Beautiful Life: The Carpino Series (13 page)

*****

“Did I do something to you, man?  Do you hate me for some reason?”

My brother-in-law shakes his head no as he looks at me smiling, his body shaking with silent laughter. 

“I told you what I wanted,” I say, not finding one fucking thing funny right now. 

“Tone, this is a good dog.  He’s house trained, but still a puppy at just eight months old.  Since he’s my patient, I can vouch for his health.  He’s from a good home with little kids so he’s a family dog.  Lord knows we have enough kids for him to be around to keep him kid friendly until you have your own,” Lanny says.

“I cannot fucking believe you,” I mutter under my breath as I look out to the yard where Leigh is sitting, ass to the cold ground with a half grown puppy jumping all over her licking her face. 

Leigh. 

Making her mine last night for the first time was better than I ever imagined.  Better than it’s ever been for me without question.  Finally having her, tasting her, making her come while I’m moving inside her, I thought I knew before but I know now more than ever, I want her in my life.  Forever.  Now I just need to get her to take the next step.

After I made love to her first thing this morning, we showered together and had breakfast delivered to the cottage.  Lanny called me yesterday before the wedding saying he had a good dog that needed a home he thought I should look at, so we came straight to his house after checking out of the cottage. 

Lanny is married to my oldest sister, Sophia.  They live on a ranchette outside of town.  It’s not big enough to be considered a ranch but no one in this neighborhood owns less than three acres.  Lanny’s a veterinarian, always seems to have extra animals here and loves to train hunting dogs.  They have a small barn, not to mention the trees and woods surrounding their home are sweet.  Their house, like many in this area, is a sprawling ranch with a basement.   

“I really need to know if you want him today,” Lanny continues.  “My client has been looking for the perfect home for him.  They start packing the week after next and don’t want to put the dog through the stress of being there with the movers in the house.  They’re heartbroken they have to give him up, but he’s being transferred overseas.  They’re moving to London, livin’ in the city and won’t have a yard.  Feel it’s not fair to the dog, especially a puppy to not have that room to move and run.  Their kids are heartbroken.  I told the mom about you, she’s happy he’ll continue to be my patient with you bein’ my family.  They aren’t even asking for a rehoming fee, just the perfect home.”

“I told you I didn’t mind buying a dog,” I reiterate, for the millionth time.

Lanny sighs and turns fully to me and says, “Listen, Tone.  You never know what you’ll get with a puppy.  I should know, I’m a vet.  Plus you work long hours.  I know you told me the other day you plan on Leigh moving in with you soon, but I heard her talkin’ about a new apartment at the reception last night, I know that’s not a done deal.  If that happens,” I slice a menacing glare his way and he immediately puts up a placating hand and continues quickly, “sorry, man. 
When
that happens, she works long hours, too.  You two have no time to housetrain a puppy.  This is the perfect scenario.”

I look back out to Lanny and Sophia’s back yard from the patio where we’re watching the show Leigh, my nephews and the puppy are putting on.  I sigh and cross my arms.  Leigh takes the tennis ball, throws it again and the damn puppy runs after it in his puppy gangly klutzy way with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  Grabbing the ball, he heads straight back to Leigh, where he slams into her, rocking her back with all his puppy force sending her laughs ringing through the air.  My nephews are running circles around them playing tag and screaming. 

Leigh catches my eyes, throws me a big smile and yells, “He’s so sweet!  Come play with him!”

“Dude, look at her.  She loves him,” Lanny says from beside me.

I frown back at my brother-in-law saying, “Don’t call me ‘dude.’”

Lanny laughs at me and slaps me on the back saying, “Whatever.  Congratulations, daddy.  You got yourself a new puppy!”

I shake my head and look back to Leigh as I mutter, “A Golden-fucking-Doodle.  I hate you, Lanny.”

“How can you hate me when your woman looks like that?” he asks back. 

He should know.  He’s been married to my sister almost ten years.  They just had their third kid and he’s as whipped as he was the day Sophia brought him home to meet my parents. 

“Can we at least change his name?” I ask with my eyes still on Leigh.

