Beauty and the Beasts [Bride Train 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (23 page)

She asked Gabe what he needed to learn, since he knew his partners so well. He sighed, held her close, and said, “That my mama was right. The love of a good woman makes life worthwhile.” Then he kissed her, and proved that he knew all about her clit after all, and had thought of a few new ways to make her tremble.

Sarah stood up to wash. The cool room turned her wet skin to gooseflesh. Her nipples bumped out the most, of course. She bent over the tub and reached for a cup to dip water and wash the soap off. She felt as if her skin was finally alive. Maybe all those kisses which covered her body from two different sets of lips during the last few days and nights had woken her senses.

She put on a clean shift, stockings, petticoat, blouse, skirt, and boots. Oz promised he’d empty the tub and fill the water reservoir for supper. Time was wasting, as Sophie would say, so she opened the door and stepped out.

Gabe had his saddlebags over his shoulder as if caught on his way to the house. “Sophie says Oliver is doing well, and she’ll be happy to return him to you as soon as someone can deliver him. It seems he doesn’t like to sleep alone and showed up at Nora Dawes’s home. Mrs. Johnston’s in your old room, and she isn’t happy about a cat on her bed.”

Sarah pressed her lips together to hold back a smile. “He likes to cuddle up against my back.”

“Will you sleep well tonight, without him curled against your back?”

A light blush tinged Gabe’s ears. She put her finger on his shirt, right about where his male nipple would be. “You think you could keep me warm instead?”

He gulped. “I don’t know if I can sleep beside you all night.” He clenched and unclenched his hands, refusing to meet her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” She took his hands in hers and brought them to her mouth. She kissed one set of knuckles, and then the other. “If my bed is too small, we can put the pallet on the floor.”

“I…if someone touches me in the night, I lash out. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He held his body rigid. She could feel his tension even in his fingers. “You didn’t do that Saturday night. Why now?”

He screwed up his face as if fighting tears, or a great fear. She put her arms around him, her head on his chest. His heart beat as strongly as when she first seduced him. Only, this time it wasn’t lust.

“You don’t have to tell me,” she whispered. “I just thought it might help to get it out. Like my brand.”

His arms were so long that his elbows stuck out when he hugged her. He rested his chin on her head.

“You’re right. It’s about time.” He cleared his throat. “I went to prison when I was sixteen.”

His voice shook. She waited, but he said nothing more. She kissed his chest, the only place she could reach. He sighed.

“I attacked a man who was beating a fourteen-year-old girl. I liked her, and thought to marry her once she turned sixteen. I didn’t know her father had already married her off. According to the law, that man had every right to beat her because she was his wife, and was running away. I spent a few weeks in a hellhole of a prison. Thank God I was so big. Other boys weren’t.”

He pulled her tight. She held him back, as hard as she could. She had to clench her jaw to keep from saying something soothing. But nothing would soothe him. Not until he got it all out, whatever it was.

“After I punched a few of them, they didn’t try to…hurt me at night anymore. I still couldn’t sleep if anyone came near. Then one night I woke to screams. A boy half my size, one I’d played checkers with using rocks and pebbles, was being attacked. No one would help him, because the man was the toughest in the prison.” Gabe shuddered a breath. “I went crazy. I pushed the boy away and almost killed the bastard before the others pulled me off. That’s why I got whipped.”

“You saved the boy.”

Gabe removed one arm from around her in order to wipe his eyes. He nodded. “When I told them why I did it, the prison head got angry. He didn’t want anyone to know those things happened in his prison. He moved all the boys and weaker men into one area, away from the others.” He hugged her again. “It was worth a whipping to know they would be safe, at least from the worst of the worst.”

“Lashes from a whip heal,” she said quietly. “Not the shame and humiliation of rape. It doesn’t matter that you did nothing to cause it. You still feel…” She couldn’t complete the sentence.

“Violated.” He nodded. “Of course you’d understand. I never told anyone before. Not even Luke knows that much.” He stepped back and looked at her. His eyes were red and wet, but he smiled. “You’re right. It feels good to finally get it out.” His eyes warmed. A twinkle appeared. He moved his hand to cover her breast. Her nipple rose to meet his palm.

