Beautifully Broken (21 page)

Gray sat up straight,
pulling me with him, “What? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“When I stopped on the
sidewalk outside of the restaurant, he was standing across the street.”

“Damn it Bennett, why the
fuck didn’t you say something?”

He began pacing back and
forth in front of my bed. What was with everyone and their damn pacing? I had
wanted to tell him, but Raylon was relentless. He wouldn’t care that Gray was a
cop now. There was a small knock on my door a few minutes into Gray’s dizzying
pacing. Hannah’s face appeared between the open slats asking for permission to
enter. I nodded my head and reached for her hand.

“Hannah, why didn’t you tell
me?” He spat.

“GRAY!” I shouted.

“It’s okay Bennett. Honestly
Gray, it was none of your business at the time. You had made it perfectly clear
that you wanted nothing to do with Bennett for so long. You gave up the right
to know anything, when you never came home to her.” I knew Hannah had been
holding this inside for far too long, so I let her continue. “You pushed her as
far away as possible. I kept you in the loop for her benefit,
not
yours.
Let’s just get that straight right now. Trust me, I
wanted
to
tell someone, anyone but I promised her on our friendship, that I would never
betray her like that again. I didn’t know about the rape, until he was gone.”
Hannah hung her head in shame. I rubbed her back comforting my best friend who
had kept secrets that no friend should ever have to keep.

“It’s not
her
fault
Gray, its
mine.
I didn’t tell anyone. How could I? I knew that
anyone who knew would look at me the way you’re looking at me now. I was
ashamed, I still am.” Hannah sat rubbing my back before I stood up and walked
towards the bathroom.

His hand wrapped gently
around my wrist pulling me to his chest. “Please tell me what happened?”

“I can’t!” I slipped through
the door and pressed it closed behind me. I heard Hannah and Gray exchange
whispers and I didn’t emerge until I heard my bedroom door snap closed. He
stood shirtless, looking into my wet gray eyes. I raked my eyes down his torso
and back up to his face. Every muscle on his body was clenched and stretched.
His bicep flexed as he reached for the hem of my sweater. I tried to pull
myself away from his grasp, but he wasn’t having it.

“Let me love you.” He
whispered right below my ear before planting a kiss, right where his breath had
touched.

“I can’t,” I repeated. I
hadn’t been touched in a loving manner since the last time him and I were
together.

“I won’t hurt you, I
promise.” His voice was pained. He slowly pulled the sweater over my head and
discarded it onto the floor, on top of his own. His hands glided around my back
to unlatch my bra. As he pulled it away from my skin, I shuttered at how
exposed I was. I instantly covered myself with my hands not wanting him to see
my imperfections that I had been hiding. “Don’t hide yourself from me Button,
let me see you.” I clung onto my skin for dear life.

I heard the intake of his
breath through his teeth as he eyed the scars. There were three of them that
covered my left breast. They were about three inches long and one inch wide. I
pulled my hand from his grasp covering them up before he could reject me.

“Don’t.” He lowered himself
onto his knees and pulled my hand away from my chest. His fingers traced the
thick memories. A stray tear fell onto his hand before I could catch it.
Flashes of that night struck me like lightening. “Tell me how it happened.” His
voice was soft and etched with concern.

“It was the first time he
ever raped me.” My voice was barely a whisper. “Hannah and I had just gotten
back from a long shopping trip. I knew he was mad when we came in but I didn’t
know, how mad. We had said we would only be gone for a couple of hours. When we
came in the door he wrapped my hair in his fist and drug me back into my room.”
I stopped to catch my breath. I didn’t know if I could go on, but with an
understanding touch from Gray to my face, I continued.

“There were scissors on my
desk. He...um...he pinned me down on the bed with his legs. I just remember
thrashing my body around trying to buck him off of me. Unfortunately, It only
made things worse. Afterwards, he grabbed the scissors and pulled them across
my skin, more than once.” I turned my face into my shoulder and winced at the
mutilating memory, not wanting him to see me. It was all too much.

I felt his fingers glide
across the scars one last time before bringing his face up to mine. “Never
again, I promise you, never again.” His lips were on mine moving slow and
gentle. His tongue slid across my bottom lip waiting for permission to enter. I
reluctantly parted them, granting him access to my mouth. Our tongues
intertwined with one another fervently.

Without breaking contact
with our mouths, his hands reached for the button my pants. His firm hands slid
them down over my hips, discarding them on the floor. I ached and yearned for
him to be inside me. He hardened the grip on my hips, pulling my legs around
his waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

We fell onto the bed and he
sat hovering above me. I blushed as his eyes raked down me, admiring every inch
of my body. When they returned to my face, a small smile tugged at the corner
of his lips before sealing them to mine again. I tugged at his hair, pulling
him deeper into me. I couldn’t get close enough. I
needed
his
touch. I
wanted
him to want me,
all
of me. We made slow and passionate love.
Gray’s touch made me feel cherished.

His body was captivating, as
I ran my fingers across his hardened abs and flexed chest. I gripped his
biceps, digging my fingernails into the soft supple exposed skin. We found our
release together. Our bodies stiffened and then melted into one another. Gray
rolled onto his side brushing back the strands of hair that had adhered
themselves to the sheen of sweat on my face. He looked content and fulfilled. I
smiled knowing it was me, who could make him feel that way.

