Beautifully Twisted (29 page)

“You’re not being reasonable,” she pleads.

“You were going to fuck him, Alexa, and
I’m
not being reasonable?” he yells, and Alexa worries Martina will come in the office. “I’ll show you just how fucking unreasonable I can be.”

“Scotty, please stop yelling.” He grabs her arm and roughly pulls her towards him. “Stop it, Scott.”

“You know what your problem is, Alexa?” he asks as he holds her face so close to his she has trouble looking at him. “Your problem is that you think that you can treat me like you treat the other men in your life. You are so used to people doing whatever you say. But you just keep forgetting that I am the one who taught you how to act. You’d be nothing but a fucking secretary if it wasn’t for me.”

“Scott, you’re going to say something you will regret,” Alexa warns as she tries to pull herself free.

“I regret a lot of things I’ve said.”

“What does that mean, Scotty? You regret telling me how you feel?”

“Apparently it doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“How can you say that after all this time we’ve spent together? How can you be so angry? You know I love you and I’m committed to you. You can’t just flip on me when you don’t get your way.”

“Alexa, I swear to God, if you go to Spain, you will be the one regretting things. Walk away from this thing with Brett.”

“What
thing
with Brett? There is no thing!” Now Alexa is the one whose voice is raised.

“Maybe not to you, Alexa, but I know him better than you do. I do not trust him with you.”

“You have to trust me,” she says pointing at her own chest. “Me, Scotty.”

“This has nothing to do with my trust of you. Cancel the trip.”

She stares at him realizing he is not going to bend on this at all. Neither is she.

“No, Scotty.”

“Get on your knees,” he says forcefully.

“Are you serious right now?”

He glares at her and she sees his face filled with a mixture of anger and hurt. She has no idea what he’s about to do but she is sure it has nothing to do with pleasure. Weighing her options, she decides to try to hold her own. “I don’t want this right now.”

“I don’t care what you want, just like you don’t care about what I want.” He begins to unbuckle his belt and for just a moment, she wonders if he plans to use it on her. “You’re going to be so sorry for this, Alexa. So sorry.”

Alexa reaches up to touch his face but he slaps her hand away, stinging her skin and her heart with his rejection. “Scotty, please, you’re hurting me.”

“You’re fucking killing me,” he says, his words sounding like a growl. He leans close to her face and glares at her, staring at her with hard eyes. “Last chance, Lexi.”

She thinks quickly. How can she deescalate this situation before he does something they can’t come back from. Something in his eyes looks like punishment and pain and she can’t let that happen here. Scrambling onto her knees, she bows her head, and crosses her arms behind her back. “Sir, please, I’ll do better. Please don’t punish me,” she says, using her most submissive voice.

Scott pauses for a moment. “It’s too late for that, Alexa. You fucked up.”

She reaches out and strokes his legs through his jeans. “I know, sir. If it pleases you, may I have my punishment in a more private location? We both should be concerned about what others know about us.” She tries reason, praying it works.

“No one is here, Alexa. I can do whatever I want to you right now and no one would hear you. Right now, I’m so fucking angry I don’t give a shit if the Queen herself walks in the fucking room.”

She reaches up and unzips his jeans, remaining silent. This was her only chance to turn the situation around. “If it pleases you…”

He grabs her hand, stopping her. “No.”

Alexa slumps on the floor, defeated. Scott is silent for several minutes before he speaks.

“I’ve made a decision, Alexa. I’m going back to New York and you can do whatever the fuck you like, without me in your way.”

“No, Scotty! No!” Alexa clamors to her feet and tries to look in his eyes but he turns away. “You can’t just leave.”

“Yes, I can. I knew you would fucking break my heart.” He shakes his head, still avoiding eye contact with her.

“But I haven’t done anything. Scotty, I belong to you.”

Scott lifts his head and shoots a look at her. “Those are just words, baby girl. You don’t belong to anyone. That much is clear.”

“Are we breaking up?” she asks, tears flowing down her cheeks.

“I don’t know, Alexa. I don’t know if I can stay sane if I stay with you. You push me to a place that makes it hard for me to breathe. I can’t think straight, I can’t function.” He shakes his head. “I was this close to using this on you,” he sighs and slides the belt through his hand. “You were right. It’s not healthy.”

“Scotty, please,” Alexa sobs, “I can’t take it if you leave me again.”

“You should have thought about that before. This is the one thing I’ve asked you not to do and you can’t respect that.”

“Scotty…” She tries to hug him but he pushes her away.

“I’m leaving. I don’t know what the future holds but right now I need to get the hell away from you. I need to clear my head.”

“I’ll cancel the trip, Scotty, I will. I didn’t know it was this important to you.”

He glares at her. “It’s too late. You’re only making desperate attempts now.” She watches him cross her office and stand in the doorway. “Fuck, Alexa. I really thought we could do this. I really thought this time, we could make it. You’re breaking my fucking heart, Lexi.”

He turns to leave but Alexa rushes towards him, grabbing his arm. “Scotty, no, please. Give me another chance. We can do this.”

“I can’t. I tried. I’m just not enough.”

Alexa wipes the tears from her face. “How can you say that? You are more than enough. God, Scotty, you’re fucking everything to me.”

“Am I?” he says, but his voice is cold.

She nods her head. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted.”

He laughs, but it’s a mean laugh. “You have a funny way of showing it. You don’t get to have everything your way either. Goodbye, Lexi.” He kisses her cheek, lingering for just a moment. He starts to walk away but Alexa follows him, and even though a shocked Martina sits directly in front of her, Alexa knows she has to try one last time.

“Scotty, don’t you love me? How can you just leave if you love me?”