“Maybe I won’t have a problem sleeping with you after all. Perhaps we should check that out tonight.”

“If you hold my breast like that, I’m not sure how much sleeping we’ll do.”

He chuckled. “That sounds even better.”

She prepared for a kiss, but he choked and craned his neck to look out the door.

“Dammit, Oz, get some clothes on.”

“I had a quick bath in Sarah’s water,” said Oz. “Why would I put on clean clothes while I’m still wet?”

“Then hurry up. You’ll scare the chickens with that thing!”

She tried to look around Gabe, but he held her so tight that she couldn’t move. “I want to see!”

“Don’t worry, angel,” called Oz. “I’ll show you everything again tomorrow.”

“Oz!” Gabe roared the word over her head.

“I’m going, I’m going!” His muttering disappeared. Then she heard him stomping in the front cabin. “We gotta cut a door in here,” he yelled. “I don’t want to go outside every time we need to get to the stove.”

“Great. You can do it tomorrow, when you’re home with Sarah,” called Gabe.

“But it’ll take all day!”

Gabe winked at her. “So much the better,” he yelled back. “Sarah’s got washing and cooking to do tomorrow. If you’re cutting a door, she might get something done.”

Another silence.

“I’ll make sure she’s well done by the time you get home,” said Oz, chuckling.

Sarah gasped a laugh.

“Let’s make the most of our time,” murmured Gabe. “I think I need more practice kissing you.”

A lone horse’s whinny rang out. The greeting was returned by others. Gabe groaned. He rested his forehead against hers.

“Maybe later. Sounds like Luke’s home.”

Luke kept his horse at a slow walk to keep his head from rolling off his shoulders. A full day of riding in the sun with a hangover, even though he kept his hat pulled low over his forehead, turned a bad headache into something awful.

His insides rebelled, though he’d eaten nothing since supper the night before. At first it was the whiskey-induced morning-after stomach that made him feel sick. As the day progressed, it was what he needed to say to Sarah that kept it that way.

He needed to find words that would make her understand he wanted a partner, not just someone to produce sons. As the husband, he’d provide everything she needed to raise their children, and would protect his family from harm. His wife would provide those children, of course, and create their loving home. They would have separate, but equal, responsibilities.

Just like his mother and father, their marriage would be based on mutual respect. As servants, Gabe and his brothers didn’t have the same requirement to be gentlemen. They didn’t have to follow a strict set of rules with women, and could marry whoever they wanted.

Luke’s parents spoke to each other with quiet, cold respect. They had separate suites at different ends of the house. Gabe’s parents laughed and joked, quarreled and kissed. Sometimes he caught them looking at each other as if they wished to retire to their single bedroom. He once asked Gabe if his father had a mistress. Gabe said his mother would kill his father if he touched another woman.

Luke never saw his father touch his mother. Nor did he touch his son or daughters. His mother kept to herself as well. Thinking back, the only adult who touched him was Gabe’s mother. When he was in the kitchen, Mrs. Downey would hug him just as much as she did Gabe. She’d smack his hand for stealing a cookie or take a switch to him just as quickly. She laughed, sang, and even listened to him on the rare occasions that he had questions or concerns.

Had he ever seen his father, or his mother, smile? Had they ever listened, instead of lectured? He nudged the horse over to the east side of the shed. He’d unsaddle him there, out of the blasted sun. His father was always stern, even the few times he’d given praise. The only expression he remembered on his mother’s placid face was a rare frown.

Which family best suited the ways of the West? The stern, stiff Frosts whose purpose in life was to advance the family? Or the open, loving Downey family who worked hard but enjoyed each other?

How did he want to raise his children? More importantly, how did Sarah?

Luke leaned forward to lift his foot out of the stirrup and dismount. The movement jarred his head and upset his stomach. He barely managed to get down without passing out or throwing up. He grabbed the pommel, hoping to stay upright until the world stopped spinning and the pounding in his head lessened enough that he could hear over it.

Because of the imbalance of men and women, things were different in the West. They were even more different in Tanner’s Ford. Trace, Simon, and Jack openly kissed and caressed Beth, even in town. He wasn’t sure if he would act that way in public, but he wanted a wife who could respond as freely as Jessie had the previous day with Sin. He wasn’t sure how that could happen and still respect each other, though.

