Becoming A Slave (3 page)

& slave 2002 and husband and wife), Goddess Lakshimi (Professional Dominatrix with a 24/7 slave and Ms World Leather 2004), and Master Lawrence & slave Ernest (a Gay couple).

I would also like to acknowledge and thank those who were kind enough to read this manuscript in its early form and offer suggestions and corrections: TammyJo Eckhart, Joanne Gaddy, Phil Ross, and slaves Patrick, Marsha, and Slavette.

As I end this introduction, I strongly urge you to do the “After Reading Activities.” This book is meant to help you on your journey

-- if you are only talking and not walking, you’l never arrive there. The 9

plan of the activities is to help you to reflect on the readings so that you have a better understanding of what you want.

When you do the exercises you wil be actual y creating a journal with three purposes: first it wil have samples of letters, questions, and answers that you wil want to have handy for your prospective master.

Doing so wil be a good way to both show your seriousness and give a springboard to discussion. Secondly you wil have done your homework, having created a personal ad and a petition. Thirdly you wil have a personalized guide with questions and answers for your interviews.

Finding a master is a journey. Good luck and as we sang in my childhood, “Happy trails to you.”

Patrick Reflects: First Thoughts

Being
a slave has a lot to do with feeling. It
feels
good to serve. There is general contentment in being where you belong and a satisfaction at being bold enough to al ow yourself to achieve it.

Physical contact with the one you serve is joyous and the attention you are shown causes you to beam with further joy. An intimate little world develops and you can explore each other in ways you never imagined and in ways others can’t conceive.

Those feelings are not fleeting, as they are when you are caught up in the fantasy of slavery, when certainty lasts only until orgasm. The feelings I refer to remain and build upon each other, growing stronger and more secure with the passage of time. When a Master/slave relationship is successful these feelings are ongoing and a bond is created with your Master that transcends the chain that might be around your neck or the contract that you might have signed.

That’s what it feels like to be a slave, and you can’t feel that way wishing for it or fantasizing about it. And I’m sorry, folks, you can’t experience it online. You have to
become
a slave to experience such feelings and that’s what this book is about, a guide to finding your way to fulfil ment through voluntary servitude.

The first thing you wil have to do is overcome your fear. Even if you’ve wanted it al of your life, when the moment of truth is at hand, part of you resists. Fear grabs hold of your logic and manufactures reasons and excuses for why you can’t fol ow your desires just quite yet. Shame can enter into it as wel . We’re talking about erotic submission and both of those words are counter to what we are taught is appropriate. This resistance to our desires occurs time and time again, sometimes for years. And when you do begin to make positive steps to pursue your desire the resistance can even get stronger. This exchange between desire and fear continue until the desire and longing to be who you real y are can no longer be held back, and you conquer your fear and 10

take those first real steps.

This first real step I refer to is different for everyone but you know it has happened by the way your determination moves you in a purposeful way. It may not be the step that transforms your life instantly, but a first step can always be fol owed by more steps.

That first real step
feels
wonderful. There is a certainty in knowing you are headed to where you belong. Others won’t understand it but they can’t be expected to, they aren’t on such a path. It feels right even in the midst of not knowing precisely what’s ahead.

But the journey to becoming a slave, no matter how “right” and

“natural” it feels, isn’t easy or instantaneous. Like the young wolf that Jack London wrote of in “White Fang” there wil be resistance even in the midst of growing certainty that this is what is right for you.

It came hard, going as it did, counter to much that was strong and dominant in his own nature; and, while he disliked it in the learning of it, unknown to himself he was learning to like it. It was a placing of his destiny in another’s hands, a shifting of the responsibilities of existence. This in itself was compensation, for it is always easier to lean upon another than to stand alone….But it did not al happen in a day, this giving over of himself, body and soul, to the man-animals.36

A true slave never loses their strength or dominance. Erotic slavery isn’t about being beaten into submission. Quite the contrary, you retain those good parts of yourself and turn them to helping you serve your Master, and that’s when the journey becomes exciting and fulfil ing. Your strength and dominance become tools that help you serve better.

Commitment to this path is a weighty thing, however. When fear takes hold and causes panic at the thought of continuing, the easy way out is to run and deny yourself. If slavery is indeed your destiny such fears wil subside and eventual y your thoughts wil return to what you real y want and you wil continue your journey.

There is another feeling that is important to talk about at this point in our discussion: loneliness. In our society you can be in the midst of a crowd and stil be overwhelmed by loneliness. You can be surrounded by a loving family and friends and stil feel alone because you don’t believe they real y understand who you are. Loneliness can come about as a result of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities or dissatisfaction with life or by forcing yourself to live up to someone 36

London, Jack,
The Call of the Wild, White Fang, & To Build a Fire
, Random House, New York, 1998, p. 148

11

else’s expectations. I think many people want to become a slave simply because they want someone to love them, to cherish them for who they are.

Whatever the form of loneliness, becoming a slave is not the ultimate solution, an il usion…giving up al control and responsibility and hiding from the outside world, being taken down to your raw self and remade into whatever wil make you be valued, this isn’t slavery.

You first need to face whatever it is that is causing your loneliness and conquer it, coming out of the experience a more confident person and better able to discern if slavery is to be a part of your future.

Books on slavery are often written by Masters and while they certainly have a clear understanding about what slavery involves, that understanding is based on an opposing perspective… that of dominance, i.e., that of having a slave and of being served. Slaves qualified to write about on the subject are busy serving their Masters and would rather do so than spend writing about HOW they serve. So the task is usual y left to the Masters and so many important nuances are left out.

