Beckoned (The Brazil Werewolf Series) (4 page)

She looked at me tortured, “I-I was afraid,” she whispered, brokenly. She looked down at her hands, twisting them in front of her.

I stared at her for a moment, waiting for her to continue but she didn‘t. I tilted my head and then, sighed.

“Afraid of what?” I prompted.

She took a deep breath and looked steadily into my eyes, “I’m afraid of what you’ll think of yourself,” she said, hoarsely.

I swallowed over the lump in my throat. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, “Why would I think badly of myself?” I asked, biting my bottom lip.

My mother stood and began to pace in front of the table. A few moments passed before she sat down at the table again. I frowned as her pale skin turned a sickly gray as she lowered her head and began to speak.

“I met your father one night as I studied at the library,” my mother said, raising her head but looking away as if too afraid to look me in the eye. She blinked as her voice thickened, “He seemed charming and when the library closed, he offered to walk me home. I thought he wanted to protect me. I thought he was safe but I was wrong. If I had needed protection from anything, it was him,” she blinked again and a tear fell down her cheek as she whispered, “H-He raped me.”

My mouth fell open as my worst fear whispered through my mind, “Was I conceived then?”

My mother nodded and then, looked up into my face, raising her hands as if that could stop the horrible thoughts from entering my mind, “You were but I’ve always loved you,” She lowered her hands and continued, “When I decided to keep you, my parents kicked me out. I’ve never regretted keeping you…even then.”

I frowned as I struggled to keep my stomach from churning. I could taste bile in the back of my throat as I began to cry. Whatever reasons I had come up with for my mother to keep me from my father, this was worse. I was the daughter of a rapist…a rapist who wanted to kidnap me from my mother. Suddenly, a thought whispered through my mind. A thought that revealed something that didn’t make sense.

“How did he find out about me?” I asked as my lips trembled.

She nodded her head as if she had expected the question. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look me in the eye as she spoke.

“After you were born, some people from his family came to stay here. You have always had his eyes and his hair. The people who came to us were his sister and her husband. They noticed how much you looked like him. They went back and told him of you. He came here afterwards. He recognized me and he demanded to see you and I refused,” my mother began to tremble, “He left but he came back. He nearly took you that night as I slept. You were a year old and were able to say Momma which woke me. I screamed for Sophia. Sophia’s husband, Gavriel, stopped him. Emilian told him he would never give up. He would come for you. As a matter of fact, he had already chosen you a husband.”

“Arranged marriage?” I asked, frightened.

“It is a tradition here too,” she said, raising her head to look into my eyes waiting for me to understand the meaning. My eyes widened as I began to understand.

“Who am I supposed to marry?” I asked hoping she would say no one…hoping I had misunderstood.

“Andre,” she said, looking at me with her pleading tortured eyes. My heart dropped as panic seized me. His reason for hating me became clear.

“Momma, he hates me!” I screamed as I grasped both sides of my head in frustration, “And I did not meet him until today! I can‘t believe you did this to me!”

“Your father would do worse and Andre will protect you,” she said, crying fully now.

My heart stopped in my chest as I shook my head rapidly back and forth, “I’m not going to do it.”

“You have to, Aurora,” she said, trembling, “If you don’t, we lose everything.”

I looked at my mother as if she were insane, “What?”

“How do you think I have this motor home or the clothes or the food?” She asked, “I’ve never worked. How do you think we’ve lived? Gavriel and Sophia pay for it because you will be their daughter in law. If you don’t do it, we will be outcast and we’ll lose everything.”

“You’ve sold me,” I said, stifling a sob.

“It’s not like that,” she said, standing and towering over me, “I did it to protect you. Who do you think your father would choose for you? He’s a rapist. His choice would have been worse. With your marriage to Andre, he’ll have no claim.”

Sobs racked my body as I began to think everything over. There was no way out. If I didn’t marry Andre, we would lose everything and my father would keep coming for me. If I did, I married a man who hated me. I was trapped. Even knowing that, I knew my mother had felt just as trapped when she decided on my marriage. That didn’t matter though. I was still so angry with her.

