Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series) (20 page)

“Whatcha got there?” Cris walked back in the office.

“Good, you’re back. I have something.” Ash walked to her desk, grabbed a highlighter from the drawer, and quickly marked the five names. She laid the sheets of paper on Cris desk in front of him. “What do you see?”

Cris looked at the highlighted names for several seconds. “She’s using Rachel Collins’ family’s names as her own?” Cris frowned. “Why?”

Ash shrugged. “I don’t know, but maybe this is about some family conflict dating back generations.”

“But why would that lead to Garrett being murdered? Wouldn’t she kill Rachel?” Cris asked.

“And what about Rachel? Is she named after this woman on the ledger?” Ash’s train of thought got very questionable as she considered this. Part of her thought the woman on the camp ledger was probably some distant aunt or grandmother Rachel was named after, but the more diabolical, suspicious part of Ash’s mind, considered the possibility they were one and the same.

“Has to be.” Cris scoffed. ‘Otherwise, the Rachel livin
’ and lovin’ with Sara Glass would be like ninety.”

Ash nodded.
She knew Cris was right, and if Rachel should have been ninety then Ela would have to be at least that old too. Clearly the woman she had met was nowhere near that old. “I’m going to find out more about the Collins and see who Ela B was.”

Cris nodded. “Agreed. Maybe Garrett’s death was just a poke at Rachel, something to complicate her life before ending it.”

“Should we warn her?” Ash hadn’t considered the danger to Rachel until Cris mentioned it.

“I’ll give her a call, maybe she can shed some light on this.” Cris said.

Ash felt relieved. Even if nothing came of this, which she thought very unlikely, they were finally moving the case forward. Now, she just needed to go break up with a perfectly good woman so she could continue to pine for a complicated, unavailable one.

***

“Is this because of Emma?” Lara asked as she took a drink of her frozen margarita.

Ash shook her head. “No. Emma and I are friends. This is because I’m not ready to take the next step and you are.” She was being a bit of a coward n
ot owning up to the fact it was, in part, about Emma. She and the doctor had lunch earlier that day. The conversation and her company was easy and left Ash feeling almost euphoric.

She
didn’t think she owed Lara all the details though. Maybe if they had been dating longer, or exclusively, she would feel differently. The fact they hadn’t even slept together pushed Ash into the fewer details the better category.

“I don’t believe you.” Lara’s tone was sharp and accusatory.

Ash was taken aback. She had never heard Lara sound so angry. “Lara, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than bad timing and missed connections.”

Lara put the icy beverage down, and leaned back in her chair. Her light eyes
were still as she glared at Ash. “I saw how you looked at her in the hospital. And the way she looked at you, the two of you practically reeked of it. It was disgusting.” Lara’s words were laced with venom.

Ash tilted her head back in shock. “Whoa. Let’s back this up a minute. First, there was barely a you and I. Second, I don’t owe you anything more than this-isn’t-working-for-me.” Ash reached in her bag to get her wallet out. As far as she was concerned the conversation, along with the relationship, was over.

“She’s going to be livid.” Lara muttered, cracking her knuckles one at a time as she stared at her margarita.

Ash hesitated and looked up at Lara. Her face had taken on a scowl. It made her usually beautiful features seem slightly wicked. “Who’s going to be livid?” She wasn’t sure why she asked. The conversation was already tense, but
the comment was cryptic and piqued Ash’s curiosity.

Lara glanced up at Ash
swiftly, and then just as quickly, went back to staring at her drink. “Nothing. I hope you and Emma are very happy together.”

Lara’s insistence in making this about Emma
was irritating Ash. “You don’t know anything about it, or her.” The sharpness in her own voice surprised Ash as she pushed back from the table.

Lara laughed. “I
know her better than you do.” Her voice went up several octaves as she practically sang the words.

Ash had started to stand
, having tossed two twenty dollar bills on the table, but then stopped as a shiver ran down her spine. “What?”

Lara shrugged. “
Nothing. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy.” Lara picked the margarita up and took another drink. “Ecstatic no doubt - happily
forever
after.”

Ash shook her head. The woman was mental, and Ash’s decision to cut their
acquaintanceship short was being validated by the second. “Cryptic, Lara. Clever. Piss off.” Ash pushed her chair back and quickly exited the restaurant.

Walking to her car
, Ash felt like she could breathe again.
What the fuck was that?
She had dated women who didn’t handle breakups well in the past, but she had never seen a complete shift in personality before.

Lara
, on the other hand, had become this uncomfortable combination of hysterical and conniving all at once. Ash got in her Jeep, and immediately locked the doors.

She hit the call button on her phone,
and a few seconds later Alan’s voice filled the interior of her Jeep. “Good evening, friend.”

“Nothing good about it
, Al.” Ash put the Jeep in reverse.

“What’s wrong?”

“So I decided to grow a pair and end it with Lara. To the point you made last week, I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“Does this mean the good doctor is now in the picture?” Alan practically
squealed with delight.

“
Maybe - well not really.” Ash chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That’s not the point. The point is Lara just went all Joan Crawford and Maleficent on me. So when you see your client again, you may mention to her that her friend is a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs.”

“Boo
. I haven’t seen Ana in a while actually. Which is odd since her order arrived nearly a week ago.” Alan was obviously unfazed by Ash’s revelation.

“Well
, pass it on.” Ash repeated. “I have to go, we’ll chat later.”

“Go get her
, tiger.” Alan growled.

Ash couldn’t help but laugh. “Settle down
, boy, and don’t get your hopes up for me and the doctor.”

“
Too late. Hope is sky high. Bye.” The Jeep went silent.

