Beauty and the Boss (Modern Fairytales) (11 page)

Chapter Twelve

B
enjamin was going to
kill
her. He kept teasing her with soft caresses of his tongue, then he’d pull back so she couldn’t come and start all over again. If he kept it up, he might find out what it felt like to be punched by a farmer’s daughter. She had a strong uppercut, thanks to her father’s tutelage, so he’d be surprised.

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t be.

He seemed to understand her better than any other man she’d ever been with, and it was kind of scary. Cool, too, but mostly frightening. She kept pushing him away, but he hadn’t let her drive him off, like she had other men. And he was right. What they had together
did
feel like it was meant to be, which made this whole mess even worse, because they didn’t stand a chance of making it.

But she was going to do it anyway.

And he’d be with her the whole time.

He ran his thumb over her clitoris, watching her as she tensed—and then he did it
again
. “
Yes
.”

“I love it when you make that sound,” he said, lifting his head from between her thighs. Lucky for him, he showed no signs of retreating. If he had, she would’ve jammed her heel into his upper back till he finished what he started. “So sexy.”

He flicked his tongue over her again, and she cried out, so close to the edge it hurt. All she needed was one last push and she’d be flying, soaring, floating. He dug his fingers into her skin and deepened his intimate kiss, and she got what she needed. She came explosively, and the whole world froze around them.

Everything ceased to exist except this. Them. What he made her feel.

And it was incredible.

“
Maggie
,” he said, his voice broken and raw.

He let her hit the mattress and grabbed the condom off the side of the bed. While he rolled it on with steady fingers, she looked her fill. She’d always thought he couldn’t possibly look any hotter than he did in his business suits, but she was wrong. He was ridiculously hot out of them, too.

So not fair.

His broad shoulders and hard pecs narrowed down to an admirable six-pack, and he had a heck of an erection, too. So much so that she wondered if the condom would even work for him because
oh my God, he was huge
.

He
really
had it all.

He lowered his body over hers again and kissed her, his tongue seeking and finding hers as he slid his hands behind her back and undid her bra without a struggle. When he closed his palms over her breasts, dragging his thumb over her aching nipples, she moaned into his mouth. When he did it again, even rougher, the same broken sound escaped her.

Breaking off the kiss, he rested his forehead on hers, his breathing uneven and harsh. His hard length pressed against her, close but not close enough. Nothing would ever be close enough. “I’m trying to take it slow. To make love to you slowly, but damn it, I need you, darling.”

“Then stop trying.” She dug her heels into the muscles of his butt. “Go slow next time.”

“Next time,” he uttered almost reverently, as if he couldn’t believe he’d get one. As if this was a one and done deal. Maybe that was all he wanted, and she’d just made a fool of herself by assuming he’d want more. He touched her cheek softly, eyeing her with a possessive strength that took her breath away. “Yeah.”

“Unless you don’t want—”

“Oh, I want.” He buried his face in her neck. “I fucking want.”

And then he thrust inside of her in one long, hard motion.

She dug her nails into his back, closing her eyes. Biting down on her shoulder, he moved his hips in a way that made her think she’d died and gone to heaven, because the things he did to her weren’t possible.

Nothing real could feel
that
good.

He pulled almost all the way out of her and then drove back in, hitting some magical, mythical spot she’d only ever read about, but never felt. She wanted to shy away from it, because it was
so
out of her control, and that scared her, but she couldn’t fight it.

Couldn’t fight him.

She arched her back, dragging her nails down his arms. “
Benjamin.
”

“Shh. I’m here, Maggie. I have you.” He lifted her hips. “Hold on tight, darling. I promise I won’t let go.”

He caught her mouth with his and drove even deeper.

She clung to him, no longer fighting the feelings he brought out in her. Tension pooled in her stomach, drowning out everything. All that remained was what he was doing to her, sweeping her into an inferno of passion and pleasure until she was weak.

“
Jesus
.” He grunted and moved harder, faster, and smoother inside of her, his hands flexing on her butt. “You feel…too…fucking…good. Addicting.”

She wanted to reply, she
really
did.