We lay entangled in each
other’s bodies for what felt like an eternity. His adoring blue eyes never
strayed from mine, and I couldn’t help the blush that was creeping up my entire
body. This man truly loved all of my flaws and me. I brought my hand up to cup
his cheek, pressing my swollen satisfied lips to his. I pushed my body up onto
my unsteady legs. With my back to his unyielding gaze, I felt his long lean
fingers wrap around my wrist. When I turned to face him, humiliation ripped
through me as I saw the pained expression on his face. I had forgotten about
the marks on my back, and I’m guessing he just saw them in the moonlit room.

“What are those?” His voice
was barely above a whisper.

“They’re nothing,” I replied
as I ran my fingers back through his hair. “They’re in the past.” I kissed his
forehead and strode over to the bathroom. I closed the door tight and stood
half turned, looking at my back in the mirror. The striations of the marks were
consistent with that of Raylon’s brown leather belt. I shuttered remembering
that horrific night.

“When did he do that?” His
voice was tight and vengeful.

I hadn’t heard the door open
and I jumped at the sound of him speaking. He stood bare chested, leaning
against the doorframe. His muscles expanding as he crossed them over his chest.
God, why did he always have to look so good? I knew what he wanted to hear, but
I didn’t want to ruin what could be considered one of the best nights of my
life.

“Don’t worry about
him
or
these. I don’t.” I shrugged them off like they were no big deal, but deep down
the scars on my back had scared my heart. I turned to brush my teeth, the whole
reason I had gone into the bathroom in the first place.

His tall overshadowing frame
slid behind me, his eyes outlining each scar on my back. I flinched when he
brought his fingers up to trace the thinning lines. ‘I’m not going to hurt you,
Button.”

I nodded my head, knowing
that he spoke the truth. His fingers continued their original path, tracing all
twenty-four gashes. I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn’t believe how stupid
and naive I had been to fall for Raylon’s line of bullshit. The nurse at the
hospital had told me that each gash was no deeper than the tip of my pinkie
finger, but they felt as though they had reached the bone. Each varied in
length, anywhere from a couple inches to twelve inches.

“Baby, how could this have
happened?” His words cut into me, deeper than any of my scars.

“Please don’t call me that,
and it’s not like I just,
let
it happen. I’m not a masochist.” I huffed.

“Aren’t you?”

My head shot up in shock. I
was astonished that he could go from loving to hateful in less than five
minutes. “How dare you judge me! I-”

“I’m sorry, that’s not how I
meant that to come across. I just mean…. well...it seems like you felt you
deserved all of this.” His hand waved in the general direction of all my scars.
“You don’t and didn’t deserve
any
of this, you know that right?” His warm
sensual hands ran down the length of my arms, pulling my hands into his and up
to his lips. “I’m sorry Bennett, I never meant to imply that you enjoyed any of
it. I just wish I would have been here to protect you.”

His face fell and I caught
it in between my damp hands. I tilted it up so we were eye to eye, “Gray, these
are not your fault. I am responsible for letting it go on as long as I did. I
knew that I needed to walk away, but yeah, in some way, I felt as though I
did
deserve
this, for what I did to you. I got to a point where I was dying inside and it
took everything in me to even get out of bed in the mornings. I know what I
did, and trust me, I have paid for it.” I dropped his face and pushed my naked
figure past him. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie and made my way out
to the kitchen. I stopped abruptly when I almost ran straight into the
statuesque body, barricading the doorway into the kitchen.

“Hello Baby.” His voice shot
through me like a million daggers.

My hand flew up to my face,
as I slowly inched my way backwards. “What the Hell are you doing here?” My
voice was shaky, matching the tremors running through the rest of my body.

He took a step forward, “I’m
here to see you. Why else would I be here?” He was slowly closing the distance
between us when I heard a loud crashing sound coming from behind me. Gray was
rushing towards Raylon like a line backer. I barely had time to react, before Gray
had Raylon pinned to the ground, his forearm pressing against Raylon’s
windpipe.

Theo came running in from
the backyard, eyes wide as he took in the sight in front of him. “What the fuck,
are you doing here, Raylon?” Theo was trying to pull Gray off of Raylon when
Hannah came rushing in behind him.

“Holy shit!” She ran to my
side and hugged me tight, “Oh My God, Bennett are you okay? Why is he here?” I
pulled back looking bemused.

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

Hannah started leading me
down the hall to my bedroom, when his voice halted my steps. “This isn’t over
Baby. You know that just as much as I do. And now, I got exactly what I came
for.”

I shrugged out of Hannah’s
grasp and ran over to him, getting right in his face, “Listen up you piece of
shit, don’t you ever threaten me, my friends, or Gray, EVER again. Do you
fucking hear me? You are NOTHING to me, you never were. Gray is ten times the
man you could ever be. Get the fuck out of my house and out of my life.” I
turned to grab Gray’s hand, but turned with one last statement, “And, if you
EVEN try to press charges, I will have your balls!” I turned on my heel, Gray
in tow, and made my way back to my room.

Once the door closed behind
us, I fell into his arms and began sobbing uncontrollably. The tears were
never-ending and even Gray couldn’t keep the nightmarish night from invading my
dreams. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep wrapped in the arms of the one man
who would love me forever,
unconditionally.