Becoming Maddie (The Casterhouse series Book 1) (30 page)

Aiden got her. He got her even when she didn’t get herself. Aiden understood her in a way that she didn’t even understand herself but step by step she was getting better at it. Maddie was starting to get more in touch with herself.

“Best night ever.” Maddie breathed,

Kissing him again Maddie then reached out and scratched Marvin’s head before laying back down. She rested her head on Aiden’ chest, an arm across his waist and her leg thrown over his. Aiden put his arms round her shoulders and gently played with her hair.

“If the night was so good why did you sigh?” Aiden asked.

Maddie knew that Aiden knew. She also knew that he knew she wanted to talk about it. That sometimes, with big decisions, Maddie needed to talk them out loud. Even if the person, or dog, she is talking to don’t reply it helped her.

Giving Aiden a quick squeeze with her arm and leg she started to explain her sigh.

“Jean asked me to open a shop here with her.” Maddie started.

There was a long silence as she thought about her next words. Aiden didn’t push and make her speak. Instead he just held her till she was ready to let it all out.

“She has no children of her own and said she always thought of me as a daughter.” Maddie carried on. “When she closed and sold the old shop she kept the money in an account that has just been growing with interest and doing nothing else.”

Maddie paused again. Just like when Jean was talking to her earlier she could feel the emotions growing inside her.

“She said…She said that she had kept it for me.” Maddie’s husky voice finally got out. “Jean had been hoping that one day she would find me again and if she didn’t she had had it put into her will that that money was for me and only me. That she hoped I opened a shop with it but if not she just wanted me to be happy.”

Stopping again she tried not to cry at the kindness that this woman had shown her. Never had Maddie ever thought that she had touched Jean’s life as much as Jean had touched hers. When Jean had told her how much there was in the account last time she checked Maddie had put her hand to her chest and stated that she wasn’t touching a penny of it.

“Jean wouldn’t listen to me when I told her I wanted none of it, that I was just happy to have her in my life again.” Maddie now whispered.

Aiden squeezed her before carrying on playing with her hair with one hand. The other stopped petting the now sleeping Marvin and wrapped round her too so that she was now in a kind of Aiden cocoon.

“That went on for a while but Jean said she thought I would be like that so came up with a compromise.” Maddie said still speaking softly. “She said we should open a craft shop in Casterfield together. There is more than enough money to do that and to fund us both comfortably while we wait for it to make a profit. In fact there is even more money than that.”

Maddie moved away from Aiden to lay on her back. The idea was so big and so crazy that she couldn’t even think about it straight. Putting her hand to her head she closed her eyes and tried to keep her breath steady.

Aiden rolled onto his side to look down at her.

“If you take the money out of the situation all together, do you want to?” Aiden asked her while he rested his hand on her hip.

Taking a breath Maddie thought about his question and everything in her being was telling her the same answer.

“Yes.” Maddie said so softly that it was a wonder that Aiden even heard her. “Yes I really do. To be able to share the love for crafts that Jean gave me with other people would be amazing.”

Aiden lent down and kissed the tip of her nose and moved back to look down at her face again.

“So what’s stopping you Ruby?” He asked.

“I can’t take that money.” Maddie stated firmly. “I can’t have anything to do with it.”

She put her arm over her eyes and tried to cut out everything. It hurt too much to have a dream so close but still have it miles out of her reach.

“Why not?” Aiden asked moving Maddie’s arm so that he could see her eyes.

“It’s guilt money.” Maddie explained. “Not real guilt money because she has done nothing wrong but she thinks she has. So it’s kind of guilt money.”

Maddie could feel the tears start to well up inside her. She didn’t want to cry about this. When she talked about it with Jean that night she had thanked her but said ‘No’. Jean had said don’t stick to that no just yet. To think on it and get back to her. What Jean didn’t know was that Maddie had barely thought of anything else.

“What if it’s not guilt money?” Aiden started to say but Maddie cut in.

“It is.” She stated.

Aiden gave her a look that said let me speak. Maddie held up and moved her hand in a way that said ‘go on then.’

