Beautiful Monster (28 page)

             
And I guess she had to; this beautiful girl whom I loved more than anything. Amy had lost her mother and long since accepted that her own death would come sooner than others. She was in touch with both life and death; something I, in my three years as a vampire, had never been able to accept. There was a wisdom about her that was far superior to her years. Her eyes were full of understanding that I could never hope to gain.

             
“There’s another life, you know,” Amy said, through her tears. “It’s not just…human or vampire. There’s a whole other existence out there, a whole other place where there’s happiness and no pain. And that’s where she is now, Liam.”

             
“This is my fault,” I managed, unable to look at the body that lay just beyond us.

             
“It’s not,” Amy said, sitting up to meet my eyes. Her eyes were clear, despite the tears. “This is
not
your fault. You did not make the choice to do this, Liam. Your choice was to save her, and hers was to save you. It was Selene who interfered with all that, and the death is on her hands.” She was inches from my face, and this time, there was no recoiling or flinching at my appearance. I knew I must be in full vampire mode, but Amy didn’t seem to care. She was gazing upon me as if I was fully human.             

             
“Selene,” I looked up, suddenly, remembering.

             
“She ran,” Amy said. “Transformed as well. As soon as Porsche…” She reached up to wipe tears from her face.

             
“She’ll be back,” I said, shakily. “She always is. And she’ll pay, for what she did. For taking more than one life that was not hers to take. “

             
I wanted to get up, run, anywhere, do something. But I knew it was no use. Selene would be long gone by now. She was centuries old, and I had no hope of finding her if she did not want to be found.  The smartest thing to do was wait, wait until she came back, which I knew she would.

             
I crawled forward a few paces. Even in death, Porsche was beautiful. I closed her eyes and it had the effect that she was sleeping. As if my redheaded beauty would wake at any moment. But she would not; not from her eternal slumber.

             
The grief struck me hard, and had it not been for Amy’s steadying grip, I would have joined her.

             
“I love you,” I turned to Amy, whose eyes widened in shock. It wasn’t the best moment, but I had to say it. “I love you, and I have pretty much since the first day I met you. And I don’t think I can live without you, Amy, so please say you’re not going anywhere.”

             
“I already told you I’m not,” she said, softly. “I’m not. Ever. I love you too, Liam. I’m sorry I ran from you. I shouldn’t have.”

             
“No,” I shook my head. “You had every right too. This love, Amy, this love is not easy. It’s probably going to be the hardest thing in the world. And it’s dangerous. Selene knows that you know now, and she’s right, you shouldn’t. But I promise, I will do everything in my power to protect you. Because I don’t think I can do this alone, my love. I can’t be alone any longer.”

             
“You never were,” she placed a hand over mine. We sat in silence for a long moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, she spoke. “Should I call 9-1-1? I mean…I know there’s nothing…but…”

             
“Yes,” I nodded, running a hand over my face. “One of her pet peeves was theater shows getting delayed. She’d probably kill me if she knew we were sitting here right now, instead of going to accept our audience. They’ll be waiting for us.”

             
“We can’t just…leave her here,” Amy said.

             
“We can,” I took one last look at her before standing up. “Porsche’s part in this tale is done, although I will never forget her.  Call 9-1-1, Amy, and tell them we found her dead. I will not have her name buried under a murder investigation. ”

             
“They’ll know,” Amy wiped her eyes. “They’ll know something is wrong. Look at her throat.”

             
“They’ll know,” I agreed. “But the world doesn’t have to. Porsche De Ritter will remain a beautiful ballerina who slipped away.”

             
Amy nodded, already dialing the number on her cell phone.  I closed my eyes, trying to regain control of all my limbs. None of this seemed real. The underlying feeling was anger. I wanted to go mad, to find Selene and rip her apart and make sure she suffered in her last moments as Porsche did.  Had Amy not been in my life, I would have wanted to go on a rampage - hunt down the French vampire and her kind until nothing remained. And then likely, I would have thrown myself off a bridge into a watery grave.

             
But Amy made all the difference. She stood, her shoulders tensed with courage as she spoke to the 9-1-1 operator, and she looked up at me, offering me the tiniest smile. Without her, I would be nothing more than a monster. But with her in my life, her heart beat strong and fierce, I had a chance to live again.

             
“It’s done,” she said, hanging up the phone.  “They’ll be here soon.”

             
“Can you make me look presentable?” I asked her, angling my head so there was light on it. “The world should know that she’s gone. Let’s make tonight for her.”

             
“I uh…I can try,” she replied, eyeing my makeup.

             
“Wait,” I turned back to Porsche, taking a deep breath that I didn’t need to steel myself. Leaning down, I planted a kiss on her cheek, which was now cold. “Dance in heaven, princess,” I whispered, trying not to let the tears fall again. “Thank you, for everything. I’ll be alright. Amy will help me be alright. No more pain now.”

             
I closed my eyes, trying to accept the reality that lay before me. After a moment, I rose as well, taking Amy’s hand to steady myself.

             
“Let’s go give her a final curtain call,” I said, and Amy nodded.

             
Her makeup job wasn’t perfect, but between the two of us, we managed to make me look human. I felt sick inside, and craved no blood, which I supposed could only help me. Any lingering vampire appearance could be explained away by the fact that my Beast makeup hadn’t been properly removed.

             
On shaking legs, and with Amy’s help, we climbed the staircase in the lobby, taking our place on the balcony. As soon as we appeared, the audience waiting below burst into applause. Camera flashes went off, and cheers went up. I closed my eyes, taking Amy’s hand. She squeezed it tight, nodding to me with encouragement.