He turns back towards her and smiles and she thinks she may have gotten to him. “I do love you, Alexa. That is true. It always has been. But I won’t be played. I’m not one of the men that will crawl at your feet and lick your fucking boots. That’s not me, baby girl. When you get your head on straight, maybe I’ll still love you. Until then, I’m going to get on with my life and start the process of getting the fuck over you.” With that, he turns and walks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevator bank, leaving a distraught Alexa crying at her assistant’s desk.

Martina rushes to Alexa and walks her back into the privacy of her own office. She grabs some tissue and hands them to Alexa who sobs uncontrollably sitting on the small sofa in the room.

“Alexa, oh my gosh, Alexa,” Martina whispers. “I saw it all.”

Alexa looks up, her eyes full of tears and shock. “You saw it?” she asks, in between sobs.

Martina nods. “I heard Scott raise his voice and I was afraid for you, after the last time. I just came to the doorway and saw you…” Her voice trails off.

“You saw me on my knees,” Alexa states, plainly.

Martina nods and wraps her arms around Alexa as she continues crying. “I don’t understand, Alexa.”

“I want to leave. I want a drink and a fucking cigarette now.” Alexa twists her body away from Martina’s and stands to get her things.

“I’m coming with you then. We can go get a drink and talk it out. I think you could really use a kind ear and a warm shoulder to cry on,” Martina offers.

Alexa nods. Martina was right; she really did need someone to talk about what just happened. “Alright, the pub across the street?” Alexa suggests, blowing her nose and trying to calm down.

“A lot of people from the office go there. Let’s go to Brendon’s down the street.”

Alexa smiles. “Yes, let’s do that.”

“I’ll grab my coat.”

Alexa picks up her cell phone and dials Scott’s number. It rings and rings with no response before finally going to voicemail. She hangs up and takes a deep breath. She really did it this time. It’s almost unbelievable that their relationship just crumbled to dust.

“Ready?” Martina asks, appearing in the doorway.

“Yep,” Alexa says, and grabs her handbag.

They make their way down to the street and walk down the way to the pub. After choosing a table, Alexa orders an entire bottle of Jameson, while an astonished Martina looks on.

“What are you drinking, Martina?” Alexa asks.

“I’ll just have a crown and coke, please,” she says to the waiter. “How much of that are you gonna drink, Alexa?”

“As much as it takes, Martina.”

“Okay, so what the heck happened earlier? How did it end with you in tears?”

Alexa explains the whole dirty business to Martina, everything about Brett and Spain.

“I have to ask, Alexa, this thing on your knees. That was shocking.”

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” Alexa says. She looks up through her tipsy haze and decides to tell Martina all of it. Every last bit. From the beginning until just a few hours ago. As she does, she pours several glasses of the whiskey, loosening her tongue more with each sip. Every so often, she breaks into uncontrolled tears as she explains their whole sordid history, an attentive Martina listening to every word.

“How did you know you would like that? I mean, you were a virgin right? How did you know that being submissive would work for you?” Martina asks.

Alexa shrugs. “I guess I didn’t. It was more of an instinct and honestly, Scotty is so fucking hot, I would’ve done anything he said. His proposal was very convincing. I’ve thought about it over the years though and the only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with my childhood.”

“Was it bad?” Martina is beyond curious to finally understand more about her guarded boss and friend.

“Not really, it was just…hard. My dad left us when I was a baby and we struggled with money for years. He’s an alcoholic and just has a hard time being stable. My mom got married a lot so I had a lot of stepfathers and new siblings coming in and out of my house. My mom’s third husband was a real ass. He scared me and I thought for sure he would hit us one day.”

Martina gasps. “Oh my gosh, he didn’t though?”

Alexa shakes her head. “No, but he had a temper and drank a lot too. I think my mom just kept trying to find the replacement for my father. She’s going through her fourth divorce right now.” She takes another shot of whiskey. “It’s actually really sad. She was a beautiful woman but her insecurities have gotten the best of her. She spends all her husbands’ money on plastic surgery and designer clothes. I think it’s what made me so ambitious to have my own career and work so hard to be independent. That’s why I moved to New York. On the flip side, Scotty was and still is protective and nurturing in his own way. I needed that. It’s another reason his offer was so appealing.” She smiles. “I had a therapist tell me I have daddy issues, so there you go.”

“So, you let Brett do that to you? The knees thing?” Martina asks.

Alexa opens her mouth to speak but then remembers she told Brett she would keep his preferences between them. “No, he’s not into that. It was just normal stuff mostly, until I made things stop.”

Martina nods. “It’s such a surprise to me that you have anything submissive about your personality at all. You certainly don’t come across that way in public.”

“Scotty taught me this. He taught me how to hold my own in the business world. After we broke up before, it became very easy to hide my feelings because I just shut them off. I really fucked up, Martina. He’s going to go back to New York and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” Alexa’s tears flow down her cheeks once more. “I really love him. I know I do.”

“So go to him, Alexa.” Martina strokes her hand. “Go to him. I’ll rearrange the entire Spain trip or cancel it all together. Go to him.”

“In New York?” Alexa sobs.

“Yes, in New York. I saw his eyes, Alexa. The way he looked at you was heartbreaking. I don’t know that I agree with how he handled this, but he loves you too and nothing has happened that can’t be undone. But, the two of you need to figure out a new way to communicate and a new way to fight. And you need to resolve this issue with Brett.”

“I know, but in my eyes it’s not an issue anymore.”

“Alexa, wouldn’t you feel the same way if the situation was reversed?”

Alexa stares at Martina, hit by a sudden clarity. “Yeah, I would. I get it. I just thought I needed to stand up for myself.”

“Let’s do a little test. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind, k?” Martina asks, and Alexa nods. “If it came down to it and you had to choose between Braveheart or Scotty the hotty which would you choose.”