . . .

To what? I wasn’t exactly sure. It just felt right.

It had been a while since I’d done any grocery shopping, so breakfast wasn’t quite gourmet, but it was good enough. I scrambled eggs in a bowl, throwing in a concoction of onion,
green and red pepper, and then poured it into a skillet.

Abby walked in and sat on a stool.

“You sure you don’t want some?”

“I’m sure. Thanks, though.”

She had just rolled out of bed and was still gorgeous. It was ridiculous. I was sure that couldn’t be typical, but I wouldn’t know, either. The only girls I’d seen in the
morning were Shepley’s, and I didn’t look at any of them close enough to have an opinion.

Shepley grabbed some plates and held them in front of me. I scooped up eggs in the spatula and flopped them onto each plate. Abby watched with mild interest.

America puffed as Shepley sat the plate in front of her. “Don’t look at me like that, Shep. I’m sorry, I just don’t want to go.”

Shepley had been moping for days about America’s rejection of his invitation to the date party. I didn’t blame her. Date parties were torture. The fact that she didn’t want to
go was kinda impressive. Most girls fell all over themselves to be invited to those things.

“Baby,” Shepley whined, “the House has a date party twice a year. It’s a month away. You’ll have plenty of time to find a dress and do all that girl
stuff.”

America wasn’t going for it. I tuned them out until I realized America had agreed to go only if Abby would. If Abby went, that meant she’d go with a date. America looked to me, and I
raised an eyebrow.

Shepley didn’t hesitate. “Trav doesn’t go to the date parties. It’s something you take your girlfriend to . . . and Travis doesn’t . . . you know.”

America shrugged. “We could set her up with someone.”

I started to speak up, but Abby clearly wasn’t happy. “I can hear you, you know,” she grumbled.

America pouted. That was the face Shepley couldn’t deny.

“Please, Abby? We’ll find you a nice guy who’s funny and witty, and you know I’ll make sure he’s hot. I promise you’ll have a good time! And who knows? Maybe
you’ll hit it off.”

I frowned. America would find her a guy? For the date party. One of my frat brothers. Oh, fuck, no. The thought of her hitting it off with
anyone
made the hairs on the back of my neck
stand on end.

The pan made a clanging noise when I threw it into the sink. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t take her.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Don’t do me any favors, Travis.”

I took a step. “That’s not what I meant, Pidge. Date parties are for the guys with girlfriends, and it’s common knowledge that I don’t do the girlfriend thing. But I
won’t have to worry about you expecting an engagement ring afterward.”

America pouted again. “Pretty please, Abby?”

Abby looked like she was in pain. “Don’t look at me like that! Travis doesn’t want to go. I don’t want to go . . . we won’t be much fun.”

The more I thought about it, the more I warmed to the idea. I crossed my arms and leaned back against the sink. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to go. I think it’d be fun if
the four of us went.”

Abby recoiled when all eyes turned to her. “Why don’t we hang out here?”

I was okay with that.

America’s shoulders slumped, and Shepley leaned forward.

“Because I have to go, Abby,” Shepley said. “I’m a freshman. I have to make sure everything’s running smoothly, everyone has a beer in their hand, things like
that.”

Abby was mortified. She clearly didn’t want to go, but what scared me was that she couldn’t say no to America, and Shepley was willing to say anything for his girlfriend to go. If
Abby didn’t go with me, she could end up spending the evening—or night—with one of my frat brothers. They weren’t bad guys, but listening to the stories they’ve told,
and imagining them talking about Abby was something I couldn’t stand.

I walked across the tile and wrapped my arms around Abby’s shoulders. “C’mon Pidge. Will you go with me?”

Abby looked to America, then to Shepley. It was only a few seconds until she looked into my eyes, but it felt like a goddamn eternity.

When her eyes finally met mine, her walls came crashing down.

“Yes.” She sighed. The enthusiasm in her voice was nonexistent, but it didn’t matter. She was going with me, and that knowledge allowed me to breathe again.

America screamed like girls do, clapped her hands, and then grabbed Abby to hug her.

Shepley offered an appreciative smile to me, and then to Pigeon. “Thanks, Abby,” he said, placing his hand on her back.

I’d never seen someone less happy to go on a date with me, but then again, it wasn’t me she was unhappy about.

The girls finished getting ready and left early for their eight o’clock class. Shepley stuck around to do the dishes, happy that he’d finally gotten his way.

“Dude, thank you. I didn’t think America would go.”

“What the fuck, Chuck? You guys are trying to set Pidge up with someone?”

“No. I mean, America might have. I don’t know. What does it matter?”

“It matters.”

“It does?”

“Just don’t . . . don’t do that, okay? I don’t wanna see her making out in a dark corner with Parker Hayes.”

Shepley nodded, scrubbing the egg from the skillet. “Or anyone else.”

“So?”

“How long do you think that’s going to fly?”

I frowned. “I don’t know. As long as it can. Just don’t step on my toes.”

“Travis, do you want her or not? Doing what you can to keep her from dating someone else when you’re not even with her is kind of an asshole thing to do.”

“We’re just friends.”

Shepley shot a dubious smirk in my direction. “Friends talk about a weekend fuck. Somehow, I don’t see that happening for you two.”

“No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Shepley’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “It kinda does, bro.”

He wasn’t wrong. I just didn’t want to admit it. “There’s just . . .” I paused, glancing to see Shepley’s expression. Of all people, he would judge me the
least, but it felt weak to admit what I’d been thinking about, and how often thoughts of Abby had crossed my mind. Shepley would understand, but it didn’t make me feel any better about
saying it out loud. “There’s something about her I need. That’s all. Is it weird that I think she’s cool as hell and I don’t want to share?”

