Beautiful Innocence (17 page)

“Hey, Sam,” I shout as I stumble inside Shooters. I probably should go somewhere else for fun, but I want him to see me, and what his silence has been doing to me. Maybe he’s right, after all. Maybe I am just a child. Maybe I don’t deserve him.

Sam eyes me up and down, tilting his head, snickering. “Ava, how you feeling tonight, honey?”

I know he can tell by the smirk on his face.

“I feel good.” I pause and twirl on the stool. “It’s my birthday, Sam,” I say as I spin around.

“Oh, well, happy birthday.” He smiles and then leans over to kiss my cheek. “What’ll be birthday girl? My treat tonight.”

It’s hard to order drinks when you’re not the best drinker, but I want to get so drunk that I forget everything tonight. I’m so sick and tired of worrying about Roger, worrying about what Josh is going to do. Eventually the jig will be up and I’ll be tossed on my ass. “I will have a beer and one of those sexy shots the girls always order.”

“Which sexy shot would that be?”

“You know, the one with the whipped cream.”

He chuckles. “You want a blow job?”

“Yes,” I smile brightly. I’ve been dying to try one since I saw a group of girls come in and order them. “I want one of those.”

He shakes his head but pours a beer, and then my pretty little shot is sitting in front of me. I go to pick it up, but the guy next to me, nudges me. Where the hell did he come from? “You’re going to drink one of those you need to do it right. Hands behind your back, pretty lady.”

I look to Sam for support, but he just rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Go ahead, girl,” the guy encourages me a little too much for my liking, but I am on a mission and willing to drink about anything right now.

I put my hands behind my back and wrap my mouth around the shot glass, tipping my head back. I let the baileys, butterscotch schnapps and whipped cream slither down my throat like it’s warm velvet.

He grins in approval, sliding his stool closer. “Can I buy you another?”

“Sure,” I slap my hand on the bar. “Why the hell not.”

Sam comes over and shakes the guy off when he yells out for another round, forcing him to walk away unhappy.

“Hey, I was talking to him, not to mention he was buying my alcohol for me.”

I chug most of my beer back, feeling pretty good about now, and order another.

“Like I said, drinks are on me. You realize you’re drunk, right?” he looks around the bar and then swings his focus back on me. “Wait! Where’s Josh tonight? Does he know what you’re doing? Why isn’t he here with you? Are you meeting him here or something?”

I do not have the energy or desire for this talk, so I cut it short and sweet. “No clue. He’s mad at me.”

He assesses me for a second. “Why?” He places a fresh beer down and I pick it up and take a nice long chug, trying to avoid answering, but he pulls the glass out of my grip.

“Because I lied to him about something, okay. He told me he had feelings for me and then he walked away, Sam. Who does that?” I guess I am having this talk after all.

He leans over with his face is so close I can feel his breath and see the apprehension on his face. “What did you lie about, Ava?”

“My birthday.”

He stands up and crosses his arms and glares at me. I can tell he’s having a little argument in his head trying to put the pieces together.

“Not you, too,” I mumble and grab my beer.

He pulls my beer away and moves it out my reach, grabbing my wrist. “Why would he be mad about that?”

“I may have told him teensy lie, but in my defense I needed him to sleep with me and I never thought we’d fall in love. I should have told him. I planned on it, but one thing led to another and then…Ugh!”

Sam watches me suspiciously. “Ava, how old are you?”

I drop my head onto the bar and mumble, “Twenty.”

I hear the sharp intake as I finally let out the truth. “Ava, fuck, are you kidding me?”

I peek up, barely. “No,” I admit. “Do you hate me, too?”

He sighs and tips my chin back and looks into my eyes. I can see he’s trying to be a little more understanding. “Of course not. But, honey, your Aunt can get into a lot of trouble with me serving you and I can get fired. This isn’t cool, Ava.”

I know he’s right, I do. I will have to deal with this and everything else, but can’t a girl have fun on her birthday? “I’m sorry, Sam. I feel like all I do is apologize anymore.”

Sam walks away, taking my beer with him, and dumps it.

