Becoming (24 page)

Gabriel.

Even in this extremely foreign state, she
thought of him. As she spun through the energy suspended in the
Earth’s sky, almost like a single sock in a dryer, her thoughts
turned again and again to him.

Eventually, she sensed that she was getting
closer to her destination. Her thoughts grew a bit clearer. She
remembered some of the details of the human life she left behind.
Slowly, the memories fell back into place, one behind another, like
slides in a projector. They fell one after another within her
thoughts until it felt like her life was an animated film, ticking
along from one frame to the next until it all became a cohesive
story.

The flickering of the memories continued
until they flashed to the last frame. She stood with her hand in
Gabriel’s, her last coherent thought focusing on her love for
him.

And then she was
aware
.

She didn’t open her eyes immediately.
Although her consciousness became aware of the fact that she had
successfully made the transition between the planes, she wanted
time to orient herself before she faced this new reality.

The air was a bit stale, as though there
hadn’t been a fresh breeze through in quite some time. There was an
odor in the air that told her she wasn’t alone. It wasn’t ominous,
but it was definitely unfamiliar.

That’s to be expected
, she thought,
and tried not to focus on the fact that the scent in the air was
definitely not Gabriel’s.

There wasn’t a lot of movement around her. In
fact, it seemed unnaturally still. In contradiction to the harsh
starkness she sensed in the air, however, she felt a distinct
softness beneath her body, as if she lay on an expensive mattress
in some five-star hotel. There was an almost sinfully soft fabric
against her skin, but she knew that it wasn’t the same garb she had
left behind on the human plane. After all, Ini-herit had warned
them that they wouldn’t bring anything with them to the Estilorian
plane.

So why did she still sense the ring on her
finger?

With this at the forefront of her awakening
Estilorian mind, she opened herself even more to her new
awareness.

There wasn’t much sound where she lay, she
could tell that much. Not a whisper of a voice. Not a strong breeze
or even an animal making itself known. She thought that was very
odd when she had initially sensed the presence of a number of other
living beings around her. She detected a kind of steady
reverberation some distance away. Maybe a dripping noise. But she
had to acknowledge to herself that she could be interpreting the
sounds on this plane incorrectly by comparing them to what she was
used to on the human plane.

Still, she reasoned as she fully released her
link to the human plane and settled with a nearly palpable thud
into her Estilorian form, Gabriel would help her figure it all out.
She was sure of it.

Slowly, her eyes opened. The area she was in
was dim, as if underground. She took a deep breath.

And then the air around her finally stirred.
The beings she had sensed suddenly moved, turning to gaze at her as
if they sensed her awakening.

It was then that she realized that there were
no less than twenty pairs of eyes staring down at her…and not one
of them was familiar.

For Olivia, the transition was turbulent. Not
painful, but not smooth, either.

The part of her mind that had held such
strong aptitude for science and math and logic for eighteen years
suddenly warred with this new side of her being that relied on
absolutely none of those things.

She had been given such a brief amount of
time to come to some kind of terms with this part of herself. Jean
had tried to teach her from the time she was old enough about
things that weren’t necessarily tangible. But for Olivia, if it
couldn’t be measured, weighed or proven with mathematical theorems,
then she couldn’t fathom how it could be real.

Until she had her first surge of power.

Even then, until Ini-herit had arrived and
demonstrated to her in no uncertain terms that there was far more
to Olivia’s world than human math and science had led her to
believe, she had been comfortable chalking up her power surge to a
medical issue. As ridiculous as it was, Olivia knew she would have
reacted more rationally to a brain cancer diagnosis than to the
news that Ini-herit imparted at their first meeting.

All through their travels to Alaska, Olivia
questioned her sanity. Jean served as a calm point of reassurance
to her, as did Aurora. In fact, it was her unexplainable mental
connection with the cat that had ultimately convinced Olivia of the
truth.

And then, after meeting Skye and Amber, she
had even more fully realized the legitimacy of her abilities.
Actually, if it hadn’t been for their displays of power leading up
to the clearing, Olivia wondered if her mind would have survived
the transition. For as it was, the resistance of her human self to
the experience was causing her to feel as though she might burst
apart into a million pieces of disconnected energy.

Her fear rose as the sensation of being
pulled in two very different directions grew stronger. Light and
color roared around her in a vortex of energy. She became
disoriented. Her human thoughts grew fragmented…confused. Where did
she need to go? What was she doing here?

This way, Olaya.

Through the tangle of her thoughts, she heard
the voice. No louder than a whisper, but still compelling. The
speaker used her Estilorian name and sounded male, but it wasn’t
Ini-herit.

Follow my voice.

He’s so calm
, she thought. Her
heartbeat slowed. The energy around her also seemed to slow. Change
its motion. Now, instead of slashing around her in a distorted
storm, the energy started flowing in one direction. Toward the
voice.

Very good. This way.

She hadn’t expected to be so cognizant of
every part of the transition. And yet, it now made sense to her
that she would want to analyze every part of this experience.
Letting go and leaving something up to the course of Fate wasn’t in
her nature. She needed to know, to experience and learn from
everything around her.

But she realized that didn’t mean that she
couldn’t do this. She would just have to do it on her own
terms.

Focusing as clearly as she could, she moved
in the direction that the energy flowed. It seemed to pick up speed
the more that she concentrated on her goal.

Excellent. This way. You are nearly
here.

The unknown male’s encouragement propelled
her. She could do this, she realized with gathering excitement. She
didn’t have to abandon the way that she thought as a human, she
just had to pull that part of her over to the other plane.

That realization brought a giddying sense of
relief to her, loosening her grip on rationality just long enough
that she felt her energy somehow being gently but purposefully
gathered up and pulled the rest of the way.