But all she could manage was a strangled groan that came out more like a sob. The tension building inside her tightened, and every nerve in her body tingled, until she was sure something had to give or she’d die. He kissed her again, thrusting inside her, and slid his hand between them to press against her clitoris.

She screamed into his mouth, stars bursting in front of her as she came stronger than she’d
ever
come before. The second she flew into the sky, he tensed, too, and his whole body stiffened. He let out a string of curses and collapsed on top of her, his heart thumping against hers. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close even though she shouldn’t. He didn’t move away.

If anything, he snuggled closer.

After a few minutes, he let out a long sigh. “Jesus, Maggie.” He lifted up on his elbows and stared down at her, his blue eyes somehow darker and stormier than she’d ever seen them. “That was fucking incredible.”

She smiled at him shyly, loving how he lost himself in her arms enough to let the f-bomb fly without apologizing. “It was.”

He smoothed her hair and smiled back at her tenderly. Like, really smiled at her. Dimples and all. Even his eyes shone with happiness. His smiles always stole her breath away, but this time he did more than that. He stole her soul, too, like some sort of ninja. “Still think I’m the worst mistake you ever made?” he asked.

Her head was spinning, and she was a mess of emotions, confusion, and a little bit of fear. “Nope.”

“Progress.” He kissed her lightly, pulling back way too soon. He was still smiling, and his eyes were still unguarded. “Good.”

She ran her fingers over his hard biceps and glanced away. “But it doesn’t have to change anything if you don’t want it to. This could happen again, or it could be a one time only thing, and we go back to being friends.” The more she spoke, the stiffer he got on top of her. Yet she kept on talking because once she started, she couldn’t stop. It was like a verbal bomb exploded inside her. “I don’t expect anything out of you at all, just because you saw me naked. I’m one hundred percent okay with going back to the way things were, if that’s what you want.”

“Are you now? How
great
to know.” He rolled off her and rested a hand on his flat stomach. His jaw flexed as he stared up at the ceiling at nothing in particular. He seemed so closed right now, with no emotion whatsoever showing on his face, so she had no idea what was going through his head. Like freaking usual. “I get it. You’ve been hurt by some jackass before. But I’m not that guy.”

“I know you’re not him.” She swallowed and fought the urge to cover herself with something. Talking about something so vulnerable while being so, well,
naked
, was not her idea of fun. She played with a piece of her hair and pursed her lips, trying to pretend like it wasn’t awkward at all to be talking to her boss-slash-fake fiancé-slash-real lover, while naked no less, about her poor life choices. So she let out a nervous laugh. “You could say I don’t exactly have the best track record with men, like, ever. At all.”

He rubbed his chin and turned to her. She stared up at her ceiling fan, which wasn’t even moving. “Have you ever loved anyone?” he asked.

“Wow,” she said, laughing uneasily again. She tugged on a piece of hair and wrapped it around her finger, fighting the panic rising in her chest. Where the heck was he going with this? She couldn’t think of a single reason why he’d ask her that. “Deep talk. Are you sure we’re ready for this? I mean, we literally
just
finished having sex for the first time.”

“I think it’s a great time, because you said that you didn’t think I was a mistake.” He rolled off the bed, walked over to the trash can, disposed of the condom, and then picked up his pants. After stepping into them, he buttoned and zipped them up, and smoothed his hair. He looked unbelievably, undeniably, hot as hell. “After which you immediately tried to run away.”

“I didn’t run.” She held her hands out. “I didn’t even get out of
bed
.”

“Doesn’t mean you weren’t running.” He frowned at her, catching her gaze and refusing to let go. “You’re pushing me away again, just like you do every time I get too close to you. It’s getting really fucking old, Maggie.”

Had
she done that?

Yeah, okay. She kind of had, but it wasn’t an intentional slight.

It was just…habit.

In her experience, once men got what they wanted—
aka
sex—they were done with you. She’d given him that, so it was only a matter of time till he left, or did something drastically horrible to ruin everything.

It’s what men did.

Especially the ones she dated.

“I’m sorry,” she said. It wasn’t enough, but it was true. “I didn’t mean to do that. To hurt you.”