“You could, but I wouldn’t recommend it.  It can take a couple months for dogs to learn a new name.  It’s not a nice thing to do to the dog if you don’t have to.”

“But, his name is Finland,” I bite out.  Looking back to him, I go on, “You got me a Golden Doodle named Finland.  I hate you and I mean it.”

“Good boy Finny!  Get the ball!” I hear Leigh yelling from the yard.

“Finny?  Fuck me, it gets worse,” I say.

“Man, don’t talk that way around my kids, your sister’ll have your balls,” Lanny says, as he starts walking out into the yard toward my nephews, my woman and my new dog that from the sounds of it, Leigh has nicknamed Finny. 

I’m not calling him Finland.  And I’m definitely not calling him Finny.

Fin will have to do.

I move my legs to my damn designer dog with his silly ass name.  His only saving grace is he’s already big and he’ll get bigger.  Shit, Jude is stuck with Gabby’s small silly ass designer dog, it could be worse. 

But I look at Leigh again, who looks nothing but happy at the moment and I can’t help but smile.  I guess I shouldn’t complain about Fin if he’s gonna move my master plan along faster. 

Leigh smiles big at me as soon as she sees me approach and asks, “Are you going to take him?”

Leigh is still sitting on the ground but now the dog is on his back with his head lying across her lap and she’s scratching his belly.  He looks like he’s in Golden Doodle Heaven, which I understand since I felt that way last night and this morning when Leigh had her hands on me. 

“Do you like him?” I ask, standing over her.

She tips her head to the side, narrowing her eyes at me telling me she’s totally on to my master plan and mutters a knowing, “Tony,” communicating way more than her just calling my name. 

I bend to squat down next to them and scratch the dog’s ears but don’t take my eyes off of her when I repeat, “Gem, do you like him?”

She lets out a puff of air as she shakes her head at me saying, “What’s not to like, Tone?  He’s perfect.”

“Then, yeah.  I’m takin’ him.”

I barely get a chance to see the perfect happy smile creep over her face before I’m tackled from the side by my six and four year old nephews. 

“Uncle Tony!” they both scream and before I know it I’m on the ground.  I hear the dog bark and jump in to join the fun. 

“That’s it,” I yell and roll to my side and before they can escape.  I grab my nephews by their waists and stand picking them both up, one under each arm.  I ask, “Who wants to go shopping for dog stuff?”

“Me!” Cayden yells.

“I do!” Noah yells louder.

“Go tell your mom.  We’ll bring you home after,” I say and set them down to run in the house.  I put a hand out for Leigh to pull her up off the ground and into my arms.  I kiss her and whisper, “After we go shopping, I’m taking you home with me.”

“But I haven’t slept in my apartment yet.”

I sigh.  Here we go again, back to two beds. 

“Fine,” I say.  “After shopping, we’ll go to your apartment.  But tomorrow, I want you in my bed.”

I lean down to kiss her and the dog starts jumping on our legs barking.  A smile spreads across my lips and I say against hers, “I told you not to get an apartment.  Fin comes home in a week, what are you gonna do then?”

I feel her slump a little in my arms and her head falls, resting her forehead on my shoulder.  She shakes her head no while saying, “I don’t know.” 

But her ‘I don’t know’ is a resigned ‘I don’t know’ which means she knows exactly what’s going to happen in a week. 

I give her a squeeze and chuckle when I say, “Come on.  Let’s go shopping.  Then we get to christen your apartment, not many more days to do that sweetheart.”  She looks up at me in a glare this time, not resigned but definitely vexed. 

“Fine,” she huffs and pulls out of my arms and starts to march away.  I lean to grab her hand, not liking her marching away from me and pull her to my side as we walk to the house to get the boys with Fin lumbering at our feet.  

I keep chuckling at her and say, “I’m glad you like my new dog, gem.”

“Don’t ‘gem’ me, Tony Carpino.  I know what you’re doing.  I cannot just move in with you.”

“You can,” I respond easily.

“Well, I won’t,” she corrects me.  I put my arm around her neck to pull her to me and kiss her temple.  I can’t help but smile because she’s cute when she’s pissed. 