It was a few moments before my sobbing subsided. Slowly, I raised my head to meet my mother’s tortured gaze. I sighed, shakily as I rose to go to my room for a while. At the door, I turned back to my mother.

“I know why you did this, Momma,” I said, softly, “I don’t like it…but I do understand.”

“So you’re going to marry him?” She asked with hope plain in her voice.

I stared at her in shock, “I don’t see where I have a choice,” I said, feeling angry again.

My mother nodded her head, “I hope you see where I didn’t either.”

“I see where you didn‘t
think
you did and I‘ll forgive you for that,” I said, turning, “But for now, I want to be alone so I can say good-bye to
my
dreams of having a husband that will love me. You‘ve taken that away from me.”

My mother nodded her head and her sobs sounded through the motor home long after I laid down on my bed. I stared up at my ceiling angrily. I was an eighteen year old girl who had never even been kissed but was expected to marry a complete stranger that hated me. How could my life get any worse?

Chapter Three

Betrothed

I laid in my bed for hours, staring at the ceiling of my room. My brain kept going over everything my mother had said. Tears fell from my eyes, traveling back into my hair. I felt hopeless as I closed my my eyes willing numbness to settle into me so I could feel nothing…no fear…no sadness…no anger. Still, a feeling of doom had fallen upon me and I could not shake it.

Every now and then, I would open my eyes hoping I would awaken from a bad dream but I never did. I only faced reality…my mother had given me to marry a man who hated me and my father…a rapist…had his own groom chosen for me. Neither was a reality I wanted to face and I finally forced it from my mind and fell into a deep and thankfully, dreamless sleep.

I don’t know how long I slept but I knew that I slept sound. Only my name from Sophia’s already familiar voice pulled me from the comforting darkness. Even before I opened my eyes, I could sense the touch of her hand gently sweeping my hair from my forehead. It was a strange thing to do for someone who was nearly a stranger but in that act, I felt something akin to love. It made me feel safe. It made me feel protected.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked up into her smiling face as she sat on the edge of my bed. I smiled back at her shyly forgetting everything that had happened. The thought hit me only a moment later and I frowned realizing that I should be angry and not only at my mother but at Sophia and her husband too. After all, my mother may have sold me but Sophia and her husband had been the buyers.

Still, as I looked up at her, I couldn’t force myself to give her the same amount of anger that I had given my mother. I knew that my feelings didn’t make sense but oddly, I couldn’t make that matter.

I studied her feeling even calmer. Perhaps, it was the look on her face that calmed me. It was one of so much peace that it reached out and touched my soul. It pushed away my anger and instead of yelling at her, I sat up, looking at her passively as she rested the hand she had been caressing my forehead with in her lap and silently studied me. Finally, a sigh parted her full lips.

“You shouldn’t be so angry with Fiona,” she said, smiling sadly, “She did what she thought was best.”

I tilted my head as I looked at her. She hadn’t taken up for her actions. She had only defended my mother. It was almost honorable and I found that the act caused me to tell her the truth, “How can I not be angry when I‘ve been sold by my mother and bought by you and your husband?” I whispered, narrowing my eyes, “It’s not fair to me or Andre.”

She laughed then, filling my small room with its rich, sultry depth. My mouth dropped open but she patted my cheek gently, “You remind me so much of myself as a girl,” She shook her head and then, smiled at me apologetically, “I don’t mean to laugh but I thought the same of my mother and father and also Gavriel‘s parents. Only later, did I realize my marriage to Gavriel was the best thing that had happened to me. We have made it through some…horrible things. Because of that, I love him so much and he returns so much love to me.. There is nothing greater.”

I lowered my head, knowing my marriage would never contain that type of love, “Your son hates me.”

Sophia surprised me by laughing again. Her whole body shook with it as she began to shake her head vigorously, “He doesn’t hate you,” she said as if I were being ridiculous and then, shrugged, “Andre only hates that we left him no choice. He’ll come around.”