I sit there pouting when the man from before comes back over to me and asks me to dance. Deciding that tonight is one night I’m giving myself, I slip my hand into his. “Ava, what are you doing?” Sam shouts as we make our way to the dance floor.

It’s my birthday, and if Josh doesn’t love me enough to celebrate with me than I’ll find someone who will and have some fun on my own.

JOSH

“You watching this?” Sam’s voice comes through when I pick up the phone.

“Yeah, I’m watching.” I’m pissed, but I’m watching. Hell, I even watched her slam the Tequila at my place.

“She was already drunk before she got here. Thanks for the fucking tip about her age. I wouldn’t have served her if I had known.”

I run my hand through my hair. “Sorry,” I mutter back. I haven’t told anyone but Dane at this point. I’m still avoiding her, still heartbroken and still fucking angry enough with her that I want to wring her neck.

“What do you want me to do with her? She’s a sloppy fucking drunk and Bobby Nichols is starting to fondle her ass as we speak.” I see that, too, which means I’ll need to speak with him another time.

“Get him off of her. I’ll come get her in fifteen.”

He hangs up.

“Johnny keep an eye out until you see me reach her.”

Johnny motions for me to go, so I do, but not without worry.

As soon as I walk in I spot her. It’s not hard, considering she’s the only one on the dance floor and every guy is watching her rockin’ it out. She’s got the whole place worked up from the looks of it, and quickly I see why—I know the ways her hips move. She’s in her own drunken world, her eyes closed and I’m standing ten feet away, a little shocked at the way her body is moving. Sam relaxes once he sees me from behind the bar, but I can tell he’s doing his best to keep watch. Once I reach her, I glare at every asshole in the place to put their dicks away. Most men in this town respect a man’s woman once you make claim. I made my claim a while back, so it surprises me some that Bobby Nichols made an attempt.

“Ava, let’s go,” I shout over the music, grabbing hold of her elbow.

She opens her eyes and smiles, but her expression changes to a frown. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking you home.”

“Home?” She laughs, mocking me. “I don’t have a home.”

“Ava, I swear to god, knock it off and let’s go.” I grab her by her bicep and haul her toward the front door.

“You can’t make me go, Joshua Woods. I’m mad at you,” she screeches.

“That’s rich,” I reply, but she doesn’t hear me. She plants her feet firmly on the ground and tries to look tough, which normally I’d love and find sexy as hell, but right now I just want to kick her ass. “Let’s go.”

“No,” she whispers. I’m losing any thread of control that I have right now watching her.

“All right, we’ll do it the hard way.” I bend down and grab her hips and scoop her up, tossing her over my shoulder, since I’m done with the high school shit. The whole place is looking at us as we walk out the front door, but I don’t care.

“You put me down, Joshua, now,” she shouts as she punches my ass and flails her feet. “Oh, god,” is the last thing I hear her mutter before the retched sound of her throwing up follows--all over me.

I freeze, letting her finish. Once she stops, I flip her back over and place her on the ground. “God, damn you.” I rip off my shirt and my pants, chucking them into the bed of my truck. I’m standing in the parking lot in my boxers, pissed as hell and she starts laughing. She’s fucking laughing.

“Get in the truck, Ava. Now!” She finally listens, even though it’s not a pretty sight watching as she tries to climb on in. I storm around the truck to the driver’s side, then into my seat and look over at her. “Buckle your fucking belt.” I wait until she curses a few times under her breath, but secures herself. I smell the rubber when I peel out into the street.

She tries to talk to me several times, but I am no mood for her apologies or her excuses, so I just ignore her. By the time we make it back to the apartment, she’s passed out--cold.

I place her in my bed, from habit, of course. She moans as I pull her shoes off and then begin the process of undressing her. Once she’s lying there in her undies, I take the time I haven’t in weeks to really look at her. Even drunk and passed out, she’s still my angel, and still beautiful as ever. How didn’t I see it before? How didn’t I know she was so young? Maybe that’s why every time I kiss her, or sink into her, it feels different. She makes it feel different because she is so new at it. The way she touched my face, the way her eyes shone made me feel like I can move heaven and earth for her. I lived for those emotions she brought out and made me face head on. The little looks, the impossibly soft, emotional touches that triggered my heart to feel again. And now I know why. She isn’t like the women I’m used to—she isn’t even close. She’s the first girl who is completely, one hundred percent all mine. A woman who has never been touched or kissed by another man, and I love how that makes me feel. I love that she chose me.