She walks rigidly in my arm and I move her toward the house, “Whatever you say.  But you promised not to take yourself away from me, I’m holding you to that.  And now I have Fin.  What are we going to do without you?”  I hear her sigh her resigned sign again. 

We walk in and I yell, “Soph, is it okay if we take the boys shopping with us?”

“Twist my arm!” Sophia yells back from the kitchen.

I grin down at Leigh and say, “Come on, let’s go shopping for my new dog.”

Leigh gives me a half grin while shaking her head. 

Yep, totally resigned.  She’ll admit it soon enough.

I pull her to the door where my nephews are jumping up and down waiting for us and we all go to the pet store. 

“Hurry up with the key, sweetheart, I’m gonna drop the salsa.”

“I’m coming, sorry,” I call from behind Tony as I climb the stairs to get to the door of my new apartment where he’s waiting while balancing Mexican take-out with four bags of groceries dangling from his arm.

I’ve also got three bags of groceries, along with my dress from the wedding and overnight bag.  My overnight bag that’s getting more use than it should lately going between whatever bed Tony and I decide to sleep in.  It’s past dinner time and we’ve had a busy day. 

After meeting Finny (who honestly, is the sweetest puppy ever and even though I know what Tony is doing by getting a dog, there’s no way I can be mad at him anymore because I’m going to love Finny way, way too much to hold a grudge), we went to the pet super store and spent too much money.  Noah and Cayden came with us and Tony let them pick out whatever they thought Finny would like.  He’s going to have more toys than any puppy could ever play with.  I got into the fun as well and picked out collars, leashes, doggie shampoo and a dog bed.  The bed is too big for him now, but he’ll grow into it.  It’s chenille in the perfect color of grey with a smoky blue piping around the edges.  I’ve decided not to think about why I picked that specific bed and told Tony it was the perfect color for a boy dog.  Heck, I won’t even admit to myself why I picked that color (even though it’s because it matches Tony’s house perfectly and I’ve come to love Tony’s house way, way more than I want to think about loving his house).  Tony put himself in charge of choosing an enormous dog kennel, stating resolutely, “He’s gonna be too big.  He is
not
sleeping with us.” 

After our Finny Shopping Spree, Noah and Cayden wanted ice cream, so off we went to the ice cream shop.  Cayden, being four years old, made a hellacious mess of his waffle cone and was blue from his nose to his waist with Birthday Cake flavored ice cream.  I guess kids mature into ice cream eating somewhere between four and six years old because Noah only made a mess from his nose to his chin and was much easier to clean up.  They were hilarious, ornery but cute, and talked a mile a minute sitting across from Tony and I in the booth at the ice cream shop.  

Once Cayden was mostly mopped up (he still had blue stains all over his shirt) we took the boys home and Sophia didn’t blink an eye when she saw him.  She jabbered with me, never breaking eye contact while whipping his shirt off and tossing it toward the laundry room while holding little 5 month old Isabella on her hip who was pulling her hair the whole time.  She’s honestly the definition of a multi-tasking mom. 

We stayed to gab with Sophia and Lanny for another hour when I looked over at Tony because he had started to play with the ends of my hair where we were sitting on the sofa.  His eyes swept my face, but when he finally looked into my eyes, his were heated in a way I knew exactly what he was thinking about.  When he announced, “We need to go,” I couldn’t help but smile because by the look on his face, he was remembering last night and this morning.  There was no way I could resist the look.  Of course I agreed and off we went. 

Tony wasn’t happy when I told him I had no food at my new apartment so we had to stop by the grocery store.  His face went tight because I can promise you this, he did
not
look like he was in the mood to go grocery shopping.  I honestly have no idea what’s in my seven bags of groceries, because Tony literally drug me through the store at the speed of light. 

Once we loaded the groceries up, I mentioned I was getting hungry so Tony asked, “What are you hungry for?”

“What do you want, honey?” I ask.

“Leigh, you’re the one who said you were hungry.  What do you want?” he asks again, as he pulls out of the grocery store.

“I’m good with whatever you want,” I say.