Ash accelerated as she merged onto the expressway. Strangeness aside, she was glad she had the conversation with Lara. It didn’t change anything between her and Emma, but it did free her from any guilt over being with Lara while having feelings for Emma.

She turned the satellite radio on and laughed when Alanis Morissette’s
You Oughta Know
came over the speakers. “That’s subtle.” Ash changed the channel.

The first line of Josh Ritter’s
Kathleen
echoed through the cabin.
All the other girls here are stars, you are the Northern Lights
. Ash had heard the song a hundred times, but now she thought of Emma. Her knee jerk reaction was to feel silly and sappy, but pushing past that, Ash felt the comparison was accurate.

She could feel the gradual
dismantling of her carefully constructed denials. For better or worse, she was unable to resist her attraction to Emma anymore.  More importantly, she was rapidly losing the will to try.

***

Ash stood on the sideline of a sprawling green soccer field. The sky was overcast and a slight breeze coming from the north made her question her choice to wear shorts for Aiden’s game. The STAR Soccer Complex was located in a former quarry near the northeast corner of San Antonio, and maintained thirteen full size soccer fields. At Ash’s instruction, Aiden and ten of his team mates were running wind sprints at midfield to warm-up before their game.

Ash cupped her hands around her mouth, and y
elled to the team. “Okay, everyone grab a ball, and let’s do figure eights.” She watched as the eight, nine and ten year olds scampered around after the loose balls. The Coyotes were clad in black Umbro shorts that nearly came down to meet the long gray socks each child wore. Their jerseys we gray with black script lettering, and each child’s last name was embossed on the back above their number.

Aiden ran toward Ash, leaving his ball in the middle of the field. “Aunt Ash, I have to go to the restroom.”

Ash nodded. “Where’s your mom or dad?” Ash looked around the field for Amy and Michael. “Get one of them to go with you.” Ash watched as her nephew ran toward his parents, and then grabbed Michael by the hand, pulling him toward the brick building that housed the restrooms.

Ash turned her attention back to the team, and made her way to the center of the field. “Okay guys, huddle up.” She waited for the team to gather. Two of the boys were dawdling near one of the balls at midfield. “Keith, Cory, come over here.”

Ash loved coaching. She never wanted children of her own, but she enjoyed working with the kids, and watching their skills and personalities grow the longer that they played. It helped that the league was organized so a child could conceivably be on the same team for up to three seasons.

“The game starts in about ten minutes. Anyone else need to use the restroom?” She scanned their faces. “Rebecca, you have the look.”

A small brown haired girl in pigtails bit at her nails. “Yes, Coach Haines.” Ash turned toward the sidelines to find Rebecca’s mom, and her heart took several stutters when she saw Emma standing near the far end of the field. She had completely forgotten she had invited her, but knowing how particular the doctor was, Ash wasn’t surprised that she had come.

Ash forced her attentions back to the team. “Rebecca, your mom is right there. Go get her, and then
hustle back.” Ash pointed to a plump, thirty-something woman sitting in a lawn chair on the sideline. Rebecca took off at a full run toward her mother.

“Let’s
go over the lineup.” Ash looked at the clip board she had in her left hand, and made an effort to keep her mind and her eyes from wandering to Emma. She went over each child’s position, and showed them which ‘x’ they were on the game grid.

“But coach, I want to be goalie this week.” Nathan Reynolds was Ash’s least favorite
member of the team. He was a whining child who always, regardless of the time of year, had a runny nose. His mother was overbearing and operating under the misconception that her son was the next David Beckham . The truth of the matter was Nathan could barely tie his cleats, much less play soccer.

“Nathan, we talked about this at practice. You’re not ready for goalie, so you’re
going to stick with right wing defender.” She knew his mother would be over in short order when the game started to point out Ash’s mistake.

“But I-” The boy’s voice instantly
went up an octave to a full-on whine.

Ash shook her head at the boy. “Zip it
, Nathan.” The boy bit his lower lip and fell silent, obviously deterred by Ash’s stern tone.

Ash continued her field assignment announcements as Aiden ran up and stood on the outskirts of the huddle. She glanced over at the sideline, and saw Michael stop when he noticed Emma. After several seconds, Ash’s brother
was smiling as he walked the woman over toward where Amy stood. Ash watched as pleasantries and handshakes were exchanged.

“Coach?” Cory brought Ash back to the task at hand.

Ash cleared her throat. “Sorry. Everyone remember to have a good time, and if at all possible, win.” She put her right hand into the center of the huddle. “Okay, everyone in.” Ten small hands clustered over Ash’s larger hand.

“Wait for me!” Rebecca came charging from the end of the field nearest the restrooms, and flung herself into the huddle
, setting off a round of giggles.

“Quiet down
, everyone, and hands in!” Ash refocused the exuberate team. “On three. One, two, three - aaahoooww!” The kids threw their heads back and howled like coyotes, then broke ranks and sprinted to their positions.

Ash jogged to the sideline, trying not to look at Emma standing next to her brother and sister-in-law. Luckily the coach from the other team walked toward her, giving her the
perfect excuse to not interact, and in her nervousness, embarrass herself.

“Hey Ash, your kids look good.” Leo
Maltin was a retired Air Force Major, and coached his grandson’s team the Tigers.

Ash smiled, and shook the man’s outstretched hand. “Thanks Leo. Yours too.”

The two parted ways, and stood in their respective spots along the sideline. Ash took a deep breath, and turned towards Emma who stood twenty feet to her right.

She felt a blush rise in her neck and face when she realized Emma was staring intently at
her. Her friend’s piercing blue eyes were covered by a pair of black, wire frame, aviator style Ray-Ban sunglasses, but she was clearly looking right at Ash.