Beautifully Broken (The Broken Series Book 2) (7 page)

My
gaze returned to the Koi as I processed Michael’s revelation. “How did you ever
get involved in all of this?”

Michael
reached for my hand. “I didn’t know who they were in the beginning. They were
just one among many clients. They only had me investing small amounts of money,
then. I am quite good at what I do. The money they sent my way kept increasing.
Eventually, they insisted that I represent only them. Shortly after I agreed,
they asked me to wash the money that I was investing. Apparently, someone else
had been washing it before it was turned over to me. By the time I learned what
I was dealing with, there was no going back. You don’t walk away from people
like that.”

My
breath caught. Michael was in precisely the same position that I was in. He was
completely unable to walk away from a life he didn’t necessarily want. No
wonder he had taken the same approach with me. He knew first hand just how
effective it could be.

Michael
squeezed my hand as he steered the conversation into an unexpected direction. “
Mon
coeur,
the man who took you to Washington… did he hurt you?”

My
mind begged me not to go there, to that place where I had nearly died seven
months ago, but memories from Justin’s abduction assaulted me in such vivid
detail that it felt as if it had only been a matter of days. My eyes slammed
shut as I tried to force the images away. I opened my eyes on a sigh and slowly
met Michael’s gaze. “Yes. Justin hurt me. I still struggle with nightmares, and...”
I shivered violently, “this kidnapping has brought back a lot of bad memories for
me.”

Michael’s
jaw clenched as his hand tightened around mine. “Did he…”

I
bowed my head, then shuttered my eyes behind the cascade of hair that had
fallen across my face… anything to avoid the fury and fear building in Michael’s
eyes. “No,” I replied in a very small voice. “Justin drugged me, hit me,
handcuffed me to the bathroom sink, then left me without food for days. He
tried to rape me, but he ended up suffocating me when he tried to muffle my
screams. I passed out, and for whatever reason that was enough to make him stop.
I escaped before he could try again. He chased me down with a shotgun, but
Kadyn and his friends found me in the woods just before Justin did. They wrestled
the gun away from him. Then my friend, Dan, knocked him out.”

Michael
ripped his hand from mine. He looked as if he’d been burned. “He nearly killed
you,
twice
?”

I
nodded as I wrapped my arms around my now roiling stomach. “Kadyn saved my
life.” I risked a glance at Michael’s face. I wondered how much Justin’s
abduction factored into Michael’s timing. He probably wasn’t expecting some
other man to kidnap me when he was planning to do the very same thing. I looked
back down at the Koi shimmering in the pond. I was terrified to ask my next
question. “Is Kadyn still alive?”

“Yes,”
Michael rasped brokenly. He shoved his omelet aside. “I know he saved your life,
Kristine. I… I am grateful for that, but… is that the reason you’re still with
him, or do you really love him?”

I
exhaled softly. “Kadyn is kind and gentle. He’s patient with me. He isn’t
manipulative or controlling, and he doesn’t force me to do anything. He has
devoted his life to making this world a safer place. How could you not love
someone like that?”

Michael’s
eyes were steeped in pain. “Why did you refuse to marry me
when I
proposed?”

I
leaned back in my chair as I quietly considered his question. “Because you
scared me, Michael.”

Michael
looked like he had been slapped. “How did I scare you? I never hurt you. I
showed you nothing but love and respect, and still you refused to marry me.”

I
tightened my arms around myself before trying to explain. “I had just gotten
out of an abusive marriage when we started dating. I was scared to begin with.
Then you came out of nowhere and proposed on the fourth date. You were so
intense… so consuming… and you moved so fast. You didn’t give me any time to
get to know you. How could I marry let alone love someone I didn’t even know?”

Michael
rose from his chair. He reached for both of my hands, then gently pulled me to
my feet. His voice broke as he spoke. “
Mon coeur
, I loved you from the first
moment I saw you.”

I
searched his eyes, then abruptly looked away. “Michael, that is not love.”

Michael
hooked his finger under my chin as he gently forced me to look at him. “You don’t
think I know my own heart?”

I
shook my head. “I don’t know your heart, Michael. That’s the problem. You never
gave me a chance to get to know you before you started pressuring me to marry
you.”

“I’ll
show you my heart,” he responded gruffly. He claimed my lips in a kiss that was
both brutal and raw.

Fear
and desire spun through me. My brain warred against my body’s response. I
wanted to slap him… I wanted to resist… but I was too confused and far too scared.
Hadn’t I decided not to resist?
My breath caught as Michael began
kissing my neck. I swayed undecidedly.

Michael
steadied me as he slowly pulled away. His eyes burned with desire as he lowered
himself to my chair. He slowly pulled me toward him. I stood completely
transfixed as he caressed my legs from ankle to thigh before pulling them over
his lap. Michael pulled me snug against his body. I closed my eyes against the
intimacy of the position. The feel of his hands slowly caressing my back left
me suspended in a dark seduction.

I
opened my eyes but remained spellbound as he took each of my fingers in his
mouth. My eyes fluttered shut as his lips captured my wrist in an erotic open-mouthed
kiss. My breathing turned ragged as he worked his way up my arm. My heart
pounded out its confusion as my body responded to the erection now pressing
between my legs.

Michael’s
lips worked their way up my arm and neck before once again claiming my lips. I
tried to hate him for everything he had done, to be repulsed by his touch and
the feel of his lips against mine, but, for some reason far outside my
comprehension, I could not.

A
searing desire pulsed through me as Michael’s greedy mouth made its way to my swollen
breasts. He nipped at the hard peaks that had formed through the thin fabric of
the dress. His hands slid up my thighs slowly lifting the dress. I groaned as my
body pleaded yes, but my brain screamed no. My hoarse plea fell somewhere in between.
“Stop, Michael. Please. We need to stop.”