“Leigh, answer the question,” he pushes.

“Tone, I don’t care. You pick,” I mumble into my purse, digging around for my lip gloss.

That’s when I feel him hit the brakes and make a quick turn into a deserted parking lot.  I look over to him as he stops the car and throws it into park.  Looking around, confused as to why we are parked crooked in the middle of an empty lot at a business complex, I ask, “Why did you stop?”

Tony unlatches his seat belt and turns fully to me, his left hand shooting out to catch me behind the neck pulling me close to his face. 

“Tony! What are you--” I start before he interrupts me.

“That is not us,” he states.

“What are you talking about?”

“I am not him,” he states again.

That statement shut me right the hell up and I have to pull in a breath of air.

His next words come out hushed, “You’ve come a long way, gem.  You gave me you last night and in the process told me you were happy.  You know I love you, but what you need to learn and what I’m gonna teach you is when you love someone you care what they want.  I care that your work makes you happy.  I care that you want a dog and want to give you one because you’ve never had one before.  I care that you want to sleep in your new apartment because it’s yours and that means something to you even though I’m not happy you got an apartment, so we’re sleeping there tonight.  Even though it’s a clown car, I care that you have what you want even though it makes me crazy and I wanted you in something bigger.  And gem,” he says pulling me even closer so I can feel his breath on my lips.  “When you want something to eat, I care that you have what you’re hungry for.”

Tears start to form in my eyes and I see he sees them too even though the sun has almost set and the low light from the late winter day is all we have filtering in around us.  I pull my lips in and close my eyes.  I feel the muscles in his hand tense at my neck and open my eyes to look at him.

His hushed voice continues, “Sweetheart, I am not him.  Whatever he conditioned you to do, I’ve gotta work that out of your system.  I’ll stop the car and get in your face about it every time if I have to.  But one day, you won’t have to think twice, you’ll know that I care.  I care about what you want and I want to give it to you.  I am not him.  That is not us.  That is not what we are building here.  Do you get me?”

My tears spill over and I nod my head that I get him.

“Okay, now that we’ve got that straight, you’re hungry.  All we’ve had today is breakfast and ice cream.  I want you to tell me gem, what do you have a taste for?” his almost black eyes searing into mine, communicating the importance of his question.

I pull in a trembled breath and whisper back, “Spinach enchiladas and cheesy potatoes.”

Those almost black eyes smile into mine.  His other hand comes up and his thumbs wipe my face as he holds my head in his big hands murmuring, “Then that’s what you’re gonna get.” 

He pulls me in to him and kisses me softly, lingering into a perfect kiss.  He barely pulls back and says against my lips, “Call it in, sweetheart, so I can feed you.  I’ll have the tilapia.”

I nod again, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and control my emotions.  He pulls me in for another soft kiss, lets me go, belts up and pulls out of the parking lot. 

I do my best to gather myself and google the number for my favorite Mexican restaurant.  I’m able to pull it together enough to order our dinners for take-out while Tony grabs my other hand giving me a squeeze. 

I disconnect the call and feel Tony pull my hand up to his mouth to kiss the tips of my fingers and he says to the windshield, “Love you, gem.”

I don’t have the courage to respond in any way.  But I do squeeze his hand back and he looks over at me.  All I can manage is a shaky smile and nod my head in acknowledgement.  He gives me back his smile, warm and steady, just like always.  I look back to the road and do my best to let all of what he said settle over me, scaring me all the same. 

I feel different than I used to.  I act different than I used to.  Even I think I’ve come a long way.   But I don’t even realize what I’m doing half the time because it’s become my nature out of necessity to survive during my years with Preston.  Tony calling me on it is as scary as Tony recognizing it, but Tony doesn’t miss much when it comes to me.  This should not continue to surprise me, even though it catches me by surprise every single time. 

Tony leaves me to my thoughts as he goes in to get our dinner and then drives straight to my apartment.  Recovering from my drama, I’m pulling up the rear as Tony waits while I dig for my keys to unlock the door.  I fumble with my purse, groceries and keys, reaching around him to unlock the door saying, “Go on in, honey, you’ve got the food.”