And the next thing she knew, she was still.
No more swirls of energy. No more confusion or disorientation. Now,
clarity. She felt herself lying on her left side on a firm surface.
A temperate, fresh-scented breeze drifted over her, touching her
head, arms and shoulders but not the rest of her, making her
realize she was covered by something. She sensed a large and warm
presence close to her face. Beyond her eyelids was light and
awareness, but she was hesitant to open them.

Wake up, Olivia.

This voice was female and husky. And
familiar.

Aurora.

Before Olivia could open her eyes to greet
her feline friend, she felt an impossibly large, rough tongue rub
against her cheek.

Then her eyes flew open. Looking back at her
only inches from her face was a large, white panther—and wasn’t
that something?—with absolutely beautiful green eyes.

But how…?
she wondered in
amazement.

The cat issued a mental chuckle.
Ini-herit
said that our forms would be different on this plane. Looks like he
was right.

Transitioning was an experience that Skye had
anticipated with eagerness for nearly her entire life. Unlike her
sisters, she had long known about and embraced the fact that she
was something more than human. Even though the specifics about her
nature were a mystery to most of her friends and adoptive family
members, it had set her apart from them.

It had made her special.

But she had not anticipated the strength and
control needed to wield the latent power within her. And when it
had unexpectedly surfaced, it had overwhelmed her.

She would never in her life, regardless of
her form, forget the suffering she had caused Gabriel. When they
were in the forest, he had deliberately hung back in order to
protect her from the wolves. That was instinctive for him. She knew
that even after only spending a few hours with him. He would have
died trying to save her.

And she had repaid him by refusing to help
him get to Amber after she had accidentally yanked him from the
ground with her burgeoning power. She refused even when her
sister’s scream sounded around them and they had both known she
needed help. Skye’s fear had simply seized her. Even the utter
devastation she had read on Gabriel’s face and in his voice as he
cried out for Amber hadn’t given her the courage she needed to help
him.

No. Only her fear for her own life when
Gabriel had pulled her from the tree had prompted her to find it
within herself to use her power. And she would have to live with
that dark, horrible truth about herself for the rest of her
life.

So it was with hope that she could learn from
her terrible mistake that she joined hands with her sisters,
Gabriel and Ini-herit and welcomed the transition. For her, this
experience was now about more than just transitioning between
planes. It was about learning how to control her power and, most
importantly, how to stop being the kind of person who could turn
away from someone in need just because she was afraid.

She knew the moment Ini-herit made the
connection with the Estilorian plane. To her, it was like a direct
path of energy opened before her, leading the way. Her Estilorian
self all but leaped onto the path. She chose to enjoy the moment
that she had awaited for so long, welcoming the surge of energy
that drew her along, doing the equivalent of cartwheels and dancing
leaps as she traveled. Although she had no sense of time, it seemed
all too soon she had reached her destination. And because she was
so receptive to the transition, she had no ability to prolong
it.

She opened her eyes in her Estilorian form,
instantly aware. Directly in front of her floated a silvery,
sparkly image. She recognized the figure instantly as that of Sky
Tomaganuk, the tribal elder whose passing on the human plane had
occurred shortly before her arrival there.

Welcome, Skylar.

The thought was far clearer in her mind than
it had ever been on the human plane. His face was kind, lined with
age and framed by long, flowing hair. Although he was indistinct
and colorless, she noticed his eyes were light blue.

Do not focus your energy on negative
thoughts
, he chided, obviously sensing the shame that flooded
her.

But I have dishonored myself and our
people,
Qel'a
.

No, Skylar. You would dishonor yourself if
you did not recognize your failings and work to correct them. You
have been granted forgiveness by those you wronged. Now you must
forgive yourself.

When I’ve earned it
, she vowed, and
watched the image nod approvingly, shimmer and disappear from her
vision. She still sensed him with her, though, and found it
comforting.

The weight that had settled on her chest in
the forest suddenly felt much lighter…more bearable. As the last
shimmering vestiges of her guardian vanished, she tried to get a
better sense of her surroundings. Hesitantly, she lifted just her
head to look around. She realized she was lying on some kind of
solid cloud. It looked to her like it was nothing but mist, yet she
was on top of it and floating.

So cool
, she thought, her eyes
widening.

The blanket covering her didn’t feel like any
material she had ever known. It was thin and seemed to change color
as the surrounding light hit it.

“She is aware,” she heard, and turned her
head quickly to her left.

Her eyes fell on the being who had spoken.
Well…wow
, was all she could think.

According to Ini-herit, Gabriel had
transitioned between the planes at least once before. Knowing that
didn’t make the process any less mystifying for him in his current
form than it was for Amber and her sisters. In fact, he could admit
a good amount of trepidation about the whole thing. After all, he
had been given no assurances by Ini-herit. What if he got to the
Estilorian plane and became a living vegetable?

Stranger things had surely happened.

But he hadn’t been lying to Amber when he
said that he believed they would be together on the other side.
Their connection was so substantial to him that it felt like a
vital part of his biology now. It was simply inconceivable that he
wouldn’t know her, regardless of their forms.

Still, his human nature couldn’t help but
voice doubts, and he had to forcefully push them aside as he felt
the flow of energy between the planes open up. His last conscious
human thought was of Amber.

Then his foothold on the reality he knew
shifted right out from under him. He zipped rapidly along the
swirling energy current, unable to catch a single, straightforward
thought. Then came a disorienting, dizzying, tumbling sensation
like falling head over heels again and again. Around him sounded a
million faint voices clamoring at him, seemingly trying to pass
along messages. But he couldn’t quite hear them, and none of them
made any sense. Confusion overtook him.