Because of you (25 page)

“
How is she? What happened to her exactly?” Addison is asking.

“
Slow down. She is stable for now, but she’s not out of danger yet. The paramedics brought her in with severe injuries to the chest. She lost a lot of blood and we almost lost her during the operation, but she’s a fighter and she keeps holding on. The attacker stabbed her in the ribs – a quarter of an inch to the left, and she wouldn’t
have survived.
She was lucky
,
the person who found her
called 911 immediately, otherwise she would have bled out. She already lost a lot of blood before the paramedics arrived, but we were able to replace it. A long road to recovery is ahead of her after the difficult operation she underwent, but the main thing is that she is stable for now.

~ * ~

I sit by her bed, listening to the sounds of the machines that saved Aaliyah’s life. Her eyes are closed, but I am consoled by the fact she is going to wake up soon. Her cheeks have finally regained some of the pretty creamy color and are warm again. I tuck a lock of hair from her forehead behind her ear with my index finger and caress her cheek. I’ve missed her silky soft skin. I already explained the incident with Paris to her three times, hoping she can hear me. When they told me she is going to be alright, it felt like a heavy weight has been lifted off my chest. But my chest is still empty—only her love can fill the void I feel inside.

Chapter 20

Aaliyah

I try to open my heavy
eyelids,
but it’s hard. Trying again, I manage to open them ever so slightly.
A
strong light blinds me, so I quickly
close
them. I feel a weird pain in my chest area and I moan from the pain, trying my hardest to open my eyes. I feel something warm on my hand and I hear a voice.

“
Miss Thomas?” I finally open my eyes, and a woman with brown hair, dressed in a blue uniform, is smiling gently at me. I blink a couple of times to make sure I see correctly. I give her a look full of questions, and before I manage to open my mouth to ask who she is, she introduces herself. “Hello, Miss Thomas, my name is Sarah Moore and I’m your nurse. How are you feeling?” I blink again, confused by her presence.

“
Where am I?” I ask hoarsely.

“
You’re in a hospital. Don’t worry, everything is okay.” The nurse moves to the other side of the room and puts the fold
er, which she was carrying,
on the table.

“
What happened? I feel weird, I have a terrible headache, and my chest hurts.” I lick my dry lips as the nurse moves closer to check the IV that’s hooked to my arm. It’s probably fluids
, to prevent d
ehydration, or pain.

“
Any second now the doctor will come to tell you everything. In the meantime, rest and recover your
strength.
” I close my eyes for what feels like a second, but when I open them again later, nurse Moore and a man, probably the doctor she was telling me about, are standing by my bed and looking through my chart.

“
Where is everybody?” I ask them. “What happened?” My head is completely empty, the last thing I remember
is
working and … Ryder… I sang to him, he cheated on me. Tears glisten in my eyes.

“
It’s okay, you’re going to be alright. My name is Doctor Hobbs, I’m your doctor. You were stabbed and you were really lucky someone witnessed the attack and called 911 immediately, otherwise you would have bled out on the pavement. You lost a lot of blood, but we managed to replace it. You’re going to feel weak for some time but your condition should normalize soon.”

“
Was it Caden?” Holding my breath, I wait for his answer. He nods, and I shake my head. “Did…did they catch him?” I stutter, afraid he’s still out there somewhere, and will try to find me again.

“
Yes, he’s in custody, awaiting trial, you don’t have to worry anymore.” I breathe out in relief, but am still upset because of him.

“
Why does my head hurt so much?”

“
He drugged you, probably so you wouldn’t resist. We gave you something for the pain, so you should feel better soon. The nurse called your friends and they’ll come see you during visiting hours.” I nod and pull the covers higher, I’m cold. “There’s something else,” the doctor starts. I look at him and nod, so he would continue. “During the examination we discovered, I don’t know if you know this yet, but the tests revealed you’re pregnant.”

“
What?” I exclaim in surprise. “How? I mean, I know how, but I don’t know how, since we used protection.” I close my eyes, letting a tear run down my cheek.

The doctor shrugs. “
Not every form of protection is one hundred percent safe, so it’s not that uncommon. I’d estimate you’re about five weeks pregnant, not very long. The
obstetrician
will tell you the rest when you go see him. Congratulations! And now I’ll leave you to rest. I’ll come back tomorrow morning.” I nod and he leaves the room.

How can I be pregnant? We were so careful. What do I do now? What would
Hope do if she was in my place? I know she would keep the baby. How can I take care of the baby, if I can barely make my ends meet every month? I shake my head and put my hand on my head. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I sniff, wiping the last tear that rolls down my face, and press a hand to my belly.
I’m going to be a mom.
A million things run through my head. What I’ll do with college, where I’ll live with the baby, if I’ll still have a job in Mirage, and I’ll have to find a babysitter later on so I’ll be able to work. Oh, I have so many things to do. Worried, I turn to my side and close my eyes.

~ * ~

“Aaliyah?” I’m lying on my side and I feel a soft touch of a hand on my back, so I slowly open my eyes. I turn around and see Addison. She looks worried, but she gives me a smile. “Hi, we missed you. I’m so happy you’re okay, we almost lost you. How are you feeling?”

“
I’ve been better,” I say, a sour smile on my face. I turn my gaze to the other side of the room, and
catch my breath
. Ryder is standing there, watching me with sad eyes. He looks like he’s lost some weight. He comes closer to the bed. I close my eyes and turn away. I don’t want to see him and listen to his excuses. “What is he doing here? I don’t want to see him, tell him to leave,” I demand from Addison to get him out. She bows her head and reaches for my hand.