I jog into the kitchen to get her a glass of water in case she wakes up, but before I can return she’s standing in the doorframe with tears in her eyes and black crap running down her face.

“Hey.” I hand her the water, and she quickly downs every drop.

“I guess I really made a fool out of myself this time.”

“Nah, you didn’t. It’s your birthday, and even though I’m upset with you, you shouldn’t have to spend it alone. That’s on me, not you.”

She throws a pitiful, sad look my way and then pivots to make her way to the bathroom in the hallway. The one she’s been using since I basically kicked her out my room. I wait a beat, torn up about how I want to handle this, or if I want to even get into it tonight.

I kick the door open. She’s in her underwear and bra, brushing her teeth.

“We need to talk, Ava.”

She nods and spits the toothpaste out. I head to the living room couch instead of one of the bedrooms, knowing how that will end up and I won’t get any answers that way. She joins me about ten minutes later with her hair wet. She’s in her sweats and one of my old shirts she likes to wear to sleep. Her eyes are all puffy and red. “Sorry I took so long. I felt dirty, so I took a quick shower.”

“It’s okay.” I’ve been trying to do without her since the lie came out, but I find myself missing the way she whispers my name, the way she kisses my lips before she falls asleep. I just damned missed her.

She sits on the coffee table, facing me. “I know what you’re going to say, but I don’t want you to worry about me, okay? I’m going to Aunt Angie’s until I can save enough to get a place of my own. I know I still owe you for the clothes.”

“Ava, stop, okay? I don’t want you to pay me back for the clothes.” I reach down and pick up her hand. “I’m not throwing you out, unless you want me to. If you want to leave, just tell me and it’s done.”

She tips her head up to the ceiling before bringing it back down. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me stay. I can’t lie in the other room much longer, knowing you’re right there in the next one and I can’t be with you. It hurts.” I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me. “Josh, I’ve never been in a relationship before and it’s scaring me how much all of this guts me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I did it because I didn’t want to lose you. I see how wrong it was and I don’t blame you for hating me. I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.”

I don’t speak. I just sit there and stare into her beautiful eyes.

Her face is marred with pain and regret. “Can you please say something, anything?”

I look off to the side, breaking any eye contact knowing what her baby blues do to me.

She sniffles. “Anything, Josh. Say something?”

“Babe, come here.” I open my arms, but she drops to her knees, pressing her head against my chest, winding her arms around my waist firmly. I hold on to her like that for several minutes until I break the moment and kiss the top of her head. “This whole relationship has been scaring me. I didn’t expect to fall for you, Ava, but I did.”

“Me, either,” she mumbles into my chest. She sits back and looks up at me. “I’m so sorry I lied to you, Josh. I swear if you forgive me I’ll never do it again.”

I tuck her wet hair over her shoulder. “I’m not going to lie, it fucking killed me when I saw your birth certificate, but if I’m being honest with you and myself, I don’t ever want to feel that way again. But then I was watching you lie there the other night and I realized it would kill me more to live without you.” I take a breather and study her for a second or two. “I want you baby, I do, but this doesn’t fly with me, okay?”

She nods and I can see the caution in her eyes.

“I want to kiss you so bad. I want to pick you up and just sink inside of you and never come up for air, but you need to really mean it, Ava. One more lie and I’m done, so tell me now if there’s any more skeletons in that closet of yours? Don’t let me fall deeper if you’re hiding something else.”

She shakes her head. “I swear that’s it. I told you everything else.”

I study her intently for several long seconds, before lifting her chin so her lips are level with mine. I believe her. “Go time, babe.”

I kiss her long and make sure I take it slow, because I missed the feel of her soft lips on mine, and the sweetness of her tongue as it dances with mine gently as I graze her lips her like this will be our last kiss. We continue to engage in a heartfelt kiss as I pick her up and carry her to our room and lie down on top of her after I place her down.

“Tell me it’s okay not to wear a condom tonight, babe. I just really need to feel all of you right now.”