He
released me immediately. I nearly fell as I scrambled off his lap. Guilt
consumed me as my thoughts returned to Kadyn. I stood shaken and confused by
the way Michael was making me feel. How could I possibly want him after
everything he had done? In the library, I had thought it best not to resist him,
but now that I was faced with the reality of that decision… it was so much
easier said than done. I couldn’t turn my feelings for Kadyn off like some damn
flashlight.

“
Mon
coeur
?” Michael asked. He looked hesitant to move.

“I’m
sorry, Michael. I… I… I just need time. Please, just give me some time.” I choked
back a sob as I ran from the garden. I stumbled back to our room and threw
myself across the bed as tears streamed down my face.

I
was devastated. I couldn’t believe Michael could still make me want him. When
he kissed me, everyone I loved, everything I respected in myself, and everything
I believed faded to gray. I was in love with Kadyn. Being with another man was
wrong. My heart ached as I began to sob.

“
But
you can’t have Kadyn…
” a small voice whispered from inside my mind.

“
I
don’t love Michael…”
I silently insisted.

“
Sacrifice
everything,
” the small voice replied.

“
Everything,
”
I numbly repeated.

“
Sacrifice
everything,
” we whispered as one.

*
* * * * *

Michael
gave me time to battle my emotions. He didn’t return to our room until shortly
before dinner. He sat beside me on the bed, then gently brushed the hair from
my face. “
Je suis
désolé.
I am sorry. It would
appear that I have frightened you again. It’s just… I… I want you so much, it
makes me lose my mind. You do want me,
mon amour
? I can feel that you
want me.”

I
slowly removed Michael’s hand from my hair. “Yes, Michael. I do want you, but I
don’t
want
to want you.”

Confusion
flitted across Michael’s face before he abruptly changed the topic. “I would
like to give you a tour of the house before dinner if you are feeling up to
it.”

I
scooted up in bed. Touring the house sounded like a much smarter course of
action than sitting in bed with Michael. “That sounds nice. Do you mind if I wash
up before we go?” My lips tasted salty, and my cheeks felt sticky from all the
tears.

Michael’s
eyes were sad as he trailed his finger down my cheek. He stood and helped me
from the bed. “Take whatever time you need,” he murmured softly. He kissed me
on top of the head.

I
walked into the bathroom, took one look in the mirror, and rolled my eyes. I
looked like I had been crying for a week. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and
ran a comb through my hair. Vanity got the best of me, so I dabbed some
concealer under my eyes and swiped some mascara on before returning to the
bedroom.

Michael
was standing at the windows overlooking the garden. His tailored dress shirt accentuated
his broad back and lean waist. His hands were shoved causally in the pockets of
his gray slacks. Michael turned as I entered the room. “
Tu es tellement belle
,”
he said, catching his breath.

I
gave him a confused look, not understanding the words.

“You
are so beautiful,” he explained.

Not
beautiful… broken
, I thought. “Thank you,” I responded
softly. I wondered how he could find me beautiful when my eyes were so puffy
and red.

Michael
reached for both of my hands. He held my gaze as he brought them to his lips.
“I will do my best to be patient,
mon coeur
, but you should know that I
am not a very patient man.”

I
looked down at the floor. I didn’t know how to respond.

Michael
pulled me into a soft embrace. “Let me introduce you to your new home,” he murmured
softly. He wrapped his arm around me as he led me through the house. I tried
not to resist the embrace.

Although
each room in the house was grand in its own way, the garden terrace was still
my favorite room. The pool room came in at a close second. The pool was secreted
in the basement. Steam rolled low over the warm water in the cool room. A
number of palm trees were scattered throughout the room in large decorative pots.
The ivory terracotta tile was swirled with a rich caramel color, which gave the
illusion of blowing and drifting sand.  Like most rooms in the house, there
were a number of sitting areas. The room was fairly dark because the recessed sun
lamps were turned off, but the ceiling sparkled with a million tiny LED lights
that twinkled like stars. The ambience conjured up visions of skinny dipping under
the stars in a remote tropical lake.

Another
tray of food was waiting for us when we returned to the bedroom. I wondered how
the staff could be so unobtrusive. Were they trying to respect our privacy,
trying to avoid Michael, or was it simply a job requirement to remain unseen?

Michael
poured our drinks as we settled onto the couch. “
Mon coeur
, there is
something I have been meaning to ask you.”

I
glanced at Michael as I pulled our plates from the tray. “Yes?” I inquired nervously.

His
eyes softened. “What happened to your little dog? He wasn’t at the apartment
yesterday, and I haven’t seen you walk him since May.”

The
memory of losing Cade brought tears to my eyes. “Cade died. He was so old, his
little heart gave out.” I would never forget the night Kadyn tried to save him.
I thought Cade was having a seizure. His body was wracked with spasms. Then he
became very still. I was clutching him to my chest and sobbing hysterically when
Kadyn pulled him from my arms and resuscitated him. We rushed him to the animal
hospital, only to have him die in my arms a few hours later.

The
room blurred as tears stole silently down my cheeks. Losing Cade after sixteen
years, especially after what we had been through together, had been one of the
most painful experiences of my life.

Michael
gently wiped away the tears. “Would you like another dog?”

I
shook my head. “No, Michael. No other dog could possibly take his place.” Of
that I was certain. Cade was a small Shih Tzu, weighing only nine pounds. He
had been broken and battered trying to protect me throughout an abusive
marriage that dragged on for years. He had seen me through more than any human
ever had. There was no replacing that.

“
Je suis
désolé,
”
Michael whispered as he kissed me on the temple. He pulled me close to him on
the couch, then hesitantly handed me a plate. “
Bon appétit
,” he said
with an encouraging smile.