“What if it’s not guilt money?” Aiden started again and gave her another look when Maddie looked like she might interrupt him again. “What if she wants to open a shop with a woman that she loves like her own daughter? What if she wants to open a shop with a woman that loves crafts as much as her? What if she wants to open a shop with you for no other reason than she loves you and that it will make you both happy?”

Maddie hadn’t thought about it like that. She had been so caught up in thinking that Jean was only giving her the money because she had introduced her to Charles but maybe it wasn’t. Slowly the other options started to sink in. Could she do this?

“I’m scared.” Maddie said looking Aiden in the eyes. “I have so much already. So much good stuff I am scared to ask for more.”

Aiden moved his forehead so that it rested on hers. He also wrapped his arms round her so she was in another big Aiden bear hug. Kissing her softy and sweetly he said.

“So don’t ask for it. Just take it and live everyday thankful that you have.”

Maddie swallowed the emotions that were bubbling inside her.

“It won’t always be easy Maddie.” Aiden said gently and Maddie somehow knew he wasn’t just talking about the shop anymore. “But if you want it all that much you have to work to keep it.”

Maddie moved instantly closer to him and wrapped her arms round him tighter still.

“I know how blessed I am. I don’t care how hard it gets I will never let go of the warmth.” Maddie promised.

Aiden pulled back and kissed her. Long and hard.

Then his hands started wandering.

Then so did Maddie’s.

Then Marvin woke up and got off the bed.

Maddie loved it!

Chapter 24

Hours later Maddie and Aiden were fast asleep. Maddie was on her side facing the window and Aiden was being big spoon behind her. There was no space between them and Marvin was stretched out on the other side of the bed. It really was a good thing they slept so close together because the dog took all the other available space.

Maddie blinked as she tried to see in the dark. What had woken her up?

Her phone rung loudly on the bedside table next to her.

There it was.

Aiden groaned and reached over Maddie for her phone. She thought about reaching too but she was just way to comfy. Besides she didn’t really mind Aiden answering her phone.

“Hello?” Aiden asked his voice croaky and full of sleepiness.

Maddie liked it a lot.

She couldn’t hear what was being said on the phone but she could hear the murmur of a voice on the other end.

“I am her boyfriend. She is sleeping right now. Can I ask what this is about before I wake her?” Aiden asked the person on the other end.

Smiling into her pillow Maddie felt all warm and fuzzy inside. She loved that he called himself her boyfriend. It was childish because they were both grown up and past having boyfriends and girlfriends but Maddie liked it anyways.

There was more murmurs over the other end of the line and as they kept going Maddie could feel tension hit Aiden’s body. It went from relaxed to rock solid in a second. Turning her head she tried to look at his face. Once glance at it showed there was definitely something wrong.

“Okay I am going to tell her now and we will be there as soon as we can.” Aiden said into the phone before hanging up.

Aiden reached over and put it back on the bedside table. Then with gentle hands he moved Maddie so that she was laid on her back and he was on top of her.

Maddie was really starting to get worried. It was like Aiden was moving her into a position that gave him maximum contact. Almost as if he was trying to give her comfort through his touch.

Just before she could open her mouth and ask him, Aiden moved his hands so that they were on either said of her face. His eyes were serious and worried as they connected with her.

“I am just going to give it all to you at once, okay?” Aiden said or kind of asked.

Maddie nodded knowing it must be serious if he was telling her everything and not just dealing with it himself.

“That was the hospital on the phone.” Aiden started. “Jean had been attacked and is in intensive care. She has been asking for you Maddie.”

Her body went completely still as did her mind. Jean had been hurt? Who would hurt a soul so kind? Then it hit her, Maddie knew exactly who would hurt Jean.

“We need to go now!” Maddie said trying to sit up.

If she was right about who had attacked Jean then she knew that her friend would be needing her badly right now. Jean would be needing comfort and to be reminded that there is good in the world. At least that was always how she had felt afterwards.

Aiden stopped her from moving and looked over her face frowning.

“Are you okay?” He asked warily.