             
“Thank you,” I spoke into the microphone that had been carefully placed. “But your applause is not just for me tonight, but for the hundreds of people who helped make this production happen. I could not have done it alone. None of us want to do anything alone,” I swallowed, careful not to let my eyes shine with tears. Amy squeezed my hand again and I waited until the crowd was completely silent. “Without Amy…my Beauty, I could not have felt what the Beast felt on stage. Amy, from our first meeting, had a very special place in my heart, and she will continue to do so as we continue both our professional…and personal relationship next year.”

             
The crowd gasped, and Amy gasped as well. I could only offer her a smile though. I was sick of hiding from the whole world; hiding everything and keep everything a secret. I loved her, and I wanted everyone to know that. To reinforce what I said, I leaned in, kissing her gently on the lips.

             
“I do love you,” I told her, and she nodded, stunned. “And there’s no use hiding it anymore.”

             
“I love you too,” she whispered, delivering me another kiss while the crowd went wild. Finally, we broke apart and I turned back to the microphone, my job not yet done. Loving Amy was the easy part. Telling them what I had to tell them next was hard.

             
“I also…” I swallowed hard. “I also couldn’t have done this play without a very good friend of mine. Porsche De Ritter…” I almost choked on saying her name, but managed to continue. “Porsche was my first scholarship winner, although her time here was short…”

             
Amy choked at this, turning away slightly.

             
“She danced for the Russian National Ballet for 3 years as their Prima Donna, and she had quite a future ahead of her. She always found time to help out here, however, the place that gave her the start she needed…As many of you know, Porsche also suffered from AIDS, and it became harder to work as she got sicker. However she never faltered on her commitments and her dedication to helping me with this show…” I trailed off, not knowing where to go from here. I scanned the crowd, and saw students, teachers, and the media holding their breath.  “It is with great sadness that I announce Porsche’s passing, early this evening. True to form, she made sure Beauty and The Beast went on without a hitch.” I raised a glass someone handed me and the crowd did the same, in stunned silence. “So to Porsche. And to Amy.” I put an arm around her. “And to unconventional love.”

             
It was as I knocked back the champagne that I spotted her in the crowd. She had on sunglasses and her mouth was closed, and so it was enough to hide what she really was. But Selene stood there, in the center of everyone, looking up at me with a sneer.

             
“Forever,” she mouthed at me, making time stand still for just that moment. And then Amy hugged me, and Selene was gone, as if she just melted away.

             
If my heart was beating it would have been beating swiftly at that moment. As Amy hugged me, and the crowd drank to my toast, and I focused on the spot where Selene was. I realized I needed to end this, once and for all. For Porsche, for Amy, and for me.

For three weeks, life almost felt normal again. A great sadness had come over the school, but it pushed us to be better at our work, at the show, at everything. It reminded us that life was short, and we should take every opportunity we could get.

              And so we did.  My friends and I began to go out more and seeing the city as never before. We had long talks at the cafeteria tables about our hopes and dreams and how we wanted to make them a reality. While Charisma was excellent at acting, she revealed what she really wanted to do was be a director. Another girl piped up with her dreams of a screenplay, and soon, we had a full movie plotted out to be shot and filmed when I returned from my Gatsby tour.

             
We talked about love, and loss. I discovered more than one girl had lost a parent, and some had no memories of anything but single parent life. I showed them the very few surviving photographs of my mom that I had, and we shared in the grief.

             
We talked about drugs, about disease and death. It was no secret that Porsche contracted AIDS from a dirty needle, and a lifestyle choice that she should have done without. For the first time, the hard partiers in the group began to realize that there was more to life than the dark of the night.

             
And of course, we talked about Liam. Although I didn’t want to share too much, everyone wanted to know the details of our love affair. I shared what I could, the difficulty of being together despite the age and status difference. Charisma told me she had once dated a man twenty years older than her, which of course, caused the others to gasp. The attention turned away me, and as I listened, I realized how lucky I was, despite all of this tragedy. If anyone had told me what my life would be like a year ago, I would have laughed in their face. But now, I was happy. Truly happy.

             
My father, of course, took that as an opportunity to sit down and grill Liam within an inch of his life. Quite the opposite of their meeting in the fall, when it was Liam lording over both of us; I almost laughed as I watched him sit across from my father at lunch and squirm uncomfortably at questions about his intentions and his integrity.

             
“No, sir, of course I won’t keep her up late. I don’t like being up late. In fact, you’ll never see me after sunset,” Liam swore, looking my father straight in the eye across our family dinner table. “Amy’s future success and happiness is always my main concern.”

             
“And no sleepovers,” my father said, returning the look. Liam seemed to shrink in his chair, and nodded, blushing furiously.  “Good. Looks like we’ll get along then, Headmaster.”

             
“Yes,” Liam replied, although he wouldn’t look away from his food. I smiled, cutting into mine.  The fact that Liam had never had a serious relationship before didn’t really throw me off. Neither had I, although our upbringings had been very different. At first, I had been terrified of what my father might say when he found out. But now, I saw that he just had my safety in mind, and wanted to make sure Liam made me happy. Which, I assured him, he did.

Since Liam’s announcement, it seemed like the whole world knew within a matter of hours. He had assured the press that we fell in love after my acceptance to the school not before. And although those rumors still swelled, it didn’t matter. Those close to us knew the truth.