Tony pushes the door with his foot, heads in and I follow.  But I’m still trying to shuffle everything around in my arms when I run right into the back of Tony, who has stopped inside my doorway and I hear him belt out, “What the fuck?”

“Tony--?” I ask and start to step around him, but he keeps talking.

“Stop Leigh, stay where you are,” his voice, rough and demanding.  “Why in the fuck are you here and how did you get in?”

At the sound of Tony’s voice, I stop ridged and move in close to the back of him.  I peak around him at the same time I hear the familiar, but not welcoming voice, for the first time in many years spill like venom, “Well, well, well.  What do we have here?”

“Mom?” I whisper, unable to control the surprise in my own voice. 

But there’s no question.  There she is, Sheila Johnson, in all her glory.  My mother sitting on my sofa, scooched down like she’s in the middle of watching a movie and was settled in for the night.  I haven’t seen her in three years since she moved to South Dakota with the last idiot she tied herself to.  Her hair is blonde, but fake blonde and she’s about four weeks overdue of needing her roots done.  She has dark circles around her brown eyes and the lines around her mouth are deeper and more set than they were the last time I saw her.  Her face and voice show the signs of a smoker even if I didn’t know she was one my whole life.  She’s tall, my height, but I can still see her frame is thinner and bonier than her normal bony-thin frame.  She looks way older than she should for her fifty three years, her lifestyle taking a toll on her body.  Her clothes are skanky and tight as usual, not a good look for anyone, even on a more youthful skank than her. 

Once Preston and I were married, he made no bones about how he felt about my family, which is probably one of the only things we ever agreed on.  He made certain she and my sister knew they weren’t wanted in our house, just one more unpleasantry I had to deal with. 

“Always knew,” she says, strangely.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asks, not caring what she’s referring to.

“Always knew you were no better,” she elaborates.

“How did you get in here?” Tony keeps on.

But she ignores him and continues, “Always thought your shit didn’t stink.  Always acting high and mighty with all your fancy-ass friends and going to college, gettin’ yourself a hospital job.  Then you landed a rich husband, livin’ in a big ‘ole fancy house.  But you’re no better, just like I always knew.”

My heart is beating through my chest listening to her spew her words at me, words I’m used to hearing from my mother.  I glue myself to the side of Tony’s back, but I feel him move, bend at the waist on a small step forward to dump our food on the coffee table between us and my mother.  Dropping the groceries to the floor, I feel his arm and hand come to my lower hip and thigh holding me back at the same time holding me tight to him.

“I’ll ask you one more time, and you’d better start talking to me instead of Leigh.  How in the fuck did you get in here?”

“You’re new,” she says, looking Tony up and down, ignoring his question once again. 

“I don’t care that you’re Leigh’s mother.  I’m calling the police in two seconds if you don’t tell me how you got into this apartment,” Tony says.

“I’m her mother,” my mother states the obvious.  Then she smiles saccharine sweet, going on, “Her loving mama who hasn’t seen her in years and wanted to surprise her with a homecoming visit and the nice maintenance man let me in.”

I feel Tony’s body tense and I’m all of a sudden nervous for the maintenance man.

“How did you know where she lives?” Tony bites out, barely controlling his rage. 

All of a sudden, my mother starts feeling cooperative, “Well, even though I don’t know who
you
are, or the fact that my daughter is now
divorced,”
she says, slicing her eyes to me. “I went to your home.  The home you shared with who I thought was your
husband
, but now I know isn’t your husband anymore.  He was the one to tell me my daughter is now divorced and I could find you here,” she said, flipping her hands out toward the surroundings of my tiny studio apartment.  “Is this all you can afford after being married to that rich man?”

I ignore her last comment because I have to grab the back of Tony’s jacket and hold on tight to stay standing.  I thought I felt rage emanating from his body before, but nothing compared to now.  I grab on tight and pull myself to him, still holding my bag, three bags of groceries and my dress now squished between us. 

“Tony,” I whisper.

“He knows where you live,” Tony bites out, looking to the side and down to me.

“Tony--” I keep on, my voice sounding strangled.