“Of course I am not okay.  One of my closest friends, who I have only just be reconnected with
tonight
, has been
attacked
and is laying in hospital asking for
me
.” Maddie rambled. “Of course I am not okay! Would you be okay?”

Aiden still looked at her but moved to the side so that Maddie could get out from under him. Which she did and quickly. Going straight to her drawers she raked through them finding some panties and bra to shove on. Hoping from one foot to the other she pulled her panties up and stumbled to the bathroom.

Jean needed her and quickly. She more than needed her. Her friend was lying in a hospital bed in intensive care all alone, in a town she didn’t know and was only there because of her. Now she wanted Maddie to be by her side and that was exactly what she was going to have.

Coming running back out the bathroom and into the room she found Aiden sat on the edge of the bed putting on a pair of shoes. He had his jeans on but not a top. If it had been any other moment she would have stopped to enjoy the play of his muscles across his back but Maddie had no time.

Going to the drawers again she pulled one open and grabbed a pair of jeans, t-shirt and then hoody. Shoving them all on as fast as she could, she started to search around the room for her trusted pair of boots.

“Why are you not surprised?” Aiden asked quietly from the other side of the room.

Not stopping her hunt for her boots Maddie looked at him frowning before looking under the bed.

There they were!

Getting down on her knees she reached under the bed and pulled them out. Sitting on her bum, on the floor, in the middle of the bedroom Maddie pulled on her boots.

“Maddie.” Aiden said.

This time she paid more attention to him. Having gotten one boot on, she looked up at him.

“What?” She snapped as she did up the small buckle on the back of her boot.

“Why are you not surprised that Jean was attacked?” Aiden asked again.

It was then she realised that Aiden was completely ready. He had a jumper on now, burgundy that just seemed to make him look more welcoming and touchable. Maddie made a quick mental note to only ever buy burgundy tops for him.

Shaking her head out of her totally random thoughts and back onto the more pressing present. Maddie decided quickly on how to answer.

“I don’t know what you are talking about?” Maddie said turning away from Aiden to focus on getting her other boot on. “I am super surprised. Mostly though I just want to get to the hospital.”

Maddie jumped to her feet and started to walk past Aiden and out of the room. Aiden’s arm shot out and stopped her from walking past him. Bringing her hands up to grab onto his arm, Maddie tried to move his arm.

“Aiden.” Maddie said exasperatedly. “We have to get to the hospital.”

Aiden pulled her so that she was stood in front of him.

“We will and the sooner you stop lying to me the sooner we can go.” Aiden stated.

Looking up at him frowning, Maddie said nothing but just glared.

“This isn’t going to get you to the hospital anytime soon is it?” Aiden remarked.

Maddie crossed her arms and kept glaring up at him while she thought about what she was going to say. Why was she still lying in the first place? Maybe lying was a bit strong. They did need to get to the hospital ASAP, and she was worried about her friend. If it was a lie, it was really just one of omission. Maddie hadn’t told him about Charles escaping from prison.

“I’m not lying.” Maddie said doing her best not to look him straight in the eye.

It seemed to her that every time she did that he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. Like he could see right inside her head and he wasn’t always impressed with what she was thinking.

“Fine.” Aiden snapped and Maddie could see that she was about to reach the end of his patience. “Don’t tell me.”

With that Aiden let go of her and walked out the room. Maddie could hear him pick up his keys and open the front door.

“Are you coming?” Aiden called out to her in a bland voice.

Quickly moving out of the bedroom and stopping to give Marvin a quick hug, Maddie then ran out the door after Aiden. He was not hanging about anymore, he suddenly wanted to get to the hospital and fast.

Wow, Maddie had managed to seriously piss of Aiden.

Running out the main door of her building onto the street she looked for his truck before running towards it. Opening the passenger door Maddie hiked herself up into the seat and did the belt up. Aiden had the truck running already so once she was ready they were pulling out of the space and onto the road.