When my master Jack Rinel a ( who did live five years as a slave to Master Lynn) decided to write a book on becoming a slave he encouraged me to consider making some contributions to it in the form of reflections for each chapter. Sometimes these are based on the general topic of the chapter, sometimes on a specific idea in a chapter, and sometimes my comments were only prompted by memories of how that topic has played out in my own relationship. But al of them are insights I offer out of my own experience and observations. I hope you wil respect them as such and use them on your journey if they are helpful.

Becoming a Slave: The Theory and Practice of Voluntary
Servitude,
wil be a good companion to your journey. Use it to help you understand the many feelings this journey wil bring.

After Reading Activities

Get yourself a loose-leaf notebook or start a word processing document in which you wil keep a journal. Use the notebook to write about your first contact with the idea of slavery. Was it in a book? A movie? A friend? How did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it now? Why do you find it attractive? Why are you reading this book?

Why do you want to be a slave? These questions can lead to greater understanding of yourself and give you some answers for those master applicants wise enough to ask them of you

What myths and assumptions about slavery do you think you have that might not be based on reality? Can you describe your greatest 12

obstacle to finding a dominant partner? What assets do you think you bring to such a relationship?

If you meet regularly with like-minded friends, you might want to bring this book to a meeting and share a paragraph or two from this chapter. How do others react to the questions above?

13

Copies of

Becoming a slave

may be ordered at

http://www.leatherviews.com

14

1.

A Complementary Relationship

In trying to speak in generalities, I know I am going to run
headlong into the exceptions, with the inevitable result
of someone pointing out an example that doesn’t fit. As
I’ve noted before, human beings are far too variable to
be classified into watertight compartments.26

When it comes to M/s relationships, appearances can be most deceiving, probably because most people view this relationship through eyes (and with a mind) tainted by the myths of fiction. To the unknowing our lifestyle appears unequal, unfair, and unlivable. In fact, successful M/s relationships are based upon mutual support and the benefits that each partner receives from being in the relationship. Without mutual gratification, this relationship, as any other, wil quickly sour and end, at least as a satisfying relationship, if not in reality.

We can also look at this by thinking of our “bottom line.”27 What must you have in a relationship in order to be fulfil ed? This question also addresses limits and wil be discussed in greater depth as the book develops.

Mutuality isn’t the same as equality, so the partners’ support of one another may be expressed differently but mutual y. The differences between the partners’ roles are complementary so that each gives to the other in such a way that each is empowered by and satisfied in those roles. It is important to point out that the word “mutual” means

“Having the same relationship each to the other; Directed and received in equal amount.” Therefore in the context of this discussion there can be no such thing as a master/slave relationship in which one partner gives or takes “more” than the other. One can only give as much as the other is wil ing to receive. One cannot be more of a master, for instance, unless the partner is wil ing to become more of a slave.

Your search for a partner is actually the search for your complement, that special person whose temperament and vision for their future fits with yours. The characteristic of “fitness” is what al ows the relationship to work. It is also the reason that finding one’s partner is so difficult. You both must fit, and fitting involves a wide spectrum of characteristics, be they physical, intel ectual, social, economic or 26

Townsend, Larry,
The Leatherman’s Handbook,
The Traveller’s Companion, Inc., New York, 1972.

27

Thanks to Slavette for this addition.

15

fantastic, meaning that your fantasies are complementary as wel .

I h o p e i t ’ s o b v i o u s t h a t f a n t a s y p l a y s an important part in one’s desire to become a slave. For that reason I cal ed one of the characteristics listed above “fantastic.” Fantasy by itself is very often ultimately unattainable. Nevertheless when viewed as part of our imagination, it feeds our creativity, providing gist for a vision toward which we can work and by doing so eventual y arrive at a transformation of some part of that fantasy into reality.

In fact, the purpose of this book is to facilitate transformation, that is “an act or instant of transforming.” To transform is “to change markedly the form or appearance of; to change the nature, function, or condition of.” In short, this is a book about change.

Change is probably the most necessary condition one must embrace in order to create a master/slave relationship. Change, too, is always with us, the natural state of human existence. Every minute of our lives we age, and therefore we change. More specifical y we must start with the question of “How do I have to change to be what I want to become?” How wil you be different when you are a slave? What actions and decisions wil in fact transform you from who you are now to what you seek to become?

Over the more than twenty years that I have been seeking slaves I have seen innumerable instances where resistance to change has been the strongest obstacle to realizing the applicant’s goal. This resistance is most often manifest not in speech but in action, or perhaps it might be better said that it is manifest in inaction.

How many readers, I wonder, skipped over the “After Reading Activities” at the end of the introduction? Reading about becoming a slave wil not train you to be a slave. You must embrace the transformational process by action. Let me state again that “real slavery and true service are manifest in behavioral outcomes.” If you are wil ing to be trained as a slave, you must be wil ing to change your actions so that they reflect slavery. You must divest yourself of those things which keep you from your stated goal and acquire those skil s and artifacts that wil al ow you to act as a slave.

In most cases, this is not as serious a step as your fear and doubt would have you believe. We are talking about smal , reasonable steps at every step of the journey. Much of this book, in fact, is about those steps. The task is to make yourself ready, prepared for the future about which you now dream.

An important step in creating a successful M/s relationship is to find that part of your fantasy which can be created and to acknowledge that which wil never become real, shedding it in some measure from your vision, if not your dream life. For that reason one’s search, though 16