Because of You (8 page)

It’s sweltering out here today, and the beach is packed. I always get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when it’s this crazy. People don’t realize that their life can change in an instant; you take your eyes off someone for one split second and it’s already too late. It wouldn’t be bad if they actually listened to you when you warned them about the danger of riptides, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

Riley never called me last night, so I sent her a text around eleven. I’m wondering if she really was going to call me or if she wanted to get out of my Jeep for a different reason.

I’m thinking about yesterday and the way her cheeks flushed when I spread my hand over her thigh. She bolted so fast she didn’t wait for me to put the Jeep in park. I have to chuckle when I think about it. She’s so damn cute.

I have a shrink appointment tonight so I won’t be able to see her. I’ve been going once a month for over a year now. Just after the accident it was twice a week. Should I be honest, and tell Dr. Adams about Riley? What happens if she thinks I’m not ready for a serious relationship? Aw hell, I couldn’t stop seeing Riley now even if God himself told me to stay away. She’s too far under my skin.

Other than having to blow my whistle a few times because some kids were too far out from the swim zone, the day went by without any problems. When I had lunch with Alex and Emma, I asked them if they would mind skipping the bonfire for this week. I have something special planned just for me and Riley. It’s a surprise.

When my shift’s done I have just enough time to head home to shower and change before my appointment. I don’t even have enough time to thumb through a magazine before I’m called into Dr. Adams’s office.

“How are you doing today, Hunter?” Dr. Adams sits in her cushy chair with her notebook in hand.

“I’m doing well, you?” A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.

“I’m very good, but we’re not here to talk about me.” Her smile fades as she puts her game face on. “Why don’t you tell me about the anniversary of the “accident,” since it’s coming up soon?” She looks at me so intensely my hands begin to sweat.

“I would like to talk about something different today. I met a girl; her name’s Riley and I’m crazy about her. ” I’d rather talk about the girl who stole my heart than the accident any day. That’s all I’ve been reliving day after day for almost three years now.

“Our next session will be after the anniversary. Are you sure you’re all right with this?” I nod my head. “Well I’m glad to hear that you’re comfortable talking about something or someone else. So tell me about the mystery girl who’s put a permanent smile on your face.” She scribbles something in her notebook before looking up, waiting for me to start.

So I do. For the next fifty minutes I tell her everything about Riley Hamilton that has me so excited about my future, that I’m finally pumped about getting up in the morning.

The hour goes by so fast the next thing I know she’s walking me out. As she opens the door she says, “If you need me between appointments all you have to do is call my cell. ” She tells me this after every visit.

I’m thinking that the visit went well—she didn’t discourage me from seeing Riley. She thinks it’s a good thing I’m focusing on something positive. As I’m heading for the door, it opens and I’m met with those stormy blue eyes looking right into mine.

“Hi, baby. This is a nice surprise. ” Folding her in my arms I brush my lips against hers.

The receptionist clears her throat. “Riley, Dr. Adams is ready to see you now. ”

“You have an appointment here?” I don’t know why this surprises me, but it does.

“Thanks for the text last night; it was sweet. I’ll talk to you later. ” She places a soft kiss on my cheek, then walks into the office, the same office where I just poured out my heart and soul to my doctor, about her.

As I walk out of the building it occurs to me that Dr. Adams took an oath, because if not I’d be so screwed right now.

I’m feeling self-conscious talking to Dr. Adams after seeing Hunter leave her office. Did he talk about me?

“So how are things going at home with your dad?” She breaks into my thoughts.

“It’s going okay. He’s not home much; it seems like he’s always working. ” I try to smile but it doesn’t touch my lips.

“Have you tried to talk to him about it, tell him how you feel?” She leans forward, trying to get closer.

“He assured me that he’s trying to clear up some of his cases, then he won’t take on so many once he’s caught up."

I shrug my shoulders. I hate talking to strangers about my crappy childhood. I’ve learned to solve my own problems early on, but Dad insists I see her. He told me he was seeing her too, because of all the guilt he feels about leaving me. He also told me he’d like to start having sessions together when I’m ready, so we can work on our relationship.

The hour drags by. I can’t wait for Paul to take me home. All I can think about is relaxing in the hot tub while ending the night with some Rocky Road ice cream.

After seeing Hunter come out of the office, I don’t bring him up at all. I wanted to talk about him instead of my mom and dad, but I chickened out.

As I head out the building I see a familiar Jeep in the parking lot, and there’s this sexy guy leaning against it with his arms folded, his legs crossed at the ankle. I drink him all in. He’s so damn sexy and he’s all mine.

“Did you send Paul home?” I ask as I run my hands up his strong arms, hooking them around his neck.