“What if he doesn’t?” I asked, frowning, “What if I can’t love him?”

She shrugged as if unafraid of the possibility and then, gave me a brilliant smile, “I have faith that won’t happen. It has never happened before. Only love has happened,” she said, raising her brows. Silence stretched for a few moments but then, Sophia smiled even wider than before and changed the subject with a quick wave of her hand, “But I didn’t come here to talk to you about this. I came by here for another reason.”

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously as she rose from my bed, “And what is that?” I asked, frowning as she shifted uncomfortably. She bit her bottom lip and then, sighed.

“Your engagement party is tonight,” she said, rocking back and forth in place. I opened my mouth to object but she continued before I could say anything, “I know it is very soon after being told of your engagement but when I planned it, I had thought that your mother had informed you and the truth is that I simply can’t cancel it now.”

“A party?” I asked, distressed. This gathering would make everything real. Sophia patted my shoulder sympathetically. I looked at her distressed.

“It’s better to announce the engagement now,” she said, rising from my bed and smiled reassuringly, “Besides, it’s just a bonfire. It’s tradition.”

I nearly rolled my eyes. I had just about had enough of their traditions but I found myself nodding my head. I was beginning to wonder if I had any control over my actions anymore. I didn’t seem to.

“Good,” Sophia said, patting my hand.

I lowered my head and she reached forward and tilted my face back up with the tips of her fingers under my chin. My eyes met hers, “Don’t ever look down,” she said, firmly but her smile stayed in place, “Be proud of who you are.”

I forced a smile and she kissed my forhead before walking to my bedroom door. She turned back to me, “I will see you tonight.”

I nodded my head again and she disappeared. My heart trembled as I realized I was going to be forced to marry Andre and he would be forced to marry me no matter what we did or how we felt about one another. I did not share Sophia’s faith that we would find love for each other. When I thought of Andre, I only seen his anger and hate filled eyes. I didn’t believe his feelings for me would change and I wasn’t even sure I could like him. I sighed with the thought as a tear fell down my cheek because I knew reguardless of how either of us felt, there was no way to stop our marriage from taking place. Whether we liked it or not, we were bound to each other forever.

**********

I should have been trembling in fear or running away but instead, I walked quietly next to my mother toward the bonfire where my engagement would be announced. Though I appeared calm, I was hurt and afraid. Worse, I dreaded meeting with Andre again. Would he still be angry with me? The thought nearly caused me to tremble but I pushed it away before it could cause the panic to rise. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly knowing I could not break down…I had to stay strong.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then, slowly, opened them, focusing on what was happening around me. I heard laughter and music and people conversing with one another. It all sounded so jovial and I wondered how people could celebrate when I felt so horrible.

“Aurora, are you okay?” My mother asked almost timidly. My mouth dropped open as I turned to her. How could she ask that question when she knew the answer? I shook my head, feeling more angry than I ever had.

“Yes, Momma,” I said, narrowing my eyes as I continued sarcastically, “I’m okay. After all, you forcing me to marry a man who I don’t even know should certainly earn you an award for mother of the year.”

My mother’s mouth opened in an o of surprise. I usually did not give in to sarcasm but I suppose a forced marriage would make any teenager bratty.

“Aurora, you know that I had no choice,” she whispered to me as we neared the people who circled the bonfire. Then, she shrugged as if it didn‘t matter, “Besides, it’s tradition.”

I shook my head. She had spoken as if her words explained everything when they didn‘t. Tradition had not even been spoken of until we moved to Timbly Mountain and my experience with it had been less than pleasant.

“Maybe I don’t want to go by our families traditions,” I said, frowning. My mother looked at me panicked and I raised my hands to prevent an argument, “It doesn’t mean that I won’t. So, don’t worry mother, you won’t lose anything.”

My mother opened her mouth to defend herself but Sophia‘s voice rang through the air, interrupting her. I turned toward her voice, not wanting to look into my mother‘s guilty face.