“You can’t share her if she’s not yours.”

“What do I know about dating, Shep? You. You and your twisted, obsessive, needy relationships. If she meets someone else and starts dating them, I’ll lose her.”

“So date her.”

I shook my head. “Not ready yet.”

“Why’s that? Scared?” Shepley asked, throwing the dish towel in my face. It fell to the floor, and I bent down to pick it up. The fabric twisted and pulled tight in my hands as
I wrung it back and forth.

“She’s different, Shepley. She’s good.”

“What are you waiting for?”

I shrugged. “Just one more reason, I guess.”

Shepley grimaced with disapproval, and then bent down to start the dishwasher. A mixture of mechanical and fluid sounds filled the room, and Shepley made his way to his room. “Her
birthday’s coming up, you know. Mare wants to put something together.”

“Abby’s birthday?”

“Yeah. In a little over a week.”

“Well, we gotta do something. Do you know what she likes? Does America have something in mind? I guess I better buy her something. What the fuck do I get her?”

Shepley smiled as he closed his bedroom door. “You’ll figure it out. Class starts in five. You riding in the Charger?”

“Nah. I’m going to see if I can get Abby on the back of my bike again. It’s the closest I can get to the inside of her thighs.”

Shepley laughed, and then shut the door behind him.

I headed to my bedroom, and slipped on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Wallet, phone, keys. I couldn’t imagine being a girl. The bullshit routine they had to go through just to get out the
door consumed half of their lives.

Class took for fucking ever, and then I rushed across campus to Morgan Hall. Abby was standing at the front entrance with some guy, and my blood instantly boiled. A few seconds later, I
recognized Finch and sighed with relief. She was waiting for him to finish his cigarette, and laughing at whatever he was saying. Finch was waving his arms around, obviously in the middle of a
grand story, the only pauses he took were to take drags of his cigarette.

When I approached, Finch winked at Abby. I took that as a good sign. “Hey, Travis,” he sang.

“Finch.” I nodded, quickly turning my attention to Abby. “I’m headed home, Pidge. You need a ride?”

“I was just going in,” she said, grinning up at me.

My stomach sank, and I spoke before thinking. “You’re not staying with me tonight?”

“No, I am. I just had to grab a few things that I forgot.”

“Like what?”

“Well, my razor for one. What do you care?”

Damn, I liked her. “It’s about time you shaved your legs. They’ve been tearing the hell outta mine.”

Finch’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

Abby frowned. “That’s how rumors get started!” She looked to Finch. “I’m sleeping in his bed
. . . just
sleeping.”

“Right,” Finch said with a smug smile.

Before I knew what happened, she was inside, tromping up the stairs to her room. I took two steps at a time to catch up with her.

“Oh, don’t be mad. I was just kidding.”

“Everyone already assumes we’re having sex. You’re making it worse.”

Apparently her having sex with me was a bad thing. If I had questions of whether she was into me like that at all, she’d just given the answer: not just no, but hell no. “Who cares
what they think?”

“I do, Travis! I do!” She pushed open the door to her dorm room, and then zoomed from one side of the room to the other, opening and shutting drawers, and shoving things into a bag.
I was suddenly drowning in an intense feeling of loss, the kind where you either have to laugh or cry. A chuckle escaped from my throat.

Abby’s gray eyes darkened and targeted me. “It’s not funny. Do you want the whole school to think I’m one of your sluts?”

My
sluts? They weren’t mine. Hence them being sluts.

I took the bag from her hands. This wasn’t going well. To her, being associated with me, not to mention being in a relationship with me, meant sinking her reputation. Why did she still
want to be my friend if that was how she felt?

“No one thinks that. And if they do, they better hope I don’t hear about it.”

I held open the door, and she stomped through. Just as I let go and began to follow her, she stopped, forcing me to balance on the tips of my toes to keep from running into her. The door closed
behind me, shoving me forward. “Whoa!” I said, bumping into her.

She turned. “Oh my God!” At first I thought our collision had hurt her. The shocked look on her face had me worried for a second, but then she continued, “People probably think
we’re together and you’re shamelessly continuing your . . .
lifestyle
. I must look pathetic!” She paused, lost in the horror of her realization, and then shook her head.
“I don’t think I should stay with you anymore. We should just stay away from each other in general for a while.”

She took her bag from my hands, and I grabbed it back. “No one thinks we’re together, Pidge. You don’t have to quit talking to me to prove a point.” I felt a little
desperate, which was nothing less than unsettling.

She pulled on her bag. Determined, I yanked it back. After a few tugs, she growled in frustration.

“Have you ever had a girl—that’s a friend—stay with you? Have you ever given girls rides to and from school? Have you eaten lunch with them every day? No one knows what
to think about us, even when we tell them!”

I walked to the parking lot with her bag, my mind racing. “I’ll fix this, okay? I don’t want anyone thinking less of you because of me.”

Abby was always a mystery, but the grieved look in her eyes took me by surprise. It was disturbing to the point where I wanted to make anything that didn’t make her smile go away. She was
fidgeting, and clearly upset. I hated it so much that it made me regret every questionable thing I’d ever done because it was just one more thing that got in the way.

That’s when the realization hit: as a couple, we weren’t going to work. No matter what I did, or how I finagled my way into her good graces, I would never be good enough for her. I
didn’t want her to end up with someone like me. I would just have to settle for whatever scraps of time I could get with her.