“I did; he was hesitant to leave you, but I told him you’re in good hands. ” A wicked smile spreads across his face. He cups my cheeks, licks his lips and dives in for a kiss that curls my toes while turning my insides into molten lava.

When we break apart I see those stunning blue eyes fill with desire, making my cheeks turn crimson. “How about you take me home? We can raid the fridge and end the night in the hot tub. ” Suddenly the need for ice cream becomes secondary over spending time with Hunter.

“That sounds like the best idea you’ve had in a long time. ” He opens the door on the driver’s side, “But you’re driving. I’m going to kick back and relax. ” He winks at me and settles in for the ride.

He’s the first to bring up Dr. Adams. “So is this the first time you saw the good doctor?”

I can’t take my eyes off the road. I haven’t mastered that yet. “No, this is the second time; the first was when I had been here for a few days. ”

“Do you like her? I guess I’m curious to know if she’s helping you. ” He takes a deep breath.

“You know, I don’t like to talk about myself with strangers. I think what’s in the past should stay there, that I should concentrate on my future. ” I shrug my shoulders. “Too much damage has happened for it to be fixed; I don’t see anything coming out of this. ”

“That’s how I felt when I started going. Promise me you’ll give it some time before making your decision. She’s really helped me come to terms with what happened, not that the pain will ever go away, but it does make the load a little lighter. ”

How can I deny him anything? He’s my voice of reason. I nod my head to let him know I’ll try—that’s all I can do.

I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for her growing up. She’s told me that the thought of hugging or kissing someone used to freak her out. I guess that’s what happens when you have no physical contact at a young age. It’s just too overwhelming for me to even think about. But yet, she’s sitting here with me, we’ve only known each other a few short weeks, and she trusts me with her heart.

When I glance up, I see she’s already pulled into the driveway. Riley touches my arm and says, “Hunter, where’d you go? I thought I lost you for a minute. ”

Grabbing her hand I hold her palm against my cheek. “Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?” She looks bashful as she shakes her head, while biting her bottom lip. “Well, let it be known, right here right now, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. ” Gazing into those stormy eyes I kiss the palm of her hand before getting out of the Jeep.

When I hold out my hand she buries her face in my chest, fisting my shirt in her hands, like she’s afraid to let me go. Suddenly I’m afraid of what’s going to happen next. Did my therapist tell her it’s too early for her to be involved in a relationship? My heart’s slamming inside my chest and I’m finding it hard to breathe.

“What’s wrong baby?” I rub my hands up and down her arms as I wait for her answer.

She looks up at me with tears glistening in her eyes. “I think you’re pretty amazing too. ”

Crushing my mouth to hers I skim my tongue over that bottom lip she loves to bite so much. When her lips part for me, I suck her tongue into my mouth. She tastes so damn good. I can’t get enough of this girl; she consumes my every waking moment, and she’s also gifted me with some mind-blowing wet dreams. I can’t help but smile as I think of a few.

“What’s so funny?” she asks as she jabs me in the ribs.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about something. Let’s go raid the fridge, then we can make a picnic by the Jacuzzi. How’s that sound?” Grabbing her elbow I lead her into the kitchen door.

“That sounds like a game plan to me. ” She winks at me before heading inside.

We grab some cold pasta salad, cheese, olives and some crusty bread. I grab a few beers, while she takes some sweet tea. Scooting her upstairs so she can change I hurry to set up everything before going upstairs to put on my shorts. When I round the corner I see she’s already relaxing in the warm bubbles.

Sliding in beside her I lean in to kiss her neck just above her collarbone. She gasps as her body trembles against my mouth.

“If you keep that up I’m going to straddle you right here and now. ” She looks at me like she could eat me up.

I throw my hands up in surrender. “We better stick to food; I don’t want your dad seeing us grinding against each other tonight. ”

“That’s a very wise decision,” she laughs. I hand her a plate of food.

After we finish eating we sit in the hot tub until our skin shrivels up like prunes. When we finally climb out I cover her with my shirt before sitting in the lounge chair and tucking her between my legs. We talked until one in the morning. Whispering in her ear I tell her, “I’m looking forward to Friday so I won’t have to say goodnight. ”

When I wake up I realize it’s Saturday morning. Mommy always makes me pancakes on the weekends. So I jumped out of bed and put on my slippers.

Taking a quick peek out the window has me squealing with excitement because it’s snowing! That means Daddy will take me sledding or help me build a snowman.

I run down stairs as fast as my feet will carry me. “Mommy, Daddy it’s snowing! Can I go out after breakfast?” When I round the corner I see a couple of suitcases sitting by the front door. Are we going on a family holiday?

Then I hear the loud voices; they’re fighting again. When Daddy storms out of the kitchen, he looks mad until he sees me standing there.