He didn’t reply, just rolled his hands into tight fists. She knew she’d messed up everything with her knee jerk reaction to the way he made her feel, so she swallowed hard and stared at the fan again. It was safer than looking at
him
. It didn’t offer much distraction, but she did notice she needed to dust it. And—

He let out an irritated sound. “
Look
at me.”

She fisted the comforter underneath of her and slowly turned to him, as he’d requested. He wasn’t naked anymore, while she was, and it felt weird.

Sitting up, she hugged her knees, trying to shield herself in more ways than one. “What do you want from me, Benjamin?”

“You. Just you.” He must’ve read something in her expression, because he picked up her robe and tossed it at her. She caught it easily. “You say one thing, and then do another, and I have no damn clue what you want from me. You’ve been hurt before, and you’re scared to risk letting another man in. But you’ve got to
try
, or we don’t stand a chance in hell of making it outside this room. Can you do that? Can you let me in?”

Her throat throbbed, and she could feel tears looming. Not because she was upset or in pain, but because he got her. Like, really
got
her, and that was both frightening and enlightening all at once. She shrugged into her robe and hugged it closed. “You’re right. I am scared. But that’s because I see how—”

“How this ends,” he finished.

She swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“
Bullshit
.” He dragged his hand through his hair and sat beside her. Reaching out, he caught both her hands in his. “You can’t know how something is going to end before it even begins. It’s not humanly possible.”

“I think it began a while ago, so it’s not too hard to understand what comes next.”

“So what happens now?” He squeezed her fingers. “Go on. Tell me.”

She lifted a shoulder. “You got what you wanted, so you leave.”

He let her go. “Excuse me?”

“Sex.” She bit her tongue. “You got it, and now you’ll move on.”

“Is that really what you think of me?” he asked quietly. He sounded…hurt. She turned to him. His blue eyes were dark and haunted. “Do you think I fucked you, and now I’m finished with you? Just like that?”

“Not to hurt me, or anything. It’s not anything personal. It’s just…” She bit her lip. “It’s how guys are. I get it.”

“Jesus, Maggie.” His jaw tightened and he shook his head, picking up his shirt angrily. The muscles in his arm were hard and the veins stuck out. “I had no idea you had such a poor opinion of me.”

“It’s not you,” she said quickly. Tightening her fingers on her knees, she tried to think how best to get him to understand what she meant. “It’s me.”

He laughed. “Wow. I’ve never had that used on me before.”

“N-No. I’m not breaking it off with you. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“What the fuck do you want, Maggie?” He held his arms out. “You want me to stay, or to go? Care, or not care? Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”

She wrung her hands. It was all or nothing. She had to open up, and let him in, and hope he didn’t make her regret it. “I want you to stay, to care, but that scares me. It scares me
a lot
.”

“Why?” He white-knuckled his shirt. “Because I’m such an uncaring beast?”

“You’re right. Because every time I’ve let someone into my heart, all it’s done is given him a weapon to use against me. And nine times out of ten? He used that weapon.”

“Who used the weapon on you, Maggie?”

“Who didn’t?” She lifted a shoulder. It wasn’t easy to talk about this, but he deserved the truth. “I told you about one of my exes, but what you don’t realize is they’ve
all
hurt me. They’ve all done horrible things. The one before the last one not only broke my heart, he tore it to shreds. Slept with my best friend back home, right in front of me, but I was too stupid to notice. And when I finally did see it? He didn’t even stop. Just invited me to join. She laughed at me. So did he. The guy before him
literally
stole from me. My wallet. My TV. All of it.”

Benjamin sat down, watching her. “I’m not that kind of guy.”

“Maybe not. But there have been other guys like him. Every man I’ve trusted with my heart has broken it. Broken me or
robbed
me.” She tapped her fingers on her thighs restlessly, because she’d just bared her soul, and it scared her more than he did. “So, I don’t let myself care anymore. I push people away before they get close enough to hurt me. But with you, it’s harder than usual. I
want
to care. I
want
to let you in. That’s the God’s honest truth.”