“
Aaliyah, please…”

“
No,” I interrupt her, “he’s a liar and I don’t want to see him
.” As I say that I
feel like my heart
is being
ripped from my chest. It’s not true
that
I don’t want to see him—I miss him, I constantly think about him—but he hurt me and I can’t forget that, can’t forgive him, at least not yet.

“
Aaliyah,” Ryder says and tries to hold my hand, but I pull
it
away. My reaction causes his lips to form a straight line and he shuts his eyes for a second. “Please, let me explain. I love you, I truly love you, and I miss you so very much. When I heard you’ve been stabbed, I almost lost it. I almost lost you. I can’t live without you.”

“
Huh, you should’ve thought about that before you kissed Paris. And no, you didn’t almost lose me. You lost me entirely—I’m sorry, but I can’t forgive you for cheating on me. Please, leave or I’ll call the security.”

“
No, I don’t want to leave.” He begs me with his sad eyes to forgive him, but the pain is still too raw. Perhaps in time we can become friends, but I need time to heal the wounds – not the ones the knife caused, but the wounds he inflicted. These are much deeper and hurt much more.

“
LEAVE!” I scream and he finally gives up, turns around with a bowed head, but before he leaves the room, I hear his words.

“
I’ll never give up, remember that! I’ll do anything to have you again. I love you and I’ll prove it to you!”

Tears start pouring down my cheeks, and Addison squeezes my hand in comfort. “Why don’t you let him explain? He didn’t cheat on you, he told me what happened, and I believe him. At least listen to what he has to say. Paris is the one you should be angry with, she is the one who cooked this up.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“
You should really let him tell you his side… What!? Did I hear you correctly? You’re pregnant? Oh my God, I’m going to be an auntie!” I nod bitterly and drop my head on my chest. “It’s Ryder’s child, right?” I instantly raise my head and shoot her a sharp look.

“
Yes, of course it is, he’s the only man I ever slept with.”

“
I’m so sorry, I don’t even know why I asked you that. What now?” She pulls the chair to the bed and sits down.

“
I don’t know, I have no idea. I’ll finish this school year, if possible, take the tests I missed, and then I have to find a cheap apartment that I can afford with a child… God, I need to do so many things.” I raise my hands in the air in defeat.

“
Shouldn’t you tell Ryder? After all, he’s the father.”

“
NO!” I shout. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so loud. I don’t want anything from him. I’ll tell him about the baby, but not now.”

“
You’re wrong, believe me—Ryder will take care of you two. He’s a good man and he loves you. He should know.”

~ * ~

After a few weeks in the hospital
and after all the
therapy sessions
, the day finally comes when I
don’t have to see another doctor. I also had my first check-up at my OBGYN. Addison accompanied me last week and I saw my little bean growing inside me. The feelings cannot be described with words. This was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s hard to imagine I’ll be holding a tiny baby in my hands in seven months, fully dependent on me. The happy moment was a little marred by the fact I’ll have to take care of the little one myself.

“
Oh, why did Ryder do this?” I whisper to myself. The skiing trip we were supposed to take was cancelled—well, Addison and Jackson still went, but I didn’t ask them if Ryder went with them. I spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve alone, and truth be told, I liked it
that
way, so I could wallow in my misery. I miss Hope and her advice. I could use some right now, in the situation I’m in. And that
damn m
orning sickness—I don’t know why they call it morning sickness, when I’m sick all day long.

One more hour, and then I can go home. Professor Anderson is lecturing on fundamental legal terms and regulation of family relations, but I only listen with one ear. I’m thinking about my future and how everything will be after I give birth.
Will I even be able to finish college?
Each day, I’m also thinking more and more about Ryder and how to tell him I’m carrying his child.
How will he take the news? Will he be angry? Perhaps, he’ll be happy. What if he’ll accuse me of ruining his career, his life? Well, I can’t ruin his career, we’re not even together. His life will remain exactly the same.
I am torn from my deep thoughts by the noise in the classroom. The other students are already putting away their books, some are already at the exit, and I’m still sitting here like a heap of misery, trying to find a solution for my situation. I quickly grab my books that lay untouched on the desk for the last hour, and head to the door.

“
Aaliyah, wait,” I hear someone call, and when I turn, I see Ryder running toward me. A group of people I don’t recognize is behind him, they probably have the same classes. We haven’t talked since that day in the hospital, I’ve only seen him around a few times. He respects my wish and he’s staying away from me. It’s hard, because he became an important part of my life, and I said those words with such difficulty. But this was the only way to get over him and heal my broken heart. I turn around and slowly continue my way, but he catches up with me.

“
What do you want?” I say quietly.

“
Stop for a second, please.” I obey and I look into his eyes for the first time in weeks. I am surprised to still see pain in his eyes, he is miserable. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and wait for him to continue. “I know you told me to stay away from you, and I did that with a heavy heart. Since you don’t want to hear what I have to say, I wrote you a letter. I want you to read it – that’s all I’m asking. It’s up to you to decide what to do next. I promise to stay away if you want me to, but I truly hope you’ll believe my words.” He raises my hand to his lips, kissing it gently, causing butterflies to erupt in my belly, and he puts an envelope on my palm, turns around and leaves. I brush my fingers over it and put it carefully in my purse, the touch of his lips still lingering on my skin.