“
Riley Bear, what are you doing up so early?” He scoops me up in his arms, peppering my face with kisses which causes me to giggle.

I shrug my shoulders and stick my thumb in my mouth.

“
I have to go on a trip, so you be a good girl for mommy. I’ll call you in a couple of days. ” When I touch his cheek it’s slick with tears. He hugs me so tight I can’t breathe. Then he kisses the top of my head and puts me down. He leaves me standing there as he picks up his suitcases and walks out the door, never looking back.

Running into the kitchen I see Mommy sitting in the chair, her head lying on her arms as she cries.

“
Mommy what’s wrong?” I ask while reaching out to touch her.

She whirls around in her chair, glaring at me. “It’s because of you, Riley. That’s why Daddy’s leaving, because you’ve been a bad girl and he’s never coming back!”

Feeling the tears streaming down my face I race out of the kitchen and go flying up the stairs. Flinging myself on the bed I cry myself to sleep. And so begins the nightmare of my life.

Waking up I struggle to breathe as I clutch the sheets like they’re my lifeline. My body’s covered in a cold sweat, my hair plastered to my face. My heart’s slamming against my chest, like it’s going to explode any second.

Sliding out of bed I stumble my way to the bathroom. I peel the clothes off my trembling body as I toss them on the floor. Turning the water on as hot as I can stand, I plunge myself under the spray. I scrub myself over and over again until my skin feels raw. The pain’s unbearable as my body slumps to the floor. Then I sit there, sobbing for the little girl who had her childhood snatched away because everyone blamed her for their mistakes, and all she wanted was
to be loved.

Everyone at work has commented on how different I am since Riley moved here. They even told me they would cover for me if I decide to take a few days off so I could spend more time with her. I’ve never played hooky from work since I started this job, but lately I’ve been thinking I should take them up on their offer. If I could take a week off, that might give her enough driving hours for her to get her license. I’ll make sure to talk to her about it next time I see her.

I’m planning something special for her on Friday night. I’m taking her to the club for a nice dinner, then finish it up with a little dirty dancing so I have an excuse to hold her as close to me as possible. Maybe we could end the night in the Jacuzzi before going back to my place.

Having some time to kill before heading for work I decide to go grab a cup of Rosie’s coffee. As I open the kitchen door I can’t help the stupid grin that spreads across my face.

“Hey beautiful, we have to stop meeting like this.” Walking over I pour a cup of coffee before glancing back at her.

Holy Freaking Shit!

She’s sitting at the island with a pair of sweats and the shirt I gave her last night. Her hair’s thrown up in a messy twist on top of her head, but her eyes are rimmed in red and her skin’s all red and raw.

Striding over to her I slip my arms around her waist, leaning my head against hers. “What’s wrong, Riley?” She doesn’t respond so I lift her chin to look into her eyes. They look empty. I’m starting to freak the fuck out!

Running out of the kitchen I scream, “Rosie, Scott, Paul, is anybody home?" I listen for a few seconds but no one answers. Where the hell is everybody…?

When I go back into the kitchen, she’s still sitting there, and she hasn’t budged an inch. Scooping her up in my arms I let her know I’m taking her upstairs so she can stay with me. As I hold her protectively in my arms, I realize that I love this girl, she’s my
forever.

I throw open the door so hard it slams against the wall. Carrying her into my bedroom I lay her on my bed. She instantly curls up into a fetal position. I’m starting to flip out… what the fuck happened between the time I left her last night and now?

I’m hoping Zoe can cover my shift on such a short notice. She picks up on the second ring. “Hey Hunter, you never call this early. What’s up?”

“Zoe I need a big favor—could you cover for me at work today and tomorrow? I went downstairs this morning to find Riley having some kind of breakdown.”

“Sure I can. No worries. What’s up with Riley?”

“I don’t know. She won’t talk to me… she just stares into space. Her eyes look like shit though, like she’s been crying all night. ” When I peek inside the bedroom she’s still in the same position.

“If there’s anything I can do, just let me know. ” We say goodbye as I walk in my room.

Crawling into bed I pull her against my chest so we’re spooning. I wrap my arms around her as I nuzzle her neck. “Please talk to me, baby. Tell me what I can do to make it better. ” We lay like this for what seems like hours; I’m thinking she finally fell asleep she looked so exhausted.

I don’t want to move for fear of waking her up, but I really need to use the restroom. Leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek I whisper softly, “I love you, Riley; you own my heart and soul, forever. ”

Without warning, she suddenly turns around and circles her arms around my waist while sobbing into my chest. My heart aches for her, but I can finally breathe again. Unfortunately, my bladder will have to wait a little while longer.