All winter he worried that, due to what happened in Bannack City, Sarah would fear having children, and the process that led to it. But Sarah had kissed Oz in the dining room, and he’d seen her kiss Gabe like there was no tomorrow. Yesterday, she smiled as she helped Sophie feed more than a dozen men, some without their shirts. She laughed with them during supper and eagerly danced with them all. That’s when Gillis passed over a bottle of whiskey and things got fuzzy. He woke next to the stove in the same room as Oz and Gabe. They said Sarah slept in the cabin, though the door was still shut when he left.

Sarah liked his partners. A lot. No matter how hard he tried to pretend they’d done nothing but kiss her while guarding her, he wasn’t that stupid. But she wouldn’t even kiss him. If he wanted her to be his wife, he had to change her opinion of him.

Gabe’s mother once said it was always safe to start a difficult talk with an apology. The problem was, he wasn’t sure what to apologize for. No doubt Gabe could give him a whole list.

“You going to let go of that poor beast, or hang on to him all night?”

Luke didn’t have to open his eyes to recognize Gabe’s voice.

“I haven’t made up my mind yet. Got any ideas?”

“Go stick your head in the horse trough again. You eat anything today?”

He caught himself just before he shook his head. “No.”

“You up to rabbit? Oz snared a couple. Sarah’s thinking about a fricassee or maybe frying them. Maybe chop them up, dip them in flour, and fry them in lard.”

He pressed his hand to his belly. “How can I be both hungry and sick to my stomach at the same time?”

“Beer, whiskey, and stupidity. Got your eyes open yet?”

“I’m working on it.”

He opened them when Gabe pulled him away from his horse. He put a hand out, found the shed wall, and backed up against it.

“Hell, Luke, I didn’t think you could look worse, but those bloodshot eyes are something to behold.” Oz nudged Gabe. “And you thought I’d scare the chickens!”

“I’m going to unsaddle this poor beast,” said Gabe. “Make yourself useful and help Luke to the horse trough.”

“My pleasure!” Oz grinned and rubbed his hands. “Can you walk, or should I drag you by your feet?”

Luke held up his hand. “Why don’t you do the horse. I need to talk to Gabe.”

“I’m not good enough for you to talk to?”

“Perhaps you could both be of assistance.”

“He must be feeling better if he’s using those highfalutin’ words again,” said Oz.

Gabe handed Luke the bridle. “Hang it up. I’ve got the saddle. We’ll talk in the house.”

“Uh, no,” replied Luke. “It’s about Sarah. I need to apologize, and—”

“Damn right you do!”

“Oz, give the man a chance to speak before you stomp on him,” said Gabe calmly. “If we don’t like what he says,
then
we stomp.”

“I need water,” said Luke.

“Wait right here,” said Oz cheerfully. He walked around the shed.

“What’s this all about?” Gabe pushed past Luke with the saddle. Luke followed with the bridle.

“I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to apologize to Sarah about. You said I was an ass, and more, but all I want is to marry her.”

Gabe hung up the saddle, put the blanket upside down on top of it, and held out his hand for the bridle. He wiped it off, hung it up, and left the shed. When Gabe got that thinking look, he wouldn’t talk until he knew what he wanted to say. Perhaps that would be a good thing to consider. When he used to be young, rich, and handsome, he got away with talking first and thinking later. It didn’t work anymore, but he didn’t always remember.

Luke followed Gabe out of the shed. He was about three steps away when he heard a
whoosh
. He turned, barely closing his eyes before the contents of Oz’s bucket hit him. The shock of cold water damn near stopped his heart. For a moment he couldn’t breathe.

“What the hell did you do that for!” He wiped his eyes with a soaking shirtsleeve. When he could see, he glared at Oz.

“You wanted water.” Oz shrugged it off. “Figgered this would clear your head fast.”

Luke wasn’t sure if he’d fall over if he attacked Oz, so he just glared. Oz must have decided Luke wasn’t going to throttle him, as he turned the wooden bucket upside down and sat. Luke shuddered. His head didn’t throb near as bad as it had, and he felt more awake. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t get Oz back later.

“I know what you need to apologize for,” said Gabe.