It looked like the whole ride to the hospital was going to be done in total silence. Maddie knew that she should break the news to him but did she have the guts? It wasn’t that she was afraid to tell him…

Okay it was that she was afraid to tell him but not because she was worried that he would be scared of Charles hurting him, which had been what she was worried about before. Not even that Aiden would not want to be with her because she came with too much baggage. No, it was more because she hadn’t told him already. Maddie had kept it to herself, one way or another.

When she had first spilt the beans it had been because she hadn’t gotten to that bit yet. Then when she next had the chance Maddie didn’t want to ruin the moment with bringing up that awful stuff again. The days went past and before she knew it weeks had gone by and she had never told him. It wasn’t that she didn’t stop thinking about it because she did. Maddie thought about it often actually. Wondering if she was being watched sometimes when she was alone. Paying more attention to her dog when he stared a little too long at a corner onto another street.

Detective Miller never called, and although she wished he would and soon, Maddie had also decided it was kind of a good thing that he hadn’t. If he called he would either be calling to say that they had caught her ex-husband or that they realised that he was on his way to her and was in her area. So although he hadn’t called Maddie was trying to think of it as a good thing and just put it out of her mind all together.

Maddie and Aiden were meant to be making a real try at being together. For Maddie it was no longer a try but that instead they were together forever. She had been thinking that Aiden felt the same way.

The more she thought about this the more she realised that she was in the wrong. Maddie should have told Aiden a long time ago. She should have told him that night when she had shared everything.

They were half way to the hospital. She didn’t want Aiden to walk into a situation when he didn’t have all the facts for (surely) the police would be there. Besides she was meant to be sharing everything now. Aiden and Maddie were Aiden and Maddie.

Biting her lip she took a deep breath. There really was no time like right now.

“That phone call I got was from a Detective.” Maddie started to say looking at Aiden.

He didn’t turn to look at her or even acknowledge that she had spoken. He
was
annoyed with her…

He had every right to be.

“He called to say that Charles had swallowed some things, batteries I think, and that he had been taken for surgery to a local hospital. Before they could move him back to the prison to carry on his time he escaped.” Maddie still hadn’t looked away from Aiden.

As she had been talking she had also been watching Aiden’s hands start to grip the wheel a little tighter and take a couple of deep breaths. Already Maddie could feel the anger that he was feeling start to fill the cab. Was it directed at her or was it directed at Charles? Or a little of both?

“They think his friend Craig helped him.” Maddie carried on talking. “Detective Miller wanted to know if I had seen him or heard anything from either of them since…well…since court.”

Still the silence from him went on but Maddie somehow felt that this time it was more to do with taking in everything she was saying. The anger was still there too but maybe he was calming down a little.

“I wasn’t keeping it from you on purpose.” Maddie pleaded a little but Aiden snorted clearly not believing that. “I really didn’t. I was going to tell you that night but then I got so upset. So I thought I would tell you in the morning but then we got…well…busy. Then I thought I would tell you when you got home but then I had that panic thing and went to the cinema and-”

“Maddie.” Aiden cut in. “I can’t hear this right now.”

What did he mean by that? Did he not want to know about the call or was it more? That instead maybe he didn’t want to hear her reasons for not telling him.

“Aiden.” Maddie started even though she wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“Maddie I am asking you not to say anymore.” Aiden said putting his hand up this time. “I can’t hear right now why you have kept something from me…again.”

He then rubbed a hand over his face before putting it back on the steering wheel. He gripped it so tight Maddie could see the white over his knuckles.

“Aiden.” Maddie started even though she wasn’t quite sure what she was going to say exactly.

“Please.” Aiden said totally exasperated.

Turning away from him, Maddie started out the window. She had really hurt him. Once again, although this time without meaning to, Maddie kept something from him. She knew she wasn’t going to lose Aiden over this but that didn’t stop it from being bad. Wither she meant to, or not, Maddie kept something from the man she loved and he was in pain.

Maddie was so much happier than she had been before but it wasn’t always easy being open and freely sharing. For a while it would be nice if things just went smooth. Right now though, Maddie needed to make sure Aiden knew that she hadn’t meant to hurt him and that she loves him.

Taking a deep breath. Maddie tried to gather all the strength she had inside herself because it was
really
important that she get this right.